Priest of Sanguine

The following story has all rights reserved to myself and is a writing of fiction.  Triggers in abusive treatment and aggression.  Whether the story is finished in the Cage blogs of mine or not will be left up to the reader comments, and is meant for enjoyment of you the reader as well as getting this shit out of my head lol.  Only proof read once, so apologies for any bad grammar or punctuations.

Clan Wars:  The stage is set.

He could smell them clearly from the forest wherein he hid some twenty yards away as his nostrils flared in the cool night air.  Only the sentries stirred amongst the Vulg Tribe, who were to him, just another bunch of meat sacks for harvest.  He'd been hunting for years, prowling the night when his hunger began to burn and living in plain sight as a blacksmith for hire as he moved from village to village.  This particular one was of no renowned located between a forest and the swamps which should be by all rights, well defensible but that security has made the sentry's lacks.

"Ready, old man" he asked at barley a whisper as he spoke to himself.... The growl from within his mind was all the answer he needed.

He focused on the heartbeat across the field that separated the forest from the village...Thump thump, thump thump, thum.. the sound of heartbeat was replaced by the sound of the owners neck breaking and the slice of teeth piercing the artery.  The growl that escaped rolled through his chest in sheer ecstasy... his eyes rolled back for a moment as he drank deeply.  Dropping the lifeless husk to the ground, his breath came in heavy, heated gulps of air.  The hushed sound of a gasp caught his attention and his eyes snapped to the dark silhouette that happened to be in the wrong place as the wrong time.

[Shit...] Max mumbled within his mind as his form began to shift, bones snapping and elongating with small black scales ripping out to cover his pale skin. Within a second his loose fitting clothes stretched taunt, threatening to rip the seams.  Her scream left her lips just has his clawed fist smashed into mouth, casting her sprawling on ground.  Horns blared and torches lit up along the perimeter where they sentries jumped to their duty, alerting the village.

[Run!]  Max commanded just to be pushed down with a guttural "No." that came from the leathery lips, as his beast took up the challenge.  He flexed his claws, shifted in his stance and rolled one shoulders one before the other. "Mine!"

As the first sentry rounded the hut where he hid, Beast rushed from the darkness, claws slashing the mans the throat before he even had the chance to block with his spear.  The whistle of an arrow caused him to drop under it's flight to roll forward and spring into a zig-zag pattern to cross the gap between him and the archer.  

[BEAST!] He shouted from the confines of his own mind.  [We don't have to kill them all.  We got what we came for, now leave!]  The roar that escaped him was one of defiance and blood lust and Max knew that there was nothing he could do but retreat back into the darkness of his own mind and try to ignore the onslaught that was about to unfold.  The sound of steel glancing off scales, the sting of cuts and arrows lodging between the scales felt like fire to his hidden flesh but his body would heal nearly as quick as it was opened.  Every other kill became a new feeding; the blood rushing through him to regenerate the damage he took; Beast was nigh unstoppable as he reveled in the fight.  What should have never happened, finally came to a end as the last villager hung suspended from his claws.  He drew her in and feasted from her throat before discarding her like a rage doll.  Methodically Beast began to back track, using whatever weapons he found along the way to disguise the scene as an attack from another tribe.  Confidently he strolled back between the same huts that he'd started from, just to find the woman he'd laid out in the beginning.  She moaned and slowly rolled to her side, spitting blood from her lips.  Beast perked an eyebrow and crouched in the shadows as he watched her slowly rise to her feet, unaware of his attention. 
"Mine" he growled, causing her to whip her head up and notice his blazing red eyes staring at her.  She stumbled back, her legs trembling under her as her mind raced in fear.
"Go away" she mumbled as she tried to turn to run.. "leave me alone." she continued.  Her legs began to find strength as she stumble ran into the field, hoping to make it to the woods.  Frantically, she looked back as she ran just to see the monsters black frame lit up by the fire of her village burning behind him as he stalked her on all fours.  "GO AWAY!" she cried, giving all she had in her weaken state to reach the trees as she cast a glance back over her shoulder and coming to a confused stop.  Where did he go?.... she thought, casting glances around the field until she bumped her back into the first tree of the woods.  Where is he... quickly she turns to run into the forest only to smash her nose into a hard scaly chest of which she staggers back from, slowly raising her gaze until she meets those red eyes.  Her heart quickens, fear peaks and just as she's about to scream, his claws rake over her chest in a searing swipe as his other hand claps her soundly in the head, casting her to the ground in a daze.
"Mine!" He proclaims as he picks her feebly struggling frame up and cast her over his shoulder.  She tried to weakly protest but it's meet with another dazing slap to the back of her head, bounding her face off his hard pec as he dashes into the forest to be engulfed in the darkness....

