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Roses are red, Bruises are blue

My journey of love and depravity.
3 months ago. May 5, 2020, 10:06 PM

Hello Cage Family! I'm sorry I've been gone so long! But I promise that I have the very best excuse....


SIR AND I ARE FINALLY LIVING TOGETHER!!


After 14 months, and all of this travel, we are finally able to go to bed together every night and wake up together every morning.



We originally planned for him to move down a week or so later than he did, but then the pandemic hit the U.S. and some states started issuing Stay at Home Orders, so he threw everything he could in his truck and drove down to Florida so he could make it to me before they closed our borders. 


His new job is fully remote so he works from home and shortly after his arrival my job allowed me to work from home for a month, so we spent all of April living in 24/7 D/s bliss. The transition from only weekends together to now being together every day, has been pretty flawless. We’re still learning how to deal with new situations and circumstances, creating daily routines and rituals that we couldn’t properly develop in a long distance relationship, and learning the depth and boundaries of our power exchange when it comes to sharing a living space and both working full time jobs. But any anticipated friction with the learning curve hasn't really been an issue. Both of our expectations seem to have been met and our desire and need for each other continues to grow.


So, what have we been doing with all of this time together? Ropes, ropes, and more ropes! We - like everyone else - got tired of being cooped up in the house and so we decided to maintain our social distancing by going out exploring in nature. I also got an aerial swing stand for Sir for his birthday, so we’re able to do suspensions at home. It’s been a lot of fun and these past couple of months have allowed us to really develop our Rigger and bunny roles. Sir’s skill set has flourished, allowing us to do much more dimensional and complex scenes, and my trust in him and my own progress in learning and understanding what is good/normal rope pain versus what is bad/unsafe rope pain has allowed us to test our limits and see what beautiful and creative poses we can create. 




 

 

 




 

 

Another focus in the past month has been the DDlg side of our dynamic. Even though it was me who brought DDlg to the relationship, it has been him who has really cultivated it and made it into a part of our daily routines in a way that doesn’t deter from the D/s power exchange - but still gives me a safe place and time to be little and him an area in the dynamic to express his Service Top nature. We’ve added pacis and sippy cups to our “toy collection” and onesies have become pretty common evening attire for me. We’ve also created a post-shower routine in which he sits on the bed while I finish drying off and putting on my lotion, and then I bring him my hairbrush and detangler and sit at his feet while he combs my hair out. It’s one of my most favorite moments of the day. 

 

 



Another thing we’ve started doing is reading to each other. We have a grown up book and a little book that we’re simultaneously reading. In the afternoons or early evenings, I’ll read a chapter aloud to him from our grown up book, and then at bedtime he’ll read me a chapter from our little book. Right now our grown up book is Selling Water by the River, an interesting and thought provoking book by a Christian pastor who shines a light on the ways that organized religion often inhibits rather and cultivates a meaningful relationship with the Creator. And our little book is Charlotte's Web, a classic.


I love this time spent reading. His voice is so deep and smooth and it calms my soul and warms my heart. And I also enjoy the time I spend reading aloud to him. To anyone who isn’t a little, or a submissive, this may seem very odd - but I get a feeling of pride when I read out loud to him. Like, “hey look at me, see what a good reader I am?” and although I’m an educated and intelligent woman (by IQ standards), I still enjoy when I stumble on an uncommon word and Sir asks me to spell it and then he helps me pronounce it. He’s Daddy Dom-ing me in those moments and he doesn’t even know it.


Now that I’m back in the office for work, and Sir and I have pretty set schedules, I’ll begin blogging more often again. While I was “away”, I was still logging in quite regularly to check on my favorite bloggers and peruse the forums. But I’ve missed socializing with you all and so I’m happy to be able to share with you all the good news of our new living arrangements. 


I hope everyone is healthy and safe during this scary time!


