Days in military can be tough. I’m gonna be judged only for not going to a doctor appointment I didn’t even placed. Also, just finished guarding 4 hours with heavy equipment on me. The days also haven’t been so good because of the post trauma I have, and the memory of cutting, which haven’t left me for 3 years now since I’ve stopped. I feel trapped sometimes. Everyone want me to do everything, and when I fall and make mistakes I get fucking judged. By judged I mean, like court, judged. Only not in a court . It’s really weird.
Sometimes I just go to sleep and dream of a woman that will caress me until I fall asleep. Pet me with her soft hands, and on the next day, will hurt me and kiss me and fuck me, than hug me. I do that in days like now, when I’m going to sleep alone since everyone are already asleep. Time to imagine.
But instead of being loved, I’m being judged for shit.
how can one replace something as big as love? And sympathy.
They should be the ones being judged.
There are zero replacements for love