We live in an age that alters words to keep one guessing and uncertain.  Personally it's a frustrating issue for a person who is analytical and requires words to have common definitions, that share the same understanding.

I'm going to address two because one is a love of mine while the other is misunderstood to the point of causing deep psychological damage.

Whore:  One who sells sexual exchange.  There is to me, no greater profession than to be a whore. I trained to be a whore.  I wanted nothing more than to be a whore every since I found out that people will PAY me to do what I love and study.  I have a saying that I've used often with broken hearted friends "A friend when in need, is a real friend by deed." Meaning if I'm your friend, male or female, & you're hurting... I'm gonna fuck someone up for hurting you, and willingly fuck you silly.  Nothing starts the healing of a broken heart like sexual release.  Hurt me, beat me, fuck me like you hate me, or cry in a lovers embrace... heal my friend, it's why I'm here.

Why I'm like this: I'm 2 steps shy from nympho, sadomasochistic, and there is no feeling that I know of that is better than the ones you feel after the sex you need.  I struggle with emotions so in my mind that sensation is what I see true love being.  Love is such a mix of emotions that nobody can put it in words for me to understand and that to me is how sex is... all consuming, all giving, pain, pleasure, take your breath and make you scream.

I've had pleasure with 20+ in my past and regret 0. So why didn't I follow my dreams... more than the reason I'm willing to tell but this is part of it.

I'm a light germaphobe... Not knowing who they are, what I may be picking up from a complete stranger ? I couldn't shut off my mind causing issues with the libido when I needed the bastard the most!  My limit is extremely small but... it has to be clean!  Talk about having issues that contradict each other!  I'll eat your ass, swallow cum, take a pegging or cock till my ass seals shut and lick a pussy so deep the cream get wedged up my nose BUT!  You best show me a recent medical analysis or wear protection! I don't want what you got.  Its weird, I know but it's part of who I am.   Now, I'm not the whore I wanted to be, but I'm still a whore all the same.

Which brings me to the next word:

Worthless:  to have no value or use.

I hear this being used out of proper understanding... I feel like I'm worthless, he/she makes me feel like I'm worthless.  

Dirt, still has value and is still useful.

Trash, degrades into dirt thus once again has value because we grow crops from dirt to feed ourselves and others.

The person who calls you worthless is not saying you are without value, they are saying they can not afford you.  Why? Because they tried you and found that your value is most likely higher than theirs.  If you've done your part, they understood without knowing why; that they can not live up to their words so they deflect the blame of their own inability and tear at your self-esteem to hide your very value from yourself.  In doing so, you become without purpose fulfilling the role in yourself to designate a sensation of "worthlessness."

If you are ghosted, it's not that you are worthless but their character is beneath yours, thus making you of more value than they can afford.

If you struggle with issues, yes you need to get your shit together because you have a value and you are SooOooOo underselling yourself.  If you can not get your shit together, find another way to fulfill your purpose.  I couldn't be the whore I wanted to be so instead I was groomed to be a Master that can please any Slave without fearing for my own ego stroke.  General put: I do whatever it takes to get that cream out of you, hence I'm a bi-sexual, sadomasochist, switch.  I'll listen so I can help point you in a direction of self discovery, healing and growth.  I'll teach that you might fulfill your purpose all of which requires you to kneel at my feet.  I came to you for a reason, you came to me for a reason also.  If I'm not teaching I'm learning. If I'm not learning, I'm teaching and if you're too fukn stubborn I'll let you think you are teaching me so I can guide you to what you need to learn, all the while, thanking you for teaching me.