Xoxo


=^.^=

4 months ago. Mar 19, 2020, 7:05 PM

I should probably make this a forum post but frankly I’d prefer some thoughtful responses and then to have this topic disappear into the interwebs rather than be hashed out for months to come.

 

Looking for feedback from both D/M and s types.

In a monogamous 24/7 D/s relationship, in which a sub is collared - completely owned, who holds primary responsibility for the sub’s feelings of jealousy/insecurity?

Is it the sub? We’re supposed to completely trust our Doms, right? and it’s typically our job to endure feelings of discomfort - usually physical, but does that also apply to emotional discomfort?

Is it the Dom? Afterall, he/she now owns this other person and is responsible for their wellbeing in every capacity.

I guess what I’m asking is - if the sub is feeling jealous and insecure, should she speak up or just trust her owner and suck it up? If she does speak up - is the Dom responsible for more than just reassuring her or should he have to change the situation that’s causing the negative feelings so it doesn’t continue to fester?

I hope my question doesn’t have an implied intended answer- I definitely don’t mean it to. I’m genuinely trying to figure out the balance of responsibilities when it comes to jealousy. And I’m not referring to a situation in which there was a momentary flash of seeing green. I’m referring to a long term situation.


All replies welcome. 

=^.^=

5 months ago. Mar 6, 2020, 5:23 PM

Hello lovelies! I’m sorry I haven’t blogged in a few weeks.

 

First I got to spend 10 whole days with Sir, TEN DAYS, and we try not to do a lot of internet and social media stuff when we’re together. We try to focus on real life and be in the present when we’re together.

 

Then during the week we decided to give ourselves more of an internet presence on a few other platforms in hopes of making local kink friends. I only allot myself a certain amount of time per day for staring at my cell phone or laptop and so this blog got a little neglected.

 

But I’m here now and I’m excited to share a bit of our lives with you. 

Our ten days together was AMAZING. We somehow managed to squeeze in all kinds of play; wax, knife play, clothespins, marker play, rope (ground and suspension), pet play, little time, and more. It was glorious. I was able to bask in uninterrupted kinky love for almost two weeks. It was a little glimpse of what it’ll be like when we live together and man I’ve never wanted that more.

 

 




Marker play was fun. The first day Sir marked me in all black - “Slut” “Sir’s pet” “Mine” “Sir’s toy” “Cum here” just to name a few.

The next day Sir let little me mark him. I used all of the rainbow colors - “Handsome” “Smart” “Funny” “Loyal” etc. It was a picture perfect example of our dynamic. Haha

 

 

Pet play was also a lot of fun! We’ve been working with plugs for a bit now, with Sir trying to work me up to the size that came with my tail. I finally got to wear my tail for him and parade around like the sassy happy kitty I am.

 

We've been spending quite a bit of time at The Woodshed in Orlando. They have a nice rope community that has been very welcoming to us. We’ve been to some dojo’s where we’ve learned many new things and we’ve gotten to have open play time to do suspensions. It’s been a lot of fun. We actually plan to go back tonight!

 

I went to my very first community event without Sir this week. It was a rope class in someone’s residence (large crowd, prior vetting, nothing creepy or sexual). I ended up having a great time but going without Sir was completely outside of my comfort zone. But truly that’s a large part of the reason that I wanted to go. I have serious social anxiety and pushing my own limits is just as important as Sir broadening them. I want to grow and develop individually and in the lifestyle. So I’m working on that. 

Today is Sir’s birthday! I have a fun birthday weekend planned for us. Sir only knows tiny bits so I’m going to wait until next week to blog about it all.

 

Thank you all for being patient with me and following me on this life journey! 

Xoxo

=^.^=

5 months ago. Feb 28, 2020, 6:29 AM

5 months ago. Feb 20, 2020, 9:50 PM

Rules, protocols, and rituals… all submissives have them in some form or fashion. Whether they’re written, spoken, or just generally understood, there’s an expectation that we act a certain way to please our Doms. And in turn, we have our own expectations of what we expect from them.

