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This one is NOT about food

*Ahem* Okay, so let's all take a deep breath and a small moment. I made this blog with the intention of making a post. Instead of creating a blog about ME, I made it with the sole intention of telling people about a small victory I achieved in an average everyday life experience.

So I'm here once again to say "Let's get this RIGHT". If you couldn't tell I enjoy food, so there will be moments where I share a mistake I made in the kitchen or a success. But that's not all I'm about.

I'm not a social media guy, I got rid of Facebook, didn't want instagram, said screw it to snapchat, refused tik tok and don't get me started on dating apps.... But I wanted to reach out and create something for myself and those around me who might gain some knowledge or better themselves from an experience I've had. (Yes, I still plan on talking about food. Just not the whole time.)

So Round 2, FIGHT!!!!
6 days ago. Nov 25, 2021, 8:32 AM

Good sweet Evening Cage friends, 


Holy freak its been a very long time. I have disappeared into the simple life focusing on myself and working at developing who I am and where I want to go. 


Now tis the season for all the change. Many things have happened over the last few months and weeks. I have been keeping quiet because I havent felt led to bring my journey into the spotlight. I like sulking in the shadows and this has been a period for quiet reflection and self improvement. 


I could begin to regale you with wonderful tales of how my life has shifted and I definitely will share some of the more interesting/big life changes that I am experiencing. I still plan to hold onto certain pieces of me that really are for myself and those very close to me. 


Probably the biggest news is the fact that I am finalizing my divorce. Going through the process of separation/proceedings/mediation which is now coming up on 2 years in January. The interesting part is that come January 1st of 2022 I will be officially divorced and making the necessary shifts to get myself back into financial stability and moving forward. The situation will be a little bit complicated as I will still be in some contact with my ex. As part of the process will include us being tied by a property for 4 years. This is all very good and positive though as I am able to move forward and so is my ex in our respective ways that were most important to us. 


There is a lot of change that has occured with work as we have moved into the reorganization of the work structure and while we have been existing inside the new system since the summer there are changes happening and being instigated now in regards to that. As much change is happening most of it is positive from my perspective despite the general low moral and displeasure of a lot of my co-workers. But its all in the perspective. I choose to feel positive about what's coming through although I don't have any issues working nights and weekends which is probably why I am less bothered than many who are up in arms over the foreseeable future. 


As for my personal walk within D/s and the lifestyle things are going well. I have found a remarkable opportunity that may indeed allow me to take massive leaps and bounds forward in my walk if all works out well. My slave and I are getting more and more excited for the impending meeting that we have arranged in February. The neat little wrapping up of my divorce also brings relief in some senses that I will be a free man (so to speak) when we finally do meet in person for the first time. In some ways I have not been stretching myself in new directions in my walk but focusing on mastering what's in front of me. I have added some new skills that I am just developing and trying to tie together all the ways I apply my Dominance into my girls life. We are enjoying the routines that we have built but even those will be altering once January rolls around. So taking these precious moments and savouring them while we can is important. 


There is still so much to do and so many areas where I *feel* lacking and like I may yet be so much farther along. But its the daily dedication to mastering the abilities I desire to make my life abundant, joyful, fulfilling, satisfying, exciting and thrilling. There will be new challenges on the horizon with all of these changes and a bit of a learning curve as W/we shift. Its just reminding myself that where I was a year ago I have grown so much. Giving myself grace and acceptance of where I am at. Knowing that so long as I continue to dedicate myself to my passions that I will grow more and more and continue to reach the goals I set for myself. I know I've come a long way and I am grateful I still have so much yet to accomplish. Reaching new levels will allow for more interesting interactions and I am very much looking forward to the near future and all that will unlock for me. Its a very exciting time with so much going on and I simply can't wait to see what's just around the corner. 


I hope A/all are well and finding success in walking their path, whatever that happens to look like for Y/you. 


As an added bonus here is a small bit of me and some of the foolishness that I enjoy doing with my mouth. This is me enjoying the learning process and testing what I can accomplish currently (really a few weeks ago)




1 month ago. Oct 6, 2021, 2:53 AM

Hello Cage friends, 


*Disclaimer: Cannabis was used in the production of this blog*


I have to admit I have turtled into my busy life lately. I have disappeared from Cage in order to work on myself and some of the imminent goals that require my attention. I have been self centered. I have not wanted to share my journey because somethings are simply for myself and my girl. 


That being said I am grateful that I feel motivated to open my voice and share a part of my life and my journey. 


Recently I had read a blog (as I have been dropping in from time to time to see what's been going on, but had not felt the motivation that my journey would be particularly useful to share) and there were some strong words used. Suffice it to say the comment that stuck with me happened to point a common flaw among men yet the writer pointed out it was inside every male. 


I did the guy thing. I immediately thought to myself "Yeah but thats not me." The funny thing is though the author wasnt wrong. But I believe the idea should in fact be more generalized. Its the human thing to be our worst selves. At least every once in a while. When I first thought back to my previous actions during my past relationships you could easily be told of a very different boyfriend/fiance/and husband. We all make mistakes, sometimes we say things we don't mean, sometimes we put our foot in our mouth. Sometimes we don't handle our anger well. Sometimes it feels like we utterly and completely fail. 


But here's a massive secret. 


We ALL fail. Fall short. We all miss the mark. It just depends what your mark is. Because mine is different and shifts every single day. Or week. Or month. 


You know what's amazing? We all evolve. 


Now dont get me wrong. There are those that intentionally create false identities to get what they can as soon as possible. Some people are created and made different. With different perspectives. Different opinions thoughts and feelings on what dominance is. How to express it. What does it mean? If you are someone committed to the lifestyle then you will do the work of finding who you are within this question. You will do this work and find this answer before you begin your search for your s type. Self awareness and understanding oneself so you can efficiently communicate that to your partner is essential. 


While we all fall down the best part about humans is we can evolve. We grow each day if we take the time and effort to try and improve. As I said depending which of my ex's you speak with you will get a radically different view of who I am. Or was. Each relationship I made mistakes and failed a required NEED of my person. While all of my history happened to exist inside of the vanilla world I still missed the mark in all sorts of ways. Because not being able to have something like honesty within a relationship is a sure fire way to have it fail. I struggled with that in every one of my relationships. Even my current one. 


There were days and weeks where I lied and the guilt ate away inside of me, causing so much internal damage and negativity. I had no reason to lie but I still chose that action. The thing is, now in my life I'm willing to bring my mistakes forward. I'm willing to admit I'm human. I'm not perfect and I never will be. 


So while as young humans we tend to make poor choices. The question becomes do we learn from that and evolve and improve? I cant go back into the past and change any action Ive committed. But I CAN walk forward and choose my best option. I can be my BEST self today. 


