Sadie's Sweets

My first livestream was so much fun but you have to have like 10 eyes to monitor everything! I'm sure it will get easier as I do it more.

I don’t expect to be running in-person events for quite some time. Here’s why and here’s the indicators I’m watching.

DISCLAIMERS!

I’m not an expert – I’m doing what I can with the information I have. Always consult experts like the when forming your own opinions.

The information I’m using is current as of the time of writing and to the best of my knowledge and understanding. However, information is changing minute to minute. Seek updated sources to form your own opinions.

And of course, research facts and form your own opinions. :-)

Why No In-Person Events

First, I’m considered “at-risk”. I have asthma. I also provide care to my mother so even if I’m willing to risk it for myself, I’m not willing to risk it for her. I’m not the only player in this game and that’s something I have to keep in mind.

Next, I live in New York and currently in our Phase of Reopening restaurant tables need to be placed six feet (two meters) apart. How many can sit at any one given table is restricted. If you max a table at four people there will be a lot of separation in the group that’s meeting. Hopping from table to table as is customary at a munch is now a no-no which makes it very hard for the event organizer to greet all of the attendees. Additionally, shouting from table to table is not very discrete.

In my case, my two go-to venues are simply too small to host a munch of more than four. Perhaps eight if there’s a facilitator at each table.

Another concern I have is contact tracing. While the NYS Government only suggests an option for contact tracing if the customer is willing some restaurants are mandating it. While there’s always a risk of being outed when you’re involved in kink I feel that a lot of people will balk at giving their name, number, and other contact information for contact tracing. Plus if someone is exposed explaining how they got exposed could create difficulties for them.

My last why is liability, both legal and moral/spiritual. Organizers will bear some legal/social liability if their munch is ground zero for a new hot spot. It’s uncertain what that liability will be, but I’m not interested in taking that risk. I’m also not interested in assuming the moral/spiritual guilt/liability if someone gets Covid-19 because I just had to get my kink on. If you hold a munch or an event people will come. While there is a lot you can control, you can’t control the precautions that any given attendee will or will not take before, during, and after your event. Since I can’t ensure the precautions that attendees will take I believe the best practice at this time is to not offer physical events.

Indicators To Watch

Of course, the CDC is an ideal place to get your information. Your state’s government website is a good one as well. In New York, and for this Live Stream / Writing I’ve referred to the .

I’ve also got my eye on the . I’m known them to have some of the best practices in safety and I’m looking to the decisions they make and how they hold REAF to inform my next steps in physical events.

As for my state’s guidelines, I’m also looking for an easing up on the social distancing. I personally don’t expect that to happen until either a vaccine is developed or “herd immunity” is reached. These guidelines though will also inform my decisions.

Another thing to keep in mind – any kind of pot luck dinners are highly discouraged. A lot of events like to have these at their parties, and the risk of contamination is high. I’m aware of several businesses that have removed their buffets and the state mandates that condiments are in single serving only. Of course, this is for businesses and what you do in your own home may be different.

Going Forward

In the future, if things stay the same I can see the potential of invitation-only munches to maintain social distance. Outdoor munches are also a possibility but once again the distance with a large group will make conversation difficult. For vetting purposes, outdoor one-on-one meetings could be beneficial depending on your vetting processes.

Other Ideas

I read a great article on forming where two families/households self isolate together, only interacting with each other. It takes a bit of work and a lot of trust but it allows for socialization with a decreased risk of contamination.

Risk Profiles and Consent

The problem with using your risk profile as your only metric for attending events is that Covid-19 doesn't only hurt you. Your risk profile is designed to protect you – not the people around you during this time of global pandemic. For example, your risk profile green lights smoking. However, the person sitting next to you did not consent to breathe in your smoke too. Yes, the person could move away. It’s true, you can see smoke coming. Unfortunately, you can’t see Covid-19 coming.

Your risk profile might green light attending a party where even with mask-wearing the closeness, exertion, and vocalization increases the risk of viral load. . I believe you have to ask yourself if it’s really worth the risk of not just getting infected yourself but infecting those you love who may be at risk.

