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Dancing in darkness and solitude

1 week ago. July 8, 2024 at 7:37 PM

This is just a wish sent out to the powers that be, its Mama Grey Eyes birthday today and I hope its the best one she's ever had-to date!! 

 

This wonderful and amazing woman has been a light and a shining star in my life ever since she came into it, and many times before on our past lives when our souls crossed before.

 

She has been so brave, courageous and steadfast throughout all her trials and taken everything that life has thrown at her not only in her stride, but reined it in and ridden it into the sunset to live her best life and achieve the happiness she's craved and fought for for so very long.

 

I admire, love and adore her and she is my guide, best friend and the closest thing I've had to a mother in my life, and I am truly blessed and so very grateful to have her in my life. 

 

Words are not enough to convey how much she means to me but I do hope they convey some of my happiness and honor at being able to have her in my world.

 

You are stunning, so very inspiring and truly one of the best people I've come across in my life mama, all my love (and da stuffiness!!!) ❤️ 

1 month ago. June 12, 2024 at 4:42 PM

Is it just me or does some days feel like nothing but effort and trauma when it comes to adulting? Like you'd rather be doing anything else and have to bully and force yourself to do the grown up stuff🥲🙄. 

 

Not sure if it's a little thing or just a general one but I frankly find it exhausting to constantly have to put on my big girl boots and do the doing things. There's never a break, never a gap or breathing space, then i just get into a funk because it feels like I'm at fault for not being able to manage it well enough 😅😮‍💨.

 

Just a rant, it's not as bad as it seems but sometimes it's nice to just stop and not have to do anything am I right?

 

Have a bewtiful day and I hope its filled with rainbow bubbles and butterflies 🌈🦋!

2 months ago. May 18, 2024 at 8:53 PM

If the seas and the sands sent a thousand whispers

around the world in search of you,

would you give them a chance to find you;

or would you elude me like you always do?

 

If the sun and the stars shone the brightest searchlight,

illuminating every place you might hide,

would you still find a place to creep into?

 

A shadow where you can't be found...

 

Would you slip through my fingers, 

just like time and time again.

 

Haunt my dreams as you whisper my name,

and come to me, soulmate, before I awaken from this dream;

to nearly see your face before you're gone again.

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Through shadows and mist I see your face,

and even though you see me so well 

I run away and hide in disgrace.

 

Because you can look inside me- see what I hide, 

when no one else can.

You seem to see what's in between the lies,

that I spin around myself in an attempt to hide. 

 

From the anger and the hatred, the shame and hurt.

From the many broken promises, the unkept words.

 

People say things, then take them back. 

Yet that doesn't take away the pain,

Yet you tell me it's not my fault.

That I have no reason to be ashamed.

 

Yet how do I explain to you- the only things I feel is dirty and used. 

Hollow and alone, like howling in pain.

So I hide myself instead, I turn away.

Turn my back on myself, just like everyone else.

 

And now you tell me not to, that I must take care of myself. 

But how? WHAT? WHY?? 

It never mattered before, so why do I matter now?

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Sometimes all it takes to feel loved

is a tender work, a kiss or hug.

When your days are wrong,

nothing going your way,

but then someone comes along and brightens your day.

 

They make you smile, laughing at your tunnel vision,

you realize you've been blinded.

Off on your own mission. 

And with that single dazzling smile are reminded,

that although your world revolves around you

the world at large spins to a different tune.

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If you're feeling lost, closed

blocked off,

all the rules you follow

apply only to you.

 

The boundaries are blurred,

you're a loner. An outcast.\

Your every decision shadowed with doubt.

 

Just remember one thing,

you are never alone!

There are many of us out there,

each different but as one. 

 

So gather your strength around you,

send happy waves of energy out. 

 

For those same vibes will return tenfold

showering love and joy about.

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2 months ago. May 18, 2024 at 8:12 PM

Electrifying impulses shoot through veins,

delectable, delicious, delirious. 

 

As my system is shocked awake,

pounded by a wave of emotion;

on a bloody red wave that crashes, courses;

shakes with the power and energy.

 

Your touch stings, breath scorches,

eyes wide open with a silent scream,

begging for this sweet pain to end.

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Essentially we are but one,

divided by our consciousness. 

PArted from each other eons ago,

as the centuries grew and lands fell apart.

As the histories transgressed, one against another,

families drifted away and the changes came about. 

But in the ending of this story we will all awake together,

in the same place and joined as before.

--------------------------------------------------------

An ode to the dissymmetry of the constellations.

 

Vibrant and  pulsing they shoot through the sky,

blinding or invisible to the naked eye.