Now some of you may be confused. Why in the blue blazes is the title of this blog RoM?


Because part of my journey involves taking affirmative action towards my health. This happens to involve calisthenics. 


Now Ive spent my night shifts over the last while watching YouTube videos trying to learn my highest priority hobbies. These include beatboxing, calisthenics and Halo 5. I am trying to learn as much as I can within these fields currently to focus and spend in my free time. 


I recently observed a new to me channel of a calisthenics practitioner. Now I don't have a time stamped day of when I set the internal goal for myself to do a HSPU(hand stand push up) but I do believe I have been working towards this for over a year. Guess how far Ive made it? 


I still cant even manage a full handstand. 


I have been struggling to perform a balanced hand stand. I used to be able to do one when I was in middle school. Some nearly 20 years ago. As I was learning some different progressions the creator of this channel pointed out a few really critical important factors to find success. 




This is your bodies range of motion. Sondre Berg (heres a little sample of what he is capable of:



) as you can see he puts a massive amount of pressure on his joints and in one of his blogs he mentions getting the question "How do you manage those movements, how do your wrists cope?" He went on to explain the exercises he works at to build strength and flexibility within his wrists such that he gained "wrists of steel". Part of his explanation involved the concept that you have to have certain ranges of how your body can move. Getting proper alignment with shoulders over wrists and hips all in line, you need to be able to bend at least 90 degrees in your wrists. Because you will put way too much pressure on your shoulders if you don't achieve that angle, and you will eventually cause damage to yourself. The crazy amazing thing is that you can learn. You can work and build that flexibility. It just takes consistent effort each day. 


Because of Sondre, I now have the tools I need and the middle ground progressions that I am capable of managing to work at building the strength necessary to sustain my body weight. To find the balance. To have proper form. I have seen more progress in the last week and a half than I have in the year Ive been working towards my goals. 


The thing is I was throwing myself at the end goal, trying to be at the end of where I want to be. I'm simply not there yet. That is a fact. I was throwing myself up against this wall trying to be "perfect". But rarely if ever can we jump to the deep end of a skill when we are just starting. Some of us have natural talent, different bodies, different minds and can process and succeed in new skills with little effort. But each of us has natural skills and talents. Although we get to choose what we build and gain experience and expertise in. What we want to gain mastery of. 


I can be the best man I can be. I can do better than yesterday. I may fall down but each stumble will become my foundation. I will build my experience and walk taller standing on my past learned experiences. I will stretch my back, my wrists each day. I will work at building strength each day. I will take small steps towards my goals until I accomplish what Ive set out to do. Eventually I will no longer need "my failure today to build success tomorrow" because tomorrow will come and I will find success within that skill/goal. It will take daily dedication but I will accomplish everything no matter how many millions of small steps I need to take. 


I wish everyone success in life, and I hope that you are able to find the steps you need to fill in the gaps of where you want to be and where you are now. Sometimes I think it requires taking a smaller step because we aren't quite there yet. But you have to be willing to do the work. You cant blame anyone else. No one will change anything in your life. (<< This is not technically true, but the point is at the end of the day you must choose how you will act and what steps you will take responsibility for) The burden is on you to be better, and no one can hold your hand while you try and grow. Of course support is available and should be relied upon. No person stands alone. We don't have to accomplish every last thing by ourselves. Whether its a friend, a professional, a partner or even a random stranger you may need to reach out and lean on them. Ask advice and their perspective. Sometimes a second set of eyes can bring new perspective that opens your mind and allows you to see things differently. The more perspective you have the easier it will be to choose a path that you believe in. When you see all the information you can use what is best suited for you (or your person) and how you want to create a scene that will aid by creating the inspiration for growth and change. As dominants we aren't able to change anything inside another person, except we can lead. We can help inspire our perspective right side of the slash to want that improvement. We can show them that we are willing and able to do the work in our self. Create a guide and say "follow me". 


Part of this comes when you know your Will. When you can answer important questions. When you see yourself. 


The thing is we have a million things we can work on in a day. We can clean, cook, take care of property, do laundry, look after children (if you have them) and thats the humdrum life needs to happen things. Part of life is making sure each area is attended. That each section gets attention. Honestly I can neglect my dishes and my kitchen. I can procrastinate in any area. But I ensure that I get back to an area especially if I have neglected it. The funny part is how much more work something becomes the more you put it off. If only I had just taken 15 minutes each day to work at this instead of having to spend 6 hours or days and weeks getting something under control. Keeping on top all of the different areas is essential. 


This all said some days you are just utterly exhausted and like yesterday you just sleep, and nap and rest until you realized the whole day has been used up. Taking time to recuperate, to rest, to recover, to take a day off is important too. Overworking yourself wont gain you results, it will pull you farther away from your end goal. At least that has been my experience. 


To those that choose to read my words today I thank you. I wish you luck in your journey that you find success and joy. 

3 months ago. Aug 24, 2021, 8:43 AM

Hello Cage friends, 


Lately I have found myself choosing to take time for myself. I have not been desiring bringing my walk into the public life. I have been stepping away choosing not to actively read blogs (with a few exceptions) and spend my time focused on what needs to be resolved and worked towards in my life. 


Good things abound. 


Life has radically shifted. It has been very good to understand parts of who I am and being able to share that with someone tangible in my life. Not only to be able to sit down and spend 1 on 1 time with someone who was not a part of my life for multiple years, but beyond Covid to get close to being back with those who matter in our world. 


The part that made me especially proud was being able to express my interests and ideals to someone in my family. Not only that I could explain my path and reach into the different mindsets that I have developed into my style of D/s and M/s. I could simply explain my long term goals, my Will in regards to where Im walking and how I choose to get there. 


Part of this weekend (technically apart of my vacation) really for the first time in my relationship I left my home and travelled to visit my sister to help my family build a deck for her property. We've been working for 2 days and should have it taken care of tomorrow before we head home. While I'm away I havent had the same opportunities and it has been difficult to follow through with an intention that I set with my slave. Although I have managed to keep it thus far, there has been some tough moments to exist in. Its not easy when the P/person that makes life comfortable and relaxing and better in everyway isnt really around. So its been challenging for my slave. But even this bit of distance helps foster trust and gives some freedom to creation and inspiration for O/our journey forward. I have been blessed with good fortune that I would be able to learn and grow. To create more concrete ideas of how I want to experience life, and how I want my girl to experience life. 


It is time to share the fact that W/we have concrete plans to meet in person. W/we have set a date, a time, a location, and while W/we still have months away before W/we will connect for the first time. The countdown is on, its real, it exists and one day shortly there will be a moment where I can experience a scene beyond a camera screen. 


