The quarantine is getting to me. Papa Bear is "essential" which means that homeschooling, managing the house, and our kids are all on me. Pressure brings out my personal strengths but also weighs me down emotionally. I could feel myself winding up. I didn't want to lose my patience with the children, so I directed my energy at the dirty dishes. All the while, I wrestled with the idea of telling my husband that I needed his help. I'm a twin. I'm used to sharing the spotlight. When someone's attention is focused completely on me, I feel nauseous. So I sent him a text that just said, "I need your help," and then took my anxious apprehension out on the bathroom while I waited for his response. He agreed that it was time. The idea of trying something new twisted me into knots. I didn't like it. What was going to happen? What if Papa Bear didn't like it? What if I was awkward the entire time? I started making myself sick, so I swept. Then I confessed that I didn't want to be bent over the bed or even in child's pose. It felt too disconnected. I wanted to have him sit with his back against the headboard, legs straight out, and me laying over them. He thought that was a good idea. It wasn't fair that I was trying to take control of the moment, I can see now that I was, but I needed something that didn't feel unknown.
Anyway...
When the time came, he turned off the tv and put on music, but I couldn't take the attention, so I asked him to turn the tv back on. He chuckled at me, but did turn the tv back on. I laid over his lap. He started small and did quite a bit of warm-up before ramping up the intensity. Long story short... IT WAS AMAZING! Exactly what I needed. Within seconds my mind cleared and it was just sensation. I forgot the tv was even on.
I feel so much better now. Lighter. Excited to wake up tomorrow. He also LOVED it. He said that he started watching the tv (because it was a blacksmith youtube show that he loves) but quickly lost interest and couldn't keep his eyes off of my body.
I can't believe how natural it felt. We came together like we'd done it a hundred times before. If anyone is on the fence about maintenance spankings, I strongly suggest it. Do some research on erotic spanking and how to apply it safely and enjoyably, and then give it a try.
- Jo