What am I really ?

In growing restless and am unsatisfied . I was a very sexual person with my exe. I did get him into some kink but he just wasn't into my needs like I was. So it was a softer submission.
Yet he was the best I've ever had. Our bodies fit perfectly. I left him just about 10 years ago and felt No one could compare to what he had and what we had everyday so I gave up sex for just about 10 years. It was not easy but I didn't want indulging sex and I don't like huge packages but I do prefer at least 7.5" -9.5" and vanilla sex is okay at times but really I enjoy being tied up and teased and had for hours.
Another thing is men seem to think all women are really into receiving oral sex. While I enjoy it, in all honesty it's never gotten me off. I'm more into fingers n toys. Men are the ones who extremely love oral sex on them and so they don't understand women can be different. Are different.
Well I ended my celibency 6 weeks ago and now I wish I hadn't because now I'm thinking of being filled n played with all day and night.
My dilemma is I don't know how much of a sub Im ready to be. I love nipple suction and breast roping and being cuffed up where I'm at the mercy of my partner. But I've never just met a Dom because I'm a woman who needs to feel chemistry and attraction to the person I'm about to become intimate with. I want to be handled roughly and used for hours but I can't just trust anyone. And there are limits.
Many are into anal sex and many seem to just want to shove it in. Well for me a small butt plug is uncomfortable. If I met the right person and they could be patient I'd probably with slow training and stretching agree to anal. But do I really want anal sex. ? This is an inner conflict within myself. I've fantasized for decades about it and masturbate to it. But in all honesty someone would have to fulfill my needs which require a lot of breast play and fingering and straight up entering me over and over. Foreplay is so important to me.
I also like to give and I like to tease my men too and sometimes tie them up while I lick and suck them all over.
I also don't want cyber sex or talk My mind is it's own cyber world.
My fantasies are so various....from wanting 2 men too dominate me but then there's that anal part......to having a man Just tie me up top and crotch tie me and apply the breast suction machine and then after the intense nipple suction machine while being stretched down below with my man's fingers and toys, ice and red hots. While having my wrist restrained and possibly even using a leg spreader.
What I'm getting is men wanting to just dominate me or make me a slave.
I know Im not into being a complete slave but habe had fantasies about my partner making me a slave for a whole weekend. Where I'm cuffed and naked and habe all kinds of things done to me as I'm powerless.
Is it really to much to ask for a partner in my everyday that says hello and we chat and then on my available weekends and a day or 2 a week have my partner be my caveman but understand while my body is his completely that there needs to be an understanding to limits and I'm not just a fuck doll ?
I'm in Michigan metro Detroit area and I don't know how to even find people like me. My last 3 partners I trained to do what I needed.
Ugh it's so complicated now
Size to me is important
Chemistry is important
Looks are important
Ownership is wanted in the sex department but not throughout our everyday.
I'm me. With particular needs and yes I will give my partner what he desires and more.
But am I truly a sub ? Our am I somewhere inbetween ?
I just wish There was an easy way to find out size, demeanor, and if a man can be what I need.

If you wish to find me it's simple
Debbie Romancheck

Fb