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Contemplative musings of a sub.

Honest gut feelings about real issues facing chatters here drawing from what i have been taught and from what i have personally learned.
4 years ago. September 6, 2018 at 2:29 PM

lets are a  collared sub.   and an aquaintance of yours who is lifestyle minded has met your Sir who is poly and they have chemistry together.

this new possible sub lives long distance from your Sir and seems to have general life issues that pop up and that person tends to need advice on a regular basis.

this new person has had a habit of always calling you first before calling Sir.  And sometimes its to borrow money and even then this person calls you first.  

how does this make you feel?

do you want to change this?

if should you go about trying to change it?

what would you say?

why would you say it?

what do you expect to see change??? 

and who would you speak to first?

if you decide to let it continue....why?


and yes this might trigger strong feelings, mess with your hormones and make you mad or angry....please share

4 years ago. August 1, 2018 at 8:37 PM



So this person enters my pm and states......i liked 50 shades..i really enjoyed it.


and i said.....oh yeah thats nice...but heres a secret....its fake...the books are fake...and so are the movies.....


and  the cartoon interactive coloring books will be fake.


and oh yes there will be an that you can play on your can yell OW OW OW every time the screen says.....SPANK.!!!!


Now thats  just what everyone be out in public  listening to ppl be fake spanked sitting right next to them.


Next time i get will be a whole lot more fun than that!!!!


50 SHADES ....THE GAME....cumming for your phone soon!!!!!   completely interactive version!!!! get your fingers ready for a workout!!!



4 years ago. July 7, 2018 at 4:46 PM

i composed this a short while ago on my fet wall.  then decided to share it here....enjoy!!!!!



has anyone or does anyone remember the age thing that you find on a toy box for kids? goes something like this....this toy appropriate for ages 3 mos to a year....yadda yadda and its different from toy to toy depending on the maturity level needed to play with any given toy.
well W/we all dont come with those recommendations but when i look at someones profile who sends me an email and i see nothing but pictures of their cock posted....i imagine this momentary notice that tells worried only about their cock. possesses only the maturity to worry that THEY are satisfied and not you.
and im aware that anyone viewing my posted pictures could likely think things like...plays too rough for me....or is a wild one...but it does not really matter except that the way i want to play in my sandbox is way different from the way that they probably want to play in theirs. and there isnt anything wrong with that except that....
chances are im looking to play with someone with a compatable maturity level to mine (yes OMG a woman worried about what she wants....oh MY!!!) and im looking to play with someone who likes to and is able to play with the same toys i like in the same way i do.
oh and while im at not sorry that i dont get turned on thinking about sexing someone who is young enough to be my kid. theres just many shades of wrong there for my taste.
if you need to get laid that up your candy money and pay someone fun. im NOT that girl. and dont muck up MY sandbox. my sex toys deserve to be treated with respect. and so do I.

4 years ago. July 3, 2018 at 3:02 PM

it can be painful to break up as we all know.  and it can be really hard to do the stuff that needs to be done in our lives that we really dont want to do.  but it becomes necessary.


walking away stings. and even more so when we have been in a relationship that ended up not being a good fit for us.


once the smoke clears that is no longer being fueled by the insanity things start to look better.


sure the what ifs...will always swirl around like a thick fog...but in time that too will disapate.  and yes the feelings that you have failed will be there. even if the other person had a serious character flaw it will be normal for the other person to have feelings of remorse.   but the great news is there is a whole world out there and you never know who or what the forces of the universe are going to throw your way.  or call it fate.


dont let the feelings of failure wear or weigh you down.   stand up and just start kind to yourself

4 years ago. June 18, 2018 at 5:16 PM

1. touch.  to feel the touch of leather restraints as they are wrapped around your limbs and fastened.  or when rope does the same thing.  or the other persons  fingers on your flesh.  the kiss of the flogger, the sting of a cane. touch means a lot when you are right there with someone.


2. to taste.  to taste someones flesh, their flavor,their lips,  the coldness of an ice cube. you could imagine it ...but why would you?


3.  to see.  when you see the spanking implements layed out on a towel.  when you see various other toys waiting to be used.   when you see the other person readying rope or restraints.  when you see these things and play today you will remember those feelings when you see those items will know that great feelings are yet to come.


4. to hear.  the sound of the spanking implement as it heads your way to make contact with your flesh.  the clinking of chain.  the squeeze of the lube bottle.  the various sounds you will make as you feel different sensations, the giggles, the sighs, the moans, the squeeks, the squeels. so many sounds that are music to other persons  ears.


5. feel.   feel the softness yet strength of the leather.    the coolness and hardess of the chains.  follow the fluidity of the ropes.  experience the absence of your senses.  feel your wetness as it trails down your legs from your excitement...and feel your plain raw excitement to be with the one you are enjoying yourself and them enjoying you.  feel a whole range of emotions like a proverbial pandoras box.  such a myriads of to another taking you for a seemingly endless ride.  feel that cane as it smacks your skin..or the open hand upon your flesh.  feel the metal as it clamps your tender nipple. feel the fingers that gently trace your labia or tweak your nipples  getting them hard before the clamps go on.  and learn that as those fingers play your body like an instrument you can imagine what is to come next.  or  learn that you never know what sensation, pleasure or pain will  you feel next.


