Written on Sunday but waited till had permission from my bio family to post. Hope this helps someone.
Last night i lost a family member and dear friend to the idea that things wont get better. That they will stay the same. That the pain will continue and the only way out is for everything to end. Let me tell you they do get better. I say this not as someone who has never been there but someone who has been there 6 times. Attempted to end the pain 6 times. And every single time after I tried I instantly regretted it and luckily survived.
I know sometimes even in the BDSM world. Even where we have physical pain to release emotional pain. Even where we have aftercare and support and the comfort of each other. There can be times where it seems like it is all too much. So I am here to say it does get better. Rainbows do come after rain storms. The storms do start. The light does come after a dark night. Cling onto hope. And when you cant find hope cling onto dreams and if you don't have dreams cling onto the knowledge that all bad things have an end and all good things a start. Remember you are worth fighting. You are worth living. You deserve joy and hope and life.
And as a survivor now of several peoples suicides remember there are people out there who care. Even if you do not feel it. Even if they seem to not care I promise they do. And no matter your pain. No matter how much of a burden you feel for reaching out. I promise you they would rather you "bother them" than be gone forever. There is hope. There is a future. There is a reason to live.
RIP Uncle Steve. You will be missed. And as we all know and now feel....earth lost an angel last night. Be at peace. Be free. We love you.
