So as some of you know if been working two jobs about 90 hours a week. I started doing this over a year ago. I just kept busy that’s how I was dealing with everything just keep going and it will get better.
well the few people that know me on here and not on here. kept telling me that this wasn’t the way to deal with it but being me I didn’t listen. So last November I got COVID-19. But being me I have to do things really big I added pneumonia to it. I am terrified of doctors so I fought going in. But my roommate got me to go get tested and yup I had it. They gave me meds and I of course said they were wrong ha joke on me I kept getting worse and not getting better. My roommate told me I needed to go to the hospital but I didn’t listen. Then on that frightful morning I called her yes her room is next to mine but I still called her. It was time to go to the hospital. She came in and put my shoes on for me. And managed to get me to the car. She pulled up to the first hospital, and tried to get me out of the car. I wouldn’t get out it was the hospital I have been fighting because of billing issues on another issue. Like any good red blooded woman I put my feet on the door jam and refused to get out. So she drove me to another one. And when she got me there….. well I coded at the door. She had to call my kids and tell them the hospital needed to know if I had a DNR. They didn’t know but since I hadn’t told them it was their choice and do what it took to keep me alive. This all sounds bad right keep reading it’s good I promise. I made it through it. I don’t remember anything except a pink chair and green jello.
But the things after the hospital I do remember. I remember the people being there for me. I remember coworkers bringing me food at my hotel because I couldn’t go home for another week due to the kids at home. I remember them bring colored pencils and adult coloring books. Because they know I don’t like to sit still, or watch TV. I got my first TV my kids said it was time I learn to sit down. Ok I did watch TV once in a while but mostly I thought about something else.
I thought about how blessed I have been my entire life. Yes I have had really bad things that have happened. I have lived a life of hell really. But without really thinking about the bad I just kept going. Yes I’ve done a few bad things but most quiet girls do pull shenanigans. Most times it’s innocent stuff. Like planting flowers in the yard of their ex husband’s or maybe sending flowers to a coworker with the card saying thank you for a good time last night singed by Ramon. Or putting really smelly stuff taped under their desks. See not so bad. But anyway. When I look at all the bad stuff it was off set by something good. Sometimes not but my motto in life just keep going has served me well. I don’t give up easy and I don’t like being told NO. That is such an awful word, I think anyway. I mean just say later or maybe. Just don’t please say NO. Ugggh. I may have issues finding a DOM that doesn’t say no. But I have time.
anyway back on track here. Life has been kicking me down again. but once again it’s slowing my life down. So today I was thinking maybe this is life’s way of saying I need to slow down. Yes it’s a bunch of horse poop. And I don’t like it. But maybe if I just slow down, ok maybe I’m supposed to slow down. Ok I don’t really know how to slow down my feet have been in motion since the day I was born. I wake up, jump up out of bed. yup I am one of those annoying perky people that just go. My roommate has told me I’m to perky and bubbly of a morning person I ask her if I change later in the day and she just responded with no. And drinks more coffee. 🤮 yuck 🤢. What I’m getting at here is life hits us like a wrecking ball. It’s just not me and the best way I know how to deal with it is by just keep going. But I am learning that there is more to my life than work. I want to well…. Oh to heck with it I want to have sex naked for once. I can’t do that if I keep it up. There’s more that I want to do but that’s mine. And someday I have faith it will happen.
also I was thinking about well how all these people that I didn’t really know I’ve learned to love. I’ve made a few great friends on this site and have gone out and had a great time with. I meet my roommate and she’s taught me to stand up for myself more. And yes I’ve taught her, how quiet girls do things.
I don’t really talk to people it’s so bad that after a year at my job my boss asked me if I worked there I told him yes and he didn’t believe me he followed me to my desk. Then asked the coworker next to me if that was really my desk. She didn’t know what to say but thank god she said yes otherwise I’d have gone to the brig. I don’t think I’d do well in the brig. Not at all. he then called my supervisor and said he wanted a list of workers with names and number our desks and put our names by our numbered desk. I’m like most subs I’m learning we are either quiet or we will talk your ear off. Especially if we are nervous. 😂😂😂😊
Now back on track again. If the bad things wouldn’t have happened I wouldn’t have meet the most amazing people that I have. If the bad things wouldn’t have happened I wouldn’t have thrown friends over fences or climbed those fences. I wouldn’t have the memories that I have. And just like with COVID I really don’t remember the bad things.
so in the words of this quiet girl when life hands you lemons just accidentally wipe the juice from your hands in someone’s eyes. Let’s face it that would be funny as heck. Omg I might have to try that one.
well that’s my ranting rave for the night. Could use tips on how to sit still. Feel free to offer advice.
