Being a teacher I always tiptoed around teaching about evolution but every year I have to. I have to teach how living things change over time to better survive in their environment.
Well here I am. Growing into adulthood and also into my confidence in BDSM. And here now I feel it. I am evolving.
At the beginning of my journey I spent 9 months with a Master who loved me until his mental health prevented him from being safe. To heal from the scars he left I ran to the comfort of ddlg and my little space. I ran to men who were not strict and did not punish. I adapted and evolved to develop a bratty side which kept Doms at a distance and kept me safe. Or did it. Yes perhaps I didnt have to fear the strictness that once hurt me. But I longed for the submission which once made me soar.
After some personal and BDSM loss i have spent the past few weeks sitting. Thinking. And developing a view of what I truly what. Where i want my final evolution to be. And with that...i have stepped back into a journey to find my Master again. The man who can bring me to my knees in pure love and respect. I desire to serve him and be his forever.
In this time i have also realised my true joy for the poly lifestyle. I want to be able to share my Dom with others and to have a sister slave.
And there are aspects of little and pet play which i enjoy too. But the biggest part of this evolution i am embracing is the freedom. The freedom and the peace accepting these parts of me brings. I cannot wait to see where this journey leads.