We negotiate tens of times per day if not more. Often, we don't even know we're in a negotiation. When we aren't aware of the negotiation skills we need we are left at a distinct disadvantage. Let's be real - it's rare to find a person who is focused on your best interest, besides yourself of course. This is why empowering yourself with negotiation skills is important in life as well as your BDSM scenes.
Negotiation is Communication
At its heart, negotiation is simply communication. Structured communication, but communication nonetheless. Communication is at the core of BDSM relationships, so it's valuable to take time to learn these skills. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone is a great communicator. Just because you're born speaking a language doesn't mean you can convey the nuances of the meaning you want to get across. The massive amount of personal development books focused on negotiation is testament to individuals needing to learn these skills.
Negotiation and BDSM
If I can give you one tip for negotiating a stellar scene with a new or new to you partner it would be this: negotiate to yes only. This means that during the scene you only do what was a clear "yes" in negotiations. They'll be time for pushing limits and surprises later. In your first scene with someone you're laying down the foundation for what will hopefully be a long play relationship. Take your time and enjoy!
What’s the best scene negotiation tip you have? Feel free to share in the comments!
If you want to learn more about how to negotiate exciting and powerful scenes join me for the Negotiation For Seamless Scenes Online Class listed in the Events section right here on TheCage.co!