Why?

To me there are those who sell themselves to high, those who sell too low but your worth is up to you to determine.  Who accepts your worth and provides the cost of your worth is fukn hard to find cuz you are 1 in billions of other distractions but do not ever mistake... you have not ever been, you are not now, nor will you ever be "Worthless." 

Know your value, know your use and be used for it willingly.  A whore sells themselves, not just sexually, thus a whore is of immense value to me. A Master is the realm wherein I get to be that whore within the restraints set upon me due to my own mind. Be who and what you are, realign your reality, you've lived in an altered one for to long.

You'll find it's rather gratifying as well as illuminating.

Max

I love the cold far more than I love the heat.  I produce heat like a freakn nuclear silo at times and my theory is: You can always put more on when it's cold outside, but you take too much off when it's hot or you end up on the 6 o'clock news being taken down town to meet Bubba... I'm too damn cute for that!

However there are different levels of cold... °F

60-70 ... that ain't fukn cold, running round naked.

50-60 ... psh, get a blanket grandma.

38-50... Yetis summer! Don't need no jacket yet. Plzzz.

30-38 ... 5min days! YES! Snow!  Running out side bare foot to tromp through the powder.  I can be out in this for 5 min before I even start feeling the chill.

25-30 ... it's now cold.  Put a jacket on.

20-25 ... Yetis winter.  You're balls turn blue in that shit!

15-20 ... wTF! Your pecker sucks up inside like a trurtle and you officially cant find your balls.

10-15 ... Man-gina season... you pecker hides so far up inside you now have a vag...

Below 10... MEDIC!! Yup... its gonna take a team to find your bits and parts.  Your cock went to the closest warm spot and you just done what so many people have told you in the past... Go fuck yourself... 

^AngelBunny^ is gonna have to fist my ass to pop that son'a bitch out! ??????

MORE COFFEE PLZ!

An annoyance to be sure... Seems that it's a thing to be right or wrong, like it's some kind of fukn badge of honor whereby you will be noted in the logs of History.   I don't get it.  It's an endless Avenue of stress, bickering, hurt feelings and implantation of self doubt.  

I'm not the world's smartest man & I'll admit that upfront.  I don't have any degrees added to my name but I'm not stupid either.  I've watch a shit ton of documentaries, set my own bones, stitched my own wounds, been shot at, stabbed and assaulted several times throughout my life. I've walked a rough path and I got this asshole who resides within me that tells me shit that I don't know how I know, I just know.  I'm not a know-it-all, hell I'd rather just stay silent most the time but when drawn into a conversation, I'll just say what I know and not think anything of it... until, inevitably, I need to be proven wrong. ? 

I know I'm there with a person soon as I see them whip out their phone to google it.  I don't mind the first dozen times, it's just establish that I know what the fuk I'm saying which means you can be more confident in me.  Less stress on you, less worrying, less guess work.  Fuk me... I didn't say it to be "right".  So why the need to prove me wrong?  I'm not saying that healthy investigation of your own shit and situations is a bad thing.  What you do outside my visual range, I'm completely unaware of.  If you are just checking to have more validation on the topic, that's fine... have at it.  But when ya whip out the phone and go googling... your only trying to prove me wrong. For the sake of me being wrong.

Think about it for a moment... You don't care about "right"... you're not going to ego boost me but you'll brood when you find out the information was correct.  You'll come back to "Ha! You was wrong!" ... mmmmkay.  So?  1 in how many times?  Glad it provoked you so deeply that you did your own research instead of coming... oh... wait... you came to me first, instead of doing your research...

