This one is NOT about food

Good Evening, Cage friends. 

There are many times and seasons in life. Today I get to acknowledge a transition in My professional life. 

Ive just completed (today was the final class) of My 8 weeks of training for the relief foreman position I obtained just a little while ago. 

I am celebrating Myself tonight. 

I get to honour My growth and improvement. 

I am also chuckling slightly about how I immediately move into the role and get thrown into the deep end to learn as I move into the position for the next 3 weeks. 

The thing about being a relief foreman is that its not consistent. They will need Me as they need Me. Really I step in when people are sick, on vacation or don't show up for whatever reason. Because of the situation, I get the chance to walk into the role immediately for a few weeks. Then from there who knows really when they will call upon My services. 

Luckily I am feeling a bit better, getting over this sickness that has been lingering for a while now. So I'm going to enjoy the depth of the darkness of My home and create some noise to celebrate who I am and where I'm going. 

Its been a long time coming but I am arriving exactly where I need to be, at the moment I need to get there. 

This is the Year of Accomplishment/Achievement. Just one of the many ways I get to grow and reach new heights of responsibility, new levels of success and new stages to perform on. 

Mstr J

Good day Cage friends, 

I'm not one to jump on challenges often but I wanted to put my hat into the ring today so to speak. 

As Mikayla and I exist long distance W/we often try to find ways to connect the distance between U/us. There is a magic and comfort in having something worn that reminds you of the arms of your person around you, the smell of them and the closeness it can bring. When it comes to My slave I choose 1 of My favourite hoodies and wear it everyday, exercise in it and exist in it as much as possible to infuse as much of Me as possible. Then when its time for her to return to the satellite campus I give it to her as a gift so that she has My arms wrapped around her, My comfort and My snuggles and warmth when she is trying to sleep. 

This is the new hoodie that I have chosen for her gift when she has to leave O/our home the next time. (Plus My face) 

https://imgur.com/KSRiQoa

So I have been working for a very long time on building some strength and one of the ways that I do that is through calisthenics. I have had a goal for 4 years now to try and accomplish mastery of My physical self and I have made definite progress. I'm not yet at the level that I desire to be but I am walking towards those goals I've set for myself.

https://imgur.com/smzCLCl

As Mikayla has made tremendous progress in her journey of improvement and health it is one that I choose to walk beside her. I find it very difficult as a D type to walk in, bark orders and tell her fix herself. 

https://imgur.com/rp9q0Dq

I am the type of man that if I set a task for her to reach then I should have My own goals associated in the same realm that I can walk towards in support of her efforts. (For Myself, it's extremely difficult to sit on the couch eating nachos while ordering My slave to exercise. In My mind it sends the wrong message and could disable her motivation and effort when I am not matching her dedication) 

https://imgur.com/jlbZSvX

So this is a small snapshot of My journey and some of the daily effort that I put towards developing Myself and where I wish to walk inside of My health. 

I'm not perfect and plenty of times I eat way too much, too often, and with all the wrong and unhealthy items. 

So I am making an effort to improve My strength, My mobility, My flexibility. 

Part of why I am working so hard in this area is not only as a support for Mikayla. To model to her good habits and routines (Plus she found the most amazing stretching routine that W/we enjoy participating next to each other as best W/we can each day, it allows U/us to be healthy and work towards similar goals within O/our own skill sets and spend time together in meaningful ways) It also allows Me the chance to build the strength I desire for My other hobby: golfing. 

https://imgur.com/a5LB0gg

This has been a passion of Mine since I was an adolescent kid. Although I never had much opportunity to pursue these dreams and goals inside this hobby. Its only been within the last 2 years that I have been able to seriously dedicate My effort and energy to improving inside of My golf game. 

https://imgur.com/on2zL2k

I have improved much over the last 2 to 4 years. I have seen much growth and radical transformation. I actually had a ton of fun working with Mikayla to be able to bring this blog to E/everyone here in the community and I am grateful to Iambsone for this challenge. **Note: I may have made a mistake, apparently the first person to start this challenge was SweetSirRendering. I do apologize for not being clear but I am grateful to participate. Thank you for the challenge. 

Mstr J

Good evening Cage friends, 

I had intended to write this yesterday but unfortunately I was too busy with work which meant it was delayed by 1 day. 

Today it hits differently. 

I just walked back into My home and I am without My slave here. Mikayla is currently on her flight back to the satellite campus with 6 hours until she lands on the first leg of her journey back. 

Walking into My empty home with the remnants of O/our time together can be challenging. There are dishes left over (as per My request), the placemats and utensils left on the table. There is still the scent of the delicious food W/we cooked permeating the space. I can feel her here and yet it's also very empty. 

I know she will return home for the summer but that feels like a long way off at *this* second. 

While I can compartmentalize there is still a "numbness" going throughout My entire body. Even parts of My attitude are feeling low and it was a struggle to go to work and try to be present. Although Mikayla did encourage Me to show up as best I could and that the folks inside My training course didn't deserve less than what I could bring. 

There was an excellent opportunity during class where I had the chance to talk about anything, and the people in My group had to actively listen without word responses. I talked about Mikayla going home and because the people weren't allowed to use words to respond I got 2 minutes to express about O/our trip. Of course with where I was at emotionally I was focused on "the leaving" of My slave. When I reached the last 10 seconds of My 2 minute dialogue I was able to voice out loud the difficulty of her leaving, and I had to close My eyes and just felt her removal. It brought tears to My eyes and I just gave Myself permission to feel the weight of that moment and feel the loss of her. 

