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The Chimera's Whispers

Musings, whispers, thoughts, opinions, murmurs, and lessons learned from someone new to the Lifestyle.
1 week ago. Feb 9, 2020, 8:12 PM

The world had shifted on it's axis. Before that moment, everything had been a colorful blur. How her day had gone, what she had done, where she had been...A smudge in her timeline. Now, her mind was hyper-focused on singular things. The room was black, the blindfold over her eyes prevented her sight. He had been wickedly clever enough to keep the lights low, so even if she could attempt to be cheeky and peek under the blindfold, she wouldn't see much. The scent of his body-wash permeated around her. Off of her own body, off of his body, it even clung to the sheets.  She focused on those warm calloused hands caressing down her sides; following the rounded curves and dips of her body down towards her thighs before they lifted. The soft breath of his exhales as they traversed down her back. The faint jingle of chains they had bought from the hardware store together. The gentle tug of the O ring of her restraints on her ankles jostled.
He was chaining her ankles together.
She fidgeted as she heard the click of the small locks on the chains. Signalling that even if she had wanted to - she wasn't going anywhere. His hand placed against the back of her shoulders, then pushed gently. She leaned forwards, and soon her own weight was used against her with gravity's pull.  Practically face-first, she was against the bedding. Her assend was up in the air and she fidgeted, trying to slide her knees beneath her to help reposition herself; squirming as she didn't have the use of her hands. It was that moment, something whispered to her. Like a demon, hissing sweet nothings. She loved and hated that whisper. As soon as she heard it, a sting of pain licked across the back of one of her thighs. It caused her back to arch down and she gasped sharply. It wasn't as sharp of a pain as she had before, but it was enough to make her jolt.

"Easy, my pet..." His voice said to her from somewhere behind her,  making her muscles relax. The timbre of his tone had dropped low, a near purr- or was it a growl? She wasn't entirely sure at that moment. Her head turned to try and listen to him more. In response, the crackle of multiple strips of leather was heard and soon, thudded against the middle of her back. Again, again, again. The thudding sensations collided with her flesh, making her sag into the bed and sigh heavily. At the end of it, another lick of pain skittered across her left asscheek- biting her. She jolted again with a yelp that tapered down into moan. Another bite, this time on her other asscheek giving it equal attention, then a sting on her thigh. Focusing in the same regions before something snapped at her outer thigh making her writhe. Soon, in that moment; it had returned to thudding sensations against her mid-back and behind her shoulders. It made her press into the bed more, her chin resting against the bedding as she panted.  It was then, that sting found itself directly between her legs. Making her yelp sharply and jerk in response as white hot pain kissed her labia and clit, causing her womanhood to quiver.  "Mnn... Color?" Came his voice, filled with mild concern at her response. As she caught her breath, her heart having picked up it's pace, her body working through the pain she inwardly took a moment to review herself. She was fine, the pain hurt, but it was already fading, and her womanhood felt warm in result. "Green." she replied faintly. "Good."- she could hear the smile in his tone. At that, the flogger gently tapped against the backs of her thighs before it moved inward. Tapping against her already warmed-womanhood before it gained speed and swat at her again. This time, the leather strips curled. Snapping at her inner thighs and against her labia, making her yowl once more and fidget in place. Before she could recover from that, the flogger found itself against her ass, then her thighs, and her back. Making her writhe as she panted heavily, taking each biting blow as they came.

She could feel it. The heavy sinking feeling. Her mind was slowing down, stumbling, fumbling. Trying to white-knuckle onto thoughts, but they'd slip free and bounce in the same manner trying to clutch a wet soap-bar would happen. It would pop free and drop out of her grip. Unable to truly hold on to it. Pressure had begun to form just beneath her navel, and it was growing. Heat from mingled impacting stings and her own arousal made her feet like she was in a sauna.
"Don't you fucking cum yet, you don't have my permission." His growl warned, right against her ear. She could feel the posts of her own cartilage piercing vibrate in response and she shuddered. "Yes, Sir..." she managed to breathe.

