I found this and automatically identified myself with it... most of us had been in this situation at least once in our lives... i was recently in a dynamic with someone and something similar to this happened and the other person treated me very poorly... it was the end of us..
I get it, I really do. You’ve used this act before with men, used it your whole life. I said something that challenged your comfort and you’re lashing out, venom flowing from your serpents tongue. Your teeth bared, ready for a fight. You’ve used this tactic before, raised your defenses and slammed the gates to your fortress of solitude shut. You’re safe back there for awhile, and eventually they all go away, the challenge to your comfort vanquished.
You’re deft too, you do this so well, so efficiently, that more often than not, neither you nor the person you’re doing it to even notice. A sly distraction, a subtle word, a touch of sarcasm and you’ve slipped behind the sheet, an emotional magician disappearing in a room full of people.
The thing is, I know your game. I see your rampant sarcasm and passive aggressive comments for what they are. When you raise your voice to me or leave the room in a huff of, “fine, whatever,” I’m not tricked, and I’m not intimidated. I’m not going to meet your silver tongued venom with my own or react with my own anger. You’re not going to pull me down to your level.
No, I’m going to sit there calmly, and quietly. Like a oragami dragon I’ll let you huff and puff; I’ll let your storm bluster and blow; I’ll watch and you loose the dogs of war or choose the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune - and I’ll sit there quietly and absorb it all. I’ll take it because I can, because my skin is thicker than your sharpest daggers can penetrate. I’ll take it because I know the importance of this moment. I know why this is happening, I know what you expect to happen - what you’ve been conditioned by years of experience to anticipate.
When you’re done having your moment come here, sit down, kneel at my feet, I’m not going to yell at you. I know what your sarcasm, your anger, and your furious silence mean. You’re hurt, you’re scared, you’re exhausted, I get it. Come here and I’ll scale your walls, I’ll slay your demons, and I’ll calm your stormy skies. Not with my rage but with my kindness, with my unending warmth, and quiet strength.
It’s not ok to treat me like this, and there will be a lesson coming soon enough. A stern lecture, an early bed time, a few minutes of kneeling in the corner and staring at the wall, or a firm spanking. But for now just lose yourself here in my arms where the world is quiet and none of your waves can capsize my ship.
I am forever your safe harbor. “When the walls around you cave in, when there’s nothing left but pouring rain, you’ll find your heart inside my hands.“