 

For Sir and I, this list of “expectations” (for lack of a better all-encompassing word) has grown and evolved over the past year. Some rituals were formed by natural habitual behavior. Some protocols were clearly and openly discussed. Some rules were just simply implied. Some we agreed to on day one, but most have come up as we’ve learned more about our likes, dislikes, and needs.

 

When the rules are black and white, it’s easy to know when they’ve been broken and to both expect that there will be a discussion and punishment of sorts. But when expectations are only implied, and the submissive fails to meet those expectations, it leaves the Dom in a place of questioning “Did she know better? Should she have known better? Should I punish her? Should I even mention it to her at all?” And when it’s clear that he is displeased, it leaves the sub questioning, “Was I wrong for doing that? If I knew I wasn’t supposed to, I wouldn’t have. But should I have known better anyways? If he didn’t tell me not to act this way, is it just my general personality that he finds displeasing?” And this line of thinking can send you both on a downward spiral.

 

While this is not a very common occurrence, this is something that Sir and I have dealt with on occasion. For example, there have been times when I failed to do something that I normally do but have never been told that I must do. So my failure to do the thing was upsetting to Sir (since I normally do it), and his obvious displeasure was upsetting to me (since he’d never told me I had to do it).

 

This equation of expectations becomes even more complicated when your relationship balances M/s, DDlg, Owner/pet and more. While some of the rules overlap, many of the expectations for each of these roles is different.

 

Sir and I have talked in the past few weeks about how he can more clearly set the tone for what type of mood he’s in (Master, Daddy, lover, etc.) and in turn, I can come to a better understanding of what my role is in the moment (slave, little, pet, etc.)

 

After thinking about this for a few weeks, I decided to compile a list for Sir. It encompasses the agreements we’ve come to over the past year, and the expectations we’ve discussed.

 

This is not a list of rules. It’s not a contract. It’s not going to be signed and used to hang over the other person’s head. This is just something in black and white that we can refer back to for clarification. And while it’s already exactly 50 line items, it’s really just a starting point. Something for us to mold over time. While the list isn’t expected to significantly grow in length, it is expected to evolve as our relationship does.

 

Sir was very pleased with my list. Both he and I were surprised at how many agreements we’ve come to over the past year. Our relationship typically flows so smoothly that we don’t even recognize that a lot of what we do day to day is part of a protocol or ritual that we’ve created. He is allowing me to share it with you all as a behind the scenes in insight to our relationship.

 

 

1.    kitten will not remove her wrist collar at any time.

2.    kitten will wear a neck collar of her choosing, unless specified by Sir, at all times.

3.    kitten must always address Sir as “Sir” when speaking to him or to someone in the kink community. Sir agrees to refer to kitten as “kitten” in the same respect.

4.    Sir may have complete access to kitten’s body at any and all times and locations. 

5.    If kitten doesn’t say “cherry,” Sir will ignore any and all other “safe words” that kitten may recklessly say.

6.    If kitten says “cherry” all play will immediately cease and all binds will be removed.

7.    kitten may never cum without Sir’s permission.

8.    kitten will take her birth control as prescribed. 

9.    When Sir is home and the minis are not, kitten must sleep in the nude. Sir may make exceptions. 

10. kitten must be in bed by 11PM from Sunday - Thursday nights unless she is out with Sir or he gives his permission for her to stay up late. If she is feeling little, she may ask Sir to read her a bedtime story.

11. kitten will sit or walk to Sir’s right at all times when possible. Sir may make exceptions.

12. When kitten joins Sir who is already sitting on the couch, she will assume her proper position is on the floor beside him unless he indicates otherwise. She may ask permission to sit on the couch, even if he has not already indicated it. Permission may or may not be granted. 

13. kitten must hold Sir’s hand when they are walking in any area where cars may pass, or when walking in large crowds.

14. kitten must wait for Sir to open her car door when getting in or out of a vehicle.

15. In restaurants, kitten will tell Sir her meal preferences, if any, and Sir will consider her requests and order for both of them. 

