Roses are red, Bruises are blue

Most of my blogs recount the glorious adventures of Sir and kitten. And while our story is a beautiful, sexy, romantic one, it would be a lie to pretend that every moment is a fairytale.

I’ll preface this post by saying my Sir is wonderful. He’s patient and doting. He gives me love and romance in addition to a beautiful D/s dynamic. He makes me feel safe and cherished, he allows me to be my crazy self, and he loves me for it. He’s loyal and thoughtful. He encourages me and pampers me and hurts me in all the best ways. He’s everything I could want in a Dom and partner.

That said, today’s post is about the hard times. There are difficult moments, difficult days, difficult weeks in our dynamic. I feel it’s just as important, if not more important, for me to share those struggles as well as the happy exciting stories.

We all have different strengths, different desires, different needs. I personally am built for a relationship. A monogamous, domestic, ‘til death do us part’ type relationship. I’ve never been the type to dive headfirst into the dating scene. Never enjoyed the single independent  life. Never wanted to experience polygamy or multiple partners. Never wanted my “freedom”. Those things do not satisfy my soul.

Im not the girl who’s ok with just a “fun time”, a learning experience, a partner who’s just a caveat to the next. I crave a life partner, an owner who will be there day in and day out to comfort me, protect me, teach me, dote on me, discipline me, romance me, lead me. I need one who thrives on my obsessive adoration for him and feels at his best when he’s with me, like I do with him.

I was built to stand (or kneel) beside my person, my ONE. I want to go home each night knowing that they'll be there. I want someone I can eat dinner with, cuddle on the couch with, go to bed with each night. I want to be able to roll over after a bad dream and find comfort in their arms. I want to slow dance in the kitchen after I’ve finished the dishes and bring my lover coffee in bed each morning. I want to blabber on about my day in the evenings and see the wrinkles form around their eyes when they concentrate. I want to smell their scent on my sheets and listen to their snores in the dark. I want a partner to stroll with me through the grocery store and be my date to all the movies. I want someone who’s my best friend, my loyal companion, my confidante, and who I can walk through life with knowing that they’ll never leave, never give up on us, never go searching for something or someone else. I want to know my ONE better than I know myself. I want to tell them all my secrets and to keep all of theirs. I want them to see my good and my bad and I want them to show me all their dark crevices. I want to know that when one of us takes our last breath, the other one will be there holding their hand.

Being a relationship girl, Im not good at being alone. But five days a week, I am. Yes, I have a job. Yes, Sir and I text and talk on the phone and do all the things long distance couples do to try and stay connected. But five days a week I wake up alone, eat alone, shop alone, shower alone, drive around alone, watch tv alone, read alone, go to bed alone. Then I wake up alone again the next day and start over.

It’s hard. It’s really really hard. Soul crushing. During these days I struggle with depression, depersonalization, and mood swings. I hate sitting at home alone in the silence but when I go out and socialize I find myself resenting the people around me from keeping me from being home where Sir might call or FaceTime me. I spend Monday to Friday counting down the hours until I’m back with Sir, and then when Friday night comes I struggle with embracing the moment because I see the 42 hour timer hanging over my head reminding me I’ll be alone again soon. 

Some weeks I feel like Sir and I are so connected and so in tune with each other and the happenings of our lives that it’s almost like we’re not even apart. Those are the weeks where we have ample time to talk and can watch movies together at night and do things that make me feel close to him despite the physical distance. And then there are some weeks that I feel like despite being committed and in love, we’re two people living two completely separate lives. These are the weeks where Sir, or both of us, are busy and our communication is limited (although still daily). 

My point of this blog is to say that long distance relationships are hard. D/s relationships are hard. No person or relationship is perfect. And what you see on forums and social media is just snippet of the full story. 

I found my dream Dom. I’m insanely in love with him and I’ve given myself to him fully. He treats me like a princess and fucks me like a slut. He takes me on dates and pets my head when I kneel at his feet. He’s handsome and smart and he listens to me with genuine interest. He’s my hero and the villain. But my story isn’t only bliss and rainbows. It’s painful. It’s sad and complicated. It’s real. 