So to those ends, I do desire to bring up the point about goals. Making short term, medium term, and long term goals. 


I have goals I try to accomplish daily. This is the simple but sometimes exhausting everyday cycle. For me that exists with attempting to keep up with my animals, my housework, being hygienic, taking care of dishes and laundry. Exercising my mind and body. Speaking with my girl and having fantastic conversations that can distort time and vanish hours without realizing it. Its about following the daily routines that matter to U/us. I have things that I have created as medium and long term goals and I set daily tasks around accomplishing those goals which have longer completion times. 


For instance, setting a goal about building strength such that I may be able to lift my girl. To those ends, setting a specific goal of achieving a free standing hand stand push up. So each day I exercise, I focus on calisthenics routines that are working towards achieving that. Its about building a mastery in the areas of my life that are important to me. Whether someone else sees value in them is kind of secondary because these are things that I am passionate about. I get excited when I try to share and explain what my understanding of these things are. But I'm still learning little by little. Which is why I've adopted the mantra of " Failure today, leads to success tomorrow". It is about the parts of who we are that take patience to grow. Its about the respect for a craft that takes time to become a Master. Its the idea that what I accomplish today will be the stepping stone for my progress tomorrow. If I dont level everything out, if the proper care isnt taken to ensure everything is square, the next step of the project becomes more difficult because you are fighting with the mistakes of yesterday. Going slowly, ensuring you do the best you can on each step, so that you are most adequately prepared for the next stage, the next rebirth, the next iteration of what needs to happen. That is the essence of what it means for me "Failure today, leads to success tomorrow". 


Now there are concrete plans to meet and I finally have a chance to plan, orchestrate, organize and form my scenes that I want to begin walking and first experience next to my girl. The question of what do I want her to experience resounds so much louder in my head because I can see a time and space and place where this will actually happen. So what items and equipment will I require? What skills should I focus on with the remaining time I have to gain competency in the areas I need to play in? What is essential information? Where should I focus my learning such that I am capable of delivering on each promise and intention Ive made to her? Where is it that I am led to show her experience beyond trauma? How will I work to move through different phases of life and turn triggers into moments that simply take silent acceptance rather than explosive reactivity? Which triggers will I focus on? How will I approach each tender and sensitive area? What methods and means will I require and how will I choose to navigate these spaces and yet create the essence of safety underlying it all? What ways can I reinforce her security? What ways will build trust? How do we take this opportunity to deepen our bond and move into a much more real and serious place? 


I dont have the answers to these questions but I'm working through them. I'm finding answers in different spaces. I'm experiencing new things and taking those lessons to heart to better understand where I may ask my slave to walk for me. The fun part is when days of working on different aspects of life suddenly collapse into a single point where it all lines up with the concept youve been developing, the experience you just received, the daily work youve been doing, and you take an already amazing concept and add a layer to help create something more intricate, more intentional and very hopefully more rewarding in both short and long term. Although its all still a work in progress and will be until the day of the scene. After that it becomes a chapter in the book of O/our experience. Next time W/we pick up that particular book we can take the next chapter which may evolve given our past experience.  Or I may choose to open a new book and develop a different narrative based on different characters to focus on a different part of the soul. But once W/we write a chapter then W/we simply learn from that experience and expand and evolve the next segment to reflect what W/we've learned and how W/we have developed O/our skillsets. Taking each story a little farther once W/we have gained essential experience to truly level up O/our understanding and execution. 


Needless to say life is good, and there is so much hope and excitement for the future. It will all take time but I'm going to do my work on who I am. I'm going to do my best everyday to work hard at what matters to me. Thats all I am capable of doing, but I will excel. I will Master all of that which I set in front of me. 


Thank you for choosing to read my words tonight, I hope that looking into my journey you find insight into your own way forward. 

4 months ago. Jul 30, 2021, 10:25 PM

Hello Cage friends,


We all walk our own paths, each of us has moments of trauma or highlights of experience. We each create markers of our lives and look for significance to say "Ive made it this far". 


Each marker, each milestone will look different for the individual. It will look different for the specific person vs the relationship. Because you may have a personal goal and yet those are separate and distinct from the goals of the dynamic. They are different than the goals set by your Person, or different than the goals you set for your person. 


As dynamics move forward you will pass through these stages. As you grow and build trust and reach deeper spaces you will see and acknowledge the different stages, markers and milestones you walk past for yourself and for the relationship. 


Recently progress has been made in massive and tremendous ways. 


Faith and I have hit a fair few massive milestones in just the last 3 weeks. She just recently posted about strength and I laughed when we read her post together one day after work. I had intended to write a post about my side of the experience and low and behold she beat me to the punch. So here I am, in a sense writing a follow up and yet this is about my experience. About my perspective. You may see where things correlate but as a Dominant I hold a different perspective and experience of the same events. 


So to begin I first need to delve into my history just a tiny bit. 


In all of my past failed relationships I really did not feel comfortable. I struggled being honest. I struggled with negativity. I struggled with infidelity. I made plenty of mistakes and I have many more yet to make. Although I am learning my lessons and working at not repeating my history, I still struggle in learning the lessons of those previous errors. I'm hopeful that as I age and improve I will work at making new glorious mistakes such that I learn new lessons and continue the process of becoming the best version of myself. 


In the past one thing I did was in essence lose respect for my person. I didnt show them the respect they had earned because I didnt see them as capable of handling me. I did not embrace their strength because I was concerned that they would not be able to handle what I desired. I did not believe in their strength.


Part of the conversation that Faith and I had revolved around the concept of Person only desiring one aspect of what she may offer. Or only seeking what they needed from her. In many senses they saw her innocence and did not want to besmirch how they viewed her. They didnt want to corrupt or taint who she was to them. But that was just a way in which they were saying "I dont trust in your strength because you cant handle me in my totality." 


Within these past weeks Ive reached a point. Ive passed a marker. W/we have reached a new stage of the relationship because for the first time in my life I made the intentional choice to believe in her strength. I witnessed her actions, her words, her dedication and I trusted in her. I believed in her strength and when we finished our conversation I put into practice my trust in her strength. I didnt hold myself back from anything less than what I needed. I didnt curb my words, although I didnt quite lean into my deepest desires. But I walked forward in my thoughts and actions knowing she was strong enough to exist for me. I trusted her to not only support me, but witness me in my totality and accept who I was. W/we went deeper into existing for each other. W/we took a giant leap forward together. By simply being and allowing each other to exist in the most natural of states, without reservation. 


Now, each person has their own milestones of whats important to them. Whether it be as simple as telling the truth over something youve lied about in the past. Or inviting your significant other to meet your child. Maybe its about creating a drawer for that P/person in your home. It can be as simple or complex as you require it to be. If its important and essential to you then it will become a milestone that you watch for when your P/person walks past that point. When it is reached you will soar to new heights together. It will deepen trust and your dynamic will evolve. 