Pressure was felt on her scalp, then aching pain as her head was forced up and back. He had gripped her hair and pulled. Naturally, her jaw clenched shut and she hissed through her teeth primitively, like a caught wild animal. "Open your mouth, my pet." he breathed. There was urgency there, she could hear it. He was aroused. Obediently, her mouth opened. Cold rubber could be felt against her lips and pushing inwards. It was the bar gag. She was all too familiar with it. As it pressed in between her teeth she felt her jaw immediately snap down. Biting into the thick silicone. She always wanted to bite when she was like this, so it was just as well he put a gag in her mouth. Lest it be parts of his body her teeth would find. (Commonly, his shoulder.) She ground her teeth on the bar gag while he fastened it into place behind her head. It dug into the corners of her mouth, and already she felt her own saliva pooling against it. She focused on it. Chewing at the silicone without damaging it, and trying to reposition it in her mouth. The bastard didn't budge an inch.
Her Sir had taken advantage of her distraction and oral fixation. His hand slid into her hair and gripped onto it, making her head lift and her nostrils flared with a sharpened exhale.  Soon, she felt the heat of him against her thighs and tracing inwards. Pressing against her entrance. She felt him throb and she moaned deeply into the gag; the sound muffled and muted. Her body ached as he pushed in slowly. The entrance to her womanhood pushed open by the tip of his length. She could feel him invade the deeper portions of her body and she shuddered, moaning again. Her head inclined up to ease the pressure on her scalp. While she did this, a trickle of saliva escaped from the corner of her mouth and dribbled down the side of her chin, down her neck, down to the bedding. Like a cold, teasing finger tracing the contours of her throat.

He moaned breathlessly when he hilted himself within her pulpy folds, her muscles clenched, then rippled, then released. Only to grip around his manhood once again. As if she were trying to trap him in place. His hips drew back, then drove forwards. Making her fidget and give yet another muffled moan. Her head turned as best as it could with his hand gripping her hair. His grip tightened somewhat as he immediately set the pace. The impact of his body against her bruised and stinging assend and thighs made her recall the pain of the flogger he had been using earlier. Pleasure washed over her, the delight of being taken, and close to him. Her hands writhed against her restraints behind her, and he moved his hand from her hair. Gripping her bound wrists. Soon, his opposite hand collided with the side of her rump in a resounding, open palmed swat. Making her jolt hard and gasp.  His pace increased, his hand came down again, then again. Lavishing her backside with red, fiery handprints.

She must of started sagging into the bed as opposed to keeping her assend up and her body tripod on her knees. His hands curled against her thighs and pulled. Pulling her back up. His movements had become erratic as he pumped into her, his now glistening wet length pistoned in and out, the soft slap of his hips could be heard against her upturned backside. Accompanied by the lewd wet crackle of her wetness being churned, and punctuated by her muffled whimpers and moans, alongside his own.  He was taking precisely what was his.
With it, her mind couldn't focus any longer. It was just her, and him. Despite the blind, she knew her eyes had become glassy in the haze of what she was feeling. Heavy at first, but lighter. Her mind had turned off, flatlined. Faded. Leaving a 'blank screen' as it were. She was descending.
"Ngh... Come now, my pet... Right fucking n-now!" His voice caught somewhat. She could hear his tone change, raise in pitch. He was close. Wildly, the primitive want for him to fill her womb, fill her insides, completely fill her; mark her as his arose and she tried to squirm. The pressure had mounted just beneath her navel and as if he had pressed a button. Heat rushed down her thighs in a heavy wave. Wetness bloomed and trickled around his length and smeared across her thighs as she tensed momentarily. Moaning deeply into the gag, her muscles once again clenching hard, quivering, then releasing. Only to clench once more. 
"Good.. Mpph- Good girl... Nhg!" Her Sir whispered as he soon pushed his hips against her ass, plunging himself deep into her. She could feel the ache of his tip pushing deep into her body and he throbbed somewhat. He was releasing deep within her.  Her moans devolved into soft whimpers against the gag as she finally sagged beneath him. He leaned over her, kissing behind her shoulders and neck. "Very well done, my pet... I'm so proud of you." His arms circled around her as he just let himself rest over her a few moments. Holding her while she drifted, light, airy. Floating off into oblivion temporarily. She couldn't keep up with him now, the world was hazy, and in a fog-like dream. Her wrists and ankles were released and she lay on the bed, splayed out. He removed the gag and she panted there, oblivious her chin was wet with drool. He chuckled and soon, slid into bed with her. Pulling her into his chest while she buried her face into him with a low hum. Inhaling the scent of him.
Her thoughts could return later. For now, she'd float. Nestled in his arms.