16. If kitten wants to pay for something while with Sir, she must ask permission first. She will not ask for permission in front of others.

17. If kitten wants to purchase something kink related (besides lingerie or little gear) she must ask Sir’s permission first.

18. kitten may not self-harm without prior permission from Sir.

19. kitten must never speak poorly of herself to Sir.

20. Swear words are not banned but should be limited. kitten should never swear at Sir and Sir will not swear at kitten in anger or frustration.

21. Neither kitten nor Sir will use yelling as a way to communicate when disagreements arise.

22. Sir will treat kitten’s stuffies like friends and never hurt them to punish her.

23. Sir agrees to never lick kitten’s face.

24. When Sir is away for more than 48 hours, kitten must write a blog post or journal entry, color or paint Sir a picture, or make him a craft or treat.

25. kitten should never sleep alone. If Sir is not home, she must sleep with at least one stuffie.

26. kitten must send Sir a picture of herself if she wears any kink or little gear while he is away.

27. kitten may not touch Sir’s ropes when she is alone without permission.

28. When kitten is feeling little, she will not tie her own shoes or put on her own seatbelt; she will ask Sir to do it. When Sir is in Daddy space, he will help kitten tie or put on her shoes and buckle kitten’s seatbelt to let her know he is in Daddy mode.

29. When Sir is in Daddy space he will call kitten his “little kitten,” “little one,” “tiny kitten,” or some equivalent.

30. During Daddy and little time, kitten is permitted to speak freely without fear of maintaining protocol, with the exception that she must always use honorifics and wear her collar. 

31. Sir agrees that any punishments necessary during Daddy and little time will be commensurate to punishing a child so as not to harm kitten’s ability to maintain her little space and safety in the freedom to be “little”. 

32. When kitten wakes before Sir, she will make him a cup of coffee.

33. kitten will not shower alone when Sir is home without his permission. Permission will only be granted during the times of exception, not as a regular practice. 

34. When Sir requests that kitten prepare the shower, she will undress, start the shower water, turn on the light and fan, and kneel by the shower door until Sir is ready.

35. During showers, Sir will wash kitten’s body and she will wash Sir’s. kitten is not permitted to wash her own body in Sir’s presence, unless specifically directed to.

36. kitten will have primary responsibility for cooking meals eaten at home. Sir may choose to cook on occasion when it pleases him. Meals will be eaten at the table together unless otherwise stated by Sir. When presenting a plated meal, kitten will prepare and serve Sir’s plate before her own. 

37. kitten will have primary responsibility for maintaining a clean home. Sir may choose to assist in household chores when it pleases him. The weekly minimum requirements for maintaining the home are vacuuming, sweeping, and cleaning the bathrooms. The daily minimum requirements are loading and/or unloading the dishwasher (to keep dirty dishes out of the sink), checking the cat’s litter box to make sure it is in acceptable condition, doing an evening “pick up” of the main living areas, wiping down kitchen counters after meals, and keeping dirty laundry to a minimum. 

38. kitten will begin each play session in a kneeling position on the floor or bed, at various states of attention depending on tone, unless specifically instructed otherwise. 

39. If kitten’s hands are free, she may touch Sir and seek his affection at any time.

40. Neither Sir or kitten will go to bed feeling unloved. They will tell the other how they feel because affirmations are important. 

41. kitten must always tell Sir “good night” in person or text before going to sleep (if she fails to do so, her intent will be taken into consideration due to her struggles with insomnia).

42. kitten will not shave her cunt unless instructed to by Sir.

43. kitten will not cut her hair shorter than Sir’s agreed upon length.

44. kitten will maintain bi-weekly nail appointments and always ask Sir’s color preference prior to getting her nails done.

45. When Sir is in a M/s headspace he will call kitten his “slave” or some equivalent.

46. During M/s play, kitten will overuse honorifics, have superb manners, comply with all of Sir’s requests and demands without hesitation, and request permission before leaving his side for any reason.

