I'm listening to Pandora on my phone so unfortunately can't share videos of the music, but I can list them...
Wide Awake- Katy Perry
Walk me home- Pink
Love lies- Khalid & Normani
We don't have to take our clothes off- Ella Eyre
Feel it still- Portugal. The Man
As I have always said " if I can't win with the cards I am dealt, I will just change the game."
My sir is still my sir, but I'm changing the game.
Actions speak louder than words, I know my worth ( not to mention my submissions worth), my beauty, my value, and my intelligence. Never again will I ever let anyone make me doubt it. Especially someone 10 yrs younger than me.
Last night was such a fun wonderful night and I am grateful that I have the Sir that I do, otherwise I would have been in a lot of trouble.
Yesterday was my oldest sons 21st Birthday.
Since he was 18 my son has planned that on his 21st he and I were going to go to one of the pool halls we go to and have a drink together.
So that is what we did.
Sir knew that it was probably going to be a late night ( as my son wasn't getting off work until 9pm) so he took a nap. I was so excited. First just in seeing my son as its been a very months since I had seen him in person last, and secondly because how special that my son wished to spend such a big birthday with his mom.
After several text to my son to see how far out they were, I finally woke Sit up. As we got ready, I walked over to my jewelry box and picked out a choker. I could not get it to clasp so Sir graciously secured it around my throat for me.
Once we reached the pool hall and after I gave my son one of the biggest hugs, my son looked at me and said " Mom, you are not" with a smile and a laugh referring to my choker..
I smiled and laughed replying " It's only a choker."
Once inside one of my son's friends ( a guy that is such a good friend for my son that I have only been able to face time with, but still calls me mom) picked a pool table and then started a tab. The bartender came over and asked everyone what they were ordering, my son turned to me and said " Mom whats the drink you always get? That's what I want."
" A double tall Jack and Coke."
My son turned back to the bartender and said " Yep two double tall jack and cokes."
She of course asked for id's and my son enthusiastically got his out and with pride showed her his.
We informed her that it was his 21st and a huge smile came across here face and expressed how special it was that my son and I's relationship was so close and filled with love for him to chose to spend it with me.
After his first shot on the table, my son, being my son after all, walked over to the mother of his child and handed her his cue stick. She took it and then he immediately retrieved it back. " Why did you do that?"
She innocently asked.
" I just wanted you to hold my rod."
She blushed "Oh my god, babe. In front of your mom." ( they have been together since my son was 15 and her 16).
" I can't say anything because you all are now officially adults." I replied with laughter.
Two minutes later, after my son thought he had gotten the upper hand on embarrassments, I spouted off with a snarky remark that made him shake his head and I think turn a little red in the checks.
Needless to say we all banttered back and forth like this all night long with me telling them that now that they are adults I no longer had to censor myself and welcomed them to a new level.
Sir was laughing at everything. Even at times when I said things then realized what I had said that made me lean into his ear and say " I'm going to be in trouble when we get home."
It was such an amazing night! My son couldn't stop saying " Happy 21st Birthday to me." With the biggest smile on his face and admitted that the shot that I told him to order ( even though it was the grossest shot in his opinion) was the shot that got him drunk.
When sir and I finally got home there was no punishment at all. It was quite the opposite (which I was so grateful for because he had only had one drink and let me be the one to drink multiple drinks with my son) so needless to say I was my sassy self only asking permission to ride after he had let me do what I wanted to his cock. I almost forgot to ask to cum but luckily I remembered just in time. Then worried about him not getting his because I was starting to lose rhythm. I asked sir to please take over because I wanted him to feel as good as I was and thanked him for making the night happen.
I am so grateful to have a Sir that is lenient with me and allows for moments when my inhibitions drop and my wild side comes out, not to push me but finds it exhilarating.
Also I am so proud to say that I am my son's mom! That child and I have been through so much together and to see the man that he is swells my heart so much! Sir even commented about how much growth he has witnessed in my child in the time that he has known him and expressed to me what a good job I did installing Morales into my children and that I was a wonderful mom.
To top everything off, my son's fiance messaged me to let me know they got home safely and that my son was passed out. Along with pictures of my not so little boy anymore.
" What seems like death to a caterpillar is the birth of a beautiful butterfly to the Master." - Unknown
Just another random thought in a moment of time.
To everyone who shared their advice with me on an earlier blog from last week, my greatest appreciation to all you lovely people.
I took what each of you said and paired that with the right timing of my situation and got my voice back.
Though shakey at first, I spoke my truth and allowed myself to be vulnerable. I also went a step further and placed myself in the others shoes to see how I would feel if I had done something that I was not aware of and hence received the confusing actions that I had given that person and I apologized.
I didn't apologize because I had done something " wrong" but I felt the want to apologize because I had chose to place the past in the present and was transposing on the current person the mannerisms of another, knowing that there is a huge difference in the two and that the current one has never and would never intentionally hurt me. For me, I felt that was unfair to him.
I know these blogs are not a learning tool, but they are a way of reflection, outlets, and people here are starting to feel like family. As with any journey even though it is our own to travel it is always welcoming to get advice and hear others stories, cause as my father has always told me " the details may not be the same, but we all have been through something so there is something to learn from everyone we meet and even if it feels like it, if we just listen to the stories we are told. We find out that we turely aren't alone."
Once again, thank you to all who are gradually becoming friends for your advice and following my journey and listening to my story.
Her thoughts can't sit still. They are bouncing all over the place, one scene to the next. She can't control it and stop the replays. She understands that work needs to be done, but she is the boss and works from home.
So with the work in her lap and piled around her, she reclines back, lights a cigarette and enjoys as the movie plays.
Still in such a wonderful spot..
Words are so difficult to express and do justice to the sensation and euphoria.
On on hand I so want to talk about it in detail to someone, but on the other I want to hold every delicious detail close as they are mine and his.
That time and connection and growth.
Something so special and sacred that just the two of us shared.
Swimming in the bliss and soaring in the clouds all at once...
Once I can (when I want to) place my feet upon the ground, I might share some of the reasons..
Oh such delicious reasons for this glorious feeling.
A random thought..
Since we call it the vanilla life, what flavor would would the lifestyle be called?
Just another random thought in a random moment in time.
Had to share..
Tell it to her
And
Fire and Ice
Back to back play on my Pandora