=^.^=

We giggle and climb higher. I look back over my shoulder and see that Sir isn’t far behind. With a squeal of renewed vigor, I turn back around ready to tell her to hurry but she’s already two levels above me. I don’t waste a second climbing up through the tunnel made of plastic levels and nets. I want to make it to the top before Sir. When I poke my head up through the final passage she’s waiting there with a smile. I pull myself up and sit back on my heels to look around. I can see the tops of the other buildings in the city. It’s only seconds before Sir is pulling himself up to sit beside me. He smiles at me and my heart skips a beat. I love that he doesn’t just let me run wild with my little friend but when I’m little he runs wild with me. He encourages me to be me, whatever age I am that day, and he stays close so that I am safe and so that I can always find him when I need him.

This weekend was another great one. Saturday we had a blast at the Adventure Science Center in Nashville. The wife of the friends couple we have there picked the location for us to celebrate her birthday. I am so glad she did! They had all kinds of neat things there. We played a virtual soccer game, played a shooting game, climbed on the indoor jungle gym, blasted up coke bottle rockets, danced in front of body heat projectors, made music videos, and so much more. One of my favorite parts was a game I played with Sir in which you put a headband on that reads your brain waves. There’s a tiny ball on the table between you. When your brain emits Alpha and Theta waves, it moves the ball towards your opponent. The person who can move the ball, with their mind, all the way across the table to the other person wins. At first I put all of my focus on the ball “Move! Go that way! Move!” I screamed in my mind at the ball as it began moving on a fairly steady path towards me. Seeing as to how that method was not working in my favor, I quickly accepted my certain defeat and focused instead on Sir. He was wearing his sexy arrogant smirk because he too realized the ball was on a quick path towards his victory. That smirk sent my mind into a tailspin of memories of the night before; a kiss here, a lick over there, a bite, a scratch, a smack, a scream, a smirk. And just like that the ball started rolling straight towards Sir. As the images in my brain began to flash from moment to leg quivering moment, the ball finally stopped right in front of Sir. Game over.

The Adventure Center was followed by dinner at The Pharmacy. If you’re at all familiar with Nashville, you’re familiar with this restaurant. It’s always packed and everyone has been insisting that I try it out. I have to admit, it didn’t disappoint. We got crazy lucky and ended up getting a table straight away. After a delicious sandwich, I sucked down a yummy chocolate milkshake and nearly gave myself a tummy ache. Before we left, Sir bought me a souvenir Pharmacy shirt. It’s super comfy and I’ve been wearing it to sleep in.

Saturday night playtime was a little shorter than most for us. I don’t talk about triggers much in my blogs if I’ve even mentioned them at all, but they are something I struggle with from past traumas. Mostly I’ve learned to cope with them and power through. This is from a combination of therapy, self-care, Dominate support, and prayer. It’s not something you just get over, it’s something you have to work through. While I don’t know that I’ll ever get to a point in my life where I have zero triggers, I have gotten to a place where 9 out of 10 times I can take deep breaths and talk myself through it in a matter of seconds, to the point where the people or person causing the trigger aren’t even aware anything happened. But 1 out of 10 times, I have trouble. Typically this is when the trigger isn’t a momentary thing, it’s something that is still occurring and I can’t just shake it off. One of my triggers is asphyxiation. I love breath play in the form of choking, but I panic when something is covering (or close to covering) my face, or weighing heavily on my chest. Sir is fully aware of this and is very cognizant of when I tense up and he’ll back away to give me space. It’s usually as simple as leaning back a couple of inches and the scene can continue without a hiccup. However, occasionally when I’m facedown into a pillow or the bed I’ll get the same sensation. These are the scenes I have to mentally fight through and put my full trust in him. Like I said above, most of the time, it’s not a problem for me to do that. But Saturday night, during a face/stomach down rope scene in bed, I panicked and no amount of breathing or mental pep talks could get me past it. I asked Sir to talk to me. I needed to hear his voice. I needed the soothing cadence of his words to reassure that it was him behind me, him in control of my body. But in my mental state, all I could do was say “Can you talk to me please?” This, of course, threw him off. I’ve never asked that before and I wasn’t offering any explanation. I couldn’t at the time, and while he was fully aware by my tone that I was in some kind of distress he wasn’t sure why. He asked me a few questions that I couldn’t quite answer and so he made the decision to end the scene, untie me, and just hold me for a while. Heavy panic makes me tired and so it wasn’t long before I drifted off to sleep.

