I'm starting to fully embrace being a little. I don't have a dedicated time for it; I just let it out sometimes. I've been letting it out more lately. My Daddy and I have even set up a reward system. I'm excited about it. I have trouble getting myself motivated to do the things I want to do and don't get me started on the things I have to do but don't want to. I'm hoping this new system will help with that. I know it will take some time, trial and error but I think it will be good for me, for us. I know that when I first brought this up I said I wanted to be a pet but it turned into me being a little with pet tendencies. Recently I found out that it’s a common/ish thing and has a name! I’m a littlefur. Unless I’m wrong and that only refers to littles that are furries. I’m still using it because it was really exciting to me. Anyway, I think part of that is because it’s easier in our current living situations. It’s kind of difficult to be a pet when you live with your parents… I can be a little without much grief. Plus it helps that I can turn it on and off easily. For the most part. Sometimes my little will come out and I don’t notice for a bit. I actually was almost full little while out walking around town playing Pokémon Go and realized how bad it was at one point and had to ask if it was ok or if I was too much/annoying. Daddy was ok with it and that made me happy and possibly even more little, ha ha. I enjoy being little and I want to play the part more. I want to wear frilly dresses, go to the park and have my Daddy push me on the swing. I want to eat popsicles on the porch and go play in the sprinkler. I miss the simplicity of being a kid. I don’t want to be an adult anymore. Can I be an adult kid? No responsibilities, just a kid... No, I wouldn’t be happy that way. I need something more in my life than that. I get sad and lonely if I’m at home all the time with nothing to do. I just miss not having all this worry. Bills, mental illness, having to take meds because my body hates me, remembering to feed myself, going to work to pay for everything. I just need a place with my Daddy so I can have quality little space time. Be able to wear adult onesies, surround myself with my favorite stuffies, watch Disney movies while eating popcorn, and snuggle with my Daddy. I’d wait for him at the door and rub up against his legs when he got home like the good little kitty I am. Oh, to be able to wear cat ears, a tail, and a little girl dress and go play at the park and not look like a freak. I’m glad I have this release. This kid mentality. It makes dealing with everything a little easier. Granted, sometimes it makes it worse because some days all I want to do is lay in bed with my cat and watch cartoons when I need to go to work and earn money. But we all have to do things we don’t want to do and now I have a reward system to help me! Plus, Daddy and I have started looking at places! We will have a friend living with us as well but that won't be an issue. We've already talked about warning him when we decide to mess around. He asked for a five minute warning so he could either get out of the apartment or watch something with his noise canceling headphones. I’m sure by this point he at least knows I have little tendencies since I’m always calling my guy “Daddy” and asking him to buy me ice cream or other kid things. It’ll be nice to be somewhere I don’t have to hide myself. To just be me.
Here’s to the future!
Zebra