47. kitten may never remove rope from her body unless there is an emergency of some sort. She must ask Sir to remove it or remind him if he has forgotten a remaining tie.

48. kitten may never bottom for another rope Top without Sir’s explicit consent, and Sir agrees not to tie with another rope bottom without notifying kitten first and confirming that she is comfortable with the arrangement. 

49. When Sir is in the mood for pet play, he will call kitten his “pet” and ask her to get her ears and/or tail.

50. When wearing her ears and/or tail, kitten may only crawl unless permitted otherwise.

 

 

=^.^=

5 months ago. Feb 18, 2020, 11:19 PM

“KITTEN! BREAKFAST!” Sir’s voice booms through the house. “Time to get up now, kitten!” I stretch atop the pillowy pet bed laid out for me on the floor. Sir and I have been playing - again. I smile to myself as I stretch my arms above my head and let out a contended sigh.

 

“Kitten!” he calls again.

 

I pull myself up onto my hands and knees and stretch once more, like the lazy, spoiled kitten I am. The fluffy white tail inserted in my behind shifts, sending a ripple of pleasure up my spine. I take a quick glance around the brightly lit room; the sunlight shining through the window, casting highlights and shadows across our play space. The walls are decorated with whips and canes, a padded whipping bench sits in the corner, metal rings dangle from various points in the ceiling where Sir like to hang me from ropes, a leather chest full of toys sit along one wall, and there’s one long table for massages… and torture. Oh, and there’s my fluffy white pet bed on the floor. He loves watching me sit there, sleep there, beg there. I love it too.

 

I crawl out of the room and down the hallway towards the kitchen. Sometimes I still can’t believe that this is my life. Truth be told, I never imagined I’d be involved in a 24/7 BDSM lifestyle relationship where I crawled around on the floor half the time. But hey, YOLO, right?

 

The tag on my collar jingles as I reach the kitchen entrance to where Sir is standing by the stove. I may be the one on my hands and knees, but he’s the one doing the cooking. I kneel right beside him. “It’s about time, kitten.” He pets my head and continues to cook. I can’t exactly see from my vantage point on the floor, but it smells like pancakes.

 

What I can see is Sir’s beautiful body, shirtless and completely drool worthy. Like every other time, just the sight of him makes me quiver with need.  

 

“Go to the table. I’ll be there in a minute,” he orders, grabbing a plate from the cabinet. I sit for a second, not obeying immediately as he expects. “Is there a problem, kitten?” Sir asks with a hint of menace. I may not call him Master but, for all intents and purposes, he is. And ‘Master’ does not like it when I’m disobedient. “No, Sir,” I drawl, “I was just admiring the view.” He smirks. “I said get.” He waves a dismissive hand and his eyes flash and my stomach muscles clench. “Yes, Sir.” I place my hands on the cool tile floor and crawl out of the kitchen and into the dining area.

 

I kneel on the pillow next to the table. Most mornings, I sit in a chair like a civilized human being, but today, we’re playing. And it’s so much fun when we play. I always wear a collar, whether it’s an inconspicuous day collar, my slave collar, or a pet play collar. This morning, I woke up with Sir’s head between my legs and the white and pink kitten collar around my throat.

 

I notice the table already has fresh fruit, coffee and orange juice, and one place setting. Sir appears with a plate of pancakes and a bottle of syrup. I can almost guarantee this is going to get messy. He loves to get me dirty and then clean me up with his tongue. I shiver internally at just the thought. Sir places the plate and syrup down then sits in the chair directly in front of me. He’s angled it so he can access both the table and me.

 

“Closer.” He yanks on my collar wedging me between his legs. “Much better.” He slides his hand down my chest and massages one of my breasts. I close my eyes and inhale as sensations start to brew from the rough way he kneads and pulls on my nipple.

 

“Are you going to behave while I feed you?” he asks as he pulls away and begins to put food on his plate. Berries, a pancake, and a drizzle of syrup. “I can’t make any promises,” I purr. He pauses as he cuts the pancake.