Sunday was a new day. We had a lazy playful morning and before lunch I asked to do a suspension scene and I AM SO GLAD WE DID. This was my favorite suspension we did so far. I can’t exactly tell you why, because I’m not sure myself, but it was just perfect. It wasn’t particularly fancy. It was light, playful, and sexy. Sir synced our Airpods so that we could listen to the same music while he tied. Because I had asked for the suspension, Sir asked if I had any particular thing in mind. I wanted it to be fun and not too intense so I suggested a pretty basic horizontal suspension, and he gave me exactly that.

After that we ate lunch and then Sir asked if I wanted playtime before I had to leave. I eagerly nodded yes since I had fallen asleep somewhat early the night before. He asked the question he already knew the answer to. “And what does my kitten want?” “All of the things.” And that’s exactly what he gave me. Several intense back to back orgasms, followed by many swift and hard hits by 4 whips and a belt, and then immediately followed by more intense orgasms. No time or hesitation between these things. He was relentless and I was an exhausted mess when he was done.

Our weekend ended as usual with a heart aching airport goodbye.

Until next week,

=^.^=

Today I have been yours for 330 days. You hadn’t claimed me yet; no collar, no promises. But I was irrevocably yours the first time our lips met. The fire you sparked in me incinerated every fiber and molecule of my being and what remained was a love so raw and real that authors couldn’t write of its depth and artists can’t portray its beauty. It’s something that can only be felt; not even understood. It’s all consuming, all encompassing, both passionate and painful. You are in every thought, every decision, every hope, every plan. You are the center of everything; the first and the last. 

I love you.

=^.^=

I am currently coming down from a 9-day high. Nine whole days beside and beneath my Sir. This is the longest number of consecutive days we have been able to spend together thus far, and we did not fail to make the most of them.

kitten to Sir  Dec 19, 2019, 9:08 AM

It's going to be a busy week, but I think keeping Monday open (besides our travel), Thursday day time open, and Saturday open, leaves up with some down time. I love you soooo much and I am so so so so so so excited about these 9 days with you!

Sir to kitten  Dec 20, 2019, 10:39 AM

I miss my kitten, my pet, my slave. I need all of the things kitten and I am not at all excited to share you in really just about any way. I am however excited to spend all of this time together. My kitten gets here in about 12 hours and I am anxious to be with her.

It will be a busy play week for us kitten! Heh I am very excited about giving you all sorts of things to write about.

Friday night I flew to Sir. We spent the night at his home in Alabama. We played of course, a needy hungry primal sort of play, as Friday nights usually are.

Saturday we went to Tenessee to spend time with another couple. It was the husband's birthday and we spent the day as a 4-some galavanting around the town doing all kinds of fun things. First, we went for some hot chicken (I had to google this ahead of time because I'd never heard of hot chicken before but assumed it wasn't just chicken that had been cooked to a high temperature lol). Then we went ax-throwing. I was terrible at it! But I had a blast. After that we went to a vintage arcade. That was super fun!! It looked like a scene from Stranger Things, with black lights and nothing but vintage games like pacman, frogger, tetris, and pinball (I'm already looking forward to going back). Lastly, we went to a cigar shop and talked for a while. There are very few things sexier than the sight of my Sir puffing on a cigar. *heart eyes* On the way to our Airbnb, we stopped for a late dinner and had the best sushi of our entire lives. I admit that I whined most of the time the chef was making the sushi because I was starving and I saw him put the rolls up on the bar and thought they were done, but then he spent 10 more minutes pouring sauces on them and sprinkling stuff on it and I was like "Good God man, give me my food already!" But when it finally came to the table I had to admit that whatever voodoo he had performed was worth the wait.

Sunday we continued our travels on to Kentucky where we spent the day with another couple who Sir has known for a long time. This was my second time meeting them and they were gracious enough to let us spend some time at their home and fed us a delicious steak dinner. Because they live out in the country, Sir and the husband were able to have some fun shooting. I'd be lying if I said that watching him shoot with confidence and precision didnt make my princess parts all tingly. 