It can be very powerful when you voice the words and express emotion. There is a different level when you realize something and then express it. It made her leaving "real" to Me. I had kept My composure through most of the final moments of saying goodbye but when I spoke out loud that she had gone it hit Me differently. 

Now this is all very relevant because it's what I am experiencing today but since I had intended to write this blog yesterday none of what has been said was apart of the original concept for My writing today. 

What I had wanted to do was pose a question. 

Have Y/you ever experienced a moment where the words said were meant for a specific moment and thus lost to time after they had been spoken? 

On the second last night Mikayla and I had a remarkably powerful moment together. W/we have determined to call it "Lemuring". I knew she was struggling with her imminent departure and I had wanted to speak peace to her soul. 

The idea sparked from the thought process "What is the most valuable use of My time *right now*?"

I decided to wrap Myself around her while W/we cuddled on the couch. I put some soft music on and began to whisper into her ear. 

The insane part is that as soon as I was finished speaking I couldn't recall anything that I had said. I knew I had spoken truth and words of deep importance but I could not remember them for the life of Me. They have been lost to time and yet they weren't meant for any other moment than that one. 

But I was perplexed and asked Mikayla about what she remembered. This is what she told Me immediately after O/our "Lemuring". 

"I spoke peace to My slaves soul. I acknowledged committment and connection. I expressed intention. I gave direction and purpose."

W/we continued to discuss back and forth about the merits of words, and how I couldn't find those words. W/we talked about knowing someone in their totality. How when W/we found each other and walked towards each other while there may be difficulty there is nothing but ease in traversing the obstacles and tribulations. 

There have been many profound moments on this trip. This was one of them. 

The next blog will go over some of the activities W/we got up to on O/our trip together. Also an insight into why W/we called it "Lemuring". There is still plenty to share about O/our latest journey together, but for now I am going to withdraw and exist inside My space with movement and music. 

To those that read My words today I thank you. Have a blessed night. 

Mstr J

Good day Cage friends, 

If you have had a chance to look through and read My slave Mikayla's most recent blog she wrote about words I have expressed which brought peace to her soul. She was speaking about the words of affirmation she recorded in order to hear well the external validation she received. 

Over time I have done work to heal this need in her life. The funny part is that I didn't do "anything special." In fact Mikayla and I recently had a conversation which spoke about this phenomenon. But I will touch on this just a little later in this post. 

For now I wanted My focus to be on her statement #2. 

In her last blog she wrote about her anxiety over her feeling inadequate, that I was out of her league and that she held fear over My choosing her. Really the common idea that many of U/us feel about not being "enough". Something that I have struggled with My entire life. 

When W/we had spoken she had asked Me "What if someone asks you why you are with me?" 

I never spoke directly to her the words I had chosen but I wish to share them now. 

My answer to the question "why her?" is this:

"If all you do is look at the surface of who she is and make a judgement based upon that, then you are missing everything. The depth of who she is cannot be measured by her outward appearance alone."

The thing about Mikayla is that her spirit and energy is some of the most loving, caring, supportive and to Me she is perfection. W/we were just discussing about O/our long distance dynamic and how to explain how to "do long distance dynamics". 

The issue that W/we both run into is that for U/us it's not anything W/we do. It just is. Like breathing. If you attempt to try and explain how to breathe its really quite challenging. Its just apart of who W/we are. The ways I show up just speak to Mikayla. The ways she operates and exists speak to My soul. There isn't anything that needs to be *done* because it just matches. 

For instance. I had written a list of the ways I had failed in My previous marriage. As I went through the list, Mikayla told Me how much each of the ways I had "failed" previously were absolute needs and wants and desires FOR HER. It was like her soul was saying "pick me, pick me!" As she metaphorically raised her hand to each point of My failure. 

The point being is this: when you meet the right person things will just align. The right circumstances and the right opportunities just flow together seamlessly.

Part of that process started with Me though. I had so much to sort out and improve when My marriage ended. I wasn't ready to receive love because I didn't love Myself. I didn't appreciate Myself. I hadn't sorted My finances, My home, My life. I had so much work to do. Part of putting Myself together allowed Me to be in the right space at the right time to receive what Mikayla had to offer. 

I know it can feel daunting, and sometimes it's absolutely defeating when you meet new people and they aren't right for you. But the crazy part is that it only takes one person to be the right fit in your life and when you find it..... It can blow you away in the most astounding ways. 

I pray to those that are struggling that you don't lose faith, patience or the ability to continue on. You never know when the right person is a single moment away from changing your life forever. 

To those that read My words, I thank you. I hope part of My journey may inspire your determination to not relent and continue the search, that you may receive the exact right person that matches every need, want and desire for your values.

Mstr J

Good day Cage friends, 

Mikayla is in the air on her last leg of the journey. Her flight was delayed slightly but she is boarded and rounding the final bend before making it home. 

I am watching over her progress through FlightAware while sitting in the airport awaiting her arrival. 

Its an exciting moment, the anticipation of intimacy and internet hugs made real. W/we are both looking forward to the moments W/we get to reconnect and deepen O/our bond. 