 

“You know the more you misbehave the more severe the punishment?”

“I know.” This isn’t my first rodeo.

“But you’re willing to push me anyway?” He picks up a small triangle from his plate and feeds it to me.

I nod as I chew, my heated gaze mirroring his.

 

He feeds me another piece of pancake. I take it from his hand, sucking the syrup off his fingers as seductively as I can. I watch as he picks up one of the berries and places it in front of me. I open my mouth, but he pulls it back. Shaking his head, he slowly runs the blood red fruit along my lips like he’s applying lip gloss. “Lick,” he orders me. I run my tongue over the sweet juice coating my lips. “I wanted to take this slow. I wanted to savor you this morning. Build you up and break you down until you were begging . . .” “I’ll still beg,” I hastily interrupt him.

 

“You just love being naughty.” He grabs my chin. “I never gave you permission to speak.”

I smile wickedly. “I don’t need permission to speak.”

“Oh, no? What do you need permission for?”

“To cum.”

“And is that what you want? To cum?”

“Yes, Sir.”

He leans in and kisses me, a ravishing assault that warns me about what’s to come. By the time Sir pulls away, my lips are throbbing and so is my clit. I need him to touch me, sate me, but I know that’s not in the plans for a very long while. “Naughty kittens don’t get to cum.” His voice vibrates with authority. I can’t help the breathy plea of desperation that falls from my lips, “please Sir, I need you,” and my hand reaches out and runs up his thigh.

 

Breathing heavily, he hauls me off the floor and lays me out on the tabletop. “Open,” he orders, lifting my legs so my ass and tail are hanging just off the edge of the table. My thighs are wide, and I’m on display. I know I’m glistening in the morning light; I’ve never been good at controlling my arousal, especially when my Sir’s tongue is mere inches away from me.

 

“Sir,” I whimper, wanting to clench my thighs as my pussy tingles. “Yes, kitten?” He hovers over my clit as close as humanly possible but never touches it. The only thing I can feel is the warm caress of his breath. “You want my tongue on you?” he asks, a hair away from my wide-open cunt. “Yes,” I rasp. “Yes, what?” “Yes, please.” I twitch. “I don’t think that’s the right answer.” “Yes, Sir,” I correct myself. My excitement is getting the better of me as he strokes my tail, teasing me with the plug lodged deeply in my ass. Sir drapes my legs over his shoulders then reaches for the syrup. I knew this was going to get messy.

 

“You had your breakfast. Now, it’s time for mine.” He squeezes the bottle and coats my pussy with the sticky substance. It’s lukewarm and tickles as it drips down my heated pink flesh. “Cum and I’ll spank you,” he says as he puts his mouth on me and begins to lick. My muscles immediately spasm. “Oh, shit!” I cry out as he laps up every last drop of syrup while simultaneously fucking me with his fingers and slightly tugging on the plug. It takes every ounce of will and endurance I have not to cum. I want to. Fuck, I need to. “Sir!” I scream as I near the edge, holding back the inevitable. He licks harder and pumps the plug faster until he feels my cunt begin to quiver and immediately, without warning, he stops, and I collapse on the table, panting heavily. A sad desperate whine escapes me. He lifts his head and looks up at me over my heaving chest, his eyes a sharp, piercing in the morning light, bold and dominant. Just like my ‘Master.’

 

“Clean up breakfast then come to the play room,” he orders resolutely.

“Yes, Sir,” I answer obediently but with a lingering pout in my voice. With that he steps away, his erection standing tall and proud, and disappears down the hallway. This is going to be a long day. 

 

(Story concept from an M Never novel and rewritten to be applicable to myself and Sir.) 

6 months ago. Feb 14, 2020, 3:20 PM

Sir will be here today and is staying for 10 whole days! I’m a very excited little kitten slave. We have lots of things planned but most importantly...