1 month ago. Jan 19, 2020, 10:45 AM


For some reason, I'm having issues falling back asleep. I passed out after my Dom and I had a little bit of a 'play' session, and now, I'm having trouble finding sleep again. She's such an elusive creature...
I know he's asleep right now. I'm hoping he gets all the rest he needs for his workday later today.



On my mind, is the thought of punishment. No; I haven't done anything to warrant any punishments. Thank Gods. A friend of mine I was hanging out with earlier tonight was talking to me and joking about how I like punishments, and that's all part of the fun of my dynamic, right? That she'll tell on me to my Dominant to get me into trouble.

Absolutely wrong.

 



Firstly, there is no "Funishments" within in our dynamic. My Dominant doesn't provoke me, or set me up to fail/mess up in the hopes I get in trouble so he can "Punish" me. 
((I get this works for some dynamics, when a sub acts up to get her Dom's attention; or the Dom enjoys punishing his sub in a more playful manner this way- etc. Personally, I do not agree with this; but your kink is not my kink, and what works for my dynamic might not work for yours and vice-versa.))
Personally, I've been through enough and raised up to where, if I'm being punished. It's not fun, you made a mistake, or fuck up and you're going to learn from it. Punishing me for the sake of playfulness would just hurt, and leave me feeling resentful. It would just brood animosity towards my Dominant.

My Dominant has a similar mindset to a degree. Punishments aren't fun. They're not meant to be.  I'm thankful my Dominant is reasonable and logical enough to administer punishments to me when I genuinely deserve them, or the severity of said punishments to fit the "crime" so to speak.

Punishment for me is just that. A punishment. It's not enjoyable, in fact I detest them. I work to avoid them.
Primarily because if I make a mistake? I let my Dominant down. Depending on what I've done wrong, I could have disappointed him. And that hurts so much more than someone just being angry with you.
"I'm not angry... I'm just really disappointed in you..." Ouffff.... That stings.  Especially coming from someone who guides me and means a lot to me.


For some subs, they get spankings. Which can be fun, kinda hot. I've been warned if I do something that warrants it. I'll be kneeling on uncooked rice while holding a penny to the wall with my nose. Each time penny drops? My time starts over. (This sounds hilarious, I guarantee you it's not.)
This is not a complaint, this is an example of what I mean when I say I don't like punishments. 

If I make a mistake, or an error. Chances are, it goes in hand with something important that my Dom needs. A prime example? Is my private Diary posts.
My Dominant has assigned me to write a diary entry every single night before 10pm.  My diary is my safe-space. If I have something in my mind I don't feel comfortable saying to him directly, my diary is a place I can express those feelings without reprimand. This is a tool he uses not only to see how my day went, but to observe my mental state, see what's going on in my mind, and keep our channels of communication open.If I don't post my Diary, or if I'm late on it. Then my Dominant is missing an important tool to observe my health and well-being. Thus, making him unable to do his part as my Dominant. In a long round-about way, it hurts myself.

 



Last time I was late on my diary post, my Dominant had me write lines on a sheet of paper. Front and back. My wrist hurt, my fingers cramped. But, by the Gods, I did it. I grueled through it; and you know what?
Since then. I haven't been late on my damn diary post.

To further my example of my Dom being reasonable in his administering of punishments. A few days ago, I was fighting a massive migraine. I fell asleep in the early evening and woke up around 11:30pm.
My diary had not been posted.
I had expressed to my Dom earlier that day that I wasn't feeling well, I was in bed. He understood I didn't post my Diary because I was sick, and unable to do so.
I was scared I would be punished, and I was upset with myself for letting him down. I immediately informed him I was awake again, apologized for the lack of diary update, updated my diary, then tentatively; I told him I'd accept whatever punishment he'd give me for being tardy on my diary post. He said me knowing he was disappointed in me not being on time was enough of a punishment.It still hurt, but he knew I was sick. He took that into consideration. He understood and wasn't unreasonable about it.