It had been a hectic day at work and this week which meant I wasn't able to prepare as thoroughly as I would have liked to. But I did the best I could in the areas that held the highest priority to me. Plus my somewhat forgetful brain that left out a few of those necessary items I had wanted to stock up on prior to her arrival. It just means W/we get the chance to do some shopping and enjoy holding hands while wandering the isles of Costco. 

It won't be long now, these next 13 days are going to be wonderful. A much needed break from the distance and separation. Time to connect and fully enjoy each other's company.

After a quick trip to Costco, its off to meet with My parents for dinner! 

I hope E/everyone has a magnificent weekend. 

Mstr J

Good Evening Cage friends,

It has been quite some time since I have last written a blog. Today I wanted to share a portion of My life as well as an understanding that I reached recently while engaging in conversation with My slave Mikayla. 

Now first some small updates. 

At this time next week (less than 7 days) I will be driving Mikayla home from the airport. I know W/we are both anticipating these short 13 days together. There will need to be a blend of how W/we spend O/our time but I have orchestrated a few plans already. The first will be a tour and tasting of a distillery that caught O/our fancy alongside some friends. W/we have date night plans to go risk it big at the Casino (yeah, not quite that big) and to experience winter together. Its the much needed halfway point to surviving the year while managing a long distance dynamic. 

Next, would probably be the promotion I had interviewed for. I was found successful and have been in training for the last 2 weeks. I have just finished the second week and am beginning My weekend. It has been going exceptionally well and I have found a lot of growth inside the classroom and with the shadowing I'm doing. This change has altered My schedule so I work different days while finishing My 8 week training program. There have been really interesting modules on communication, writing for business, documentation and note taking, as well as a few other topics. The group of 9 other people in this training program are quite exceptional and Mikayla keeps telling Me "I have found My people".

I have enjoyed these weeks and have already impacted the work environment in positive ways with comments from different friends and co-workers. "You woke us up, and as soon as the supervisor began talking *he slumped down* back to sleep" "You did a great job" "You have a talent for presenting" along with some fist bumps, thumbs up, handshakes and the chance to meet new people. There are 2 days that I shadow and because My work has 2 sets of shifts (red and blue) they transition over from Wednesday to Thursday. The other Forman in training that is working with Me (but learning in a different department) had trouble with her vehicle and wasn't able to get into work. This week at work there was an Operational Meeting which states goals and areas to be aware and changes to practices and process for the entirety of our department. On Wednesday I asked My mentor if there was anything that needed to happen for the meeting. He told me "No". Turns out the foreman leads the safety discussion during these meetings. Needless to say as soon as blue shift got to the safety part of the meeting they tossed me in front of 25 to 30 people from all areas of our department. So on the spot I got to introduce myself and run through the 2 safety topics. Because the other person doing the foreman training was away I also got the chance to go over the safety topic today with red shift. So another 25 to 30 people that I was able to introduce myself to and lead a second discussion on the 2 safety topics. 

It was interesting to find that the surprise of having to lead the safety discussion actually allowed Me to remain calm, as I slept from Wednesday into Thursday I thought/contemplated/dreamt and then sat in the meeting knowing I was going to lead the safety meeting and "What was I going to do? What would I say? How would I???..." I just did part of a breathing practice while sitting stretching and readying Myself to lead My part of the meeting. The second day I was nervous, so I spoke more quickly and it was a challenge to slow down and take pauses. Whereas on the first day I found a natural tempo and flow which I felt was superior. I may have to ask the few people in the room that saw both of My presentations to ask them their opinions on the differences between both days. I improved some of the supporting material for the second day relating to the topics, and did manage a solid presentation but I feel like I may have done better in the first presentation. Sometimes a little outside perspective can be illuminating. 

There was also the conversation with My slave Mikayla when I got home after the weird Tuesday I had. I had taken My vehicle in for an oil change and found out that My front brakes had metal slice out which meant I needed to repair the rotors and pads and I needed a new battery. Considering the cold and distance I need to travel I spend a lot of kilometers driving on winter highways and roadways, so having a reliable vehicle is essential. I needed to get all the little things taken care of which also meant I had to drop off My vehicle for the day. So I needed a lift into work and luckily My dad was able to pick me up and chauffeur Me back and forth to the mechanics. The bill was exactly what I had anticipated and it just means the progress I had intended to make towards My debt needed to shift to accomodate the charge for the repairs. 

As I navigated the roads home I was able to have My slave greet Me upon My arrival. W/we recounted the day and I was able to share all of the experiences from that Tuesday. I had a moment where I got to apologize to someone for a rude joke I had made, and later on a dialogue with another person that I respected for his actions. They wound up both having a conversation with Me later on that day and as I shared My thoughts they both gave Me some of the greatest external validation I had been searching for. As I shared My day and parts of the dialogue during this conversation, Mikayla with her brilliant mind was able to point out some areas of healing I need to work on. 

It began a conversation that reached the words "My failsafe is self sabotage". 

This is going to take some context. 

I have been wanting to write a blog based upon a topic shared by just a small group here a few weeks back. I don't know if it was ever an official challenge on the site and it didn't gain much traction in participation. It was about the concept of "this is the worst part of me". I had been ruminating on the topic for a long time, and had come to a few conclusions. 

