The lonely fat girl is laying in bed alone for the 1000th night it a row it seems. She can't sleep. All she can think about is how empty her bed is. A big ol' king size bed. Granted fatty takes up a lot of room, but it is still so empty. Fatty yearns to be loved, to be wanted, to be cherished. But Doms and Daddies only seem to see the fat. They can't seem to see past the rolls, lumps and stretch marks. If they did they may just see a woman with a beautiful soul. A woman who loves and accepts people unconditionally. A woman who will be their #1 ally, fan, and supporter. No, instead the lonely fat girl lays here alone, unable to sleep, with tears rolling down her cheeks.
Fatty has been alone for a long time. Much longer than she has been in the lifestyle. And men were cruel to this lonely fat girl in the vanilla world, but they were much more subtle about it.
Since entering the lifestyle the lonely fat girl has had to put many more stories onto her wall. The cruelty a lonely fat girl experiences in this lifestyle is awful.
Fatty scrolls through her feed. She sees the pictures the men love and comment on. The beautiful women with curves in just the right places. Their beautiful pussies and assholes up in the air for all the men to cherish. And their beautifully shaped breasts keeping the men coming back for more. The lonely fat girl will never be able to give a man a body like that. Even if she loses all the weight they find so ugly she will never have the beautiful curves and beautiful body they seem to crave.
The words this lonely fat girl has heard. These tears rolling down her cheeks represent those hateful words. The men who have told her they don't play with fattties like her. The men who say they have no problem fucking her fat pussy, but they will never be seen in public with her. How about the men who tell her fucking a fat girl is on their bucket list. Or the men who are in "poly" relationships. They tell her she's good enough to have on the side, but she'll never be the priority to them. Instead she'll be the hidden fucktoy.
Of course the lonely fat girl also gets the men who think since she's fat she's desperate and will put up with anything. And they are right. In some instances she has because she was so desperate to be loved. The lonely fat girl has even been told she needs to give up her hard limits because no man wants to put up with those from a fat woman.
The tears roll down this lonely fat girl's face tonight because she so desperately wants some simple things. She wants to be loved. She wants to be someone's grand prize. She wants to know to someone she is the most important thing in the world. She wants to know her Daddy will move heaven and earth to be there for her. And with her. She wants to know she won't ever have to feel like the lonely fat girl again curled up in bed all by herself. Fatty wants to know she is finally loved unconditionally, with all of her faults and imperfections as well as all of her good qualities.
The lonely fat girl wants to know even when she's overthinking things and the anxiety is building and she is afraid Daddy doesn't want her, it's going to be ok. Because when she tells Daddy she's feeling scared and is afraid she's losing him he will recognize it for what it is. He will know it's the hurt from the past eating away at her soul. He'll chat with her more and find time to talk with her. He won't care if someone overhears because his little girl needs him.
Instead when the lonely fat girl thinks maybe she has found her forever Daddy she's afraid to tell him when she feels this way. She can't tell him all her problems and all her feelings or he will decide there's just too much to deal with. So instead fatty starts keeping those thoughts and feelings to herself. Fatty puts them in a box and hides them in the wall with all the other mountains of boxes. But when the lonely fat girl is laying in the bed all alone, she can't hide them anymore. Instead the tears start to flow.
The lonely fat girl lies in bed crying because she needs the release. She needs to feel the pain. She needs the bruises. Tops have tried to give fatty the release she needs. They help a little. At least she gets some of the pain. But those tops have been married. Those tops weren't able to give fatty the aftercare she needs. So fatty didn't give herself completely to them. They didn't get all of fatty's trust because she was going home to deal with it on her own. Or they were leaving to go back to their grand prize in life.
So fatty got a little release, but she still laid in bed alone with those tears rolling down her face. See after the release the lonely fat girl disappears and out comes the lonely fat little who doesn't want to be alone. She's afraid of the shadows of the night. She knows what happens at night. Fatty has seen the scary things coming out of the shadows at night. She needs to be held. She needs to be caressed. She needs to feel Daddy's love.
Someday maybe the lonely fat girl won't be lonely anymore. Someday maybe Daddy will be there with her for all the happies and all the sads. Someday maybe Daddy will give her the release and then keep her safe from what lurks in the shadows. The lonely fat girl holds on to the someday maybes to go on another day.