PrincessEli(sub female)

Eli

Whatever emotions or thoughts going through my mind will end up here

Aftercare, aftercare, aftercare

5 years ago. November 5, 2019 at 12:01 AM

Aftercare is soooo important!

It doesn't matter if you have a Dom or not. Imagine having a rough session with someone or sex that was degrading/humiliating, you will need aftercare even if you're not in a relationship with that person.

In my case, I usually need it the next day, but if I'm with someone and right after sex they start acting cold, distant or they disregard my emotions completly and act like it was a transaction, then it will affect me even before the next day. It's important to be clear about what you both like and expect, even from a one night stand cause in the end you're both supposed to enjoy the moment and none of you should be left sad, unsatisfied or straight up feeling like a prostitute that got paid and for that reason the other person couldn't care less about treating you like a human.

Soooo, aftercare people! Try it.

cynicalone(dom male) - I never understood why dims decide to not take the after care as inportant as the session. Some people dont want it but most need it. If your dom is not giving it to tou you need a new dom

5 years ago

PrincessEli(sub female) - I currently don't have one, but I've been playing with one and I noticed how some "Doms" treat women when they're not their subs

5 years ago

Literate Lycan(dom male) - It's like gravity . . . it's not just a good idea . . it's a law (of nature . . ) Ok. Bad pun but completely agree with you.

5 years ago

PrincessEli(sub female) - Hahaha exactly!

5 years ago

Amazoni(dom female){Yes} - I’m new to this and am just having the conversation with my sub. I feel like he is avoiding the subject. Any thoughts on why this would b?

5 years ago

PrincessEli(sub female) - Aftercare? Maybe he doesn't have much experience with it or doesn't know what he really needs from aftercare. Some people just need to cuddle, other need a call the next day, others just need to talk with their partners about what happened.

5 years ago

Amazoni(dom female){Yes} - This is really helpful. He texted a lot the following day.

5 years ago

Literate Lycan(dom male) - Amazoni: If you feel he is, you're probably correct. Not knowing your sub, it's hard to guess his rationale. It might be he's conditioned by society to think it won't happen to him (as a guy?). He may not realize that when he reaches a very high state with you, from which ultimately he'll return to the normal and possibly lower state (hence drop), it could have emotional effects as well as physical (tiredness). Have the conversation with him and recommend him reach out to other male subs who seem to be open to communications. And then of course be there for him when it happens. Good luck.

5 years ago

Amazoni(dom female){Yes} - Thanks, I’m still going to have the conversation as I know he won’t reach out to others.

5 years ago

Freakontheblock(switch male) - I have been with partners who prefer not to have aftercare. It's still a very in depth conversation that should always be had, and sadly theirs no easy answer. Everyone is different, and that can be both amazing and frustrating. But some of the best parts of sex (in my opinion) is the journey one takes with their partner, to achieve that sense of security and safety. The path isn't always easy, but the end result is glorious. To summarize, I would recommend just to continue talking with him, asking him questions that aren't pressuring, and assure him that his comfort and safety is most important to you. 😊

5 years ago

Freakontheblock(switch male) - My sincere apologies, the above comment was a response to amazoni.
Just got off work and technology is hard 😋

5 years ago

PrincessEli(sub female) - Hahah hey they answer was great eithet way, so no worries.

I agree with you, specially when you mention the journey, this is fun but finally trusting your Dom enough to be vulnerable with that person is one of the best feelings ever.

5 years ago

Amazoni(dom female){Yes} - Thanks, we are on the same page. I think once we work this out, it will bring us closer.

5 years ago

cynicalone(dom male) - Maybe they have trust issue or feel weird saying they need it? Some guys have too much pride to say they need it.

5 years ago

PrincessEli(sub female) - Yes, I think it can be hard for a lot of men. It's hard to let others see the real you

5 years ago

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PrincessEli​(sub female)

Eli

Aftercare, aftercare, aftercare

PrincessEli(sub female)