Why even try. I'm done getting hurt. You say one thing and do another. You said you wanted me to be honest. You can't be honest with me. How could you take something that meant alot to me and make it a disaster. Why not be just another slut and call myself a submissive then I could expect to be treated like I'm worthless. Why did I even try it always ends in pain.
Why won't he let me find what I need? If he wants to be my dominant then find a mentor get to know others in the lifestyle. Don't keep putting me through this. It is becoming more and more difficult to even want to look for a possible dominant. I worry that I'm going to start a venture on my own and not let him be a part of it. Why is it that you know I want kinky sex but yet you have came up with every aspect in the world to not do it. Now it's gotten worse because even when you know I want to have sex you want me to what exactly? You won't say. You won't give a straight answer. So I'm constantly saying fuck it. Rant closed.
I find it's hard to get people to understand what works for one may not work for another. My need to submit daily is driving me nuts. I know I am married and he comes first. My need to submit, to a second dominant is hard to fulfill. I want to find a dominant that can work with my husband to show him what I am needing. I have submitted to a dominant and to my husband and yes it had some issues that we worked out, but it was also satisfied all of our needs. Why is it so hard to find that again? I don't do well with online submission. I think I have to be able to touch something and that is what makes it real. I know that some sexual gradificaction comes with this lifestyle and so does my husband. He's willing to share me with another if it helps me find what I'm looking for. The problem is everyone wants to do it without him knowing or being involved. For me I am not able to lie, or be deceitful.