 

Starry eyed lovers lay under them and sigh

star-struck children whisper wishes on their pillows,

gazing up at them as they dance and fly. 

 

Bursting apart in a flash of colour,

leaving a glittering pathway,

showering the galaxies with ancient histories.

 

Coalescing together to re-form and birth another,

twinkling with the twilight as the daylight fades away.

 

We will forever be enraptured with them, 

celebrating their glory. 

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 The tongue, such a splendid thing,

it can cast a spell or wreak destruction.

 

Can wash away pain and inflame a heart.

as it weaves a net of words, shooting wonderous sparks. 

 

It causes howling and anguish,shrieks of joy or pain,

but it can only manage to do so if wielded by a human.

 

As a form of communication, it is state-of-the-art,

but ultimately it will be what drives us apart. 

 

 

 

 

2 months ago. May 18, 2024 at 7:56 PM

After movings things around a bit I came across some old writings I'd done years ago (decades at this point but who's counting right ^.^)

 

Thought I would share them here, a glimpse into my younger thoughts and psyche. 

 

Please do note these will range from happy, sad, detached etc as they were written in some of my darker and more troubled years.

 

Corner

As an old man sat in his street corner,

a young suit passed him by.

But he was forced to retrace his steps 

as he heard the old man sigh.

 

Perplexed he asked what was the matter,

was the old man in need of a home? 

Did his lack of food and clothing

make him feel all alone?

 

The old man looked on this young 'un

and shaking his head sighed again.

"I pity you boy, for though my journey is close to an end,

the one you are on is very far from done. 

You are right at the beginning.

 

But fear not for I will be here for you,

if you need a friend or a fresh point of view. 

My corner will always be open to you." 

 

The suit shook his head, dropped a penny and walked away,

but the old man just smiled and watched him make his way.

............................................................................................

As I dance along my path

I push my many memories aside. 

For though they are cherished and beloved greatly,

I have come to the awareness that only this moment in time 

has lasting value to me.

 

As I cast my lot in, 

move forward and back again,

in the intricate steps of the dance life is teaching me. 

..............................................................................................

 

I found a little piece of you 

floating above in the clouds.

As I passed by the river you called to me,

your golden voice tinkling, soft sweet words.

My spirit rose as the birds sang with you,

my feet followed their own path.

 

I blinked and found myself immersed in the waters,

the currents are buffering and caressing me, 

your tender touch conveyed by them

as they wash away my foolish worries. 

 

The sun is sinking low as the clouds fly by,

the warmth on my back, on my cheek.

Who could help but smile?

 

For in nature's purest moments 

I am with my maker again,

as I remember all life's wonders

and joyfully I am thankful for all my blessings. 

 

 

4 months ago. March 21, 2024 at 5:59 PM

a

Over in Cork for a while and can't wait to see more of this beautiful country and its wonderful people ❤️.

 

Went for a lovely walk earlier and wanted to share some of the sights, really is an amazing place🥰.

 

5 months ago. February 11, 2024 at 10:10 AM

A dear friend of mine posted something the other day that tickled a memory of another blog I had read a long time ago, but this was in fact years not months/days and I have no clue where to find it🤣. 

So I was wondering if anyone here had any suggestions, info or insights into the topic that could help us learn and explore it more.

 

Now I’m sure it’s not exclusive to little/middles at all but this was related to one specifically at the time (and would be used by some in future).

 

A color chart that breaks down words and emotions when the submissive is feeling too overwhelmed and cannot communicate properly.

 

Oftentimes when someone is in a deeply emotional place, overwhelmed or even extremely excited they lose their words, get jumbled up in what they’re trying to express/communicate or can become tongue tied by nerves and often crippling doubt.

This can also be known as word salad (where everything is just jumbled up inside and you know what you want to say but it comes out incoherently when you try to communicate it verbally).

 

Many times this is connected to triggers, trauma and situations where the person has been injured, hurt or been put into survival mode for long periods of time/similar situations.

 

Below is a vague recollection of what the post/blog described:

A circular chart, with base colors as the initial layer or starting point. This then has a words associated with it, and is broken down into similar words and more colors, which lead to descriptions of emotions or pictures if needed to convey the message one is trying to get across.

If anyone has any experience with this, insight or thoughts would love to hear it.

Better yet if anyone has any recommendations on how to get my hands on this kind of thing that would be even better thank you so much 🫶❤️

Rainbow bubbles and love to all, may it be a beautiful day ahead! 

8 months ago. October 25, 2023 at 6:00 PM

8 months ago. October 22, 2023 at 10:35 AM

9 months ago. October 18, 2023 at 7:26 PM