I, like the velveteen rabbit, have been made REAL. I have gone through the process of seeing my own truest self and nature. I know WHO I am, and that can never be taken from me.
I am a slave hearted submissive with a heart the size of the ocean and an emotional capacity wider than the sky.
I am a woman of Faith, though a believer of the truth and validity many religions.
I am a singer, a trained chef, and an amateur artist of no remarkable talent ^__^.
I am above all else; myself, the velveteen slave.
The Man who "made me Real" has moved on from the chapter of my life, however I will always remain with the deep and abiding understanding of who I am; for "once you are made real you can never be made unreal again."
This blog is a catalogue of my journey. It includes the lessons that I've learned while walking down my path. It serves to help me remember those lessons that I might retain them. It is my hope that it can provide insight to others as well, perhaps spark an understanding or a feeling of camaraderie.
~The Velveteen slave; Faith; His Mikayla{MstrJ}
*The girl accepted MstrJ's collar on 2/10/22 and her new name; Mikayla <3
I was able to pick up a sentimental surprise to share with Him and the parents. Very pleased about that!
The first flight was lovely.
Had a bizarre moment going through security in Paris... they had a very gard time letting me pass with my corset. They flagged me on the scanner, patted me down twice, went after it with the metal detector which was buzzing at the bra strap, the front hook and eye closures, the boning, and the crotch clasps. When it was beeping between my literal legs in front of God and country I exasperatedly said: it's a corset fir goodness sakes and lifted my sweater and shirt to show it off. So THAT happened. Thank God Master hadn't asked me to fly with my plug in or I'd likely be in a closed room explaining THAT ONE. No thank you.
Very Very Very excited to get the stupid long flight from Paris to Vancouver over with.
*I'm doing that whole little dog shiver excited thing*.
T-3 hours till I get out the door.
I can't wait till I'm through security, through checkpoints and just waiting for the flight. For me, that's when it's *REAL*.
I'm equally torn between throwing myself into His arms... kissing Him for all I'm worth... or ending up in kneel with my head on His toes right there in the airport. Not even close to kidding.
HURRY UP AND BE TOMORROW ALREADY!!!
~His slave Mikayla~
He found the song, then promptly lost it 😄 I'm taking it as a challenge. I know the artist... now I just have to listen and guess which one the song was.
So ready to get on a plane to get back home to Him.
So ready for all that is possible this trip.
It's been a long few months, but at the same time it has flown by quicker than last year.
This time last year we were waiting to welcome him here, and that was a very different feeling. Both are wonderful and good. When welcoming Him here the focus is on giving Him an amazing experience, and also on family time. It was really exciting to know that I had this huge surprise for our daughter. Watching her sit at the airport and telling her to just watch the door, that she would know her Christmas gift when it got here. Watching her eyes light up and she gasped "MstrJ!" and ran to Him. Then showing Him life here, all the good, and beautiful, and weird, and wtf that life is here... it was excellent. However, there are limitations at that point. W/we have to be cautious about what W/we can say and do, and again, small ears and eyes are involved. So it was absolutely wonderful, but also to be honest, limiting as well.
Going Home to Him is completely different.
There is a very unique excitement and anticipation. W/we get to exist very differently. There are no small ears or eyes, and no expectations aside from His.
Yes, W/we have family to consider, and this time that has meant altering O/our initial plans. Little do they know their kindness and care has completely disrupted plans for a hell of a scene W/we have been planning for WEEKS. (They are really keen to meet us for dinner when I get in, as opposed to a few days later). However, the fact that they *want* to interact and want to be there to welcome me back home is very important to acknowledge. In a way, that's their support of the relationship and what they can do to be involved and show consideration.
This time, at least at this moment, there are not nerves. That's new. This is the first time that I'm not at all nervous. I know that He knows me. I know that He is fully aware of every thing I have to offer, and every drawback that comes with me. I know that I will not disappoint Him in any way, and I know that He wants me...
This trip has a different focus than previous ones. The first time it was just feeling eachother out really, and seeing if in person clicked. That was 3 years ago.
Then was that summer and that was to see His space and see if W/we got on in living life life for a short time.
Then I went back for last Spring break and that was dipping my toe into Winter, and honestly, W/we were so starved for affection it was "filling the cup".
Last summer it was seeing how W/we got in in the same space over an extended time. Do W/we do "life life" well, or will we drive each other nuts or anything.
Each stage has just a slightly different feeling.
This time all of that groundwork is done. W/we have all those answers and all of that baseline. Now it's coming home and now W/we are going to get to dive just a little deeper into dynamic. It's exciting. It's coming home. truly. No nerves, just ... anticipation.
There are times when I'm sitting here and I'm just overcome with gratitude for all that He is, and all that He has helped me through, over, and to accomplish.
A very long time ago someone who was important to me was talking about Karma and I was a little sad, usually when we talk about Karma that way, it's a bad thing. Then He stopped me dead in my tracks and said: "My darling girl, what ever would make you think that? YOU are very likely the greatest GOOD I've ever been blessed to have. YOU are what rights the scales for all of the hell I've been through and back from." This is the same man who told me that there was nothing "Happy median" about me... (I'm balls to the walls, all in, cannonball style GERANIMO!" Two of the greatest compliments I've ever gotten... but now I know exactly what that man meant, because I'd turn exactly that sentiment around and say: "Yeah... and now I've found mine. The greatest Good I've ever been blessed with."
