Online now

Roses are red, Bruises are blue

My journey of love and depravity.
1 day ago. Mon 09 Dec 2019 08:03:41 PM IST

Another wonderful weekend has passed. This was our first weekend completely alone in a while to do as we pleased in a long time. We often have plans with friends or family, responsibilities and obligations, but this weekend we spent just being together and feeding our insatiable appetites.


Because it’s been a while since we’ve had a whole weekend to ourselves, we dabbled in a bit of everything. 

“What am I going to do with you, my kitten?”

“All the things”


Friday night and Saturday were filled with impact play. This is always a favorite of mine. Spankings, floggers, whips, and belt… Yes, please! Sometime on Saturday afternoon, after a few impact play sessions, while prowling into the walk-in closet where he found me in only underwear, Sir said “I don’t know why, but I just feel like hitting you with things this weekend” which of course led to more play. These kinds of statements always make me chuckle. The blasé way we discuss things that the vanilla world would gasp at.


Sir tells me I look beautiful in red ❤️ 


Saturday night we went to Dave & Busters and played lots of games. I’m a horrible loser and Sir was on a winning streak so there was a bit of pouting and a few “hrmph” from me, which for some reason Sir finds adorable (as long as I don’t throw a fit or be mean).

Then we headed to TopGolf for my company’s holiday party. We had a lot of fun and Sir was the perfect date. I’m a terrible golfer but despite my antics after each ridiculous swing, every time I would turn back to look at Sir, his face had “that look”. You know the one; arrogant and sexy as hell, like he plans to devour me and he knows he’ll leave my shattered body quivering and begging for more. I didn’t understand why he had that look when I was being silly and embarrassing, until he whispered to me that he had a perfect view of his kitten’s bum in her tight jeans the whole time I was golfing.


You look so happy” – people when they see me with Sir. “That’s because I am” – me.


Saturday night was filled with all kinds of play. But it ended with wax and knife play. This has recently become a contender for favorite play time activity for me. Sir blindfolds me and lays me down. “Hands above your head and keep them there” he orders. He trusts me to obey and to be still despite the lack on bonds. Seconds feel like minutes as I wait for the first drops of the wax to hit my skin. The first ones are always the hottest as I wait for my body to acclimate. He covers my stomach and thighs first with drops of wax as I moan and giggle (it tickles a bit). Then he pauses to massage my breasts and between my legs, working me into a tizzy. He pinches my nipples sending me over the edge and yet I’m instantly ready for more. It’s only seconds before I feel the wax dripping onto my breasts and inner thighs. Covering the places he left open before. The combined sensation of the light touch on my most sensitive places and burning heat sends me into a fit of breathy giggles.


Sir let me help clean up this time. He began removing the wax from my thighs with his knife. When he was about half way through with my body, I asked if I could try. He granted me this request and watched as I ran the blade down my sternum and over my ribs removing the flakes of wax in my trail. His eyes followed the tip of the blade and he hummed appreciatively at the show I was giving him.  


There’s so much wax” I giggle. “Mmm hmm, because you respond to it so well my kitten” he says as I squeeze my thighs together and my nipples harden.



Sunday we went to a rope dojo. We did lots of things but my favorite part was a game based on intimacy and listening to your bottom. The Top had to perform a certain tie on the bottom, but any time the bottom was particularly enjoying a moment or something the Top was doing, then the bottom would say “pause” and the Top had to pause until the bottom gave a cue that the Top could continue. Basically every time my Sir would get within 10 inches of me, I would say “pause”. Having our faces just inches apart while I’m wrapped in his arms and ropes…. *happy sigh*. I ad libbed by making my cue to continue, “kiss me”. It’s funny how power exchange can look like one thing on the outside but really it’s something else. From the outside it looks like I’m the one calling the shots. But if you looked closer, you’d see that I’m still the one being tied up in ropes and my “pauses” are all based on my total focus on him and observing his reactions. I “pause” when I see the ghost of a smirk, a flash of love or desire in his eyes, a slight parting of his lips. The command may be falling off my tongue but it’s still him who leads the scene and me who eagerly follows.  



As always, I’m forced to watch him go. To feel the string that connects my heart to his tug and strain with the distance. He will be back, I know, but for now I must wait.



1 week ago. Wed 27 Nov 2019 12:33:51 AM IST

I sit here at my keyboard with the intent of writing all about the spoils of my birthday weekend and yet the words do not come. Sometimes when I blog the words flow through my mind faster than my fingers can type, and other times I just sit and stare at the blinking cursor for several minutes until I just close the screen and move on to something else.


