It has been two years since he came to own the company. In the beginning I had no idea that he would change the company so much the first day he came in he fired our bookkeeper of ten years no explanation just let her go later I found out from my father who sold him the company that she was embezzling not a great deal but still he then instructed me to lay off two of the sub contractors and use two others instead this is not uncommon in the field but still unexpected. Last year he hired a secretary to take my place and promoted me to his personal assistant I was now helping him run two companies loosely related to each other but matching up nicely as he was now able to use the sub contractors almost year round. Then he had me insure all of the employees under one company. He then restructured the payment prosses that cut his income but with the increases of business he made more money then before he bought me a new truck to have me go to job sites to keep track of materials used and make sure that they matched what was ordered. we got along better then I expected. for a man so outwardly cold he showed me that he had a very loving care for the men and women who helped the companies grow.
So why have I started this journal, I'm not sure but something has changed with me not him he is still the same demanding person I met two years ago but now I am feeling something deferent for him. We have gone to dinner many times and he has always kept it strictly business but I have noticed a softness developing in me to him a need to care for this man I find I want him to tell me to do sexual things to him, not make love the way I was told how love develops you know the whole falling in love with him seducing me and me letting him. No just the opposite I have begone having fantasies of being for lack of a better word his toy and want to please him in ways that are far from gentile or even romantic. I just want to serve him and have him take care of my needs to keep me to put me on a pedestal and take me down when he wants to use me. And this scares and excites me at the same time.
From the first time I met him he has treated me with deference he opened doors always took his hat off he even kissed my hand the first time I met him this irritated me at first to the point of me saying so. He smiled at this and said well since I'm the boss that give's you two choses either accept it or get another job because I will not change. When I asked him to explain he sat me down and did so what he told me started me to question some things I had been taught to believe as a feminist. He said he was raised to be a gentleman his manors are simple what any man owes any woman you have the gift of life and you have the burden of carrying that new life and the pain of brining it into this world these are the things any man owes any woman weather he is lucky enough to be chosen by a particular woman or not because they are the future of mankind it has nothing to do with laying clam to a woman. To me all women belong on that pedestal if they wish to step down and help a man in the dirt and mire that is this world only means that they should be given more respect not less. Now two years later he still opens doors takes his hat off stands when a women enters a room every time and most important of all never has he tried to come on to me. But now I want him to.
I have always looked him in the eye when we talked he has the softest brown eyes I have ever seen but when you look deeply as I have on occasion you can see the pain he holds and the danger to there is violence even deeper.
This was the start of Dena's first journal, we unfortunately do not have any but what was written here to know what made the change to make her wish to submit to him. I am sure there are incidents that started her to change her thoughts but you will see what happened to her to bring on the total change to allow herself to be owned by one man and I mean owned she never expressed an interest in marriage that I can find. She is the one who wanted to enter a poly lifestyle and this will be explained later in her journey I hope you enjoy her short life. Mari 😍