(Part of the conversation with Mikayla after work was about re-examining My memories/childhood and finding where My need for external validation stems from.) 

In the previous weeks I had incidentally been considering My childhood. My relationship with My brother. How I had felt as a younger kid from 7 until I hit My middle/late teens. That was because I was a examining where I struggled and where I had the most room to grow. I wanted to understand the relationship I created with My brother and how to work at improving it now. This is a topic for another day but I just wanted to establish some context for the purpose of creating understanding with the conversation with Mikayla. 

At the start of the conversation W/we examined the feelings that had been brought up. Also the way that the interaction with My father had shifted the positivity of where I stood. It has been a longstanding issue and one that I need to take time to look over and evaluate. This is a part of where I need to examine, in order to get to the root of where My need for external validation comes from. As Mikayla was listening to Me, she pointed out "your need for greatness in the future is preventing you from being enough right now" I need to "learn to love your imperfect self right now". 

My desire is to build the future. I want to improve day by day and reach new heights of excellence. I don't desire to be perfect as I did as a kid, I desire to become excellent. I wont ever reach perfection but I will reach excellence. I have been so concerned over getting to My future. Being in the future. Getting to the point where I'm free of debt. To the point where I reach the conclusion of My responsibility to My ex-wife. To the point where My slave lives with Me. To when O/our daughter can experience a new life she has never seen before. To travel the world. To experience new foods. To expand My household. 

Part of looking towards the future, the potential and what could be was also restricting Myself from truly experiencing the now. Appreciating what I have now. Where I am at. Where My slave is at. There is such a thing as looking too far forward. 

Mikayla shared the insight "If you learn to become content (find contentment) in what you have, what comes after will be abundance". If you have all you need then anything that adds to that truly is more than you need. That is abundance. 

Now to bring it full circle. 

Part of the dialogue I had earlier with the co-workers in the training program was about building My self confidence. That was something I greatly lacked as a small child. I did not believe in My capability. Their comments were about "how they could see Me surpass the current level of foreman" and that "by this time next year it wouldn't surprise me if you were a supervisor". It was shocking. Later that night part of what I realized was that "My lack of faith in My ability (low self esteem) hampered all I tried to accomplish." 

I constantly created situations as a kid where I would lose on purpose. I believed that if I didn't try then I never truly lost. If I give up then how could you possibly known if you had won a game? I played against My brother on this Star Wars game on the xbox, and we would fight one on one. I beat him one time and then I "let him win" so that he never beat me while I played My best. Part of why that terrified Me was because "If I give all of My heart and soul into something (put the most effort I can muster) and I lose that is the worst defeat I could imagine" It would shatter My soul. 

So I decided to never try. There would always be a reason I "failed". It wasnt because I wasn't capable or good enough. It was because I gave up and never tried in the first place. 

I have played all sorts of sports through school from team sports to individual sports. When you exist as part of a team and you happen to be the reason the entire team fails because you weren't good enough to do your job it can be excruiating. Mentally and emotionally demoralizing. Getting pulled out a game because you are doing more harm than good feels terrible. Letting down your teammates, failing your coach. It weighs on you. It can become a burden that restricts how you move. 

Part of learning how to love your imperfect self is challenging. Desiring to be more than you are is reasonable, so long as you don't exist solely for the purpose of the future. It takes a balance of focusing right now while looking to the future, instead of focusing on the future while looking at the present. Life was meant to be enjoyed and experienced. Feel right now the good things that can be felt. Appreciate what you have. Move forward with confidence. 

This is the Year of Accomplishment and Achievement. 

To those that read My words today, I thank you. I hope you take something from My experience and are able to move along your own journey in the ways that are right for you. 

Mstr J

Good Evening Cage friends, 

You know there can be so much that goes on in a year. This season has been so very interesting and it is about to take a turn in 2024. 

Inside of the last 72 hours I have received such news from different sources of friends, family and strangers. It has been such a remarkable turn of events. 

This coming year is going to be filled with so much positivity. There are so many good things that are going to occur this coming year unlike I have ever received or known before. 

I applied for a foreman position and earlier today I received a phone call from my friend who I had put on my reference sheet. He was calling to let me know he had just finished speaking with the supervisor who had interviewed me and that all flows of conversation were massively positive. I could have done a better job of representing myself in the interview, there were plenty of times where I felt I had used a poor example and immediately thought of 4 better scenarios to illustrate my point instead. But all in all I was very happy with how I represented myself and the ways that I showed up inside of myself authentically and as the best version of me that day. 

Funnily enough on that day of work after my interview it was one of the toughest days I have worked in a while. But I managed to get through to the best of my ability and I sit here now on my weekend enjoying my time. 

I had also arranged a chance to play at an indoor golf simulator and went with some of my friends, it turned out to be the weirdest series of phone calls I had received. 

My father called to inform me that my sister's long term health concern had reared its head and that she needs to get scheduled for emergency surgery. 

I then got a random call from "Amazon" trying to inform me about my iPhone 13 purchase to which I immediately hung up. 

I got a random phone call from someone who was breaking up and I could not hear them at all. So I said "Im not interested in whatever you're selling, have a nice day" and hung up. Which sparked a brief dialogue among my friends about how politely I shut that salesperson down. 

