Dammit. Here it is. The depressing blog (though it ends in affirmation). I'm trying to get it out of the way and hopefully not revisit this place again. But things happen, so I won't bet on a pain free future. I will, however, bet that I won't make this same mistake again.
What happened, you say? Well, I happened! So let me explain.
I received a message some time ago from a cutie pie interested in chatting. I obliged and before I knew it, we were stuck in conversation all day everyday. Things escalated rather quickly and we began making plans for the future. It was exciting. And then, as some of y'all have well known to experience, I was boo-hoo'd. I use "boo-hoo" in place of "ghosted", because it most resonates with everything I was feeling. I thought I found a boo-thang, but instead I was left whimpering at the nothingness of absence.
I know ghosting happens. I know that as an action, it has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with another person's inability or disinterest in communicating effectively. What I also know is that if someone isn't being careful to guard their heart and emotions, that ghosting can be very painful to the ghosted. Depressing even. And so, when I say that "I happened" and "I won't make this same mistake again", what I'm really saying is that I've got to be more proactive about managing my emotions. I allowed this individual's disappearance to hurt me a lot more than it should have.
So what can I and should I do differently next time? Perhaps start with not being such a fuckin sap?! But mainly, appreciate slowness and my own truths. I guess when I get to talking about things with someone who "gets me", I get caught up in the excitement of feeling acknowledged and validated. "I know what you mean" and "I think thats why it's been so easy to talk and be me around you" is what they said.
It was so easy for me to talk and be me around them too. Too easy. Easy enough to forget how powerful I was. Correction... How powerful I am. Forget the validation, forget their absence. All others would be blessed to be in my presence.
So the lesson learned is that I will remained affirmed in never forgetting that I'm a fuckin Goddess.
