Honestly it feels like a weight has been lifted now that the affair is over. I no longer have to feel the need to try and be what I'm not for him. I can finally feel comfortable in my own skin and not worry about whether he'll like this piece of lingerie or not. Or how to wear my hair to please him most. No more self conscious feelings of being too fat for him or not blonde enough for him. No more having to reassure him that he matters or that he's not being replaced. No more spending pics or videos to him. No more trying to be skinny enough for him.
No more trying to hide how hurt I was year after year when he never chose to be with me but chose to fuck me instead.
While I will miss the sex because it was life changing sex, I will not miss all the chances he had to make me his and never did.