Within another 5 to 10 minutes I got another phone call from someone asking if my house was still for rent and after a brief conversation and exchange of information I have a time set for when they are going to take a tour of the property to see if they are interested in staying here. But I also realized that the random "salesperson" hadn't actually been a random salesperson and I felt I had been a touch rude in my dismissal of them. 

The most interesting part of all these series of events is that each one is a testing ground to expand my situation, skill, ability, capability and develop the future. I have an abundant number of opportunities opening right in front of me and all I need to do is walk into the future. 

There is a shift here that is going to alter the course of my trajectory for the rest of my life. This year of 2024 is going to be such a place of Transformation in my life. There will be exponential growth in positive ways in all areas of my life.

It starts with one moment, one decision. The choice we have right now. 

I had stopped in at a friend's house on my way home. He asked me what my weekend entailed. I didn't tell him anything because I don't have transparent conversation with him I have honest conversation with him. I gave him the most watered down and flat answer, that was the most basic I could make it. 

I didn't share any of the meditation and spiritual ritual that I am developing for myself. I didn't share about my choice of exercise and meditation, my golf swing practice and how I would spend time with Mikayla. There is so much of who I am that I don't fully share with those around me. But I am learning to establish my own boundaries and work at creating what I need to thrive. The ways I communicate and the level I communicate I try to match the wavelengths of what someone offers. 

I have to learn to give just as much is offered so that I save my energy for those that give of themselves. I need to recognize my worth and I am beginning to, such that it is truly reserved for those that hold a special place in my life and household. The family and friends that have earned a place in my heart that I choose to hold close to me. 

 I just felt like sharing some of what has happened in my life in the last few days. I really am excited about what the future holds and I cant wait to see what is right around the corner. 

I hope part of my journey can be inspiring to those that take the time to read my words today. I thank you. 

Mstr J

Good morning Cage friends,

There is something to be said about the manner and way you hold yourself accountable as a Dominant. Many times over You will be watched by s types as they look for the measure of sincerity You express, the dedication and work You put in. 

Actions do speak louder than words and when You yourself are not in alignment with Your words then at some point You will deviate from what you have said. It is only natural. As Dominants if there is a situation where You must traverse a space where You have been dishonest with Yourself(and perhaps the s type You are courting/speaking with/interacting around) then there will be a small misalignment between Your actions and words. 

Part of it may be that You really wish to be in alignment with the words You've chosen, but You just arent there yet. That is why taking the time to invest in knowing Yourself, learning where You stand and where You direct Your Will is so essential. It is about knowing Yourself, doing the work for Yourself, and being consistent enough that despite the pressure and turmoil that life presents You remain anchored and steadfast focused on the direction You wish to go. 

As a younger man inside of past relationships I did not have a clear vision for who I was. 

I so badly wanted to have that, to be that, to show what I was capable of, but because I wasn't self aware, because I wasn't asking much of Myself, because I was pushed and pulled by life I did not have Mastery over Myself. My words and actions did not wholly align and plenty of times I saw Myself take missteps and do damage to Myself and those around Me. It was not My intention. I truly said the right words and I deeply believed them, yet I hadn't done the work in Myself to properly act on them. 

Even now I still need to be vigilant to self assess and ensure I am in alignment with who I was made to be. 

Just recently Mikayla had to approach Me. W/we were having a lovely day and yet I had made a comment that wasn't in alignment with something I had previously stated not 24 hours earlier. She came to Me and said "Master, I need to share with You something that is bothering me." 99% of the time I am very intentional with My word choice, I try to say what I mean and mean what I say. 

I had just recently given Mikayla a reward, I had noticed the hard work she had been putting in and I had a strong desire to facilitate her success such that it grew more than she realized. Then in My haste I spoke the words "So I don't *have* to....." 

That hurt her. That shook her a little bit. That was not in alignment with what I had just recently shared. She was a tad bit confused and had to come to Me in kneel and express that she was concerned. She needed to know the truth and the heart of the matter to ensure she was on the same page as I was, such that she did not hold the wrong expectations based on a miscommunication. 

So she directed My attention back to those words, "So I don't have to". I took the time to listen to her concern and had to sit with Myself and evaluate the sincerity with which I had spoken those words. Had I said something in haste? Or was I at a position where I desired to be there yet wasn't ready Myself? W/we discussed and followed through the conversation and did the self reflection required to find out where I stood. I was able to clearly express where I stood, why I had wanted those things for her, and bring U/us back into alignment over those 5 words that had caused her concern. 

My point is this. During O/our walk as the D type and leader I set the path W/we are on as one. The thing is clearly communicating O/our heading and ensuring that My household has the proper understanding and perspective to hold to the bearing I have set is vital. 

Imagine walking hand in hand. If I have set My direction as true north at 0 degrees (or 360) if My slave has a heading at 1 degree or 359 degrees as W/we walk forward initially it may not make much of a difference. 5 steps, 10 steps, maybe even 25 steps nothing will inherently "show up". But if you continue walking forward and your D type doesn't realize They have set your bearing incorrectly after 100 or 1000 steps Y/you will begin to notice the strain of holding hands until Y/you can no longer hold on. 