It's key factors like this that make me happy to submit myself to him. It's exactly what I was hoping to find. Yes, I am his. For the most part (We're still slowly working on the power exchange.) he owns me.    And yet, he still remembers that I'm a person. A living, breathing person. Sometimes I'm going to be sick, or unable to do something. And granted, as long as I communicate to him, he'll know and understand.

 

Ultimately. One thing I adore. Is if I do something to warrant a punishment. My Dominant administers my punishment, I do the punishment, and then every time? He tells me he forgives me. (Usually after I apologize again.), then we move on. It's not brought up again. He doesn't hold it over my head, or remind me of it... I'm thankful for this.

Guh- gushing and rambling. I think it's time to crawl back to bed.
But yes. I don't like punishments...

I'm extending a branch/topic of conversation to others.
- Do you get "funishments" in your dynamic?
- How do those occur?

- Do you get punished too if you misbehave? How severe do they get?
- Do you enjoy your punishments if/when you receive them? Hate them?

- Do you like giving your punishments to your sub?
- How severe do you make your punishments?

- HOW do you punish your sub if they misbehave?
- Do you forgive and forget after, or remind them later as a training tool? 


Fill me in~

(If that's not too personal of questions.) 

 

Also yes, I'm reusing old art. Too tired to draw more, plus I don't have time. I gotta crawl back to bed.

1 month ago. Jan 13, 2020, 6:09 AM



Truthfully, this blogpost is more of a "thought-spill." if anything. Just me, free-writing, throwing things onto a page.  Literally spilling thoughts. It's one of my ways to help map out my brain and "take a load off" so to speak.

So with my adventure into the lifestyle in more of a sub's aspect of things.  I'll admit I've learned a lot. Prior to this experience, I knew very little next to nothing on just how DEEP things can go. The different aspects, different dynamics, and how much more there is to these dynamics than what stereotypical media might have one believe. 
(And no, I do not mean 50's shades of gray when I reference the media.)

With it, I've also realized I've grown and molded into something of my own. Like always, true to my little coined alias I use online.
I feel like a chimera.
A conglomerate mish-mash of different things.  No one label really fits me; which is natural.
People aren't meant to be compartmentalized into boxes. No one label "fits" all.



It wasn't until a few months ago did I discover some new, darker, deeper portions of my own psyche and embraced them. 

I've found with a DD/lg dynamic - I adore the tenderness that's there. The way one will take care of the other and vice versa. In my own ways, I too can fall into aspects of such. Be it my silliness, my love for soft stuffies/blankets, pillow forts, coloring/crafts, blowing bubbles, and more. Simpler, cuter activities that I often times quietly enjoy on my own. I do get bratty and playful, sometimes just childishly stamping my foot and saying "NO!" just for the sake of saying "no." to see what reactions I get.

With a Owner/pet or Master/pet dynamic - I'm still learning some things. But, I've found some of the things I just do subconsciously can be quite animalistic. (A prime example is for someone I really care about, I'm not afraid to rub my face on them, or give a subtle touch on their arm, or press against their side.) Which works well in such a dynamic. I actually enjoy the idea now of being placed into a cage for whatever reason; it's grown on me. Even dedicated bowls placed for me to use I enjoy (though, feeding me on the ground out of a doggie dish, I'm not interested in. That's a more humiliating aspect I dislike. ) 

Like the DD/lg dynamic. I adore the tenderness and sweetness that can be there. The way one takes care of another - and I often consider that stability there, the dependability is especially appealing. Which is odd to me because truthfully? I did have a happy childhood. Granted, there's a few bumps in that road - but overall it was a good childhood.

And thanks to my Dom, I have found I enjoy impact play. So much so I actually dreamed about it the other day when I was resting since I wasn't feeling well. I actually felt my muscles relax when I dreamed about receiving a beating... I wouldn't necessarily say a "painslut" for such. But, the fact I dreamed about getting hit with floggers and such while chained to a post mildly surprised me. I dunno, developing masochist a little bit? The thought of getting hit with a flogger and such doesn't turn me on like it would some others. I ease into it and flow into the sensations as they happen, and grow into them.  So hence why I'm skeptical of even considering such a title. 

I enjoy some primal aspects too. Like struggling, being difficult. Growling, snarling, biting, etc. Essentially making someone 'win' the right to 'mate'.  Though, my Dom hasn't overly touched into this really. I have experienced it in my past, and can be a lot of fun I've thoroughly enjoyed it.

