My Online Domination Journal

One of the eternal problems of unattached Dominants and submissives is how to find their partner. While both face the same problem but the problem manifests itself to them differently. 

Problem faced

For dominants, it is how to attract the attention of potential submissives that matches their kink. 

As for submissives, how do they sift through all those unwanted attention that they are getting so that they can get to those few that deserve their attention. 

General Mistakes

The usual mistake that I know that dominants make is to send a very short message expecting and expecting a reply. 

Another mistake that they make is to send a well written long message without reading that's person's profile. While this strategy might yield some responses but it is not a very good idea. 

Some inexperienced submissives have a hard time saying no so they get dragged through the mud. 

Others feel that they are obliged to reply to every single one of message they receive and they are anxious about it. 

Thoughts

With the exception of a few cases, I believe being able to connect with a submissive is the key to a healthy and exciting D/s relationship so I urge dominants to try and understand the submissive that you are going to message. Remember, dominate the heart, you will get everything.

As for submissives, your submission is a precious gift and thus your time too. It is ok to end conversation with people that you think are not worth your time. If they persist, just block them. You need to get through the noise to be able to get what you crave. You can set a time and respond as much as you can. Leave a few messages for a few days and you will see the true colors of the other person. 

If you are already doing great or even better, please share your thoughts so that we can all learn. Thank you for reading. 

I cherish our time together. I feel that this is a safe space where we can both be ourselves. 

I thank you for your trust because that is what enabled you to let yourself fully out. 

You will sometimes be embarrassed and I want to tell you that it's ok. You are safe here. 

This is a safe space for you to fully express yourself. 

This is a safe space for you to grow. 

This is a safe space for you to share your worries and fears. 

This is a safe space for you to share things that you normally don't share with others due to numerous factors. 

This is a safe space for you to explore what you've wanted to try. 

This is a safe space for you to feel. 

As long as I can be here, this will be our safe space. 

See you soon in our safe space. 

I believe each daddy will have that soft spot for his little girl. 

That part where he wants to take care of his little girl, make his little girl happy and just let her be. 

But doing so would be neglection because this will not help his little girl to grow to her potential. 

In order for his little girl to grow well, she will need to do things that she might not want to but it's good for her. 

In order for her to be healthy, she will need to get enough sleep, eat food that she's supposed to and avoid food that she's not supposed to. 

In order for her to grow, she will need to disciplined to do things that she might not like. 

Context is very important. 

He might get lost in his little girl's story when he said that she has to go to bed at 10pm. 

She pushes pass 1 minute and she giggles and said that she won. 

Does he get angry and punish her? 

No. He acknowledges his shortcoming and learn. 

As much as he want's to get lost in the moment with his little girl. He knows that her growth is important so he has to be firm. 

Her reminding him that it is 1 minute pass shows that she's obedient and she knows yet she's testing him playfully. He might rewardnishment. If she likes spanking...maybe he will give her one session that is enjoyable. There you have both pain and pleasure. 

He ought to remember not to repeat his mistakes if not his words will lose power over time. 

But this doesn't mean that he has to stop everytime on the dot. If she's is down or need more attention because something happened, he should make an exception to take care of her. He uses the powe gifted to him for the benefit of both. If the reason is communicated, she'll surely understand.

He will need to learn his lesson and grow.

She's watching and learning. 

When he brings the best out of her, he also brings the best out of himself. 

Good job is making me lost in the moment with you. I will become better and we will become better together. 

This song is speaking so much to me now.

https://open.spotify.com/track/2Gaynwa8ZoYKdc9w3utD1h?si=6SC09Kk6QRyh8UnioQm6Rw&utm_source=copy-link

I have a lot of feelings and no where to express so here I am. 

You were like a spring breeze that brought life into this barren land. 

The close interaction brought a lot of joy and understanding.

Sadly...it is not spring now. You are gone and with you, all the life and oxygen are gone.

Reverting to the previous state is like suffering from asphyxiation. I hope that you are faring better and suffering from nothing like this. Take care.

I repeated the same mistake again. 

Originally I thought this is like the anime "Your Name" where two person got connected through special circumstances but they are in a different timeline. They were right for each other but they were in different time of their lives. 

Yet...it is just me who didn't learn my lesson. I forgot my mistake and repeated it again. 

I've never believed in the right person and the wrong timing until I've met you. You are definitely the right sub for me but we met at the wrong timing. My guilt pushed you away. Yet I am here wondering how are you after what had happened in the US recently. I don't think you'll ever see this message because I am quite confident that I've hurt you so much that you would probably out of kink for years. I discovered D/s too late and I am not willing to throw everything away to pursue it. You are right. I cannot bury or throw away the dominant side of me. That's why I am in a limbo. I hope that you are doing well and please take care. 

When you have a great submissive, you feel like the king of the world. 

The world that both of you created. 

That shared reality and space that belongs to only both of you. 

Yet, now I feel like my world is crumbling down. 

She has been called to duty due to the covid-19 pandemic in the US.

I haven't been able to get in touch with her since. 

I don't need my crown back, I just want you to be safe and healthy. 

All my thoughts go to you, my cutie. 

Do contact me when you are back. 

I started out in the path of BDSM wrongly. My journey started with my immense pent up sex drive and a question of how nice would it be if I have a sex slave. Obviously I started out like most of what female subs dreaded, an entitled dominant who requests sexual favors before they feel comfortable. Call it a beginner's luck, I was able to woo a submissive who was also starting out. I made a big mistake and that made me learn a lot about domination and what it means to be a dominant. 

Fast forward to years after that initial incident, I have a beautiful and loyal submissive that I was going to let go due to our circumstances. Yet it was painful to do for both of us so we've decided to try again. When we were talking again, she complained about the period which we stopped to be torturing. She felt abandoned and what made it worse was the fact that she can't find anyone to connect to at the same level as me. I asked her what's the difference. She mentioned that most of the dominants just ask for photos and videos. I responded, "That's the same as what I am doing. I ask for sexually explicit photos.". She said that it is different because she feels like she want me to have all of her. That is because I can almost read her mind and that she feels safe with me. She can be herself because I don't judge her and accept her for who she is. I am the the nice combination of being depraved and caring. 

This might be condescending but I want to shout out to all the dominants that if you dominant her heart, you will get everything. It takes a lot of heart on your part to get to know your potential submissive. What are her aspirations and fears? Get to know her and let her know you. This is how trust is built. After that, slowly go at the pace that suits both of you. D/s is like a beautiful dance. Both will need to go at roughly the same pace else both of you are bound to trip. Once you are able to get into her head and her heart, both of you will get everything both of you desire. 

Of course, I am aware that all submissives are unique. I've met submissive who just wants me to humiliate her. The key is to get to know the person and build the relationship. A submissive will return the effort that you have invested many fold.

What do you think? I'd love to hear and learn from your experience. 

Life is so quiet and empty without you.

You’ve brought great joy into my life.

Life’s constraints chose to give up on us.

Us, if there’s another life, I hope that we’ll meet at the right time.

Time will heal, they say.

Say, how are you doing, I wonder.

Wondering how are you doing.

Doing this, brings me no where, except to more emptiness.

Emptiness...that’s life without you.