If You don't course correct eventually over time You will lose Your grasp and have them slip from Your fingertips. But here's the kicker. First ensure You are in alignment with Yourself. Take away the partner You desire and walk with Yourself. If You aren't in alignment with the direction and course You are heading You will walk Yourself straight into trouble. You will encounter a moment where You say something (and perhaps deeply believe it to be true) yet if You haven't done the work to establish Your Will and know Yourself You will end walk "walking away" from where You had intended to go unknowingly. 

So I encourage You to do the work today to find Your own alignment, to find Your Will. To know Yourself and become an icon that shows the determination and wisdom to walk in alignment with Your own needs. To know exactly what You want, where You are going and then in turn how to properly direct Your s type on the path You have selected. 

Walk in alignment. Come walk together. Set the pace, the direction and ensure You are followed well because You lead well. 

To those that read My words today I thank you, I pray Y/you find guidance and walk in confidence knowing the direction You have set. 

Mstr J

Good brand new morning Cage friends, 

When I was a kid I was quite an odd child. I was active, athletic but also a true nerd and geek. There were some areas that I explored that might make your head turn and cock an eyebrow at. 

In junior high I had a very busy schedule. Oftentimes I had band practice in the morning before class (yeah I'm talking orchestra playing trumpet type band class - not the cool I'm in a band type badass rocker) especially as the concerts we performed for spring and fall and winter/new year came around. I would go to volleyball practice (or badminton, or track and field or *insert seasonal sport here* practice) after school and during the lunch period is when I had my debate, diplomacy, chemistry club meetups. At one point I had a different club activity every lunch from Monday to Friday and practice and rehearsal before and after school. It was a bit hectic. But each event had its time and place and it kept me busy and out of trouble. 

Now if Y/you happen to read Mikayla's blog Y/you will often hear her talk about "learned truths". The general concept is experience will inform U/us with knowledge that shapes O/our future experience for better or worse. Most times learned truths aren't actually true but a circumstance that "proves" a point. Usually more often to the detriment of future experiences. 

Just recently I was spending time on My back deck ruminating on past experiences and I had a line of thinking I wanted to share about a personal experience that formed part of My youth. I realized that I had taught Myself a learned truth based on events that were destructive and harmful to My younger self and I struggled for a long time to overcome this obstacle. 

*Names have been changed to protect identities as I am unable to gain consent since I don't communicate with those from My junior high*

When I was in junior high I has joined the debate club and we practiced during lunch, learning rules and structure for debate. How to rebuttal and prepare for the pros and cons of each argument because you didnt know which position you might have to argue. Now I had an absolute favourite teacher that was one of the two in charge of debate, Mr. Wylie. He was phenomenal. He challenged us to think outside the box and gave us room to be silly and yet still helped guide us to be thoughtful and thorough. 

Eventually after learning the basics and getting to practice during lunches we grasped the concepts and got to put our skills to the test in a debate tournament that would host all of the kids in the club. The teams were formed with 2 kids each and I got partnered up with Mathew. The date was set and we prepared for the first round. We walked through the first round and crushed our opponents. As we battled our way through Matt and I continued to do well and wound up facing off in the final round. We won and claimed the title Master Debaters (yeah silly kids and their juvenile jokes but we all laughed really hard) and as tournament champions had the opportunity to face off against the two teachers who ran the debate club. 

So the topic was set: Superman vs Wonder Woman. Matt and I were selected to defend Wonder Woman and prove that she was superior to Superman. We were given time to prepare our defense and tried our best to come up with all the arguments that we needed in order to trounce the teachers and win the ultimate victory. 

Now the day finally rolled around and we had done what we could. We gathered in the library with parents, teachers, students and I mean it was junior high debate... The turnout wasn't huge but there was a crowd and we got into it. 

All things were going reasonably well until I was finishing off part of our teams argument. It was time for the teachers rebuttal and that was my undoing. Mr. Wylie looked over at me and hit me with a remark that I left me dumbfounded. He thought about the scenario and approached it from an angle that never occured to my underdeveloped brain. He took away the superpowers and looked at it from the human perspective of man vs woman. The clever little idea that I never considered. It was the idea that a woman's hair would take too long to dry after a shower, and that superman never encountered that problem. What could wonder woman do while waiting for her hair to dry? Now I don't remember the manner in which Mr. Wylie framed the remarks. His exact wording has been lost to time, but what I do remember is this. 

I absolutely froze. 

I was dumbstruck, dumbfounded and like a fish out of water. 

Have Y/you ever been in a public setting and had Y/your brain cease functioning? I literally did not have a single remark or come back. I had never considered this type of an attack against my argument and in that moment I was empty. 

The immense shame, embarrassment and frustration I felt of being duped and literally incapable of forming any coherent response burned inside my brain. The worst part was I was trapped there. The group of friends, relatives, and strangers in front of me were watching for my response and I had none. I could feel my face blazing as the heat of embarrassment rose to my cheeks. In that moment I was trapped in front of this crowd, I had to respond but I had no words and still my brain could not process what had happened. I felt like every wheel and cog was turning but nothing was coming out. In that moment I suffered complete defeat. I lost the debate for my team. I still had to stand there and form a response. I don't remember what I responded with but it didn't matter. In that moment there wasn't anything I could do and I completely shut down. 