For a people riddled with self doubt, wishing for a partner they can trust, rely on and bring anything to, y'all are pretty shitty to that person once you find them.  You create a monster in yourself instead of finding release and confidence.  You cause a wall of mistrust due to the nature of causing second guessing on the true intention of the whole fukn conversation.  Said mistrust equals out into guarded conversations or simply NOT communicating at all due to being attacked with your need for me to be wrong.  Why should I say shit if you don't believe me & feel the need to second guess my every comment?  I'm not you.  I don't doubt my words.  I say what I mean and most the time I'm more concerned with hurting you than you give me credit for.

Why do you NEED me to be wrong?

The really sad thing to all this is... it's been part of my life for so long that I intentionally say something that I know is wrong, just so you can find something.  To see how you react when ya do.

To me, to be right just means you have knowledge and or experience.  To be wrong means you're growing and you now have said knowledge.  In an argument there is no such thing as right or wrong. Nobody wins, no matter the outcome.  Why do people insist on fighting over such petty shit when life is a one time experience and love is hard to find... I don't need mine full of other people's shit, doubt and disrespect.  You don't want that, right? 

Till you stop asking me questions, I'm going to have or seek answers so I might be a better Master for better Slaves.  If my information is unwanted, I don't have to say anything but then... no whining about the silence between us either.

Is proving a person wrong, worth the cost when they are supposed to be the focus of your desire, care and love?

If the situation was reversed, how would you feel about your partners constant googling of your information?

Just something to think about.

Max.

Good morning Kinksters

I've been pondering a series of questions presented to me and I'm still at a cross roads for the answer.  I am Bi, Triad/V Poly and while seeking our other I get all kinds of weird, lewd, and sometimes mentally unstable approaches.  I enjoy them all!  Different strokes for different folks but every blue moon I get to talk with someone who is wonderful to talk with and stimulating with their conversation.  This brings me to my current predicament... 

In my quest I've stated Female, MtF who is already out and at minimum on Hormones.  To me, if they haven't done the least in getting on the hormones then chances are they are looking for a sugar daddy to pay for everything and ummm no.  This does not sway males from hitting up the inbox with questions and submissions for service as a Slave to me.  I've told many of a straight person that to me, a hole is a hole, is a hole... so long ad they have a good shape to them & take care of themselves, what do I care if the hole belongs to men or women?  I've been saying that for years and have had a guy friend that we'd just get together for some fun because one, he is married and two, his quite masculine and that's never been a turn on for me.  Only thing I find attractive about most men is what's between the belly button and the kneecaps...  Saying this to the gentleman of whom I speak, he ask a series of questions "If you know that, then why is it different when it comes to being your Slave?

Does a face or chest matter when it comes to greeting you at the door? There's mask and costumes for that.

Bringing your drink or food... matters that much on looks?  Do you go to a restaurant and pick out your waitress?

Do you insist that only what makes you hard by sight, is the only ones able to do your laundry or clean your house?

You say that your language of love is Touch and Service, that someday you could go blind... Then what does it matter if I'm a male and not a very masculine one at that?

What is it that truly makes you happy and most likely turns you on?

...

...

He has some valid points.  Sometimes I can be blinded by what I want to the point of not seeing what I need and that desire isn't always based on the appearance (though let's face it, to some extent it helps!).

So now I'm in a quandary of what it is that I'm truly able to find attractive.  Feminine features goes a fuck ton of a long way but my guy friend, who is still very much a good friend even without the sex, is as stated... masculine.  Like beard & mustache, decent dad bod... He's there when in the rare times I need some assistance or just to chat with a dude.  So what is my true hold back?  Am I being so vain that everything else is tossed away as not?

Anyways, I'm hoping that typing this up will kick the brain into drive and maybe something y'all say may help with the process.  

Advice?

Max.

Some of you may have read the title and clicked thinking this is something else.  Well, you're right and wrong. 

One of the few PC games I'm currently addicted to is is a survival game called Ark: Survival evolved.  I'm rather late to the game as it was released several years ago and has been expanded multiple times already but all the same it's not the MMORPG that is my usual style of gaming.  This game comes with dinosaurs! You know.. those cute lil raptors that want nothing more than to EAT YOUR FACE OFF! ??? ?