 

”I’m going to tie you up, I’m going to touch you all over and drag you around, I’m going to kiss you, bite you, and make you cum.” - Sir to kitten

6 months ago. Feb 6, 2020, 3:22 AM

”A Master is not someone who merely revels in the benefits that he reaps from the power and control that he wields over his sub. A Master is not just an automaton who emotionally doles out orders and watches with amusement as his minions perform his bidding. A Master is not a person who only relishes the benefits that his superior status entitles him.

Certainly all of these characteristics could and often do exist within a Master. He may be demanding and at times selfish. He may genuinely enjoy and even be aroused by the power that he has over a sub. He may be able to expertly control his emotions, issuing his commands and enforcing his discipline with stone-faced determination.

But a true Master, a Master such as he, was so invested in his sub that he was actually in a way a slave himself. He was a slave to his love for me. He was a slave to his responsibility. He was a slave to the passion and the commitment. He was a slave to his overwhelming desire to protect his property at all costs. He was a slave to his slave. I knew without question that he loved me so much he'd literally lay down his life for me. He owned me, and his ownership owned him.”

6 months ago. Feb 4, 2020, 6:00 PM

Yesterday marked one year since I sat down across from my Sir for the very first time. Our long letters preceding our meeting about life and love and kink and dreams had already shown me the man beneath the exterior. We sent emails back and forth day and night asking each other endless questions, sharing stories of childhood, past relationships, and our aspirations. We ended each letter with a quote from a book, movie, or song. By the time we were able to meet in person, I already knew that he was a man I could kneel before and walk beside, a man I could love, a man I could learn from, a man I could grow old with. And luckily for me, he felt the same way.


 

Sir to kitten 1/27/19 11:20 PM

I want nothing more than to take that heart from you, hold it close and lend you my breath for the moments you forget to breathe. I am in a bad way, in deep, beyond hope, headed like a freight train to something incredible.

 

kitten to Sir 1/27/19 11:35 AM

I’m typing with the most reluctant of fingers because you make me want to say things. BIG things. Scary things. I am so madly insanely infatuated, besotted, enamored with you. I already can’t wait to wake up in the morning just so I can talk to you again.

 

kitten to Sir 1/29/19 9:23 AM

Just to be clear, I'm not typically this star-struck moony-eyed girl for the men who give her attention. In fact, I'm quite reserved and a bit untrusting. I may feel every emotion, but I rarely show it. I keep walls so highly erected around my heart that very few ever get through. But you Sir, are a bulldozer. I'm clinging desperately to these last few remaining bricks, lest I crumble under the weight of your affections.

 

Sir to kitten 1/29/19 9:42 AM

My dearest Girl, I know exactly how you feel. I have had a few try, unsuccessfully, to get close to me. I don’t understand how you moved right through my defenses but you made it look effortless. I have never been taken so quickly, or felt so strongly about a woman I don’t think. It’s feels silly to write knowing that there’s a possibility something just doesn’t click on Sunday but it’s true. I don’t know how you did it but I am open and exposed in a way I haven’t been in as long as I can remember.

 

 

On February 2nd he flew to Orlando, the closest airport to me, where he had rented a hotel suite for the weekend. I had to work that night and was distracted the entire time knowing that Sir was only an hour drive away. I spent the whole night staring at the clock and willing time to pass so I could get in bed and wake up and start driving to him. I thought many times about asking him to meet me in the midnight hours so I didn’t have to wait any longer, but somehow I managed to make it to daybreak.

 

Sir to kitten 2/2/19 8:09 PM

I found myself today in Orlando. It feels like it’s been a long time coming and now that it’s 14 hours away my heart is kicking back into 6th gear. I have wandered around a bit today and have pictured you with me almost everywhere I went. I haven’t even met you yet and I see you everywhere I look.