Mr. Wylie had waited to the last moment. He knew it was devastating for my argument and it was his ace in the hole. His trump card. It worked seamlessly. I know he had not intended to embarrass me, I know he wasn't trying to hurt my self esteem and as we shook hands he acknowledged that he was sorry to do that to me. 

The thing was that experience "taught" me that when I was under pressure and attacked that I would freeze. That I was incapable of fighting back. My young brain internalized the learned truth that under pressure I would crack and fold. That when push came to shove I would crumple and fall down. This experience ingrained in me that "I was a failure", that "I could not handle pressure", that "I cant trust my brain to function" and it destroyed any confidence I had in myself.

Now I already struggled with failing to reach My own expectation of perfection. Even though I appeared confident I was a nervous wreck internally and I struggled with My self confidence and self esteem. This just played deeply into those doubts and fears. It compounded "what I knew to be the truth" about who I was as a person. 

If Y/you have read any of My much older blogs from years ago Y/you would know that I struggled with My internal voice that used to scream obscenities at Myself. This was one such experience in My young life that formed some of those patterns of self hatred and self depreciation. I already thought of Myself as lowly, cowardly, incapable, useless. This just proved what I knew about Myself. This just emphasized how much I was right to think so lowly of My skill because I had none. I would crack. I would cave. I would choke. 

The thing is I also learned to fear being embarrassed. I hated that helpless feeling. But I didn't take to heart learning how to navigate being embarrassed. O/our emotions can get the best of U/us but they don't make U/us who W/we are. Emotions don't define U/us. Yes they exist within and can shape part of O/our responses to situations but they don't control or make U/us. I can't stop Myself from feeling embarrassed when I make a fool of Myself publicly, but I am now capable of recognizing that My embarrassment is just the response to the situation. It is part of My expression. Learning how to accept the embarrassment and not tie it to My worth as a human or My value as an individual means I can exist freely and without fear. Now I acknowledge I have shifted My perspectives and moved the needle in positive ways for My existence but that doesn't mean I wont still stumble when I encounter My next embarrassing moment. I may yet still struggle in navigating this raw emotion that holds a lot of weight in My life. It isn't a fix, but its just the beginning of learning how to be a better version of Myself. I'm going to stumble. I'm going to fall. I'm going to navigate successfully and spectacularly fumble while moving in spaces of handling My emotions. But I don't hold the weight of making mistakes, making a fool, being dumbfounded so long as I learn from what I have done and take those lessons and work at improving. 

I am human. I am a mess. I am imperfect. 

But I also strive for excellence in every area of My life. If I can take a lesson and grow and improve from it and become a better man for My own well being and those around Me then that lesson was worth the emotions tied to it. I can let go of the embarrassment and allow it to simply teach and hone what I am capable of. 

I am not a failure. I am a work in progress. I am not My emotions, and I will be better today for My future and the future of My household. I will not let fear control or slow My improvement and My ability to grow and develop into the best version of who I was made to be. I am stronger than I believe and more capable than I know. I will have faith in who I am and courage to continue moving forward. 

To those who read My words today I thank Y/you. I hope that Y/you may take something from My experience that assists Y/you on the journey Y/you walk, that Y/you find strength, courage and healing today. 

Mstr J

Good early morning Cage friends, 

It is a tremendous day. I wanted to share a few updates (speaking of updates I need to revisit My profile and do some manhandling) about life and where I'm at, as well as extrapolate on the concept of My most recent blog. 

Today in just a few hours I begin My weekend/vacation. It will be less than 3 hours by the time I'm done writing this and actually manage to post My blog. I am going home to spend some well deserved time with My slave and work on taking care of a few things around My home. I still can't acknowledge My slave left at the beginning of September and as such I have struggled with washing My dishes. But as time turns and now I am approaching the halfway point to when Mikayla returns home (end of January for 13 days) I need to get My head out of My ass and start caring well for My property on My own. 

I also intend to have a very small fire now that the snow has melted for a short time, in which I will be burning the figurative chains of debt that I have managed to pay off. My parents created a chain link out of paper with each link representing 100 dollars and as I pay off My debt to them I dismantle the chain making it shorter and shorter. I will then make a fire and perform a ritual of releasing the debt from ever burdening Me again in My life. I am quite excited to achieve the financial freedom I once had in My youth and truly begin to prepare My household and life I choose to live with travel, golf and other fun ways I will be able to spend My money. 

Cap off the night with some Thursday night football (and watch My fantasy team get CRUSHED for another week.... Currently 11/12 with a record of 3-6) and perhaps a small sip of My new favourite rum that Mikayla and I found. 

Friday I have plans with some friends to go golfing and the evening could open up with a couple of different opportunities. The taboo sex show is coming to town which can be quite fun and informative although I won't know what I will actually do Friday night until it's here. Chances are I may just squirrel away back home although that would be a waste of fuel as Saturday I am taking a road trip with My mom to visit My sister. So I would need to come right back into town. 

After the weekend visiting with My sister I get to be productive inside My home by setting up some cabinets with My dad in the garage. Right now I have to squeeze past My vehicle/cabinets everytime I come home, so organizing and sorting the garage space will be very useful. It will become much more usable which is nice and I won't have to pretend to be an acrobat just to walk in the door after work. 

Then sometime during that week I have My interview at work for the relief foreman position that I applied for. Not sure what day that is happening but I am excited for the opportunity. There is a lot going on and it will be a busy few days but well worth the effort and I am excited for each moment. 

