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Wolfy's Woofs

Im gonna try making a blog, to see if i can provoke thought and maybe be helpful to other people in their lives, relationships or anything else :)
6 days ago. Thu 06 Dec 2018 11:29:49 AM IST

"In the moment when i truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment i also love him."

I think this quote will be difficult to accept for some, hard to understand for others, and entirely inconcievable to the rest. I consider myself to be a fairly "powerful" or adept Empath. I have an affinity for feeling how people feel, or have felt, including spirits or emotions that left a mark on a particular place or thing. Empathy comes pretty naturally for me. So i feel like i have an advantage in understanding the quote above.

So i view things like anger, malice, prejudice, hatred... they are all symptoms of festering wounds. There are always one or more emotional wounds which are left unattended which result in these outwardly negative feelings and a focus on trying to make ourselves feel better. The thing that makes it worse is that many times, we can't heal ourselves. Sometimes no one else can heal us either. So it becomes a feudal attempt which closes us off from the world emotionally and locks us in this self-absorbed loop of trying to make ourselves feel better. This is an emotional disease, and it's a killer. If left unattended, you will continue to hurt and leech off of everyone around you until you finally destroy yourself. The emotional death may take place long before the physical one, but that leaves behind an empty husk and creates real-life vampires. However, even emotional death can be healed, it's just very difficult and dangerous. I may make another blog about how to be a lamb lead to slaughter in order to tesurrect someone who is emotionally dead, but that is a whole different subject.

So, now the question is "why post any of this? Where is the challenge or where is the help?" Let's get to that now.

Have you ever judged someone? I know i have. I try not to, but i certainly am not perfect. In those moments, we are being self-centered. Even if what the person is doing is wrong, or hurtful, jusging them does nothing to fix it. We owe it to them, those around them, and ourselves to try and make the situation better. So how should we do that?

Im going to use bullying as an example. It's pretty simple, widely experienced and fairly understandable. If you see someone bullying someone else, verbally abusing and threatening physical violence, what should you do? Is rushing in violently to the rescue the answer? I know you are probably expecting me to say "no!" But if we are being honest, the answer is "maybe, but probably not." 

Think of it this way. The bully is sick right? How do we treat a sick person? Especially a person with a deadly disease? A person who doesn't know they have this deadly disease. Is physical violence the immediate answer? Again, the answer is "maybe, but probably not." We can't allow this person to spread their deadly disease, however, we have to act with compassion. We take the proper steps to protect ourselves (like hazmat suits) and then we address them with compassion for their misfortune of contracting this disease. If the outbreak is severe enough, maybe we are talking quarentine, but that would be extreme.  Im thinking more like the flu. If treated, it's not really that big of a deal, if left untreated, it can absolutely kill you. When you see someone with the flu, you are compassionate. You may avoid them, if you aren't healthy enough or careful enough yourself to avoid infection. However, if you care about them, and are close to them, you will most likely, carefully take care of them. Make sure they are getting the best medicine, taking in enough fluids, doctor's appointments, ect... emotional wounds are the same way. And should be treated the same. Now, what if you see someone sick with the flu, theu don't know it (somehow) and you are unsure if they have anyone to take care of them? Sure, you can say "not my problem" but then, maybe your lack of empathy is an example of how you are already infected. Most people probably wouldn't blame you for saying "they can probably take care of themselves" and you can do that... but what if they can't, and you saw the signs, had an opportunity to help, and you turned away from them. They will most likely go on, spreading theor infection like a pandemic until they eventually destroy themselves, because /everyone/ in their lives left them alone. I believe you will have to answer for that one day. Whether it be God or the universe or karma, someone is going to ask "why did you abandon this person? Look at all the suffering that caused" and you will have to answer for it.

Maybe reading this, you have diagnosed yourself with this particular disease and you are asking "This is actually pretty close to home and kind of scary... what do i do?" Well, treatment is out there. If you have a way to contact me i will do my best to help! I am not perfect and i am not the emotional Jesus, but i will do whatever i can; even if that means pointing you to someone better or more qualified (like a doctor). 