 

I was a nervous wreck the entire drive to Orlando. We talked on and off the entire drive and discussed a meeting place. I began to worry, “What if there’s no sexual chemistry? What if he doesn’t find me attractive? What if…”

 

We agreed to meet at the Aquarium, the place he had chosen for our date. When I arrived, I called to find out where he was. I told him I was standing in front of the large ferris wheel and he told me to stay put and he’d come to me. A minute felt like an hour when I finally saw him approaching. I thought my heart might explode in chest.

 

And then he did the best thing he could have possibly done. He walked right up to me, put one hand on the side of my face and one hand around my back and he kissed me. All the jitters and fears dissipated in that one simple act. He pulled back just slightly to smirk and whisper, “hi”, and I was already leaning in for more.

 

We spent the entire day walking and talking. We strolled through the aquarium, we got lunch, we sat by the pool of his hotel. It was perfect. He was perfect.

 

We’d originally only planned to see each other that day, but by the time I left I was already asking if I could return the next day since he didn’t have to fly out until the evening time. He didn’t take much convincing.

 

kitten to Sir 2/3/19 9:56 PM

Today was everything I hoped it would be and more. You are my perfect counterpoint. My soul knows yours and I can’t deny the way I fit perfectly in your arms. We were made for each other.

 

What I didn’t except was to look over at you on day one and be hit with the feeling of “this is it; the start of forever.” I also didn’t expect I’d want to climb all over you and beg you to take me in a parking lot but *shrug*.

 

I can’t thank you enough for everything. You flew here, you took me to the aquarium, treated me to lunch, and conducted yourself like the perfect Prince Charming the entire day. I am flattered and grateful and feeling pretty friggin lucky. 

 

Sir to kitten 2/4/19 5:59 AM

I have never before been so sad about the idea of leaving somewhere. I walked back to my hotel last night and my phone reminded me that my flight leaves tomorrow, and my heart dropped. I knew yesterday, sitting there with you, that my life had changed.

 

You don’t have to thank me for anything. Coming here was the best decision I’ve ever made. The type of day that makes you grateful for every decision that you’ve made in your life that has led you there. I am absolutely crazy about you miss. There’s no saving me and I wouldn’t want to be rescued. There’s only so many words I can find to tell you how strongly I feel about you but simply you are mine. I will cherish you, and just never let you go.

 

When I returned the next day I met him at his suite. He opened the door to let me in and we sat down on the couch and talked for a bit. It didn’t take long for talking to turn into kissing and kissing to turn into other things. It was a very fun day. I received my first rule, “don’t cum without asking permission”.

 

Saying goodbye was the hard part. And it has been every time since. But what a beautiful perfect exciting life-changing weekend it was.

 

Sir to kitten 2/4/19 4:37 PM

In what has turned out to be the best decision I have ever made I flew to Orlando to meet the perfect woman. It went even better than I could have possibly imagined.

She stole my heart so rapidly that I still don’t really know what happened. I’ve never been this type of guy. In ways on this trip I was restrained, but in almost none of the ways that matter. I gave away the most important part of me. Something that I’ve protected for years. I went all in and I was almost convinced I’d not find someone I wanted to do that for again.

 

kitten to Sir 2/4/19 4:48 PM

When I laid in your arms today, I felt more safe and content and also more terrified than I'd felt in a long long time. It's a feeling of rightness and perfection... but my survival instincts also kick in and my heart says "Girl, you have to keep at least a little tiny piece for safe keeping so you can survive if the rest gets shattered." But I didn't do that. I ignored that voice and gave you every tiny sliver. It's all yours. And I'm going to do my best to love you without fear or reservation. You deserve everything, and I'm going to be that for you, just you wait and see. 

 

 

Oh what a crazy year it has been. My adoration of him has only magnified since that day and I have allowed myself to be completely consumed by him. He loves me, protects me, leads me, and gives me room to grow and flourish. He pushes my boundaries, and tests my limits, and makes me see myself in new ways. He’s my joy and my catharsis. He is my Sir.  

 

=^.^=

6 months ago. Jan 22, 2020, 5:00 AM