We headed back to Sir's house Sunday night for playtime and sleep. Monday was a perfect day of laziness and play. After breakfast we snuggled up to watch Green Eggs and Ham but somewhere in the middle of our episode, I moved Sir's hand to a more... comfortable position, from my thigh to the inside of my shirt to rest on my boob. I was only trying to help him get comfy *sweet innocent angel face* and it set off a reaction that I did not see coming. Fast forward an hour and I'm naked, lying face-up on his mattress, my hands are tied in rope above my head, my knees and thighs are tied outwardly in rope to the sides of the bed holding my legs wide open and my ankles are tied to the bottom of the bed. I'm covered in hundreds of pin pricks from the wartenberg wheels, there are scratches on my chest and thighs from Sir's plastic claws (no idea what they're called but it's like some X-men shit), my entire torso is covered in red wax, and Sir is unsheathing his knife. After some knife play that left shallow cuts all over my torso for a few days, Sir gave me a cute S on my thigh that will last me a couple weeks <3 While knife play falls into the more intense category of play for some people, I LOVE it. It isn't a limit-pusher for me, it's just simply fun.

Monday night we flew together back to Florida. This was kind of a big deal for us. Although we had a combined 74 flights into our relationship this year (plus some road trips), this is the very first time we have flown anywhere together. It's always him flying to me, or me flying to him, and then we fly home. This was the first time we drove to an airport together and didn't have to say goodbye. It was a very sweet flight. Well, I suppose you can call it sweet... I got him to listen to my favorite podcast, Crime Junkies, and so we spent the two hours listening to stories of serial killers and unsolved murders. 

Tuesday and Wednesday were a blur of Christmas festivities with my family. We did get to spend Christmas evening alone though, and Sir used his free-time to wrap his kitten up into his favorite present. 

Thursday Sir and I had a day date, a whole day of just us. We love our family and friends and enjoy all of our time with them, but sometimes we need to shut the world out and focus solely on each other. Sir took me to Orlando to eat at the T-Rex restaurant in Disney Springs. The food was yummy and the atmosphere was so neat! They have rooms set up in different prehistoric environments; underwater, ice caves, the rainforest, and each of them have different types of electronimated dinosaurs and prehistoric animals. Then we headed over to International Drive, which is the location where we first met in February. It was very sweet to walk the same paths we walked that first day and remember how we felt then. Then we did the 7D video game adventure. I highly recommend it if you have one in your area. You sit in chairs that move and vibrate in line with what you're seeing on the giant screen in front of you. There is also wind that blows on you and you wear 3D glasses. There are different types of shooting games. We played one with robots and one with zombies. About 10 people can play at one time. Sir got first place the second game and I got second 😄 Lastly, we went to play mini golf at a cool place with lots of obstacles and even a little scavenger hunt incorporated into it. (Side note: Sir was proud cause I found all the items in the scavenger hunt *smug competitive face*)

Friday I had a hair appointment, which was way overdue. And then Saturday we went to the Aquarium. Today we said goodbye again and it is like I've been cut open and my heart and guts are spilling out onto the floor. Sir knows I'm not in a great headspace so we're actually having a tv date right now while I write this blog. We're currently in season 4 of Seinfeld. This is Sir's first time watching it, while I grew up on it. Watching a tv show together is such a simple thing but it makes me feel closer to him while we're apart knowing we're watching the same thing at the same time. It also gives us something simple and lighthearted to talk about. 

It's almost bedtime for me so I'm going to end this here. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and I'll try to blog again soon. 

=^.^=

Another wonderful weekend has passed. This was our first weekend completely alone in a while to do as we pleased in a long time. We often have plans with friends or family, responsibilities and obligations, but this weekend we spent just being together and feeding our insatiable appetites.

Because it’s been a while since we’ve had a whole weekend to ourselves, we dabbled in a bit of everything. 

“What am I going to do with you, my kitten?”

“All the things”

Friday night and Saturday were filled with impact play. This is always a favorite of mine. Spankings, floggers, whips, and belt… Yes, please! Sometime on Saturday afternoon, after a few impact play sessions, while prowling into the walk-in closet where he found me in only underwear, Sir said “I don’t know why, but I just feel like hitting you with things this weekend” which of course led to more play. These kinds of statements always make me chuckle. The blasé way we discuss things that the vanilla world would gasp at.

Sir tells me I look beautiful in red ❤️ 

Saturday night we went to Dave & Busters and played lots of games. I’m a horrible loser and Sir was on a winning streak so there was a bit of pouting and a few “hrmph” from me, which for some reason Sir finds adorable (as long as I don’t throw a fit or be mean).

Then we headed to TopGolf for my company’s holiday party. We had a lot of fun and Sir was the perfect date. I’m a terrible golfer but despite my antics after each ridiculous swing, every time I would turn back to look at Sir, his face had “that look”. You know the one; arrogant and sexy as hell, like he plans to devour me and he knows he’ll leave my shattered body quivering and begging for more. I didn’t understand why he had that look when I was being silly and embarrassing, until he whispered to me that he had a perfect view of his kitten’s bum in her tight jeans the whole time I was golfing.

