It has been a very long time since I have written anything. Months ago I would share my experiences and think that we all relate, but that really isn’t true. This isn’t written for everyone. This isn’t written for those here who are married vanilla but have an online D/s relationship. This isn’t written for anyone who professes love for one but adds a different collar to their name with their next breath. An online only D/s relationship will never be able to understand what I’m about to explain.
This is written for those like my Sir and myself. A real life couple who awakes together, spends lunch together, shares texts throughout our day and shares a unique unconditional love that extends beyond any other. We sleep together, yet live 3,000 miles apart. Sometimes I call him Robert because we have normal everyday lives. Sometimes I call him Sir because I respect him above all others. Sometimes I tell my Daddy that I love him because he takes care of me like no other. The emotions I feel for him run so deep that I know he is my “forever person”. He is my best friend first and foremost. This is our foundation.
Our submission constantly changes. We live D/s everyday, but sometimes it will fall aside. We have normal responsibilities; we have our children to care for; we have our friends and family times. Everyday I submit to my Dom. Most days I kneel because it’s my “happy” place. It brings a much needed deep breath, calm and peace to my crazy day. When we are apart, this brings us together. He takes care of my mental needs and knows when I need to kneel. He knows when I need emotional submission versus physical. There is so much more importance to mental submission. We have our solid foundation as friends first. That is where we started before everything else. As best friends, our Dominance and submission is stronger. We communicate ALL feelings and thoughts. This was a first for me. No one really wants to know every thought and feeling I’m experiencing. Do they? My Sir never judges me for what I think. He never judges me for how I feel. Even when frustration comes his way. Talking about everything resolves any issues and strengthens our bond, even when we decide to agree to disagree.
When we are together, everything changes. I mean everything. The first few days satisfies our physical needs from being apart. I do still kneel as he plays with my hair. It is after all still my happy place. I will call him Robert and Sir, but rarely Daddy. I feel it, yet my brain still hasn’t wrapped around letting that out of my mouth. My growth will never be done. My submission morphs into something I never expected. Online D/s is full of “yes Sir” and physical pleasures. In person, submission, well...I love making his coffee and having him sit while I make him breakfast. I don’t drink coffee so that is something he had to teach me. He also taught me how he likes his eggs, which was also a first. When we shower, he always get washed first. When we dress for our day, I assist him with anything he needs. I anticipate those needs. When we eat out, I make sure his drink is always re-filled before it’s empty. Why should he need to be bothered making sure his drink is full? When we go out, I drive. I love driving us to our next adventure. Us being together isn’t about road trip blow jobs, public escapades or anything else from online fantasy land. My submission changes to taking care of ALL his needs. This is what it is like to love and respect your Dom. It’s so much more than placing his online name next to yours on your online profile. My submission is so deep that when we are together, nothing is more important than taking care of my daddy. So much so that I don’t even realize I’m doing it. I first thought that I wasn’t being submissive at all; then realized is that I was being more submissive than ever before.
We have big obstacles to overcome to be together all the time, but it’s not a matter of if it can happen, but When.
I fully acknowledge that each dynamic is different. I also fully acknowledge that there are many here who will never understand and those who will never get the opportunity to understand the things I have explained. I don’t expect anyone to relate to what I have said, but maybe...just maybe..you’ll find a grand adventure of your own.