Labels are important things. Especially in this lifestyle, we often find it necessary to reevaluate how we describe ourselves to make it clear what we are interested in and looking for.
I often cringe when the word ‘kink’ is used to describe one’s interests. Obviously, to many in the BDSM world, kink accurately describes what you do. But for others, especially those of us who are more on the D/s end of the spectrum, ‘kink’ just doesn’t fit.
More modern labels have been added to the mix. No longer just homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, we can expand that to pansexual, asexual, demisexual, sapiosexual, etc., and finding where you fit can be an eye-opener and narrow down the type of relationship you’re looking for
I identify as a demisexual/sapiosexual domme, which clears up a lot of confusion when answering questions. What that means is I will not get involved in a sexual relationship with anyone unless there is an emotional attachment, and I find intelligence very attractive. It doesn’t have to be love (as in my case, I’m not looking for romance; I’m looking for devoted submission and service), but it does have to be based on trust and commitment, and it is a lengthy process
This concept confuses a lot of people who can’t wrap their heads around the concept that a dominant often needs an emotional connection before the sexual attraction kicks in (and, in fact, for me, the act and gift of submission IS the attraction). If you’re struggling in your search for a perfect fit, consider reevaluating your labels.