“You look so happy” – people when they see me with Sir. “That’s because I am” – me.

Saturday night was filled with all kinds of play. But it ended with wax and knife play. This has recently become a contender for favorite play time activity for me. Sir blindfolds me and lays me down. “Hands above your head and keep them there” he orders. He trusts me to obey and to be still despite the lack on bonds. Seconds feel like minutes as I wait for the first drops of the wax to hit my skin. The first ones are always the hottest as I wait for my body to acclimate. He covers my stomach and thighs first with drops of wax as I moan and giggle (it tickles a bit). Then he pauses to massage my breasts and between my legs, working me into a tizzy. He pinches my nipples sending me over the edge and yet I’m instantly ready for more. It’s only seconds before I feel the wax dripping onto my breasts and inner thighs. Covering the places he left open before. The combined sensation of the light touch on my most sensitive places and burning heat sends me into a fit of breathy giggles.

Sir let me help clean up this time. He began removing the wax from my thighs with his knife. When he was about half way through with my body, I asked if I could try. He granted me this request and watched as I ran the blade down my sternum and over my ribs removing the flakes of wax in my trail. His eyes followed the tip of the blade and he hummed appreciatively at the show I was giving him.  

“There’s so much wax” I giggle. “Mmm hmm, because you respond to it so well my kitten” he says as I squeeze my thighs together and my nipples harden.

Sunday we went to a rope dojo. We did lots of things but my favorite part was a game based on intimacy and listening to your bottom. The Top had to perform a certain tie on the bottom, but any time the bottom was particularly enjoying a moment or something the Top was doing, then the bottom would say “pause” and the Top had to pause until the bottom gave a cue that the Top could continue. Basically every time my Sir would get within 10 inches of me, I would say “pause”. Having our faces just inches apart while I’m wrapped in his arms and ropes…. *happy sigh*. I ad libbed by making my cue to continue, “kiss me”. It’s funny how power exchange can look like one thing on the outside but really it’s something else. From the outside it looks like I’m the one calling the shots. But if you looked closer, you’d see that I’m still the one being tied up in ropes and my “pauses” are all based on my total focus on him and observing his reactions. I “pause” when I see the ghost of a smirk, a flash of love or desire in his eyes, a slight parting of his lips. The command may be falling off my tongue but it’s still him who leads the scene and me who eagerly follows.  

As always, I’m forced to watch him go. To feel the string that connects my heart to his tug and strain with the distance. He will be back, I know, but for now I must wait.

=^.^=

I sit here at my keyboard with the intent of writing all about the spoils of my birthday weekend and yet the words do not come. Sometimes when I blog the words flow through my mind faster than my fingers can type, and other times I just sit and stare at the blinking cursor for several minutes until I just close the screen and move on to something else.

Today I’m going to try to push through that block. My Sir, like most Doms, is the type to expect follow-through from his sub. Sunday night I mentioned that I planned to write a blog post the following day. But yesterday I just couldn’t find the inspiration to share and so I wrote Sir a letter instead. Today I received a text that simply said “I didn’t see a post from my kitten yesterday” followed by the pondering face emoji. Welp, we all know what that means. So here I sit…. *blinking cursor*

I guess I’ll just start at the beginning.

Sir to kitten Thur, Nov 21 12:57PM

Today we celebrate my kitten’s birthday and I am so excited to be a part of her life. I am a very lucky man and am very grateful for you. I know you started rolling your eyes at me much earlier in the day but you are my princess this weekend and I cannot wait to treat you as such! Hurry up and come to me my love. All the pets, cuddles, and spoils are waiting for you! 

