I am still involved in a program with my past Dominant and his family. I was an at an event tonight and one of the girls in the house is still so bitter. I just do not understand how she, or he for that matter, consider that to be healthy. The absolutely wonderful part is that I felt bad for her. I didn't want the family to fail and still don't want what remains of the family to fail but I am happy to be out of it. Hindsight is truly 20/20 because I am seeing how toxic some things were. I am not sure how much longer I will be able to continue helping with the program because although it does not hurt me on a personal, relational level. It hurts me because I hate that she is still carrying that bitterness. (And of course if I try to say anything, I am just interfering and causing problems in their house. Is it obvious I have tried? But that is my nature.) I walked away from the family for my mental health and hate to think that the program is next, because everything it is doing otherwise is so good and helpful to so many people. I will give it a little more time but I see this as a decision that may need to be made by the 1st of the year if things don't change.
I am still working on me and bettering myself. Every day I am realizing a little bit more. There are some changes that will take time but the seeds are being planted.