I found it exceptionally liberating to believe in my girls strength. I found it exhilarating and completely transformative to have trust and faith in her in such a way. Its opened my eyes in new ways and I can be more authentically myself when, where and how I need. She gives me strength to be who I am because I trust in her and her strength. Because she is exactly who I need in all ways and she will serve me exceptionally now and in the future to come. 


Thank you for reading my words and taking the time to observe O/our journey. I hope it helps inspire you to take steps in your own walk that you find deeper satisfaction and joy. 

4 months ago. Jul 25, 2021, 12:17 PM

Hello Cage friends,


As a dominant I am looking to craft my own little world. I am looking to find the pieces that are lacking and improve upon them. I want to create my own space, my own world, my own universe. Now I'm not God, I am all too human. But as a Dominant I wish to create my ideal property, I want to form and shape my reality. 


I have been considering the house I want to live in. How many rooms should it have? Which one will become sound proofed? How do I desire the layout of my perfect home to look like? What should that include? Would there be a large yard? Would it be close to neighbors or would it be secluded? There are so many considerations. I like where I currently live but there are so many ways I desire something just a little different. In many ways finding a space that I can craft my perfect home in, exactly how I see it, almost like a blank slate to do what I want with. To make it fit perfectly into my life. 


Part of creating something to fit perfectly into your life begins with knowing yourself. Its about knowing your Will. Understanding your needs. Its about shaping your reality around those aspects of the fundamental parts of yourself. Finding ways to make your space work for and with you. I have had lots of different ideas on how to make this happen, but its also about finding the property with the bones and framework set up to make those concepts reality. If the framework for the house has been set, and it doesnt work with the concepts you have in mind then in order to make that property perfection you have to destroy everything and create it brand new from scratch. Where as if you find a home that already fits the concepts it just requires some renovations to form that property into exactly what you are looking for. 


Now, these concepts all apply to your s type. 


Consider a dynamic where you feel forced, like every aspect of the interaction requires tremendous energy to move forward because you are not aligned. You have radically different views on what submission looks like, what dominance should entail. Now dont get me wrong, two people with different perspectives can still be a match. It can be very beneficial to have differing viewpoints creating different perspectives so you gain a more complete view of the situation. But when each aspect of who you are as a Dominant, and your prospective submissive clash then trying to move the collective dynamic is like trudging through quick sand. It is the house with the framework that doesnt fit your concepts. It takes massive work to start from scratch and try to build something from the ground up. Now in a sense building from absolute ground zero can be quite prosperous. You get to make every tiny detail exactly to your specifications. But this requires immense effort, patience and time. Well any worthwhile dynamic will have those components. These are quite essential in my humble opinion. I guess the point I'm attempting to make is that you can make a dynamic work but if you dont have anything in common, your desires are different and your opinions clash, if there is no commonality between the two (or more) of you then it becomes much more difficult to create a healthy thriving dynamic that fits all parties involved. 


When I "met" The Velveteen Slave I knew immediately that she was someone worth my time. Yet I didnt fully comprehend just exactly how well we would meet each other. As we've spent each day conversing and spending time together we are slowly realizing from both sides how well we meet and fit for each other. We are both weird yet our weird is impeccable together. More and more, day by day we grow closer and the deeper we walk into each others space the more we realize how our needs line up. Just the other day the comment was made "how have we not realized these things (intrinsic needs we both share) about each other until now? How did it take this long to know each other in this way?" The thing is it takes time to build trust between people. It takes dedication and showing up consistently to earn that place within the others mind. You dont get a free pass, you should have to prove yourself in some way to earn the reward of that trust. Sometimes that reward is a sacred piece of information that only you hold, or getting to understand your girl in a way no one else understands her. Perhaps its having the revelation of a new aspect of the nature of her character, or a new area of play you are now both comfortable attempting because trust has been formed. 


Regardless of how well you meet each other though there will always be some work that needs to be done. There should be a future goal of aspiration and forward momentum. No matter how well the bones and framework of the house meet the expectations for your future vision, for the concepts you envision there will be renovations and adjustments that are required. 


When I met my slave I had no idea who she truly was, I had no idea what she looked like, I had no real idea of anything. Yet I was drawn to her. I felt the intense connection of how she met me in the small and big ways. More importantly I met her needs, but I didnt know it when we first began talking. It wasnt until over a year later that I began to see more and more how we perfectly meld together. See, I believe in the process of shaping and molding my girl. She is a diamond. She is beautiful and strong. I believe though that altering the physical aspects of who she is to be a much easier process than altering the mental. I mean her true nature of the quality of her character has been ingrained since she was born. The trials and tribulations shes had to overcome and walk through. The trauma and discomfort, the pain and sorrow shes born witness to. How shes handled herself and grown has been predetermined in a sense. I see the quality of her character and I am damn proud of who she is, how she acts, the ways she cares for those around her. She amazes me everyday. Its much more difficult to change the nature of someone. That said though, if it is important by diligent action, consistent discipline, creating a solid well thought out plan can help shift and mold and shape the form of her nature. I'm damn fortunate though that her nature fits perfectly with mine. I only need to help create a safe space such that I can help embolden the aspects of her character that she hides to protect herself. I want to pull at the spaces she feels uncomfortable expressing, I want her to know that I will hold a space for her without judgement for all aspects of who she is. Really to me shaping the physical form takes diligent effort, but anyone can accomplish that. Its building a routine thats healthy and sticking to it. But learning how to create a safe space such that she trusts my hands to mold her into exactly as I desire and will her. That takes true dedication. I want to see those hidden parts of her poke their head out and become embraced by my Dominant. That is truly worth my time and effort, and when you see the results and work towards a collective goal you both desire thats the true beauty of a dynamic. 


Ive been working at shaping my girls mind, I have been delving deeper into her true nature and I adore all that I see. I am immensely grateful to her and her continued support. That she knows and is learning how to exist quietly for me when I'm angry and frustrated. That she gives me space to be angry is a tremendous thing for me because Ive never known how to appropriately hold my anger. Its been a challenging process, one I struggle in more often than not. Yet she remains by my side. She remains faithful. She has told me countless times how even when I'm frustrated and pissed off that she still trusts me and would gladly kneel beside or in front of me, even in my anger. It makes my heart overjoyed to know how deeply she trusts me, and to see further growth in that trust each day is amazing and stupendous. 


