While kink in general tends to place immense pressure on individuals to conform to certain standards of beauty and attractiveness, it's essential to remember that not everyone experiences the same emotions or self-perceptions. Case in point - I almost never feel sexy. I used to wonder if there was something wrong with me. Tbh, I’m not even sure what ‘sexy’ is.
Maybe it’s because I tend to skew demisexual. Or sapiosexual. Maybe it’s because I tend to find tentacle hentai super arousing. Or maybe even I have a gross misconception about what ‘sexy’ actually is. Sometimes I wonder if ‘sexy’ belongs to the elite realm of kink models who meet a more currently stereotypical aesthetic of beauty.
One Thing I Know For Sure
It’s ok to not feel sexy. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that there is no one true way. In reality even for those who do feel sexy, I know that feeling sexy is not a constant state. It comes and it goes, like all feelings. What I’ve also learned is that I need to focus on what feels good to me. And in that sensing, that feeling I find it’s more important to embrace the concept of sensuality.
Feeling sensual is a deeply personal and empowering experience. Sometimes for me, feeling sexy is associated with external validation and societal expectations. Alternatively for me, sensuality is about connecting deeply with my inner self and experiencing the world through my senses. It's about being in tune with my body, emotions, and desires, rather than conforming to any external ideal.
Sensuality
Sensuality invites you to explore your physicality and embrace the pleasures of being in your own skin. It's about enjoying the way your body moves, feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin, or reveling in the simple sensations of fingers (yours or someone else’s) running along your skin. It's about savoring the textures, scents, tastes, and sounds that make life beautiful.
Sometimes by shifting your focus from feeling "sexy" to feeling "sensual," you can free yourself from the unrealistic expectations (any expectations other than your own) of what a Domme, sub, switch, kinkster, etc. should be or look like. It allows you to appreciate the unique and intimate connection you have with your own body, fostering self-love and acceptance.
It's important to remember that sensuality is not bound by age, body type, or appearance. It's a state of mind and a way of experiencing the world that can be empowering at any stage of life. So, if you don't feel sexy, that's perfectly okay. Instead, embrace the sensuality that's inherently within you, and you'll discover a deeper, more fulfilling connection to your true self as well as your kinky self.
Do you feel sexy? What is sexy to you? I invite you to share in the comments.
