When we discuss the D/s psyche it is hard to understand just what motivates my desire to submit, to give up control, to serve. On one side you can argue that it is to do with filling a need in our day to day lives, to counterbalance the daily pressures of leadership and decision making, and the desire to have a space in our lives where we can give away that pressure and relax into the knowledge that someone else is leading and to nourish that we must serve the needs of our leader, our Mistress. You can then argue that in order to reaffirm the superiority of my leader, my Mistress that we must accept and endure pain from in order to reenforce their superiority.
You can then maybe argue that our desire for female leadership and female domination is a reflection of our childhood and the strength and dominance of the women in our lives.
It is difficult though to hold the view of counterbalancing the daily pressures of leadership when you realise, as I do , that our deep seated desire to submit to a dominant Mistress had been there from our earliest memories of childhood play and the desire for those games of cowboy and Indian and cops and robbers to always go just a little further.. to be tied just a little tighter, to be disciplined just a little more…
Whatever the reason it is clear that the desire is both real and deep seated.
The desire to demonstrate my submission to my Mistress, and to do whatever I can to please, in order that I may be rewarded with praise and protection.
The desire for pain is then a confusion of the need to demonstrate submission and the sheer physical rush generated by chemical release from certain types of pain specifically to demonstrate my Mistress’s sexual dominance…
Whatever the reality here the chemical high generated by enduring sexual pain for my Mistress is truly intoxicating and addictive. The excitement of the rush when the clamps bite on my nipples and the way in which it makes my submission present and real is extraordinary and then the need to see how much, how far, how strong.
The desire and need to demonstrate my submission thru trial and pain is one which is oddly calming and reaffirms the superiority of Mistress and the protection and nourishment I will be rewarded with if I am able to impress.
The reasoning is multi layered and sometimes confusing but the desire is both real and clear.