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Faerie Fox Musings

My random thoughts as I wade through the BDSM world and try to find my niche in it
6 years ago. July 14, 2017 at 7:26 PM

This is an issue that is totally perspective. I have a partner. I care deeply about said partner and want to keep them. They are willing to try new things and play with me, as long as I bring the ideas and am very clear (done to past baggage I'm greatfull)

 

My issue is, where is the line? The blurry little line that if crossed could compromise my current relationship. Just chatting about toys and ideas is good, but at what point is talking outing a scene to much? When I get emotional you invested? When the person I'm talking to is? 

 

For me any sort of online Ds relationship would be to far because I am in a monogamous relationship which means I'm dedicating all of my time and emotional energy to it. So even if it's not sexual to the other person it would feel inappropriate to me. So it is definitely a material if perspective, the other person may have little attachment.

 

As it is, I've had multiple offers of people willing to help me learn, online or in person, with the sedithay it will help me with my SO, but I can't help the nagging feeling that some of them just want to get some free play in. 

 

This might be just a me issue and my past baggage interrupting. It may be a real and legitimate concern. It is likely a bit of both.

Rosekinks​(switch trans woman) - Hi, two points to ponder? ... One) there is a fine line between agreeing a scene and talking it to death! Scenes are made up of four parts, the idea, the reality, the truth and doing it! Draw the line at part two you need the idea, but then you need to talk and think through the possibilities and capabilities weighing them up against whom ever the scene is targeted to..... Anything past this endamgers the scene as you are giving away both the mental image of what will he or she do to me next, or you destroy he fantasy of the scene and leave only the reality of the scene behind!

Two) you can smell a person that wants to play for their own gratification from a mike away! Always stay safe inside the limits you set yourself..... Or you end up as someone's toy..... Whole getting zero from the experience. Hope this helps feel free to ask..... Rose x
6 years ago
Enfield​(other female) - It does. Breaking the down into steps is great, makes it easier to to see where to stop. I hadn't thought about the potential problems of over talking a scene before, more food for thought...
Yes you can! They are not subtle in heir search for instant self gratification, still can be worrisome but they are easy to spot
6 years ago

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