Also, here are some valuable numbers without context: 

9740. 02/04. 771. 12. 192. 

Now I wanted to take a moment to speak a little about the concept of seasons change. I would ask that Y/you listen to the intention of My words and not the exact written word. I acknowledge that I may not explain everything as adequately as I want. 

Mikayla and I have finally been able to purchase her ticket home at the end of January (the best part of that was W/we were able to pay cash for her flight home - I will give her the opportunity to speak on this in more depth if she wishes to but suffice to say God has opened the doors when there was no other way and all things conspired to make life "out" for her more difficult) and W/we will get 13 days together. Another serendipitous moment is that her coming home will result in U/us being able to celebrate O/our 3rd year anniversary together at the beginning of February. 

The insane part is that W/we have been talking for almost 4 years and are coming up on O/our 3rd anniversary of being in a committed dynamic together. 

As time moves the season's and stages of O/our dynamic has shifted alongside it. Where W/we started is radically different from where W/we are right now. You can see the evidence of this in the ways that W/we have each individually healed and worked out struggles and past trauma from previous relationships. One example of this is the fact Mikayla can sleep. In previous dynamics she was "always on call" and time was an essential need for her. So when her Doms would come calling if she didn't respond then she missed the essential time together. But when you add a time difference of *end of day* is the middle of her night that meant she needed to remain half awake so that her phone buzzing would wake her up. 

I have worked damn hard to give her time. It is a need for both of U/us and it is essential when developing a dynamic together. Getting time, making time and following through on My promise to "see her everyday" meant that over time I began to heal the deep wounds on her soul. At the beginning of time together I would need to give her permission to sleep. I created a ritual phrase for putting her to bed which released her from "being on call". I gave her space to let her know I would watch over her on a video call but I was handling My own life and I would give her a clear time of *wake up at this time*. I gave her structure and form. Then I showed up every single day consistently. After a while she was able to let go of being on duty and no longer needed the ritual phrase to be put to sleep. It took a lot of patience and understanding but it just naturally occured that her heart learned to trust in Me and she found her ability to sleep knowing if I needed her time I would give her explicit guidelines and structure for what that looked like. 

Now fast forward a few years. I want to share Mikayla's latest return back to My satellite campus in September. She left home and as she made her way back to *life* she had plenty of tasks to get ready for work and school. O/our daughter also was starting grade 3 this year which has meant a lot more homework and has required more time for Mom to oversee helping with said homework. 

I was also reveling in the final moments of green grass and the dwindling time I had left to continue golfing. As Mikayla left O/our home I began to take My time on the weekends to get out and enjoy My time on different courses around My home. I was playing golf 4 or 5 times a week, getting out as much as I could with the few remaining weeks left. 

All of this stacked up to the point where W/we did not have much time together. Plenty of days W/we would pop into a video call and wave at each other and then have to scamper off to accomplish the tasks W/we needed and wanted to do. The thing was though just because O/our time was filled with managing life, handling work responsibility, handling parenting, handling house and time with friends on both sides of the world W/we had never had less time together. But there was no negativity inside of being apart. W/we were both focused on the right priorities. 

W/we have established a stable and strong foundation for O/our dynamic. Now as time moves forward W/we are able to recognize the strength of O/our bond. There is a subtle shifting in the essence of O/our dynamic and it is turning from the honeymoon stage into life long committed dynamic. Now I want to share a definition that both Mikayla and I strongly believe. "Excitement" is the anticipation of change. When something is new and shiny there is a lot of thrilling exploration, there is fervor and lust. During the honeymoon phase of a relationship emotions can run high, and there is so much to learn and so much to explore. It is exciting. As Y/you shift from one stage to another though the excitement turns into contentment.

Now this is where I want Y/you to hear the intention behind My words. 

Just because the excitement of something new fades over time does not mean it has depreciated or become any less. It shifts and becomes something else. It is a different feeling and a different experience. This doesnt mean that W/we lose passion, that O/our conversations become dry and "old". I'm still exploring and learning Mikayla. I'm still growing and developing My Dominance and Mastery. It just is taking on a new form and a new shape. It is an evolution of the dynamic and this change is what will propel U/us further and deeper into O/our future dynamic. The trust that W/we have built now becomes the foundation W/we stand on and continue to grow from. It is a beautiful thing. To recognize the contentment and joy of what W/we have found and just how special the bond W/we share is. 

With this newfound trust built I can step into more of My authentic self and explore My deeper and darker fantasies. I can explore Mikayla and take U/us deeper into the lifestyle W/we both need. But it takes time. It takes effort. It takes diligence and patience. I also get to look forward to the future and plan where I want to take U/us. 

Seasons change, but I implore Y/you to embrace change and learn to appreciate where Y/you are. Learn the hard lessons that trials and tribulations teach Y/you, take a moment to breathe in the joy of where Y/you are and learn how to grow the future Y/you need from where Y/you are currently. All people start somewhere, it just depends how hard Y/you are willing to work to overcome the situation and build the life Y/you desire for Y/yourself. 

I want to thank all of those that take the time to read My words this morning, and I pray they will be the encouragement Y/you need to move forward and experience some healing on Y/your journey. 

Mstr J