This was my travel weekend (we swap every weekend). Typically we fly in on Friday night and out on Sunday night, but this week I flew in on Thursday night instead (since that was my actual birthday). When we got back to Sir’s house, he had my gift waiting beside our bed. It was a beautifully crafted collar for little me. We have many day collars and my submissive/slave collar, but this was my first little collar. “Happy Birthday, my Belle,” he said as he snapped it closed and placed a kiss to my lips. *swoon*

We’d both taken Friday off of work and so we got to spend an extra day together. Friday was a relaxed and rainy day. We went to a few stores to buy a list of random things that Sir was being very mysterious about it. We ate a late lunch and Friday we played with ropes. We hadn’t been able to do any suspension in about a month or so and Sir’s palms were getting tingly. So we decided to do a rope session. We made a plan, it didn’t go accordingly, but we agreed not to leave the room until Sir had his kitten hanging in ropes.

kitten to Sir Mon, Nov 25 11:52AM

Friday night ropes was nice too. I know you got frustrated but that’s why I’m glad we did it. It’s important to each of us as individuals and as a couple to work through the hard times. We faced a tense and frustrating situation that went a little outside of our plan, and all it did was bring us closer. We comforted each other instead of taking it out on each other, and we kept going until we got a win. Sometimes it’s the less than sweet moments that are the defining ones.

Saturday was some more mystery supply shopping and then a littles play date that Sir had arranged. My little friend knew we were coming over but our date activities were a surprise to her too. Her husband and Sir had conspired together. Sir finally revealed what our mystery supply shopping was for. We got to make bath bombs and playdough! *squee!* Both activities were really fun but I think I need more bath bomb making practice; one set was cracking and brittle and the other set kept expanding and never really dried up (advice for future bath bomb making welcome in the comments below). The playdough turned out perfectly though. Nice and squishy and doughy and perfect.

But the fun was not over! Sir led us on a surprise trip to Build-A-Bear! I have always wanted to go there. I had even picked out a stuffie and named her about a year ago when I saw her online. I was so excited to see that she was still there. Sir said that I could pick out anything I wanted for her so she got a cute outfit and a backpack carrier too.

Her name is Rainy <3

Saturday night was snuggles, and sweets, and Green Eggs and Ham on Netflix.

Now sprinkle in about 80-90 orgasms over the 72 hours (nope, not exaggerating), a couple naps, and a sweet airport goodbye and that was the sum of a beautiful birthday weekend.

In summary, my Sir is the best. 

=^.^=

Even the most loving and committed relationships have moments of friction. Sir and I have a wonderful and beautiful dynamic. We both approach our roles with the other person’s needs and wants in mind. We love aggressively, we’re passionate and generous towards each other, we’re both willing to compromise and we make sure that never a day goes by that we haven’t made sure to express our adoration and appreciation of the other. His type of Dominance fulfills each of my needs and my type of submission is what fulfills his. We’ve worked really really hard and intentionally to build a solid D/s dynamic that honors power exchange and servitude but doesn’t compromise our ability to love and be romantic, and we continue to put in that effort each day.

Because we’re human and we aren’t mind readers and we have a ton of responsibilities and outside stresses, there are the occasional moments of friction. Being so in tune with each other, these moments are especially difficult because we both desperately want the other person to feel content and appreciated and secure all of the time. When one of us tenses up, pulls away, or starts to get caught in their own head, we each feel it - and we struggle to try and fix it. So any tiny blip in our typical bubble of bliss hits us each pretty hard.

But at the end of the hard days, I go to bed feeling closer to him than ever. I feel his ownership and the promise of forever more intensely when we’ve had a bumpy day than I normally do on the “perfect” days. It’s easy to believe in forever when everything is blissful and much harder when there’s tension. There is no better feeling than being so secure in your relationship that you know with absolute certainty that whatever happens, whatever has been said or left unsaid that day, changes nothing in regards to our love and commitment. When we wake up in the morning, we’ll still be madly in love, I’ll still belong to him, and neither of us will harvest any bad feelings. That’s the foundation that we’ve built together. The structure is so stable and strong that not even a hurricane could blow it over.

“Life sure can try to put love thought it

But we built this right

So nothing’s ever gonna move it

When the bones are good,

The rest don’t matter.

Yeah the paint could peel, the glass could shatter.

Let it rain, cause you and I remain the same.

When there ain’t a crack in the foundation,

Baby I know any storm we’re facing

Will blow right over while we stay good.

The house don’t fall when my bones are good.”

=^.^=

Sir and I have had to share the past 3 weekends with other people. They’ve been wonderful times, but we haven’t had any days alone. We still have two more busy weekends to get through before we have another coveted M/s weekend to submerge in our dynamic without interference. 

Luckily, we still have our nights alone to play. I’m very much looking forward to tomorrow night, Sir. I need you.

