Sadie's Sweets

This week I did some gentle energy play with my Sacral Chakra. No, not with the violet wand! 😉 With the Subtle Body Energy!

My intention is to spend some time everyday honoring my Sacral Chakra - the subtle body's pleasure center!

Practicing kink has definitely improved my communication skills. When you’re negotiating a play scene with someone you need to get really specific about what you want and don’t want. Making sure both/all partners are in agreement on what is meant by each type of play minimizes the risk of doing the wrong thing. For example, what I think anal play is and what you think it is could be two very different things if I want to use my fist and you’ve only ever used a small butt plug.

This has definitely carried over into my vanilla life in both work and relationships.

How has practicing kink improved your life? Feel free to share in the comments!

Munches, parties, and classes will most likely be held online for months to come in the wake of Covid-19. While we’re in the lull between “OMGs get online!” and “Zoom Fatigue” it’s a good idea to review some privacy practices while we prepare for the long online haul. If you’re a person who wants to keep their kink identity separate from their everyday one these X tips will help you on your way to privacy perfection.

Create A Kink Identity

Before you sign up for your first (or anymore) kink accounts create your very own kink identity. Create a name, screen name, and email address just for all of your kink stuff. This becomes very important later on. If you have the opportunity to use separate smartphones, by all means, do it! A unique kink identity will help stymie the cross-contamination between your kink and mundane digital accounts.

Use Your Kink Identity Consistently

Keep your eyes open for applications that will use your identity when you use third-party apps. For example, if you’re going to download the Zoom or WebEx app on your smartphone make sure that you're logged into the app or play store with your kink identity. There’s potential for software to harvest contacts through your email address when you give apps permission. If you download Zoom for kink events under your mundane email it may harvest your work contacts and make suggestions on other apps like Facebook.

Sign Out on Exit

When you’re done using whatever app of choice in the kink realm make sure you sign out and close the window it was in. Signing out reduces the risk that the wrong screen will pop up on your conference call to your secretary. It will also make it less likely that you answer a WebEx with your kink account instead of your work account.

For additional safety sign out of all of your video conferencing software and clients when you’re done with them each time. If you have to log in each time you’ll be less likely to join a kink video conference with your mundane or work name as the display name. Taking this extra step can prevent you from outing yourself to all the kinksters at an online munch. This is especially important if you use the same video conferencing for work as you will use to join online kink events.

Clear Your Cache

Those pesky little temporary files will tell tales on you in a heartbeat. It’s ideal if you clear them after every time you use your computer or phone for kinky things. Even if you’re signed out of your Zoom accounts Zoom can still harvest a username that you typed in. The last thing you need it to have your display name show as analslut69 when your boss pops in for a chat.

Keep Up With Security Updates

Keep apprised of which apps are the most secure, use them, and encourage other people to use them. I won’t make recommendations here, because app security can change on a daily basis. TechCrunch is a great source for information on all things technical.

Enjoying kinky times together while separate can be tricky, but with a little practice and a commitment to simple tasks that keep you safe, you’ll be able to enjoy it with the peace of mind you deserve. One day, we’ll be able to enjoy our kinky lives without stigma or shame. Until then, stay safe and stay healthy!

Testing the magical Zoom to ensure a seamless Online Munch!

In this reflective time of lockdown, my thoughts have turned to my BDSM Mentor who I miss so much. While it's uncommon to take a Mentor in my local community in the Western NY area it definitely was something that shaped my kink experiences for the better. He protected me, taught me, allowed me to grow and thrive. He was an older submissive male, which goes to show that subs/switches can Mentor Dommes and vice versa.

Touching the toys he gave to me, some of my first toys, cause sweet memories to resonate inside of me. See some of what he gave me and listen to my memories in the video below. This is how I keep my Mentor alive.

Before the next time you play consider this

"Great negotiation is about great collaboration." - Chris Voss

Dominate your quarantine!Flog a pillow (or a partner) for target practice!