They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So what are your thousand words when you look into a picture of yourself.
I look at a picture of when the kids were little and our family pictures.
now that I look at them the kids and I look like shells. Body’s with no emotion. Then I look at the self taken ones and I see somewhat happy family. But the thing I noticed is the ones with my ex. We all look like we are hostage slaves at a refugee camp. The kids eyes are hollow. Mine are no different.
but I look at the ones when he is gone and we look happy we are smiling and each picture I can see and remember a time or a place. I am very grateful for being able to be a household engineer.
There are things i would change most definitely. there are moments and memories that I wouldn’t give up at all ever. But they came with a cost. I paid that price I don’t want a refund nor an exchange. It was my choice. Well in my case not to much. “For another day”
But there is a picture of “J” and I on one of our trips. And we did one those fun dress up picture shot things. We had so much fun doing them. But what I see in the picture is so different than what she see’s. I have it on my desk and I see two woman laughing and having a good time. Then I look at myself and I’m disgusted and I hear my ex’s words fill my head. Your fat ugly and stupid. But that is now up to me to change it’s not his fault anymore. It’s my own fault.
now when “J” looks at that picture she sees something different same picture but she sees freedom. She sees that time and moment as freedom. She smiles because she see a smile on her face that she hasn’t seen in herself in a long time.
what do you see in the picture frame.