I tell Him on occasion that I could not have dreamed Him up, or prayed for Him because I did not know He could exist.
in 1 week I'll be in Vancouver waiting for my plane to get me HOME to His arms.
A little snippet of life that I found unbelievably funny.
Him: "So *name of Master's sister in law* is recovering from surgery... she... well she had her boobs done. So I messaged to check on her. "
me: "Wait wait wait... *ROFL*... so you messaged Your brother to check to be sure your sister in law's boobs are okay?"
Him: "Well, yeah... but in the process I also asked him how it went and if the doctor was good etc. I told him we were looking into someone for your boob lift for your 40th."
me: <<<<busts out laughing. Wait. I can't. You asked your brother about info for my boobs. Awesome. Good to know this is a topic of conversation.
I can't decide if it's funnier, more awkward, or more refreshing that this is the kind of honesty our relationships have now.
By the by I ADORE all people involved. His brother is really a gem of a man, and his sister in law is someone I'd be friends with if I met her in ANY circumstance. She's one of the prettiest people I've ever met irl, but she also works damn hard at it too.
Guess I know what I'm doing summer of 2025!
~
His slaveMikayla
edit: and yes, I'm the one who wants the lift. I've had that on my list for my present to myself for my 40th for a decade now. I've got GREAT boobs, but after 2 pregnancies and nursing for 2 years, and a huge amount of weight loss they could use some *heeelllppp*.
Coming right up on 4 years, which is mind blowing to me. I'm sitting here on the sofa just outside of 2 weeks until I get to go back home to Him and I wrote something to Him that I'd like to keep here forever.
It's not the most eloquent thing ever, and I don't expect any of it to matter or make sense to anyone else, this is just for U/us.
I fucking love O/our life. I know it's just a shadow of the past and future... but god I love O/our life! I'm sitting here tearing up thinking about the past and the future. Memories and aspirations. Thank You for existing. Thank You for loving me. THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME. I'm stupidly crying over cruise memories, and the little cottage, kayaking and hiking at 6 am... firepits and family bbqs, water balloon fights and apple bobbing... reupholstering chairs and a sofa... curtains and sunburn care, hot tubs and waterslides so many times I swear I could barely walk that night... swinger hotels and nudist colonies, food trucks and Celebration, dancing in a macaroon store, Golf caddying, and Birdies, trying new things, learning I love liquor (in moderation), and wings, and never forget kinky Costco trips, and me losing my mind over Bass Pro Shop, Stampede and the biggest Zucchini ever.... There is no part of our history that I dont fucking love. I want all of it. Forever. Please.
Here's to a heck of a list of memories to love, and that's all W/we've packed into 4 years! Imagine the next 14? I'll aim for 40. <3
...a heated massage pillow, perfect for getting knots out of legs... and warming up frozen toes for a girl not used to the true cold.
...still calling O/our daughter "Big girl" with a giant smile and a true listening ear to every detail of her day, even when He'd much rather be spending sexy time with His "little girl" ... aka me.
Love is...
a big tub of Peanut Butter with the words carved into the top...
Love is
...a big ol black notebook filled with scene plans
Love is...
knowing EXACTLY what my heart's desire is even before I say it.
I'm a teacher, incase you didn't know. Not just by profession, but in every aspect of my life. I love words. I love to understand them and feel them deeply.
Deeply held morality, a code of ethics is actually sexy AF to me. Every man I've deeply loved has had one. I have a habit of looking around and reading the words people surround themselves with. If I visit your home and you have something written on a plaque you better bet I'm reading it.
I'd like to share the words that my Master has chosen to surround himself with... had I known nothing else about Him aside from these words, he'd have been someone I wanted to get to know.
The World Needs Men
The world needs men who cannot be bought;
whose word is their bond;
who put character above wealth;
who possess opinions and a will;
who are larger than their vocations;
who do not hesitate to take chances.
The world needs Men
who will not lose their individuality in a crowd;
who will be honest in small things as in great things;
who will make no compromise with wrong;
whose ambitions are not confined to their own selfish desires.
The world needs People
who will not say they do it “because everyone else does it;”
who are true to their friends through good report and evil report, in adversity as well as in prosperity;
who do not believe that shrewdness, cunning and hardheadedness are the best qualities for winning success;
who are not ashamed or afraid to stand for the truth when it is unpopular, who can say “no” with emphasis, although all the rest of the world says “yes.”
Have I mentioned lately exactly how much I love this Man? When I entered His home it was sitting laminated on His bedside... before I left that time it was hanging above the same bedside. This time, it will be framed. The world does need those Men, but at least I know He is One.
One of the concepts that I have written on before and haven't in a while came back due to something I just read.
Submission doesn't live in doing the things you WANT just because you're given permission. Submission lives in doing the things you'd really rather not do, but for the sake of the One you are with and the commitment to your dynamic you find the grace to say "For You, I will". THAT is submission.
To me, that is beautiful, and I'm grateful for all the ways I'm permitted to submit to Him and His will.