Today I’m going to try to push through that block. My Sir, like most Doms, is the type to expect follow-through from his sub. Sunday night I mentioned that I planned to write a blog post the following day. But yesterday I just couldn’t find the inspiration to share and so I wrote Sir a letter instead. Today I received a text that simply said “I didn’t see a post from my kitten yesterday” followed by the pondering face emoji. Welp, we all know what that means. So here I sit…. *blinking cursor*


I guess I’ll just start at the beginning.


Sir to kitten Thur, Nov 21 12:57PM

Today we celebrate my kitten’s birthday and I am so excited to be a part of her life. I am a very lucky man and am very grateful for you. I know you started rolling your eyes at me much earlier in the day but you are my princess this weekend and I cannot wait to treat you as such! Hurry up and come to me my love. All the pets, cuddles, and spoils are waiting for you! 



This was my travel weekend (we swap every weekend). Typically we fly in on Friday night and out on Sunday night, but this week I flew in on Thursday night instead (since that was my actual birthday). When we got back to Sir’s house, he had my gift waiting beside our bed. It was a beautifully crafted collar for little me. We have many day collars and my submissive/slave collar, but this was my first little collar. “Happy Birthday, my Belle,” he said as he snapped it closed and placed a kiss to my lips. *swoon*



We’d both taken Friday off of work and so we got to spend an extra day together. Friday was a relaxed and rainy day. We went to a few stores to buy a list of random things that Sir was being very mysterious about it. We ate a late lunch and Friday we played with ropes. We hadn’t been able to do any suspension in about a month or so and Sir’s palms were getting tingly. So we decided to do a rope session. We made a plan, it didn’t go accordingly, but we agreed not to leave the room until Sir had his kitten hanging in ropes.


kitten to Sir Mon, Nov 25 11:52AM

Friday night ropes was nice too. I know you got frustrated but that’s why I’m glad we did it. It’s important to each of us as individuals and as a couple to work through the hard times. We faced a tense and frustrating situation that went a little outside of our plan, and all it did was bring us closer. We comforted each other instead of taking it out on each other, and we kept going until we got a win. Sometimes it’s the less than sweet moments that are the defining ones.




Saturday was some more mystery supply shopping and then a littles play date that Sir had arranged. My little friend knew we were coming over but our date activities were a surprise to her too. Her husband and Sir had conspired together. Sir finally revealed what our mystery supply shopping was for. We got to make bath bombs and playdough! *squee!* Both activities were really fun but I think I need more bath bomb making practice; one set was cracking and brittle and the other set kept expanding and never really dried up (advice for future bath bomb making welcome in the comments below). The playdough turned out perfectly though. Nice and squishy and doughy and perfect.


But the fun was not over! Sir led us on a surprise trip to Build-A-Bear! I have always wanted to go there. I had even picked out a stuffie and named her about a year ago when I saw her online. I was so excited to see that she was still there. Sir said that I could pick out anything I wanted for her so she got a cute outfit and a backpack carrier too.


Her name is Rainy <3


Saturday night was snuggles, and sweets, and Green Eggs and Ham on Netflix.



Now sprinkle in about 80-90 orgasms over the 72 hours (nope, not exaggerating), a couple naps, and a sweet airport goodbye and that was the sum of a beautiful birthday weekend.


In summary, my Sir is the best. 


4 weeks ago. Mon 11 Nov 2019 04:31:29 AM IST

Even the most loving and committed relationships have moments of friction. Sir and I have a wonderful and beautiful dynamic. We both approach our roles with the other person’s needs and wants in mind. We love aggressively, we’re passionate and generous towards each other, we’re both willing to compromise and we make sure that never a day goes by that we haven’t made sure to express our adoration and appreciation of the other. His type of Dominance fulfills each of my needs and my type of submission is what fulfills his. We’ve worked really really hard and intentionally to build a solid D/s dynamic that honors power exchange and servitude but doesn’t compromise our ability to love and be romantic, and we continue to put in that effort each day.

Because we’re human and we aren’t mind readers and we have a ton of responsibilities and outside stresses, there are the occasional moments of friction. Being so in tune with each other, these moments are especially difficult because we both desperately want the other person to feel content and appreciated and secure all of the time. When one of us tenses up, pulls away, or starts to get caught in their own head, we each feel it - and we struggle to try and fix it. So any tiny blip in our typical bubble of bliss hits us each pretty hard.