I know there's a few other things I've dabbled in, that I'm just not remembering right now since I'm coming out of a migraine.

It's a strange winding road. One of which I'm extremely curious about, and eager to learn more. What about others?
Do you all find yourselves blurring lines and falling into multiple things, or pulling traits of other types of dynamics with you as your own?
What about Doms too? Not just subs.  Do they find themselves in those crossroads too? More than one 'label' apply?



In the end... I know it boils down to we all just want to find someone else we connect with, or just looking to have fun.
So long as they're safe, sane, and consensual. Why not? 

 

1 month ago. Jan 4, 2020, 5:19 AM

Tick,
         tick,
                tick,
                        tick...

She could hear it. The persistent ticking of her wall clock nearby, coupled with the white noise of her box-fan facing towards her bed blowing air. It was a wonder she could potentially fall asleep with the noise, but she could. In fact, usually the cool breeze generated by the box fan coupled with the sound almost immediately made her muscles relax.

But, tonight something was missing. There was a variable missing in the equation.  The bed felt bigger. Roomier. Spacious. Which, most people might of found to be delightful.

She despised it.
She prided herself on being the sort of creature that nested and burrowed into the bedding. A conglomerate of blankets, pillows, stuffies, and other soft things she had accumulated. Even with it cluttered with these soft things it still missed something vital. It missed Him.   Pondering the absence over in the darkness of her room, the faint flicker of light from her monitor's screen saver made shadows dance on the walls from across the room. Slowly her face turned. Burying into the silk of the shirt he had left behind with her. His scent had long since faded from it, and the trick of balling it around the puffy wash-sponge he left behind as a backup no longer worked.


The shirt had been since washed, and now it smelt like her, and her room. Just the presence of it used to be enough to help her drift to sleep. Tonight, it seemed; would be more difficult than the others. She lay there, resting her cheek on the breast pocket of the shirt, mimicking how her cheek might press to his chest were he to wear it.
A sigh escaped her and her fingers curled into a loose fist by her mouth. Her mind wandered, curious as to what he might of been up to on his side of the spectrum. Her eyes closed, feigning sleep. Maybe pretending might coax the elusive creature that is slumber to dubiously come forth.
She tried to imagine his fingers slowly brushing through her hair, down the back of her head, neck, and back. The slow rhythmic breathing.
In...  Out...  In...  Out...
The faint sound of his heartbeat under her ear. Even the relatively awkward sounds of organs squelching and working within his body. She tried to focus on those things, recall them back to the forefront of her mind.
The whir of the box fan faded. The ticking of her wall clock droned on- unnoticed. 
She felt heavier. Like she was sinking into her bed a little. Her heart beat slowed, her breathing deepened.
Ah.... There it was... Sleep began her embrace, as if she were lured by the thoughts of the piece her bed was missing.  As sleep began to embrace her, she comforted both herself and slumber with a single faint phrase, low and barely audible.
"Soon... Very soon... He'll be here... Soon..."

1 month ago. Jan 1, 2020, 10:52 PM

I know here in my household, new years day we eat a new years supper which I can never get enough of.

 

Collard greens, corn bread, pork roast, black eyed peas, and mac n cheese.

 

Today I got to help out [[which is a big first considering my mom gets fiercely territorial/protective over the kitchen]]

 

 

Maaaaaaaan, I ramped up today. This is my mac n cheese in the oven, baking. 

I topped it with bread crumbs, a sprinkle of bacon bits, and paprika. 

Hell yes. Will post another pic when it's done.

 

 

:::EDIT:::

 

it's done baking.

 

Huzzah!

 

1 month ago. Jan 1, 2020, 3:08 AM



 

 

 

 

 

Oh dear Gods... The Cage released the ability to send voice-clips on Bond. Which, honestly I like the idea since I'm a little bit of an audiophile. I love different sounds, noises, music, and voices. I adore my Dom's voice, it's inflections, it's pitches, the way it gets throaty and lower when he's in the mood. The way he laughs, even the hitched breathless moans during climax~ Mmph... Moving on-

I'm also very curious/nosy.

