Kitten's Enthsiastic Articles

I just lost my 2 room mates and suddenly have to figure everything out on my own 

Reasons this is a horrific traumatic experience

Room mate 1 was my ex, my safe space and someone who was well aware of my ptsd, panic disorders and adhd

We had been fighting for about 3 weeks but then everything hit a boiling point when he broke my frying pan and me and room mate 2 told his family all the drama and agreed it was best to try and seperate everyone so everyone could calm down

My accountability - I wasn't usually the one starting fights, a lot was happening because my ex had behavioral issues and refused to go to therapy, refused meds and anything else, he was basically hell bent on his own self destruction, I tried to help him a lot of times but it never got through to him, he views people trying to help him as "people trying to punish him" so it was a losing battle and we ended up breaking up last year because of it. The reason we fought recently is he basically told me out of the blue he was already planning on moving out and ditching me cause he wasn't even planning on telling me anything. He was also out late drinking with co workers for several hours past when he should have been home so of course we kept getting worried, then there was a mess where he left for 2 days and we had no idea what he was doing and didn't tell us either, he was also extremely inconsiderate about my anxiety disorder and the constant crying I had from being told I have to figure out somewhere new to live by Christmas

Drama with room mate 2 - he was arrested, I'm honestly not sure why, the cops couldn't tell me much but it seems like he's going away for a long while

I called my ex to try and figure stuff out with him, but he said he probably wasn't coming back and was probably done living with me entirely

So now I'm just on my own with maybe 3 weeks worth of food

I'm still struggling daily trying to find a job and don't totally know how to handle everything emotionally when I've been shaking and crying so much from anxiety I fainted twice yesterday

I don't share this out of pity but as a way to keep track of my own records and events and facts of the situation as best as I know them. 

Any advice would of course be appreciated but honestly even just a "hey that sucks" would at least help me feel emotionally validated

All the drama with my ex prior is also why I haven't made any articles lately, I was so mentally stressed out I couldn't focus on writing anything

Additional note, I almost moved out last year on my own but then I got sick with a lung injury and couldn't do anything because I ended up bed ridden for several months

I admit my self care tanked majorly at the moment given the trauma I'm currently dealing but that can be fixed with time so that's such a smaller issue at the moment

(to the Dom's / sadists about to grill me about the importance of self care especially during trauma, shh, I know, gimmie some time lol) 

I just needed to vent and try to track my own life events somehow.