The game is packed with explorable areas, rich details, fantastic mechanics so you can build all kinds of structures to help you survive. HOWEVER! You start off naked with nothing and you have to learn basics quickly or be eaten by nearly every damn thing in the game!  Even compy's will wear you down... unless of course you run and you feel like "Fuk you bastards!" Flipping them off as you leave them in your dust, just to be pounced on by a sabertooth who just wants to snuggle you... or your bits... in its belly ?

In time you get use to the WOW or OMFG! Wth just happened?! But it leaves you jumpy, cautious and consistently looking around.  Thankfully as you progress, you learn to tame all these lil assholes that want to eat you and in doing so, you get a sense of "Ok... I'm not gonna die every time I step away from my shelter..." that took 20 attempts to build.  Even still though, or at least For me, the worst part is getting off your "mount" (tamed dino). You can set it to protect you but sometimes the thing coming out of the Jungle at you is a T-Rex who finds your mount to be a tasty snack and you're well.. mixed in with your mount to be pooped out later.

What makes it even worse... you come up to a rock, look around.  All clear. Check again because you are paranoid as fuk. All clear.  Hop off, brace to get back on & fight or flee... nothing. *sigh of relief.* you pull out your handy dandy tools to start collecting said rock aaaaaand... nothing.  Not one damn thing.  It's part of the scenery instead of a rock.  The feeling of wanting to piss on it or SOMETHING! is rather overwhelming.  I mean, if you're gonna be a rock, be a fukn rock but if your not a rock don't say you're a rock, present your a rock and make me risk a nervous breakdown just to find out, YOUR NOT A ROCK!   It was at this point when I'm standing there watching my game character stareing at a not rock that I realized something.  This game is more like real survival than anything I've ever played. Real life is tough with no do overs.  You come into it unequipped and needing to learn everything. Somedays just leaving your house feels like you most likely won't make it back the same as you left and even if you do... you're going to find that the environment around isn't always what it says.  People especially.  In time, after many injuries (mental, emotional, physical) you either start fearing everything, fighting for everything, or deceive by people who claim to be what you're looking for, show all the signs thereof and just when you feel you can trust them... you find out they're not a rock. Everything it took to get to this point and it was for nothing more than the journey there.

Thankfully there is hope.  Just like in the game, you start to recognize what is a rock and what is scenery.  Oh you still jump off at the wrong spots, you fuk up and pay the price, but... you start finding rocks that are rocks and the shit you build is fukn epic.

So... if you're not a rock, stop saying you're a rock. If you want to be a rock, be a rock but don't say your a rock and not be a rock.  If you're mending from the last time your ass was eaten by a Raptor because of one of those not rocks, it'll heal if you let it. Get back out there... there's real rocks all around.  Don't get discouraged, though I know its easier to give up. Your world... is what you're stuck in. Make it your bitch and find out that you survived all that shit, so you're able to live in this moment.

You got this shit.

?? *swat on the ass*

Max

Ps... BEHIND YOU!! ???... ??? 

Over the past 12-14 years I've dated many types of people ranging from ages 18 - 62 and by date I don't mean committed relationship. I mean the act of getting to know each other, spend time together and see what falls out.  Some had bedroom aspects but some didn't so it's not the sex.  Communication has grown and evolved throughout the process so it's not communication.  So maybe someone can explain in a way I can grasp this perplexing issue I've had over the vast majority of every fukn "relationship".

