As a 50-year-old sex educator, I’ve spent my career helping others feel comfortable talking about topics often shrouded in stigma. Yet, when it came to my own family, I faced an unexpected struggle. I never broached the topic of pelvic floor health with my mom, partly due to discomfort and assumptions. Now, as she grapples with a pelvic floor issue, I realize how important these conversations are—no matter how awkward they may feel.
Braving the Stigma and Shame
Pelvic floor health affects everyone, yet it remains under-discussed, especially among older generations. Our mothers and grandmothers may not have grown up with the same open discussions around health and wellness that we promote today. Tbh, my mom has only just recently accepted the fact that I’m not a virgin. Like many others, I avoided the topic with my mom, thinking it would be too personal or embarrassing for her. Looking back, I’m disappointed with myself for not breaking the taboo and talking with her about it.
She’s going to be fine. She has to use an insertable spacer *cough* dildo *cough* to help position her bladder correctly and the gyno taught her how to do Kegel exercises. I can’t help but think if I had spoken up earlier, perhaps I could have helped her access support sooner.
Start Talking Now
Now that she talked about her condition with me, I’ve learned an important lesson: it’s never too late to have these conversations. Even if there’s initial discomfort, talking about pelvic health with our loved ones can reduce shame, provide clarity, and open doors to care. We owe it to ourselves and the people we care about to normalize these discussions.
It’s also never to late to start doing Kegels for yourself. You can find a lot of practical and fun ‘equipment’ similar to this to help you in your endeavor.
For those who might be in a similar position, my advice is simple: Don’t wait. Start the conversation now. Whether it’s about pelvic health or any other sensitive topic, being open can make all the difference. It’s okay if it feels awkward—you’ll be glad you did it.