So I was talking with a friend who has been in the BDSM community way longer than I have. I had a situation happen with personal info on a far less benign site. It had me wanting to run for the hills. My friends response was "if this level of shadiness makes you want to run then you won't be able to handle BDSM." I asked what meet ups were for then? They are supposed to be part of the vetting process. To remove the sketchiness from the situation. A face, a name.
My my friend comes from a submissive bordering on slave point of view. Asked about my view on power dynamics in a switch relationship. I stated that I don't go as far as degradation on either end of the spectrum. I look for balance in a relationship play or personal. My friend said that it would be hard for me to find someone in the community if I'm not willing to go as far as degradation either in acting dominant or submissive. That if I'm not willing to do that, people will go find someone who will. That that is what people are looking for.
I'm new to all this. I'm just trying to get an idea of what I should expect. I use switch, because it's the closest thing I associate to at this point. I honestly hate labels, and just want to be me. Someone who takes control sometimes. And, sometimes I want someone to take control. Not looking to be master or slave.
So, help me wade through this. Am I being unrealistic in thinking that there can be any kind of dominance or submission without going into slave/master territory? Is it okay that the only thing I may have about the other person is a photo and a face to face conversation? Any thoughts would be welcomed.
