Day to day thoughts of a devoted, bratty, sub.

Perfect Princess Sub

One minute, I yearn to be a good Sub for my Master. I'll listen, get rewarded, and be showered with his love and affection. Send special picture to him, and being called a good girl. Honestly, I'll do whats told of me just to be told I'm doing good, or be how perfect I am to him. When I'm feeling like this, all I want is candy and make my Master happy.

Masochistic 

Sometimes all I wish to feel is pain. Very much a masochist, and when I get into moods where all I want is pain, I mean just that. I don't want love or praise. I want to be put in my closet, lights off, having to sit there in darkness until I cant tell if time is even passing. I want to be tied up hard, rope hurting my skin while my Master plays with me angrily, and uses me mercilessly until I cry and cant take it. Be gagged by him until I drool all over myself, my makeup smeared by my tears I cried. I want his anger to be taken out on every inch of me. I'll instigate things just to get a bad punishment, urging him to make it worse. 

Bratty

And then other times, my bratty side surfaces. I teasingly disobey him, sending him "I'm sorry" pictures of me pouting, wearing something I know he'd enjoy. I'll listen to what he says, adding a smart remark in, rolling my eyes oh so much. Pretending to not remember a rule, knowing I damn well did but enjoying how annoyed Master gets re-explaining it to me.

Balancing these out is enjoyable but sometimes hard to be honest.  All three are very much me and make me the unique bratty Princess sub that I am. Sometimes one will out measure the other and become frustrating, but for the most part all three exist in harmony with one another.

My current mood is for sure Masochistic Brat LOL.

I was raised to put thought into the words I chose to voice, and to be a thoughtful person all around.

This applies to me as a Submissive.

I put thought into every interaction with my Dom. Sending a text, completing a task, the way I present myself to him:  I make sure everything I feel is sent in the text. I let myself struggle if I have trouble with a task, never do I pretend to know it all or fake my ability to complete it. I always express my feelings/thoughts about things because I want my Dom to understand me the absolute best he can.

I put nothing but my best self forward because I am his perfectly constructed masterpiece.

Would be such a release to come home to my Dom after work.

My stress would melt away, and my eagerness to serve him would overcome me. I'd love to kneel in front of him, feel his hands grab my hair, hearing the satisfying noise of my leash being attached to my collar as he pulls it up and forces me to look up at him. Would I behave and await his command? Or will I taunt him lightly, pulling back on my leash playfully, my mouth pulling back into a smirk.

I'm going crazy right now, home from work, sitting in my bed as I type this. I wish I could come home and hear my Dom speak to me, ask about my day, what I ate, how I was. Then asking more meaningful questions: Was he on my mind all day? Was I a good girl, or must I be punished? Did I enjoy his tasks? From there, he'd would whisper to me softly in my ear, telling me how I will be pleasing him this evening, and telling me what I would wear. Then, I could please him perfectly, listening and obeying, occasionally being a brat just to tease him. Ahhhhhhh I cant WAIT.

What keeps me going is eventually finding my puzzle piece, one who can guide me with ease, speak words that chill my spine and caress my mind, one who I can grow with and adore.

One thing about me, I have things I specfically look for in a Dom, and only wish for him to be confident in himself AND confident in his ability to truly treat me as his Sub. I dislike hesitation, lack of confidence, and the ability to not be able to handle me. Maybe my specifications may be too much, I feel it is at times because I still havent found my Dom. I love straightfowardness, consitency, excellent communication. I love morning check ins, making sure I'm okay. I love being assigned tasks. But is this too much to ask for?

The answer I tell myself is no: my specifications arent too much, to me they are just the things a Dom should have instilled within him, things he knows to do. 

To my future Dom, 

   I eagerly await you.

Today I especially crave a Master, someone to help me chose what to wear, assign me tasks, and one to check in with throughout the day. It has been a while, and my mind salivates thinking about my future Master. Someone to come home to after work and please, someone who asks about my day, genuinely interested in my day to day activities. I am a natural sub and love being able to please someone whether its through dressing the way they enjoy, completing tasks, and my mind seeks out someone who I can call my home and security. Someone to be my safe haven, help me grow mentally, and further explore my submissive, yet bratty mind. Its painful at times not having a Master.

I cannot wait to find one with whom I can live with, grow with, explore and enjoy life with together. All under the guidance of my superior, always wanting to please him.

Dear future Master, please find me soon.