my mouth is a fire escape

I’m a pretty interesting person (and terribly humble) so go ahead and ask me what you’d like. 

I had to go in to my office today for the first time since we've been back and it struck me as I was driving that I get to come home to her. 

I get to come home to the woman I love, serve, cherish, and adore and who I know feels the same way about me. Going home is fun now. Hopefully there'll be some sexy fun times, but also I just look forward to laying in bed next to her (and our crazy menagerie) and watching TV, playing Animal Crossing together (anyone need friends?), eating snacks, and laughing a lot. 

I'm happy, ya'll (she's teaching this yank to talk Southern) and it's all her fault. 

Don't worry. I'm sure I'll be back to being an angsty curmudgeon soon. But for now, this boi is finally happy. 

(Reminder: wash your hands and wear a fucking mask and don't be a racist). 

I assure you that in the time of covid, police brutality, revolution, and my beloved finally coming home to me I am not reporting anyone as the tears of a mediocre white man literally mean nothing to me.

I'm having far too much fantastic sex to troll anyone and you mean absolutely nothing to me. 

Get a life, quit being a victim, and find another tree to piss on. 

Love, 

Laura 

#blacklivesmatter

Happy Pride!

Remember:

* The first pride was a riot led by trans women of color. Keep fighting. 

* True pride is intersectional. My liberation is wrapped up in yours. 

* Pride isn't corporate- it's a movement. It's not about the rainbow Absolut Vodka or cool t-shirt (though I like both). It's about our freedom to love and live

* Keep practicing social distancing... it sucks but our community remembers how a virus can decimate and devastate. 

* CELEBRATE YOURSELF

Q: What do lesbians drive to a second date?

A:  U-Haul.

It's been a few more than 2 dates, but we're making the stereotype happen, folks. 

Almost one year ago I experienced the greatest heartbreak I'd experienced. My (vanilla) partner of 5 years broke up with me after our dream vacation, telling me she was no longer in love with me. I took it hard, withdrawing into myself and destining myself to never find love again. I did want to find a play partner though, because after 5 long years of no kink I was ready to get beat. I had a string of bad dates to meet potential play partners and then started hanging out and making out with a long time friend. I also found the Cage and started chatting. 

Enter Djinni. We chatted a bit, and then I traveled to DC for work. Then we chatted a lot (and I got a LOT of super hot pictures. She's crazy hot, ya'll) and then it came out that she had feelings for me (and I had 'em back, I was just a hot mess). A few months later (after she was EXCEEDINGLY patient and never gave up on me) I gave in, visited her in November, ended things with the kissing friend, and well, here we are. She was supposed to come visit me a couple months ago and covid-19 went and fucked that all up. So we're taking the leap. 

I don't do things like this. It takes me weeks to decide on a pair of shoes, so this has been a big decision. A big, exciting decision. I've never gelled with someone so easily. I was just remarking to my best friend last night that I've never been in a relationship this easy. This genuine. This perfect blend of romance, D/s, kink, silliness. She see's me for who I am, and laughs at the goofy boi, and gently reminds the naughty boi who is in charge. 

THUS, we are going full lesbian and U-Hauling it across the country in less than 3 weeks. She is moving from her hometown in Atlanta, to mine in Denver. I'm flying out there and then we're driving back with a car full of dogs and shoes (don't believe her in her blog. She literally has 2000 pairs of shoes). She's leaving her job, her friends, the city she's lived in (not gonna lie, I really like Atlanta. It actually feels a lot like Denver. Now, everything I love will be in the city and state I love, and I can't be more excited. She's going to have to deal with a lot- my family is whacky, and I'm in the middle of considering leaving a stable career to go back to school to earn a Ph.D, so that fact that she's willing to deal with all this to be with me says a lot. 

This will be change for both of us. But a very, very exciting change. The Cage can drive me bonkers some days (it's so hard to keep my mouth shut... 16 years of real life experience tends to make me a little cocky) but I'm grateful for it because it brought me my forever. 

(In case any of my "fans" are reading.... this has nothing to do with anyone else's post and I've been working on it for days)

Covid-19 is fucking with my love life, just as I'm sure it is with many of yours. I mean, I hope to God that it is because we owe it to each other to stay home and stop the spread of this thing. We Americans, especially the young healthy ones, seem especially bad at this, and science shows that the worst is yet to come. We all need to act like we all have this virus and stay the fuck home unless you have to work, grocery shop, go to the doctor, etc.(See below for one of my current favorite tweets). 

