I'm a ponderer. When I drive, when I shower, when I have some down time.
It's good and bad for me. I process things and when I'm done with it, well...I'm just done with it. That's a bad thing for my little one. It's bad because the thoughts flow and I work it through for me. I often dont - or can't - share my thoughts because they are resolved and finished. It's unfair in this type of relationship. It's unfair because communication is a very key thing. It's unfair because when it's done for me it's gone. Solved. Finished. What's unfair is that although it's done for me, it's not done for my little girl. It's not finished for her. Its unresolved.
This is kind of a two part blog. It's about my struggles and also about this lifestyle.
For everyone involved in this lifestyle, and I mean everyone, the second you think you have your dom, sub, master, slave or any other configuration of dynamic figured out...guess again. You are wrong. You are wrong because people evolve and change. Wants, needs, thoughts, desires. They constantly change. Even for the people reading this now and saying "No. Mine never change!"
Dig deep! Think. I bet there is something you have not experienced. Well, that's change.
So for all of you that "know" your partner inside and out. Guess again. You don't. The best part about that, and I mean really the best part, is that you get to grow together. As a unit. As a couple. As lovers and friends. As Dom and sub. As any combination of who you are. That's truly a beautiful thing.
For me, I work on ways to get my thoughts out. As of this moment, I'm dripping wet, towel half wrapped around me and I'm having trouble typing on my phone because the screen is wet from my forehead dripping water. I had a thought... It needed out now.
I needed to communicate. I needed to share. I evolve and grow. I learn. We all do. Every pace is different, yet we all grow
Option two for me is figuring out how the voice recorder works on my phone. At some point I plan to jump into the tech world.
Go me!!