Situation: The one I'm with at any of the times above, are doing things that please me.  Consistently, daily they do small or large things ranging from corsets & makeup to cooking meals or buying me my favorite flowers. (Yes it's an extremely rare thing for a woman to buy a man flowers but this man actually loves it due to the type of flower).  I do my part also but there comes a day where I really just wish to reward them for the vast majority of the 24hr period. I take them out to nice restaurants, go shopping wherein their money is no good, have wonderful conversations on topics I know they like and basically shower them in my appreciation.  Usually at the very end of it all when I check on their mind & heart to be assured they are happy, content, and feel loved, I let them know: This day isn't everyday, nor even weekly. It's a day I choose to go over the top in expressing my appreciation for all they do. I know I'm not easy to be around sometimes. My moods can swing without warning, Beast can come out in need after hes been silent for a week... and so much more. So this day... this is their day to be appreciated.  I use all the knowledge I have about them to help them see I'm paying attention even when it seems I'm not. All to make them have that "warm fuzzy" from head to toe... we go to sleep and wake the next day & POOF! or BOOM! Without fail, every reason I done that for is gone... now they are resistant, fussy, neglectful, unresponsive, petty, as though I woke up and pissed on their tits.

WTF is up with that shit?  Was i.. too nice?  Too caring? Did I put them in a mind that I'm now gonna take that kind of treatment and be fist fukd in the ass (without lube!) with a smile?  The peace and harmony is gone out the window and I literally have to pick the right moment to treat them like total shit just to get us back to where we was.  It feels like disciplining a dog... I hate doing it but I won't tolerate the shit on the carpet.  It feels like I can't ever show them how much they mean to me, I can't say it, I can't express it... I have to keep a firm or hard clasp around their throat, sometimes to the point where they (metaphorically) kick the walls I'm sliding them up till they piss themselves in fear... just to get them back to how we was before the day happened.

I understand Master/Slave dynamic is by all right, the Master is always the Master and the Slave is always held firm in order to be happy... while at the same time they bitch about never being appreciated or given time to themselves or shown mercy, etc.

Is it too hard for partners (sub/slaves) to wrap their minds around the concept of acknowledging and appreciating? Should I just say fuck it, suck that shit down like all the other emotions and just accept that as my part in being Master?

Now full disclosure: Part of me loves it because I can let my Sadist out, be mean, wicked and cruel but it comes at a very high price.  You can't unhear what I say. Bruises heal, cuts mend but I go for the heart, attack the mind and all the training I've done for the past 30+ years to be more "acceptable" and a better Master,  just gets shot all to hell.  With it, the relationship.

Thus I have the rule: Keep the first thing first. Always.  No matter how good or bad life is in the moment keep the first thing first.  We hold each others heart in our hands. Protect it. Respect it. Love it deeply cuz at any moment it can suddenly stop.

Lastly before anyone panics... AngelBunny and I are doing wonderfully.  She and I hit bumps now & then but ooooomg is she worth the time and effort.  Most days I still sit and drool just watching her be herself as she goes about the day.  For her in the above, her resistance/neglect is like forgetting to kneel at the door when I get home... ? resolution: I point it out with an even tone and tell her to be kneeling at the door when I come home. ?  FIXED!  She's so good with open communication.

I ask the above because as we seek out our other to fulfill our Triad/V, the situation is most likely going to arise and I like to be infront of the situation so I can better deal with it when it happens.

Any input is appreciated but please try not to be overly general.  You may only be able to speak to a fraction of the issue but don't worry, I like puzzles and know how to pick gems out to place in proper arrangements.

Thanks in advance, 

Max

I woke up giddy as dream realm slipped into reality, holding my ^AngelBunny^ in my arms as we spooned in the bed.  I couldn't help but chuckle some as I replayed the last things I remembered from the dream.  Lifting myself up some and leaning over her to kiss her lips gently, I stopped and stared at her slowly waking form. "G'morning my beautiful Slave." 

"Good morning, Master." She replied sleepily as she pushed up her sleep mask to one eye squint at me.  Seeing my grin she asked her usual "what?" I looked at the doorway half expecting to see the fox eared, nearly child size woman come running through the doorway in her fox onesie that had been selectively modified to hug her form and show flesh as her brest played peekaboo while she ran.

"Coffee is on, Daddy." She declared happily as she leaped into the four post bed, squirreling up Bunny's body and scattering the pet's from off the bed. "Yip yip." Came the high pitched sound of her mock fox bark as she come to a stop nose to nose with Bunny. Gentle they nuzzled noses broken by lil foxes over exaggerated lick of the tip of Bunny's nose, chased to each cheek.  Bunny mock fought her off, ending it with pulling her little fox fur body to herself. "Good morning to you two, Kit!" Bunny chuckled as she held the girl the best she could while tussling her sandy brown hair. 