Back to my love life, though. Djinni and I live 1200 miles apart. It has been one month and two days since I last saw her. 32 days feels like an eternity when all you want is to be in your person's arms and at their feet. She was supposed to come to Denver for a week to make sure she truly wants to be here (and with me) before packing up her life and dogs and becoming a Coloradan (we're only turning away folks from CA and TX- sorry!). We've been trying to plan how to make this trip work in a way that is safe, and are beginning to accept that it just isn't going to happen right now. 

And I'm devastated. I have wanted to show her my beloved state since we first met. I want to take her to my favorite coffeehouse, my favorite restaurants. I want to drive the length of Colfax together so she can go down the longest continuous street in the US. I want to drive her into the mountains so she can experience God the way I do, through the wonders of nature. I want her to meet my friends and hear "dumb Laura" stories, about the times I got drunk and did dumb things, the silly things we've done through the years. I want her to meet my family, my crazy, unstable, dysfunctional, rock of a family. I want to share my bed with her, a bed I've only slept in by myself (except for my dog and cat of course). Speaking of my dog, I want to see them love each other, my best girls loving on each other (okay Djinni's no girl, but you all know what I mean). 

Here's the thing though. As much as we want to see each other, we both feel a responsibility to our friends, families, co-workers, communities, and our country. I'll be the first to admit I'm a shitty patriot... But I do care about others and firmly believe that my right to freedom ends when it impedes anothers. I'm pretty sure I'll weather this without much issue. I have a terrible immune system and catch everything but am pretty healthy otherwise. I live with my 74 year old mother though, who has chronic bronchitis and comes down with pneumonia very easily. Thus, I am committed to staying at home as much as is possible. I'm working from home, a difficult feat for a social worker used to in person visits, and I feel helpless for my clients. They are all formerly homeless and while they are housed, they are struggling the same way we all are- losing jobs, getting sick, running out of toilet paper. I'm a fixer and I can usually lead people to fix their own problems. I can't do that right now and it fucking sucks. But I'm staying home because even though they are struggling, they are still alive and I feel it is my responsibility to contribute to them staying alive (insert disco here). 

So... Here I am, alone in my basement bedroom with only my emotionally unstable cat for company (my fickle dog is upstairs playing with the other boxer in our house), checking in with clients for whom I can only offer an empathetic ear and a referral to a food pantry. I'm sad, really sad, that this fucking pandemic is screwing with my plans to be with my beloved and share my life with her, the way she has shared hers with mine. But here's the thing. Despite our loneliness and devastation, at our core we are both good people who care about the people around us, and are willing to make the sacrifice to put our time together on hold so that we might do our part to keep this contained. And because I know that we have forever together to experience these things, I can handle this. 

Please, please PLEASE don't value your loneliness and horniness more than you value the lives of the people around you. I get it. I truly do. I'd give my left hand (I'm a righty but my left hand has.....other value) for her to be in my bedroom with me right now. I'm lonely too- I miss my friends, my leather brothers, my co-workers and clients. But we are all in this together, and even if I can't stand you I want you to come out of this in one piece. Please listen to science... the WHO and CDC (for as much as they are allowed to..) are giving us scientifically accurate information. It's okay to be scared of this, to have false bravado about this. But for the love of God (or just the people around you) stay home. Thank your grocery store workers and health care workers (and social workers.... cause my friends and colleagues are still walking the streets to get homeless folks, families, veterans, inside to safety) and stay the fuck home. I literally ache for her... but I'm staying the fuck home and so is she (though... being with her is capital "H" Home). 

For keeping the Cage a place where consent and general decency are the norm! 

It's not hurt feelings when someone says something illegal, unethical, or dangerous and it gets refuted or removed. Freedom of speech only goes so far. 

The Cage is a place where no one should have to encounter anything illegal or dangerous. That shit gives us a bad rap as kinksters. Be devious, be filthy, engage in CnC, just don't be assholes. 

You call her he

But I call her a woman you'll never get the likes of. Curves, perfume, makeup, purses, glitter. So much fucking glitter. Little reminder of her love for me stuck on my skin till the end of time.

You call her my master

I could only be so lucky to be owned by a woman like her. You will never know the joy of this quality of relationship or of possessing someone so completely.

You call her offensive

I call her a champion, an advocate, brave, the opposite of your narcissistic, victim self. She'd lay herself down for anyone worthy. Hell, she wouldn't even care if you're worthy. She's that good of a person. 

You call her aggressive

I call her passionate about making sure everyone knows about predators like you. She takes shit from no one. Carries a big stick AND a heart of gold.

I call you a creeper, a martyr, nothing really. Not worth the amount of time and energy I've spent on you.

I call her my Beloved. My everything. Keeper of my heart and soul. Ma'am, baby, goof troop. The woman who I will spend the rest of my life with.