We still have so much to learn about each other. We still have so much room for growth, but we have both come a hell of a long way. I cant wait to see whats around the corner for us, and I am excited for the future that I am shaping and molding her for. I know she will serve me to the best of her ability each and every day. Of course there is a bit of leeway here, as days shes sick or emotionally scattered it will become more challenging to serve. But sometimes the way you serve is simply allow yourself to be taken care of. Or kneeling in silence. Quiet support. Active participation. It all depends on the day, your mental well being and where you are at emotionally and physically. But I know she will do everything in her power to serve me with diligence, she will honour me in each moment. She will make me a focus of her life, and I am grateful that her focus on me helps motivate and inspire her to greater heights. 


Thank you to those who have taken the time to read my words today. I hope something about our journey sticks in your mind, or helps you navigate your own journey. I hope you all have an excellent day. 



4 months ago. Jul 24, 2021, 11:15 AM

Hello Cage friends,


If youve been paying attention you will notice I havent been participating much within this community lately. I have been self centered, or as I prefer to term it self focused lately. There have been so many wonderful amazing moments in my life, and yet I have also been trying to manage the stress, anger, frustration, anxiety, depression and worry that exists in my life. 


I just recently turned 30. In many ways it was just another day, yet I have been trying to make it a turning point in my life. I have just finished my vacation and today is the second day back to work. It has been challenging coming back into work, it seems the more time away I have from my job the more difficult it is to step back here. Especially that first day. Part of the reason walking back into my work space is so challenging is because my work is going through radical changes right now. The beginning of August marks the shift into the new structure of our entire department. People are no longer doing the job they have been for the last 10, 15 or 20 years. Management has upset nearly our entire work force, morale has never been lower, and everyone is on edge, upset, frustrated or stressed. Whats going to change? Will I still hold this position? Work this shift? Will my work partner change? What and how will things be different? Will my roles and responsibilities transform? Coming back into this space has been a challenge. I feel numb. I feel angry. I feel frustrated. I see the quality of my work has diminished in areas. I dont have as much patience with the customers I interact with. I am much less motivated. These things impact me. When I act with less integrity, with less compassion, with less care each one of these things hits me harder because I am failing in new ways that previously Ive had great success. Dont get me wrong I'm still good at my job, but it now requires more effort, more energy, more motivation to reach the same level of quality that I did attain a year ago. 


Lately I have been asking myself the question "What is it I want to accomplish by my hand?" The premise of this line of questioning ultimately comes down to "What do I want/need to spend my time doing?" I choose how to act in each moment. I choose how and where my hands work. I have always found I enjoy paper and pen. I like working with my hands. I prefer to make a dough with a whisk and my hands rather than a machine. I prefer to wash my dishes by hand rather than the dish washer. I like the concept of using my hands to accomplish visible task in front of me. But I am putting my hands to their best use? Am I making the right decisions for me, for those in my life? Am I using my time wisely? Many times there is this internal voice screaming at me that I'm doing it all wrong. That I'm making mistakes. That I'm nothing but a failure, even when I can see steps in progress. That those steps are meaningless, that I have no value, worth or anything important to say. Addressing this voice is challenging. Because each time I make progress it still manages to poke me and glaringly focus my attention on what Ive done wrong. Where Ive missed the mark. Even when Ive hit the bullseye. 


One way Ive been working in my life is to recognize that the many tasks on my plate will not be accomplished in a single day. There is simply too much work to do. From the house, to the animals, to my job, to my personal life, and all the ways life happens. So I have given up on fixing and finishing anything within a day. Its not about spending 4 hours on a single task to "just get it done". For me that doesnt work. I struggle to find the motivation to work that way in my personal life. I have found a modicum of success in acknowledging that my hands work best when I take 2 minutes, 3 minutes, 5 minutes or maybe half an hour to work towards accomplishing this goal today. Then move onto the next item on the list and give it 2 minutes, 3 minutes or simply whatever I can manage today. I have what feels like a never ending supply of *tasks to accomplish*, and I feel like I am unable to work through them all. So I do what I can to put just a few minutes towards making progress this day, in this moment. If I create consistent routines of managing each task a little each day, eventually I will reach a point where all of the "to do" will become "now done". It all comes down to consistency. The biggest issue with this method exists if you do not accomplish these tasks consistently. If you let something slip for a day, or two or a week when you begin to try and make progress then you need to spend more than half an hour just to make up the lost progress from neglecting that task the last week. A perfect example for me are my dishes. Ive begun to enjoy cooking more readily, trying to improve my skill and ability within the kitchen. Trying more complicated recipes, more intensive and challenging dishes. This has been fun and satisfying especially when I create something delicious. But I can make so many dishes when I try something new. If I havent kept up with my dishes for a weeks time then it can take me hours to clean up my space. If I spent just 2 minutes washing dishes I would never get ahead and my kitchen would never become clean. The thing is it becomes my choice not to do dishes (whether its for legitimate reasons or laziness or what ever the reason is I didnt wash dishes today) and when we choose to ignore a task it becomes that much more challenging to overcome the neglect. 


The longer we neglect something the larger an obstacle it becomes. Neglect can turn a molehill into a mountain. Neglect can create problems where none existed before. So where and how do I spend my time so I am not neglecting any one particular task for an extended period of time? Part of that would be organizing the important tasks and arranging everything such that you touch each task at least every couple of days. I'm still working at the organizing part, as its never been my strong suit. For the most part this new system has been fairly successful for me. I am still working at the consistent part and tweaking different ways of where and how I show up but its been reasonable so far. One of the largest issues I face is that I dont follow the consistent effort, although when I manage my blocks of time in short bursts its much easier to remain consistent. I can focus and burst to try tackling a task for a few hours at a time but then I find myself neglecting that task over the next few days or even weeks. Its this mental concept where Ive extended all of my effort towards this thing and have none left over. Focusing on the idea that I just need to keep picking away little by little and work at being productive in the different areas each day is a much more manageable way of life for myself. Its not perfect, and I still struggle but I am finding more consistent success in this approach then "do all the things today". 



I found this ^^^ to be quite insightful and based similarly on the concept that I am trying to build in my life. 


