.....

It’s a long story but I’ll try and hit the main points. Girl meets boy, girl thinks boy is amazing, girl developed feelings for boy, girl freaked out and pushed boy away. Have you ever met someone and everything just felt natural. Conversation flows naturally and butterflies in your stomach. It feels as if their actually breathing life into you. They give you so much respect and kindness that you wonder how did you ever live without it before. 

I like him more than I should. My issue is with myself. There are so many demons that I wasn’t ready to deal with. I always say I want open communication. But I ended shutting down and refused to talk about anything. 

I’m not ready to confront and accept my situation. I don’t want to let him go but also don’t want to let him in. Worst part is now that I’ve seen how great it can be, I’m completely restless.

fml.