I wrote something for my ex for therapy sake
It's mostly just venting and clearing the cobwebs
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I believed in you
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Because for the first time, I thought you were my plan A, I thought I could trust you, I thought we would have children, I thought we would grow old together, the part of me that loved you, she loved you with her entire heart, but you never cared from the start, I'm still grieving the future lost, the belongings, the emotional and psychological trauma, the me who you almost made homeless and left for dead
Did those nights I held you when you cried mean nothing?
Did I also mean nothing?
Did those dates mean nothing?
Of course not, why would they
It's silly to trust the person you love and see a future with right?
I guess I was silly then
For trusting someone to be a father to children, go grow old with someone by my side who I thought was my best friend
I know you don't care
You never did
You were so convinced I would hate you
I tried my hardest to hate you
But it never lasted because that hopeless romantic still cared about you
But now?
I don't hate you
But you're dead to me
I only feel that way about 3 people
It's not hate
It's an emptiness where the romance used to be
Like a wilted dried out rose, it's just dead now
But you probably don't care about that either
You're a piece of shit narcissist who nearly stole my future and life from me
I nearly went bye bye at the end of everything...
But you wouldn't care
You'd probably blame me for it
Or you'd play the victim and say how you're the worst person ever
Ya well
Maybe you are
I always said you weren't but you frankly rivaled my psychopath of a dad so no. You are the worst piece of shit I've ever had the displeasure of knowing
You dismantled my sanity, my ability to make friends and new relationships
You were never a Prince
You were never a Master
You were never a good person
You were and are a piece of shit
It's been about 130 days since everything fell apart and I still have 7 to 10 years of extensive therapy I'll need to undo all the damage that you did
Thanks asshole
Cause I totally wanted to be psychologically struggling in my 40s
I believed in you
I believed in our future
I believed in the happiest I was trying to create
But you never did
And now that girl that loved you? You're dead to her and it's never going to change
Because once someone is dead to me
It's a permanent mental lock
But you don't care
You'll never realize who you lost
You'll just continue to use and hurt those who love you
What a pathetic existence you decided to live
You don't get my empathy, sympathy or pity, you get nothing but my silence