Now how does all of this (time, effort, diligence, consistency) apply to space? First off you need to identify what space you are referring to. For me I break up space as internal or external. Internal space would be anything from the pain in my elbow, to the thoughts in my head, to the emotions I feel. The internal space of myself. How can I work on my internal space? Well I can dedicate time to meditating everyday (well I have missed the mark on that most days, but its still a priority). I can focus on my mental well being, my emotional well being, my physical well being, my spiritual well being. I can focus by setting goals and working towards them. The easiest to describe would be my goals for my physical well being. I have goals of things I desire to accomplish for me in my journey through calisthenics. If I am to become serious about my physical space then dedicated solid time to this particular goal, breaking it down into exercises and sets of exercise to build strength to accomplish what I ultimately want. In fact Ive recently managed to hold a handstand upright for longer than 10 seconds which I had never accomplished except back in middle school. Its been a long road to mastering my handstand and technically I'm still not there because I cant do it every time consistently yet. But I have managed a time or two to find the balance point and am actively learning how to suspend my body upside down on my own hands. Now, there is one other concept that I wish to apply to space. Its the embodiment and intention behind the physical space that you exist in while accomplishing these goals regarding internal space. So I have a room inside my house. This room exists and yet will serve innumerable ways to me in my life. This single room becomes my gaming room, my meditation room, my work out room, my dungeon, my anything I need it to be. How does this singular space exist in all these capacities? It is the intention that I set within myself before I step through the threshold. If I am about to begin a work out, trying to master my handstand, my L sit, my physical goal for the day I set in my mind exactly how this space will serve me. "This is my workout room, I will exert myself, I will push myself, I will go beyond and master my physical self" then step into the room. I find it helpful to set the intention before walking into the space such that I am more motivated and energized to accomplish my goals. The intention will shift and be altered depending if this is my meditation room, or my relaxation (sit and watch Netflix room), my gaming room, my creative room, my dungeon.


I do have to say though my dungeon is not necessarily a physical space. My dungeon is my girls mind. This is where we start to move into the external space. External space is anything outside of myself. This includes my house and property. My animals. My yard. My vehicle. My dishes. My girl. My girls mind. My girls body. My girls emotions and emotional well being. My girls mental well being. My girls physical well being. My girls spiritual well being. When delving into my property, when handling my external space I again work at setting intentions prior to walking through those spaces. Its in the moment when you set a goal, I will clean these dishes (setting aside the ones you will need to make the next meal in, plus a few extras to make progress towards cleaning the kitchen). Its about having plans for all sorts of fun with your property, and then realizing that something isnt right so shifting the immediate priority and goal to handle the well being of your property. Its about creating a safe space where the ultimate goal is the overall well being of your dynamic, which may have to include adjusting the set intention from sexy fun times to handling negative view of self. Ideally you do this in such a way that there is a completeness to the healing that after youve properly addressed the negative self view both of Y/you can then walk into the sexy fun times with much more vigor and enthusiasm. Of course depending on the severity and intensity if you choose to adjust the intention from sexy fun times to handling the well being of your property you may not be able to walk back into the space of sexy enjoyment. It depends on the way you manage, the issue at hand itself, the toll this disruption has taken on your girls mental well being and how she feels after the corrective process. 


The point of all of this is simply this: How you spend your time, how you use your words, how you view your space, how you expend your effort, how you set your intentions, how you exist all matter. We all make choices. We all make decisions in life. Work towards making the best decisions possible for yourself, your dynamic, your girl. Make each moment count and if you miss the mark aim to do better, be better and act better tomorrow. We still have time, but each second is priceless. As time marches forward our lives are shortened bit by bit. We dont know how much time we have been granted. We dont know how long we have left. Make this moment count and if you mess it up, do your best to make it better the next chance you get. It very well may be your last chance. 


To those who have taken the time to read my words today I appreciate your participation in my journey. Thank you for your time, I hope you have an excellent day. 

4 months ago. Jul 14, 2021, 9:02 AM

Hello Cage friends.


Today is a glorious day. I know its been a while since I have chosen to participate in this community but I am making an attempt at a return. Honestly I needed some time away to try and sort through some of my life. 


This day happens to be the day I was birthed, three decades ago. So today was a day that I made the choice to celebrate myself. I spent the very early moments of my birthday being greeted with song and time with my family. They called me first thing in the morning to make sure I knew I was loved and that I was supported today. 


I wound up watching John Wick 3 Parabellum on Netflix to begin my night, as well as half paying attention while I also played on my phone which happens to have a game boy emulator on it, in which I am replaying old games from my childhood. First up that has my attention is Fire Emblem. Its such a fantastic entertaining game. If you havent ever experienced the joy of playing Fire Emblem then I suggest you take a look. Although there are about 50 versions of the game now. Maybe a few less but it feels like they just keep creating newer versions each year. 


I managed to actually sleep to which I was woken up with a phone call from my parents. It was perfect timing because I had plans and I couldn't sleep my whole day away. So I got up and went about taking care of my house, animals and self. I had to run an errand to renew my license. So I went to the store that we have in town and managed to get a new ID photo taken. Although I nearly broke the record for most attempts on the debit machine. It took 4 times and a reset to accept my payment. I stopped off and grabbed my mail from our post office and went on my merry way. 


When I made it home I had begun preparing for my birthday gift to myself. A round of golf at the course nearby. I had to eat a little breakfast and get my animals ready to say good bye. After I grabbed everything I was out the door and on the road. After the short drive I managed to sneak my way onto the course. Because I hadnt made a tee time and was walking on I was a bit of an anomaly. So the attendant scurried me out the door and even told me to pay after my round because they were busy and she didnt have the time to try and set me up in the system. 


So I made my way onto the tee box and set off on my first round of golf this season. I hadnt had the time or money to golf before today. 


I honestly had the best round of golf in my life. I finished the day shooting 100 which Ive never reached before. I was pretty damn proud of my accomplishment although I had a monumental opportunity at the 18th hole to really save my round. But I always compete with myself when I play a round of golf. Its the front nine vs the back nine. Especially on small courses where you repeat holes 1-9 to play a full 18. One focal point of my game today had been about an "effortless swing". When you watch pros they dont even look like they are trying yet they can contact the ball over 300 sometimes 400 yards. So I wanted to be easy in my swing and make solid contact on the sweet spot of my clubs. 


I definitely had some misses but I managed some beautiful shots as well. On the front nine I managed to par one of the longer holes making a reasonable 10 ft putt to find my fifth stroke. I had a glorious drive and second shot that set me up very well. I have to be careful though and constantly reminded myself that I cant do anything about the last shot. And good or bad, I just needed to focus on making my next shot as best from where it lies. I managed to also par on the front nine a second time but I cant really count it. There was construction on the course as they are trying to build up the creek shore and do some major landscaping to the gully that runs through the course. So they had moved up the tee box past where the construction was happening. It turned the par 4 into a par 3 based on distance. The scorecards didnt get changed and so when I managed to shoot 4 on that hole it appeared as if I managed a par but in truth it truly was a bogey. 