"Let your sis up," I stated, giving Kit a swat on her partly bare ass, quickly pulling back on her tail and snatching her off Bunny to claim for myself.  After a quick kiss, I let her set up, straddling across my pelvis to which she went wide eyed, covering her "OH" with one hand as her head dropped shyly while the other reached behind herself.

"Looks like someone woke up happy." Her shy voice rang in my mind, blending with Bunny's real voice as my obviously happy mood pressed against her ass crack.

"It was a very good dream" I growled pulling her onto her back to bite at her lovely exposed nipples... "Remind me to tell you about it later."

Now, whether this was a dream of a horny man who absolutely loves spooning his Bunny, or a vision of future events... idk.  The happiness and raw joy that surrounded my body from the emotions that seemed so real in the dream, echoed for days later.  It wouldn't be the first time I'd seen into the future though I do wish I could remember more details because if you're out there reading this... we are waiting for you to come home, Kit.  Message me when you find this.  Don't hesitate or wonder if it's you the dream was about.  Take the chance & reach out.

With that said... anyone else have these type of dreams?  I'm analytical so I'm use to looking for meaning in a dream but this was so real I could smell her scent.  Everything in me says be patient and still... "Kit" is being just like ^AngelBunny^ when she was watching from the darkness of our woods and if I make too quick of a move, she'll spook and run for her hole.  However I'm a realistic dreamer of hope, I tend to look for the optimistic side with hope but only wait so long before i move on.  Lifes too short to stand still and I have a wonderful life I'm living with Bunny while we look for our "otherkin".

You won't offend me with your comments so what do you think & if possible, why?

Wishful lust?

Future event?

Or ??

G'morning you lovely bunch of kinksters!  It's been forever & a day since I last blogged and that's mainly due to my amount of busyness, life changes & lack of desire to continue to share.  Ever feel like you're only talking in a lecture hall where nobody ever ask questions or makes statements? It's so uninspiring... I have plenty of audience in my own head that will gladly speak up and I don't even have to proofread the damn statement's a hundred times! ?? 

Today however I feel like giving y'all an update to help promote the hope in what you're looking for.

My ^AngelBunny^ & I have had many ups & downs over the past year... some REALLY bad, however when two people.. hmm... two people & a beast?  Fine!  One good woman, and a multitude of umm... whatever the fuk I am, AND a beast (everybody happy now? Yes? Can we continue? Esh...) put the first thing first and gage everything off that... well... the results are quite amazing.  We've meet both sides of our RL family's without bumping heads with them.  My youngest daughter (21yr) unwittingly discovered our lifestyle while living with us... someone said Master... another said slave... damn amazon Alexa!!  We'll just blame that ??. Ok so the sex toys accidentally left on the sink... couch... bed... due to exhaustion!!  may have been the gove away too...  Damn Tybalt (dog) & Monti (cat) need to learn how to clean up after scenes! Anyways, she's a flubber di gidditt so I'm pretty sure the rest of my imps now know also. ? o'well.  We've got an inkling that Bunny's mom may know also but she seems fine with the decision and didn't make it a big deal. Like... it would have mattered but all the same, keeping peace in the family is wonderful when its possible. 

I've gotten out from under some debts, consolidated the rest to save a significant amount of out going finances, replaced the central heat & air so Bunny could have a happier life (yes I know it needed done but having someone to do it for is far more inspiring to me).  Went on a week long vacation to Florida wherein we had a great time. (I'll post pics at the bottom) & all of this is because I learned a valuable lesson... Choose to do the opposite. 

What do I mean by this?