But at the end of the hard days, I go to bed feeling closer to him than ever. I feel his ownership and the promise of forever more intensely when we’ve had a bumpy day than I normally do on the “perfect” days. It’s easy to believe in forever when everything is blissful and much harder when there’s tension. There is no better feeling than being so secure in your relationship that you know with absolute certainty that whatever happens, whatever has been said or left unsaid that day, changes nothing in regards to our love and commitment. When we wake up in the morning, we’ll still be madly in love, I’ll still belong to him, and neither of us will harvest any bad feelings. That’s the foundation that we’ve built together. The structure is so stable and strong that not even a hurricane could blow it over.


“Life sure can try to put love thought it

But we built this right

So nothing’s ever gonna move it


When the bones are good,

The rest don’t matter.

Yeah the paint could peel, the glass could shatter.

Let it rain, cause you and I remain the same.


When there ain’t a crack in the foundation,

Baby I know any storm we’re facing

Will blow right over while we stay good.

The house don’t fall when my bones are good.”




1 month ago. Thu 07 Nov 2019 10:22:50 PM IST

Sir and I have had to share the past 3 weekends with other people. They’ve been wonderful times, but we haven’t had any days alone. We still have two more busy weekends to get through before we have another coveted M/s weekend to submerge in our dynamic without interference. 

Luckily, we still have our nights alone to play. I’m very much looking forward to tomorrow night, Sir. I need you.







1 month ago. Wed 06 Nov 2019 10:10:14 PM IST

I strain to listen, hoping to catch the sound of a footstep, the creak of a door, the ruffle of material, anything to clue me into what my Sir is up to. The silky material of Sir’s tie covers my eyes in the already dim room. My cheek is pressed into the cotton sheets of our bed, my arms stretch out above my head in the prayer position, my legs beneath me with my knees to my chest.  I’d be tempted to fidget and get more comfortable if the coarse ropes weren’t wrapped so tightly around me holding my body and limbs into place.  


I start to feel the sweat building between the bends of my legs and my shoulders strain to keep my arms outstretched. The seconds feel like minutes and the minutes feel like hours. Just when I think I may go insane from the waiting, I hear it; Sir’s deep voice from the doorway. “Good girl, kitten. You look so lovely all tied up for me, waiting so very patiently.” My aches and discomforts are instantly replaced with a feeling of warmth and pride. I don’t have to reply, Sir can sense my smile.


I hear his footsteps on the carpet as he enters the room, coming closer to where he left me several minutes before. When I hear him stop just inches behind me, he hums in appreciation of the view I’m presenting him. I lay perfectly still and silent even though my brain is screaming, “Touch me! Please, Sir, I need to feel you.” I can feel my sex clench in anticipation of whatever is to come. “Is my kitten ready to play?” he asks, already knowing the answer. “Yes, Sir” my reply comes out sounding eager and hungry. “Then what shall I do with my pet tonight?” I know the question is rhetorical and so I wait with both dread and excitement for the answer that will follow.


It’s only moments before I hear the sound I covet; the metallic jingle of a buckle and the whisp of the leather being pulled from Sir’s belt loops. I attempt to raise my ass higher in the air but the only thing I manage to do is dig the ropes tighter into my thighs. I feel the soft tickle of leather as Sir lightly glides the belt up and down the curve of my spine causing goose bumps to break out across my skin.


“Who’s are you, kitten?” he asks.

“Yours, Sir”

*WHACK* The belt comes down hard on my ass, leaving a line of fire in its wake.


“And what are you?”

“Your pet”



“And what else?”

“Your slut”




“Your play thing”

*WHACK WHACK WHACK* Each strike harder than the last. I bury my face into the sheets to stifle my moans and whimpers.


“Your love”



“Your princess”



“Your kitten”

*WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK* Strike after strike, without even a breath between, until the red stripes cover every inch of exposed skin.


The belt falls to the side of the bed as one of Sir’s hands works its way into my hair pulling my head back painfully and the other finds my cunt. He chuckles in my ear, almost sympathetically at how predictable I am, how easy it is for him to turn me into a whimpering, needy mess. “I love my little belt whore. Always so wet for me. Such a good girl.” I hum and purr as I push my cunt into his hand silently begging him not to stop. He slides his thumb inside me and works my clit with his index finger. It doesn’t take longer before I’m sprinting towards the edge and just before I fall over I beg “May I cum please, Sir?!”


The hand in my hair jerks my head back farther so his lips brush against my ear as he whispers, “Cum for me, kitten,” just as lightning flashes, the world fades away, and everything goes silent and black.



1 month ago. Mon 04 Nov 2019 07:27:04 PM IST

Under “limits” on my profile it says “With the right owner, you don’t need any. I trust him completely.”


What does that mean? Does it mean that Sir can do anything and everything to me, without limitation, and I won’t end our dynamic?


