A long while back in my checkered past, I actually spent a little time studying linguistics. Don't go getting excited! That major didn't last very long. And I really wasn't all that great of shakes at it. God knows I have enough trouble with my native tongue. If you don't believe me, just check out my long winded posts!
But, this is exactly the trouble I always have in a metadiscussion focused on terminology and communication. We use the words, but does everybody involved in the conversation actually understand them to mean the same fucking thing!
And then, we start pulling in buzzwords and jargon specific to the topic at hand. And, oh my aching head, the fucking acronyms!
Alright, so here's a little story that is totally unrelated to BDSM or even stuff that requires the "over the age of consent" stamp of approval.
I don't really remember just how old I was, but I was still knee-high to a grasshopper. I don't think I'd started to school yet. Any road, I was taking my first "big boy" shower! And that was a big, big, big deal to me, to take a shower instead of a bath. Just like Dad!
Well, Dad was standing just outside, watching me, and calling out directions, to make sure I was safe and doing it right. And... I don't know. I thought it was going well. Maybe it wasn't going as well as I'd thought, though. Because we hit a snag. And Dad got frustrated.
He called out a direction, and I did what I thought he was intending for me to do.
"Get under the water," he said.
So, I did.
"Get under the water," he repeated.
Uh, ok. I thought I was. But, maybe I wasn't doing it quite right. So, I did what I was doing, but harder.
"Get under the water, now!" He snapped.
And I could tell he was getting mad at me. But, I didn't know why. I was doing what he said. But, maybe I wasn't doing it good enough. So, I tried harder.
After about three more rounds, I couldn't take it anymore and snapped. (Er, I should probably go ahead and admit, there really hasn't ever been a lot of submit in my soul... Not even when I knew I was going to get my ass whipped for it.)
"I am under the water!" I burst out, near tears. "Look! I'm hugging the wall! The water is going over me! None of it is even touching me! What do you want?!"
It was a couple of months before I dared anything more than splashing around in the bathtub again.
*shrug*
I don't know. But, even just "Dominant" or "submissive" has (and I almost hate to say it) shades of meaning.
How dominant?
How submissive?
"Mine?"
Uh, my what, exactly. I know what I mean when I say "mine." But, what do you mean when you say it?
And I think it's probably a pretty rare thing for two people in a discussion to mean exactly the same thing when they are discussing it. But, do they even question it? Or do they just assume they mean the same thing since they are using the same terms?
But, of course, everybody knows the terms. And everybody uses the terms. And I don't know. I've probably already proved I'm just weird as fuck and overanalyze every fucking thing. But, I often find myself glancing around at everybody else and wondering, "Ok, am I seriously the only person that is wondering if what they think they are saying is what I actually heard (read) them saying?"
And, I don't know. I think seeking brevity just makes it worse. Trying to encapsulate an idea, a whole concept and a lifestyle into an acronym or a word.
And as Paul Harvey might say; I guess that's the rest of the story about why I get so damned long-winded with some of my posts.
And, shit. I did it again when I was seriously trying my damndest not to.