=^.^=

I strain to listen, hoping to catch the sound of a footstep, the creak of a door, the ruffle of material, anything to clue me into what my Sir is up to. The silky material of Sir’s tie covers my eyes in the already dim room. My cheek is pressed into the cotton sheets of our bed, my arms stretch out above my head in the prayer position, my legs beneath me with my knees to my chest.  I’d be tempted to fidget and get more comfortable if the coarse ropes weren’t wrapped so tightly around me holding my body and limbs into place.  

I start to feel the sweat building between the bends of my legs and my shoulders strain to keep my arms outstretched. The seconds feel like minutes and the minutes feel like hours. Just when I think I may go insane from the waiting, I hear it; Sir’s deep voice from the doorway. “Good girl, kitten. You look so lovely all tied up for me, waiting so very patiently.” My aches and discomforts are instantly replaced with a feeling of warmth and pride. I don’t have to reply, Sir can sense my smile.

I hear his footsteps on the carpet as he enters the room, coming closer to where he left me several minutes before. When I hear him stop just inches behind me, he hums in appreciation of the view I’m presenting him. I lay perfectly still and silent even though my brain is screaming, “Touch me! Please, Sir, I need to feel you.” I can feel my sex clench in anticipation of whatever is to come. “Is my kitten ready to play?” he asks, already knowing the answer. “Yes, Sir” my reply comes out sounding eager and hungry. “Then what shall I do with my pet tonight?” I know the question is rhetorical and so I wait with both dread and excitement for the answer that will follow.

It’s only moments before I hear the sound I covet; the metallic jingle of a buckle and the whisp of the leather being pulled from Sir’s belt loops. I attempt to raise my ass higher in the air but the only thing I manage to do is dig the ropes tighter into my thighs. I feel the soft tickle of leather as Sir lightly glides the belt up and down the curve of my spine causing goose bumps to break out across my skin.

“Who’s are you, kitten?” he asks.

“Yours, Sir”

*WHACK* The belt comes down hard on my ass, leaving a line of fire in its wake.

“And what are you?”

“Your pet”

*WHACK WHACK*

“And what else?”

“Your slut”

*WHACK WHACK*

“And?”

“Your play thing”

*WHACK WHACK WHACK* Each strike harder than the last. I bury my face into the sheets to stifle my moans and whimpers.

“Your love”

*WHACK WHACK WHACK*

“Your princess”

*WHACK WHACK WHACK*

“Your kitten”

*WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK* Strike after strike, without even a breath between, until the red stripes cover every inch of exposed skin.

The belt falls to the side of the bed as one of Sir’s hands works its way into my hair pulling my head back painfully and the other finds my cunt. He chuckles in my ear, almost sympathetically at how predictable I am, how easy it is for him to turn me into a whimpering, needy mess. “I love my little belt whore. Always so wet for me. Such a good girl.” I hum and purr as I push my cunt into his hand silently begging him not to stop. He slides his thumb inside me and works my clit with his index finger. It doesn’t take longer before I’m sprinting towards the edge and just before I fall over I beg “May I cum please, Sir?!”

The hand in my hair jerks my head back farther so his lips brush against my ear as he whispers, “Cum for me, kitten,” just as lightning flashes, the world fades away, and everything goes silent and black.

=^.^=

Under “limits” on my profile it says “With the right owner, you don’t need any. I trust him completely.”

What does that mean? Does it mean that Sir can do anything and everything to me, without limitation, and I won’t end our dynamic?

No. It means that he has taken the time to get to know me. To really know me; inside and out; mind, body, and soul. He’s talked to me about my likes and dislikes, he watches my body’s responses and physical reactions closely, and he respects the sanctity of a safe word – always reminding me that it’s there to be used freely at any time. I don’t need to give him a list of things I won’t allow or that I’m not agreeable to trying. I trust that he will take what he’s learned from me and about me and use that knowledge to bring us both pleasure. Sometimes he pushes me outside of my comfort zone, but only when he knows that when I get to the other side of that barrier, I’ll be grateful that he took me there.

So being without limits, for me, doesn’t mean that I’d willingly walk over the edge of a cliff or jump in front of a bus. It doesn’t mean that I’d stand by timidly while I was cheated on, lied to, and abused. It doesn’t mean that I’m naive enough to think I’ve tried every kinky thing and have decided that I like it all. It simply means that I am owned by a Dominant who I know wants only to bring me to new heights, to break me down in ways that he is fully confident that he can put me back to together. It means that I trust him and his instincts more than I trust my own.

=^.^=