So if I can hear what other people sound like, I'm very curious! I'm guilty of snooping through people's profiles and listening to the sound bites they might have on their profile page, just to see what they sound like. Is there an accent? No accent? Maybe they have a lisp? Maybe a piercing they have adds a slight whistle when they talk, maybe they're really quiet? Or loud?

I like the timbre or the mellifluous tones. Almost like different colors.


However, when I say this. I do worry that now opens the door for unwanted/uninvited people trying to solicit things via voice.
Which, I will say if anyone's that foolish; they run the potential risk of getting told off by voice. (You don't want that, trust me.)

So, we'll see how it goes!

 

 

Looking over 2019... Truthfully? It was a bunk year... When I say 'bunk' I don't mean the bed. I mean it was a ridiculous, bunkum year.
There was a lot of trials and tribulations this year.

My mother has survived cancer, and the handful of complications that came with surgery. Things didn't look good for her for little awhile...
The person I thought I was going to marry and spent the rest of my life with I realized was manipulative and emotionally abusive, and I was a victim of abuse for quite a few years out of a 10 year relationship; and even after the fact I keep discovering more and more, like that they were cheating on me.  A lot. I had a scare that I might of had Endometrial cancer, and in the end was diagnosed with PCOS. (Polycystic ovary syndrome)


The stress got to a point, I actually had a complete mental meltdown for the first time ever.I actually gave up on myself for a few weeks. (Not suicidal. Moreso just... Depressed, I didn't bother taking care of myself like I should.)


I had some really great days -  I also had some bad ones.

 


I had moments to be extremely proud of; and I've also had moments where I'm completely ashamed of myself.

I made some friends, and I lost some.

I learned some lessons, and taught a few too.

 


I've learned a great many deal of lessons this year. Primarily, about myself, and my mental health; which I realize I didn't pay attention to much until this year.
But, I made it. I'm here. I'm still going. I'm stronger than I was last year.

I'm not one for New Years resolutions. We all know that's just empty promises. But, what I will say is that I'm finding optimism again. I'm reacquainting myself with looking on the brighter side of things as opposed to all the icky muck that's dark and troublesome. 

I'm hoping 2020 brings many new opportunities, successes, good health, good vibes, and growth.  It's a dawn of a new day while the previous year sets behind us.

And while we celebrate this evening with friends, family, strangers, what-have-you. I'm not going to ask what your New Years Resolution is.
But instead.

I'm going to hope that you get your wishes fulfilled. Your goals reached. Desires obtained. I'm going to hope that 2020 is a step up and forwards.

Here's to hoping.
Cheers.
- Chimera

1 month ago. Dec 26, 2019, 12:32 AM

 

From this little corner of the interwebs to your's. Yule, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa-- whichever holidays you celebrate. I hope they're joyful and bright.

3 months ago. Nov 9, 2019, 6:11 AM

So working a bit more tonight; here's the first look at Sethro. (He prefers "Seth" for short)





"NO!!!" She snarled at him; tiny voice a near shriek in defiance. Seth just rose a brow and smiled patiently. "Yes." he replied simply, making the 6 inch doll-like Totem bristle in contempt.
"NO KISSES!!!" She snarled, stamping a tiny foot on the tabletop she stood on.
"If you want food now, I get a kiss. No kiss? No food... It's good stuff tonight, I cooked steak."  The tiny totem stamped her foot again, that reptillian-leonine tail swaying behind her to and fro. Mirroring her mounting ire. "HNNNNG!!--" she whined.
"So, Ammie." he sighed, as if casually discussing the weather. "Kiss?" he was giving her that lazy, crooked grin now.

She glared at him, then plopped onto her buttocks and pouted.

"One kiss..." she grumbled and he slowly leaned down to her level. "Bite me and you're going in the cage again." he murmured and her cheeks reddened. That had been precisely what she had in mind.
He leaned in closer and then stopped. Leaving it up to her to complete the action. Defiantly her head turned and her itty bitty mouth pressed to his own, her eyes squeezed shut and her brows were knitted.
"Chu!~"



3 months ago. Nov 8, 2019, 6:06 PM

So, I figured y'all might like more work I've made of this character "Ammit" I've been designing.

 

 

 

CROCOLION TAIL!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

[all images here are copyrighted to me, please do not reuse, copy, sell, or redistribute my work.]