3 months ago. Jun 17, 2021, 7:24 PM
I miss You Master. I should start with that because it’s my most prevalent thought and emotion. You’re my first waking thought and the last before I go to sleep. It’s only been about eight months since I’ve begun the process of giving Master my submission and in that time You’ve become my obsession, a greed. Some are greedy for money, others sex, or fancy things. I’m greedy for Your attention. Even if it’s to just kneel at Your feet with my leash in Your hands. I want to be in Your presence. My thoughts are no longer my own as they’re potent with You. In my dreams both waking and sleeping, thought process, decisions. All of it is done with You in mind, how You’d like me to perform.
However I’m not sure if that greediness is morphing into neediness. Like the way a caterpillar will morph into a butterfly. However instead of free it’s caged and doesn’t mind a bit -I’m the butterfly by the way lol- but it feels lonely.
The need to call and text Master relentlessly is very prominent, yet I know I’ll be in trouble...and I don’t like being in trouble with You Master. Journal entry after journal entry consists of my need for You, or thoughts of You, a dream I had...it’s just You, You, You. So I thought I’d come here update my blog, and let the amazing kinksters of this community know how much You truly own me. Some submissives, slaves, or what not aren’t able to reach true submission. They can’t grasp what it’s like to be completely consumed and devoured not just by Master -or Sir, Daddy, Alpha, however you address your Dom for other subs who aren’t slaves- but the need to give the entirety of who you are, to live for them. This may be by no fault of their own, so I’ll share what it’s like.
When first discovering BDSM, I didn’t realize I needed a 24/7 dynamic. Let’s back track: I initially entered the scene as a little and submissive. I still have my little tendencies and needs as one of my alters is a little and is in little space all the time. But even she agreed we weren’t ever able to find a decent Daddy that would provide all around strict structure. And although I enjoy giving myself sexually, I also love just serving- chores, cooking, running errands, I love it all. Then I met Master. He helped me realize that when I can be satisfied with just domestic service on top of sexual it’s similar to slave tendencies. So I begin my research and find myself where I am today. I’m proud to have discovered what my submission actually looks like. I was scared of giving away so much of myself without realizing it’s what I needed. Now I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Alright enough backstory. True submission is beautiful. Being in a 24/7 is even better. As a natural submissive who has to play at Dom in my day to day life it’s a relief to give my submission to Master. I feel so full and proud as a peacock, especially when I receive praise. I feel like I can sustain myself off of giving myself to Him. The highlight of my day is talking to Master. I’m obsessed with him, pleasing him, the way someone with OCD is obsessed- I mean that with no offense. But imagine when the object of all that reverence becomes busy. It’s depriving me it feels like and I feel like I’m going crazy. I don’t know what to do with myself and I can’t figure out what to do with all this energy. Yet at the same time I feel slumped. I want to lay in bed all day until Master fetches me. But I know I have to be productive. My greediness for His attention will get me in trouble and my neediness will make me lazy. And no Master likes a lazy slave.
Anywho for all who read this entire post, thank you for staying this long and I hope you enjoyed reading my spew of words.
How I’ll wait for Master
What I want