The final hole absolutely screwed my front nine. So far on the day I had managed to keep myself from shooting any 8's. I had tried setting a goal, no 8's and no 3 putts. I failed a few times but thats always my goal. I can have a good round if I manage those two things. On the ninth hole I pulled and miss hit my drive into the water. I had to drop on the side of a steep slope. When I dropped my ball it nearly rolled out of bounds straight away. When I managed to stop it from rolling I wound up a practice swing and approached the ball. I completely wiffed. It went 2 ft in front of me. Now I'm vicious when I count my strokes because if you lie you dont give an accurate accounting of your skill. So that was 3 because of the penalty for playing out of bounds. My fourth shot landed me on the fairway but short 30 yards to the green. Now my short game is my weakest aspect of my golf game and I had been giving the wrong weight all day. I was shorting the greens or running well past. There were very few moments when my low irons really helped me. This was not one of them. I landed all the way past and when I finished my 3 putt I had my first 8 of the day. 


I stopped in at the lodge to pay for my round and I bought myself a can of traditional ale as a small birthday gift. I never buy food or drinks when I go out, at least I try to avoid it when I can. But I was celebrating. So I went back out after my purchase and began the back nine. 


Now the back nine is always more difficult. Because I'm competing with myself I tend to get worked up when I can see how much better or worse I'm doing. When I'm ahead I constantly think "dont do anything to fuck this up" but when I'm behind I'm just angry that I'm not doing as well. Today had its ups and downs. The funny part was I did the math and realized if I could manage to keep pace with myself for the first 8 holes then I could take advantage of my poor performance on the ninth hole and par it would save me 4 strokes and put me at exactly 100. 


So I was chasing being even, and I managed to miss some golden opportunities to make par, but was still playing very well. The tough part was when I reached the first par 5. I had managed to make par here the first time around and yet I completely whiffed my drive. My second shot was decent but put me under a tree which made the next shot difficult. So I was frustrated when I dropped behind myself on the front nine performance. I kept trying to tell myself about making my next best shot. After that unfortunate par 5, I managed to help my situation by saving a tying score of double bogey on a long 20 ft putt. I had resigned myself to being even further behind and barely lined my putt. I just swung and managed to sink in the same number of shots on the first round. That helped spark a better attitude and on the next hole I managed some beautiful shots that earned me an even par on the second par 5 of the course. 


After managing the first 8 holes it turned out I perfectly managed to replicate my score of 44 on 8 holes. All I needed was to par the 18th hole and I would shoot my best round of golf. So I waited on tee box for the group in front of me. When I finally stepped up and swung for real, I managed the absolute best drive of the day. I landed 15 ft from the pin nearly on the green in 1. I had landed just on the fringe and the pin happened to be on the front edge of the green. I had a chance at an eagle. When I lined everything up I missed by an inch to the right. The third shot lipped out of the cup, and the fourth par saving shot went in securing my best round. Now I was happy but there was something about just barely missing eagle to give myself a final scord of 98. The first time to have ever finished with only double digits. I had wanted it so badly. But still theres always next time, and really I cant complain about shooting my best round. Except for the weird intense sun burn and farmers tan that I now have along my forearms and nowhere else. 


Thanks to all those who choose to read my words and those that have wished me well on my birthday. Which is now technically yesterday. I tried finishing this before midnight but I just wasnt quite quick enough. 

6 months ago. May 26, 2021, 12:27 AM

Hello Cage friends,


I've been existing quietly in my own little world of insanity, stress and struggle. Each day it can be a new challenge, or an old one. I have been finding myself in many different headspaces, I've been motivated and lacking complete motivation. It seems there are moments of absolute desire to accomplish all before me, and moments where I just want to hide under a blanket.


There are times when dealing with overwhelming situations that I simply run and hide. I push thoughts of the situation to the back of my mind and do my absolute best to forget. When I choose this, when I make this decision to ignore the tasks, challenges and difficulties of my life I unknowingly put myself in harms way and those around me.


See I think I'm really good at hiding. I think I'm so clever and that by running away I can't let these things hurt me. That's so very far from the situation. I am always affected. It will play with my emotions, causing reactive responses to other absolutely arbitrary situations. It's laughable how immune I think I am. How indestructible I want to be. I eventually come to the realization that stuffing my troubles into the bowels of my subconscious does little to help me, or those around me.


I see the way I overreact to a different conversation that has nothing to do with my situation, but there is something wrong and I'm not addressing it appropriately. It rears its head in different ways and then I am reminded "Oh yeah", I'm dealing with some turmoil. Ignoring that turmoil does no good to me. It becomes about the choices we make. Because we choose our actions. We choose how we handle stress. We choose how to navigate those areas and either we will be able to walk forward knowing we kept our integrity or we slink away feeling defeated and lost.


In each moment, we have the freedom to choose our actions. I am going to work towards choosing actions I am proud of. I am going to choose to not allow bitterness to overwhelm my heart. I am going to do what I need in order to know I've acted with my values and beliefs. That I will hold to my code of ethics. Not everyone will understand the decisions I make, but no one else walks my path. No one can make my choices for me. I hold that power.


I acknowledge that I hide. I acknowledge that I run from certain problems. I'm tired of running and hiding. I need to take decisive action towards the places I must move in order to get my life sorted. I can't hide any longer. I can't run. I won't.


So deep breath, time to roll up the sleeves and get to work on the important trials I have in front of me. It's simple, just do the work.


Now, onto the real reason I decided to post today.


Those in the lifestyle are searching for their way forward. Each of us has our own views and perceptions about what BDSM means to us. It's all very individual, very unique and we all get the chance to walk where we need.


The most important work we can do in the lifestyle is to know ourselves. To be self aware. To understand our needs. The drive we feel. Where we want to go.


So what happens when as a Dominant you recognize the shifting of your needs?


I liken it to a mirage. You see it on the horizon. You can nearly taste what is in front of you, and yet it's nothing but air. You thought you were heading safely home, yet you got spun around and were simply walking in circles.


When you recognize that your needs are different than they were a month, or two, or six ago what do you do?


It can be terrifying. It can end dynamics. I had a conversation with my girl about this space I was walking. About how the needs that I had felt were shifting. The biggest issue is that I had set some mentalities in place which met my needs, yet with all of the struggles I am working through those needs are much less important in this moment. These mentalities that I imprinted do not just disappear. I crafted them carefully, I worked at instilling them in every moment. They are part of the lifeblood of the dynamic that we share. To have my needs shift away from these mentalities means that in order to move forward I either have to navigate this space differently while remaining in the D/s framework or break those mentalities.


To break those mentalities will destroy what was created, and make it near impossible to ever return to the depths of what we have created in this space. That is not what I wish for. The interesting part of our conversation was when my slave told me that "word for word" this conversation was had with her previous Master and immediately after their dynamic ended. Now there were a lot of factors, but a critical shift that can end any dynamic is the changing of needs in either side of the slash.


It immediately had my mind working, how do we move forward? I mean I had known me. I thought I had done the work to become self aware! But still I needed to delve further.


