So, yeah. I figure I'm probably on the naughty list for life after writing up the story of Santa's slutty daughter a few years ago, if I wasn't already. But, I stand by my assessment that "it was all worth it, you voyeuristic, stalkerish, judgemental, breaking-and-entering, cookie-stealing, jolly fat bastard!"
Any road, I still go though the motions around this time for those who still have a shot at something other than coal and switches... and more than few who only think they know what naughty is. So, if you're into that kind of thing, here's some snapshots of old Grumpus in his rockin' chair by the barbecue pit telling some Christmassy type tales aloud.
O. Henry ~ A Chapparel Christmas Gift
O. Henry ~ An Unfinished Christmas Story
Terri Reinhart ~ The Fiercest Little Animal in the Forest
H.P. Lovecraft ~ Christmastide
Lewis Carroll ~ Christmas Greetings from Fairy to Child
Stephan Leacock ~ Merry Christmas
O. Henry ~ The Gift of the Magi
Leo Tolstoy ~ Papa Panov's Special Christmas
Mary Griggs Van Voorhis ~ The Boy with the Box
Richmal Crompton ~ The Christmas Present
Hans Christian Anderson ~ The Fir Tree
Charles Dickens ~ What Christmas Is As We Grow Older
Twas The Night Before Christmas
Twas The Night After Christmas
Jim Butcher ~ Christmas Eve; A Dresden Files Short Story
(Spoiler Alert: This story follows Battle Ground. And mentions the aftermath of those events.)
That's enough of that. And all you're getting from me. Go sit on that jolly judge's lap and convince him you deserve whatever else. I'm gonna hang out here and wait for his daughter Misty to bring me the gift I want again this year.