6. to laugh.   the other end of tickels whether hard or soft.  with fingers or other items.  and sometimes what happens when sharp edges are used in play which end up triggering giggling.  either music to someone elses ears or maybe not.  all depends on what is happening in the moment. and shared laughter into the night is fun shared with your partner. allow yourself to dissolve into fits of giggles at silly moments and ideas shared.


7. and to love.and if you are lucky and fortunate  you will get to love.   that love will be with you through all of your exploring whether its pain or pleasure     that love you can ultimately feel will carry you through all of it. 


sit there a keyboard warrior and only imagine what the 7 wonders of the BDSM world are really like!!!



4 years ago. June 18, 2018 at 3:58 PM



short answer is yes!!!!!!


everyone starts out with the interests that drew them to bdsm in the first place.    as you learn about other forms of play and try things your kinks can change to accomodate your new interests.  

and you can drop old kinks if you have replaced them with more exciting and for you funner kinks.


its called growth.  

playing with someone should scratch both of your itches  but it should allow for growth and encourage both parties to change and experiment and experience new stuff.


some hard limits   should stay hard limits.


but soft limits are meant to be sexplored and maybe embraced

and sometimes  pushed with agreement from everyone involved.

4 years ago. June 18, 2018 at 3:53 PM

Announcing that you are bored is not the best ice breaker.

If i told you i was bored would not give a damn ...and so you know what i think


but what im really thinking is......


is it truly boredom or are you just not interested any longer  by the endless repetition of your life????


 change things up but dont expect strangers to entertain you.  

4 years ago. June 18, 2018 at 3:49 PM

First of all it depends on how intensely or extremely you play. 


the short answer is...if you have marks or bruises ....wait until they heal before you play again.


its not any more complicated than that.

4 years ago. June 18, 2018 at 3:46 PM

Every so often this question reaches my ears and well its no small point.

But way before it reaches this point a sub can ask questions in the beginning that will give a clear heads up to the personality of the Dominant who is under consideration.

Simply ask the prospective D if they have ever ignored a subs  limit and why.  Now listen very carefully to the answer.

And honestly if they have ignored a limit before chances are they will do it again. And chances are they will do it to YOU.

If you decide to make a go of it with this person you will then risk getting emotionally tangled up with them and well your heart will have a way of complicating all of it.  Then it will be hard for you when you are saying  he repeatedly ignores my limits  but i love Him or Her.

And while we are at it...asking a prospective D  if They have pictures of the forms of play they engage in is valid.  of course be prepared for all kinds of excuses.  but i have a portfolio of hundreds of my play pictures...most of em dont have my face in them.

If the D is still on good terms with the exe subs and the reasons why blah blah dont matter.   pictures taken of their rope work  shared with you wont divulge who that person was.  wont tell you where they live.  someone parting on good terms will have access to pictures of their creative and kinky work to share with you.

and a heads up...someone with pictures that are not home made may not end up being the play partner you fantasize or hope you will find.

if you lower your standards   that is what you are going to get in the end.

4 years ago. June 10, 2018 at 2:30 PM

Mainly this goes out to the ladies...but it can be useful knowledge for the boys...well the ones who genuinely care about helping their partners be the best they can be.


Orgasms..yes i talk about them a lot.   Aside from the pleasure part of them...and the fun getting there...they have a few beneficial perks  shall we say.


Well many of us have those lumpy bellies that really annoy us.   they get in the way of the zippers on our jeans...and they do much for making us hate ourselves.    and blah blah blah..eating right...and blah blah blah exercise....but wait a minute........exercise....not the i hate to work out nonsense.....but orgasms...yes we are back to those...ha ha...getting to the orgasm is a work out of sorts.....and when you have that orgasm  you will notice that your belly tenses  up with a great belly crunch.  

Now you all know why it is that i advocate orgasms  out side of the will cut down on your belly just have to make time daily for them and keep at it.  become dedicated to your orgasms.  this way you wont make your sore knee worse ..or ruin anything else you need on your body for the rest of the long haul.    work smart. 

my avatar is really me...and it shows that bellies  can slim down.


there are emotional benefits too as well.  but think about this point...i mean really think about it.....when you you instantly think you need a pasta dinner????   no.   you are happy and content and the last thing on your mind are hungry.   try this just for fun.....if you can..and you have a hunger pain...go rub one out and see what i mean.  i know a sub who did this and lost 80 pounds in a year.   

seriously when you are happy.....happy chemicals in your brain.   instead of being stressed and packing more inches around your waist .....have orgasms  and be happy.....or do stomach crunches  cause obviously THEY WORK and dont enjoy any of the pleasure.    again.....its a choice and make your choice...


oh and boys......there is another effect giving your partner orgasms  has for them AND your relationship with them.   first of all YOU have to make a choice to put THEM FIRST before yourself....(that was a spoiler- you have to be smart enough to get that). so yeah .....its a choice...and lets just say when you choose them first, you could end up with a happy person who will expend a lot of energy to put YOU first.  so look at put them first ...they put you becomes a very pleasureable circle.   and lets just say ...there are no 12 step programs (spoiler alert again) to help either of you stop.

so for the shit heads who only think about themselves and will only ever think about truly deserve to never find that sub or slave you fantasize about because you dont deserve them and cant do right by them.   karma has a way of being a real bitch.   and the forces of the universe wont send you anyone fun if you cannot make it fun for them.   

for the record ...i love sitting back and watching for karma to even things up....karma always does.