Anyway, this applies to so many different situations other than bullying. Any time you find yourself disgusted at another person because of their appearance or actions, try to have some empathy. Don't be irresponsible and put yourself in harms way, but try to remind yourself... "this is a human soul, they have had an entire life of experiences that have lead them to this point" and try to have some empathy. Then you can ask yourself, what is the /right/ thing to do?

1 week ago. Tue 04 Dec 2018 10:03:45 AM IST

So, i wasn't planning on making another blog so soon, but i felt inspired and i hope it will match my theme of being thought-provoking and helpful :)

 

You can only change yourself. You can't make someone see things your way. You can't force someone to believe what you believe. Even if they say they agree with you because you have broken their will, you have not changed them, their heart or their mind. Even with real life torture all you can do is encourage them to say what you want to hear them say. Confessions and promises made under duress are hollow and meaningless. 

So i just wonder, why do i see so many people try to do this? No matter how right you think you are, no matter how true something is for you... you will never be able to force someone to believe the same thing you do. 

Truly, the only thing in this world you can control is yourself. If you want to see a change, change yourself. If you are right, others will choose to go your way too, because they will see the difference you make. It is impossible for us to perfect ourselves, but, if you can help others while attempting to fix yourself, then that is a good thing.

Another helpful thing to understand is, just because it's right for you, doesn't mean it's right for everyone. People's needs, and situations are different and everyone experiences life and love in fantastic new ways every day. 

 

Heres the take away. When you stop trying to force everyone to be exactly like you, most often, you are able to relax. The black and white dot you were staring so hard at that it gave you an aneurism suddenly expands and evolves into a huge canvas of colorful artistic beauty! 

This is not saying "never discuss anything." And it's not saying "never express your opinion" but it is saying "allow everyone their opinions, because you can't change them." 

My last thing i want to express... my opinion, is no better than anyone elses. We are all equally as important and equally as inconsequential to the universe. My opinion may be the most popular one, or it may be my opinion alone. These things being said, my opinion means exactly as much and as little as yours. Because of that, i always do my best (im not perfect) to never belittle or make you feel small, unimportant, or uneducated because your opinions are different than mine. If you express your opinion, i may or may not want to express mine. If we compare differences and discuss it, that is good, it helps us to spiritually, emotionally and socially mature! :) If we choose not to discuss it, that is fine too! No one has to convert to anyone else's opinion. Noone can force someone to adopt an idea and i will never try to change your mind. Because the only one who can change your mind, is you.

I hope this was both challenging and empowering :)

1 week ago. Mon 03 Dec 2018 04:41:48 PM IST

"If this isn't love, then why does it feel so good?" 

 

What is love? Is it a feeling? Is it attraction? Is it an action?

 

For me, Love is (quite literally) my God. Love is the only thing that means anything. Love is an imperishable and inexhaustible force. Love is the sum of actions in self-denial. Love is a choice.

 

You don't fall in love, you choose to love someone. Love doesn't fade, you choose to withold your love. When you /enjoy/ someone, you are enphatuated or attracted to them. When you return anger with patience, pain with understanding and betrayals with forgiveness, that is Love. 

 

When you tell someone "follow your heart!" And watch as they are destroyed by a toxic relationship and you wave the "follow your heart" flag and the "do what makes you happy" foam finger at them. That is not love. Telling them "hey, i see these things happening, you arent alone, you deserve Love." Is love.

 

Choosing to stay with a toxic person because "i love them!" Is not love. You hitch yourself to a burning ship out at sea and allow them to destroy themselves while dragging you to the depths with them. Telling someone honestly "i can't be one with you while you are burning, but i will not abandon you while you put out the fires" is love.

 

Being so afraid of your loved one betraying you that you are always suspicious and afford them no freedom... that is not love, it is selfishness.

 

Trusting your partner and accepting that they will one day betray and hurt you while allowing them all the trust and freedom they should have... then, pre-deciding how to forgive them... that is love.

 

"You pick the flowers you like, you nurture the ones you love."