No. It means that he has taken the time to get to know me. To really know me; inside and out; mind, body, and soul. He’s talked to me about my likes and dislikes, he watches my body’s responses and physical reactions closely, and he respects the sanctity of a safe word – always reminding me that it’s there to be used freely at any time. I don’t need to give him a list of things I won’t allow or that I’m not agreeable to trying. I trust that he will take what he’s learned from me and about me and use that knowledge to bring us both pleasure. Sometimes he pushes me outside of my comfort zone, but only when he knows that when I get to the other side of that barrier, I’ll be grateful that he took me there.


So being without limits, for me, doesn’t mean that I’d willingly walk over the edge of a cliff or jump in front of a bus. It doesn’t mean that I’d stand by timidly while I was cheated on, lied to, and abused. It doesn’t mean that I’m naive enough to think I’ve tried every kinky thing and have decided that I like it all. It simply means that I am owned by a Dominant who I know wants only to bring me to new heights, to break me down in ways that he is fully confident that he can put me back to together. It means that I trust him and his instincts more than I trust my own.




1 month ago. Thu 31 Oct 2019 09:36:17 PM IST

A picture is worth a thousand words they say. So to recap the past two weeks...

A gift from my staff for Boss’s Day 🌺🌹


Lady Gaga concert in Vegas 🎤

Dinner at Hell’s Kitchen 🍽


My first self tie 🙈


Newest addition to my stuffie family; Rex 🦖


All ready for my Netflix date with Sir 🧸



1 month ago. Wed 23 Oct 2019 07:09:32 AM IDT

I’m in Las Vegas for the first time this week for a conference. I get to stay at a very large, beautiful, and well known hotel on the strip. I spend my days in conference rooms listening to other pant suits talk about things that wouldn’t interest most people, but my evenings and nights are free to roam about and explore. It’s been amazing and mouth dropping but it makes me miss my Sir desperately. I can’t help but think about how different each experience would be if he were here with me. 

Yesterday I went shopping in the mall in Caesars, this evening I had drinks at the Omnia, and in just a few minutes I’m going to head down to the casino and find myself at spot at one of the slot machines.


The food has been amazing. I’ve stuffed myself at a Vegas buffet, indulged in gourmet chocolates, splurged on room service, went to Carlos’s (Cake Boss), and more. Thursday my coworkers and I have reservations at Hells Kitchen and I have my eyes set on some crepes at a cafe for breakfast tomorrow.

Drinks are everywhere. Mimosas in the morning, cocktails with lunch, open bars and endless drinks in the casinos. There were people ordering martinis this morning at 6:30am while I was ordering a coffee. It’s crazy.

The outfits range from t-shirts and jeans to bikinis to tuxes and evening gowns to lingerie. I’ve seen couples of all ages, shapes, colors, and sizes. I often find myself staring at some couples and imagining what their dynamic is like. It’s a little game I like to play with myself. 

I’m about to head down to the casino so wish me luck! 


1 month ago. Mon 21 Oct 2019 05:40:20 AM IDT


"In a Relationship,"





"It's Complicated."


In the vanilla world, social media and dating apps are loaded with options to define your relationship status. Here in the kink world, the options are even more endless. Collared, training, online-only, D/s, M/s, 24/7, only in the bedroom, sadomasochistic, domestic, brat, switch, DDlg, primal, sensual, monogamous, polygamous, polyamorous, pansexual, and the list goes on and on and on. So often I get asked what type of dynamic Sir and I have. I always hesitate because, well, because "it's complicated". 

Sir and I are 24/7, but we live in different states. We're long-distance, but we see each other every single weekend. We're D/s but our scenes tend to lean towards M/s roles. Our unstructured playtime is very primal, but we don't have primal personalities or a calling to run in the wild. I have little tendencies and sometimes will fall headfirst into little space, but Sir isn't a Daddy Dom - even though he does love my little side. I'm collared but our training is more of the 'on the job' kind rather than the prerequisite kind. Our play is sadomasochistic but also very sensual. See what I mean; complicated.


This weekend Sir took this picture during one of our scenes. He felt like the moment showed a large part of our dynamic in one snap of the camera.

Rope bondage, belt, stuffies, candlelight... 

What you don't see pictured here are the red marks and stripes all over my bum, the mascara streaks on the white sheets... You don't see Sir's hands in my hair pulling my head back painfully nor can you hear his deep lulling voice telling me how good I did. 

Was this scene a punishment or a reward?

It's complicated.


1 month ago. Sat 19 Oct 2019 09:35:29 PM IDT

Another perfect weekend with my Sir. I’ve missed him terribly this week. A cancelled flight tried to stop him, but he made it to me anyway.