Trembling Rabbit taught my to stop judging people by what they appear to be on the inside, off one or two discussion & take a chance, even if I feel its doomed or a waste of time.  If you find that person you are willing to give your heart to... check the depth of the waters to make sure it's safe to dive into, but don't wait months on end... you've messaged, talked, vid chat, meet up a few times, spent a week together... you was open, they was open, no major flags... wtf are you waiting on? DIVE DIVE DIVE!! Not from the waters edge, but from the top of that wall you've built.  Yes. You may get hurt. But... maybe not. Maybe what you find is everything you thought you required to have a wonderful relationship, was the real things caging you up in the head, holding back the feeling of being alive and experiencing this weird ass emotion called love.

If you dive... don't half ass it.  Go all the way in. Embrace it. Swim in the lake that you dove into and remember that this lake... requires maintenance.  Keep the first thing, first.  Do the big things, do the little things, swat her ass, pull her hair, use toys, DO those things that she likes... while doing things you like.  When storms come, big or small, keep you eye on the lake, remember first thing comes first!  Suck up your pride & swallow that comment of pain induced retaliation.  Hurting people hurt people... why are you here?  Do you wish to have a lake or stomp in shoe sucking mire?  First things first... not just when its convenient or during good times, but every minute of every day. Learn them. Communicate always but do so in a fashion that reflects First thing will always come first... so long as they choose it also, there's very little that the two of you can't do!  Before long you'll find that the beachfront home at the lake you dove into has been hidden beneath the wall you dove from.  You just couldn't see it for the walls.

Life isn't your job, though your job is very important.

Life isn't your kids or spouse/partner, though they are more important than your job.

Life is living.  When you have the first thing first, all the above benefits from it... finds stability in it... even if your first thing first starts with you being in love with who you are... what's this mysterious first thing?  True love.  (Thank you Princess Bride for that cheesey line!) 

In every build up of an argument, I've had to remind myself to keep the first thing first.  I've had to remind my Bunny also... when we both focus on it, it seems the argument just doesn't matter and we talk easier about the issues.  Find a resolution or remind each other of what/when/where because for fuks sake... we are all human... (sigh) ok Beast isn't, but the rest of us are!  We are all faluable, make mistakes, & forget... first thing says, I love her.. maybe she needs a reminder. Maybe she needs her ass swatted.  I'll not know if I give into rage, placing myself first. If I don't communicate in words she understands it's not going to be recieved and she'll just fire back.  The wall will add a block or ten, to start building again... what was the reason you tore that down?  Oh... that's right... the lake.  Its vast, deep, wonderful and this is just a storm troubling the waters.  Did you know that the raging waves are only surface deep?  Dive in... look up... all is quiet here in the depths and the waves take on a different beauty while the lightening flashes above.  I hold it my hand and feel her take it... I look and she's right there.  I don't know when we grew gills but gawd does she look so beautiful with them... 

If you're like me & things seem to fuk up every relationship you get in... Choose the opposite. 

Then make first thing... really first.

(Ga'damn I'm living the happy!)

Max

GETTING TO KNOW YOU CHALLENGE
PART 2

1: Name someone who inspires you daily.

Mammaw

2: The most precious thing you've lost, not a person or pet.

I'm not very materialistic so I can't think of anything atm.  If I do, I'll edit.

3: what brings you the most joy

Watching Butterflies

4: Favourite season and why

Fall:  crisp air, leaves changing, and Halloween!

5: Tattoos, yes or no if yes favourite one

Yes, 3 so far:  Black Cali Lilly's on my forearm.  My daughter has the exact same tat on her shoulder only hers is White.

6: Most exciting thing you've done

Shoot out after a botched drive by attempt

7: Number one buck list thing

Spend a month in Japan

8: Strangest place for sex

Church loft while the sermon was going  unless only oral counts...

Orally in the back seat of my girlfriend's mom's car, while her mom was driving... and occasionally looking at me through the rearview mirror.   GF swallowed the evidence and kissed her mom, full on the lips when we got to our destination. 

9: One mistake you could rectify

Monogamous marriage... or going down on um.. a girl.. ut um.. a few hrs after Mexican food night... bot were rather traumatizing.

10: if you could pick the place of your death, where would it be

Fucking in a graveyard