When you begin building a future based upon the needs you've determined you set a future for those involved in the dynamic. When those needs shift that future becomes a mirage. It no longer really exists and becomes a phantom of where you were heading. As your needs shift, as you become aware of what your current needs are the goalposts move. So what can you possibly do when you've set thought processes based solely around the needs you had expressed? Now with a shift in your needs those thought processes no longer mean what they had. They no longer serve the purpose of meeting your needs.


It can quickly become a quagmire that weighs both sides down and results in the dissolution of the dynamic. A necessary part of the process becomes identifying the shift in your needs. Why did this occur? Is it a permanent shift? Take the time to do the soul searching, take the necessary steps to find what it is you are searching for. Then it becomes about communicating this shift. Why it occurred, and it should come with a gameplan. With an idea of what the future may hold, it should come with some idea of how this affects the present and where the path will follow. I must admit I did a shoddy job of formulating a plan. I understood why my needs were shifting, I could communicate it, but I did not have any answers. Fortunately I do not need to destroy the work I've already done, because there is a solution here that upholds the work I've implemented and meets the requirements of my needs.


The first step is to acknowledge the mentality and mindset created in your submissive. Acknowledge their own need associated with the thought process you've created in them. Then it becomes about communicating that while you see their need that you are not in a place where that specific need is required to be filled today. Then it becomes about redirecting the energy into spaces while utilizing a D/s framework to meet the current needs you require. It's about establishing and maintaining the power exchange that is necessary, it's about maintaining the balance by remaining in the framework of D/s. It's about being able to say "Today, you will serve me not in *this* way but I have need of your service in *this* form." I believe that by shifting the energy you can maintain the health of the dynamic and relationship. It still focuses on the submissives need to serve, to be of service while meeting you where you are at.


It can be difficult, it can end dynamics. The change in need can shift the future into a mirage that no longer exists. By acknowledging the mindset you have created though you protect that future, you create a safe space to let your submissive know that while things may shift, her service to you is not negotiable. That her service is required. That she is important. That she is necessary in your life. It's about finding ways to remind her that no matter what her service may look like, that it is still essential.


I hope you find value in my words today, and I thank you for the time and energy you have spent in reading my blog. To those who see this, have an excellent day. 

6 months ago. May 12, 2021, 7:11 AM

Hello Cage friends,


Has it ever been a minute or two. I had some interesting occurences happen in my life and I have become very self centered lately. I have been withdrawn. I have been taking some time to work through who I am and where I desire to go.


I have had a wonderful bit of a vacation. I managed to get organized in my life, being more productive than I've ever been on a daily basis. I have been making steady progress in a number of areas of my life. The true outcome of many of these events are yet undecided and in a sense loom over me. But I believe some progress has been made.


I have also been at a loss, concerned over whether or not what I have to say has any value or weight and I felt lost within my search for what my desires hold and my needs are. I was searching for answers and yet couldn't verbalize what a part of my process is. To simply have a place to be able to vent is also a possibility. But I'm not someone who enjoys or desires to air dirty laundry for all to see. I live as a private person. So it can be hard to open up and share aspects of where my train of thought goes, how I decide to communicate, and choices that I get to make in my life that make sense for me and my needs.


But I have a desire to share a moment that Faith and I were having.


So there were a series of events, leading from evening my time into the morning of when I woke up.


I have been trying to work at creating boundaries for both myself and my girl around certain limits that exist. It's a process of learning how to use the best tool for a particular job. Understanding what is required and when. Why is it required and how much better does it make your likely success?


Its finding out whether a particular tool can do a job better than any other tool around it. What works most effectively? Can I use those tools for purposes that further my work, my desire, my skill.


But I asked myself one day "What helps to create a scene for a dominant?" Where does the imagination spark. Is it a moment when you see an item around you and you could imagine a reason for why it exists in your life and how it might possibly be used. Finding that spark, that flame that can generate an idea and create a future of scenarios all wrapped up inside a box that you get to play with. I mean there is a joy and fun to being able to create ideas of what might just occur during the interaction between Master and slave. Especially when you have the proper space, tools, and proper equipment to play out your fantasies. I mean having the live in part would be nice but there is so much to be gained by starting a dynamic slowly. It takes time to build rapport and gain understanding over someone. Even as you go through the process sometimes an idea you create is not something that makes sense or is feasible to the other person. Perhaps it's something that crosses a hard limit. Or for whatever reason isn't well received. 


There is a hard turn of trying to curb the enthusiasm for something you created and realizing that it's not quite the right fit for the person on the other side of the table. Because part of what we do as people who engage in any form of kink, we need to create communication and negotiate what it is we have created. It needs to be established what is allowed, where it can go. So you have to discuss things. You first have to stand up and admit that you desire to do said thing. 


So in the process of bringing an idea that I had whipped up, Faith and I were discussing over what I had written down. I realized that I touched in a dark part of everything about where I am asking her to go. Part of all of this hinged on a miscommunication though. What I was expressing was missing a critical concept that had not been fully understood. I had extra context because I can see inside my mind and she can't. So when we went to bed because of a miscommunication as much as we could go to sleep, there wasn't the usual depth of true joy that is found in those good nights. 


So we woke up refreshed and with new eyes we had to talk "about the elephant in the room". There was a bit of that pully tangly knotted sense of awkward, and uncomfortable. But we had to sit down, and talk through all of what was missed. Because I hadn't clearly communicated something the night before. We looked together and we found the missing piece of where I hadn't communicated, and where the disconnect occurred. We manage to not only switch the energy by finding a solution, but we didn't give up on something despite the initial interaction. It's led us onto places that will help us go much father together, and it happened because we opened lines of communication and were able to discuss and work through a new concept that was a little surprising.


There can be so many missteps that someone can take. There are lots of ways to go wrong and into territory that borders on harmful, abusive, demeaning behaviour. It is simply a choice of what you will do. How do you plan to create, communicate and experience what you desire? If you find successful ways of communicating what you need and can come up with as scenes, you may find yourself enjoying those fantasies more often.


I thank you for your time in reading my words today as I share part of my journey. I hope this evening finds you well. 

6 months ago. May 7, 2021, 12:15 AM

Hello Cage friends,


So I recently saw a challenge to adjust your voice recording to the noises of Chewbacca. I made a half hearted attempt to recreate the noise and while I can make some interesting sounds using my vocal chords, I haven't really attempted to master Chewy's excellence before.


I have altered my voice recording such that you may have a laugh, or if you're interested you can check out my first rendition from TVS. The first bit of her profile recording is my attempt at Chewy. Of course I had to make my own attempt, and so my own profile has been updated as well.



Hopefully you enjoy listening to the randomness that I can create and that if you do take the time to listen it brings a laugh or a smile to you.