“Stop fighting your urges and release, let go to the feelings and arousals, and enjoy them, enjoy me”.
I think there will always be a fight. No matter how long we’ve been in the lifestyle. There’s that skepticism. Those urges that we have, to submit or Dominate. Will we get the release we desire from the connection? How will it fit into my life at that moment and will it be enough for the other? Will it come to be more than just the odd play here and there? Or will it grow into something more? What are we wanting out of it?
Do we want to let go of those feelings? Are we willing to openly free ourselves to that possibility of going deeper? All the way?
The unspoken promises of release. The desires and arousals that are obvious. We enjoy. The feelings of knowing you can have what you crave. But then you fear the unknown. What will come of it, how will it come to be, will it last, is this the one relationship that will bring out that true submission that you crave to set free!
It makes you feel, you want to back off, but you go deeper as you enjoy the feelings that are invoked in you. Can you back off after it takes you both mentally and physically? Do you want to back off?
A toe on the line, like a magnet attracting you, your toe is slowly slipping over, being pulled farther, your toe is over, your being drawn into it, and finally you step completely over. That magnet has killed any self control you thought you had, but the closeness of it means you won’t be let go, you won’t fall, you’re safe and secure.
We are different, not one of us have the same needs and desires. Long-term, 24/7, D/s is a requirement for me when I see a relationship. I need that power of another to take over my being. The control is truly spiritual for me, reaches my core, my mind, my whole being.