If you want to check out the Livestream where this was discussed visit here:

Feel free to share your thoughts. What indicators are you watching for?

Describe the sound that your favorite toy makes when it's being used.

My favorite toy makes a thick, deep, wet sound. Usually, because the bottom receiving the stimulation has begun to sweat. When used gently it can also make a shushing sound.

I have to admit that this week has been very busy and I've gotten my period so I haven't really been feeling like doing anything kinky. About the only thing I've done in a fetish fulfilment kind of way is to enjoy my students suffering through their phrasal verbs. Makes the sadist in me smile.

Today I engaged in a bit of self impact play with my favorite star crop. I beat my upper shoulders energetically and it feels so good! I have to confess, I have a lot of muscle tension up there so it was medicinal too! Double duty!

This week I did some gentle energy play with my Sacral Chakra. No, not with the violet wand! 😉 With the Subtle Body Energy!

My intention is to spend some time everyday honoring my Sacral Chakra - the subtle body's pleasure center!

Practicing kink has definitely improved my communication skills. When you’re negotiating a play scene with someone you need to get really specific about what you want and don’t want. Making sure both/all partners are in agreement on what is meant by each type of play minimizes the risk of doing the wrong thing. For example, what I think anal play is and what you think it is could be two very different things if I want to use my fist and you’ve only ever used a small butt plug.

This has definitely carried over into my vanilla life in both work and relationships.

How has practicing kink improved your life? Feel free to share in the comments!

Munches, parties, and classes will most likely be held online for months to come in the wake of Covid-19. While we’re in the lull between “OMGs get online!” and “Zoom Fatigue” it’s a good idea to review some privacy practices while we prepare for the long online haul. If you’re a person who wants to keep their kink identity separate from their everyday one these X tips will help you on your way to privacy perfection.

Create A Kink Identity

Before you sign up for your first (or anymore) kink accounts create your very own kink identity. Create a name, screen name, and email address just for all of your kink stuff. This becomes very important later on. If you have the opportunity to use separate smartphones, by all means, do it! A unique kink identity will help stymie the cross-contamination between your kink and mundane digital accounts.

Use Your Kink Identity Consistently

Keep your eyes open for applications that will use your identity when you use third-party apps. For example, if you’re going to download the Zoom or WebEx app on your smartphone make sure that you're logged into the app or play store with your kink identity. There’s potential for software to harvest contacts through your email address when you give apps permission. If you download Zoom for kink events under your mundane email it may harvest your work contacts and make suggestions on other apps like Facebook.

Sign Out on Exit

When you’re done using whatever app of choice in the kink realm make sure you sign out and close the window it was in. Signing out reduces the risk that the wrong screen will pop up on your conference call to your secretary. It will also make it less likely that you answer a WebEx with your kink account instead of your work account.

For additional safety sign out of all of your video conferencing software and clients when you’re done with them each time. If you have to log in each time you’ll be less likely to join a kink video conference with your mundane or work name as the display name. Taking this extra step can prevent you from outing yourself to all the kinksters at an online munch. This is especially important if you use the same video conferencing for work as you will use to join online kink events.

Clear Your Cache

Those pesky little temporary files will tell tales on you in a heartbeat. It’s ideal if you clear them after every time you use your computer or phone for kinky things. Even if you’re signed out of your Zoom accounts Zoom can still harvest a username that you typed in. The last thing you need it to have your display name show as analslut69 when your boss pops in for a chat.

Keep Up With Security Updates

Keep apprised of which apps are the most secure, use them, and encourage other people to use them. I won’t make recommendations here, because app security can change on a daily basis. TechCrunch is a great source for information on all things technical.

Enjoying kinky times together while separate can be tricky, but with a little practice and a commitment to simple tasks that keep you safe, you’ll be able to enjoy it with the peace of mind you deserve. One day, we’ll be able to enjoy our kinky lives without stigma or shame. Until then, stay safe and stay healthy!

Testing the magical Zoom to ensure a seamless Online Munch!