This one is NOT about food

Good afternoon Cage friends, 

It has been an insane month. I am first immensely grateful for the time, energy, devotion and love I have received this past month. There has been so much that has occurred that it truly is difficult to try and find a way to put it all into words. 

Mikayla and I have had a remarkably successful month though. W/we have journeyed into life and both found it very fulfilling with joyful days, fun, work, tasks, events, time spent creating friendships with those around U/us and some miscommunication and hiccups. But no part of any decisions made has been regretted. No part would be done any other way because it was perfect and just right for U/us. 

Many aspects of this trip was to find what real 24/7 life would be for U/us. I set Mikayla tasks that I wanted and needed done, I gave her deadlines for certain projects (especially before the BBQ planned for my family) and many little things that became a part of daily life for U/us. 

The first thing to state is that I have eaten like an absolute King this past month. The fact that I have gained 10+ pounds is testament to that fact. The interesting thing is that for the first time in her life I was able to rekindle her passion for creating food. There was a conversation held about how she felt the culinary degree she had earned years ago had been wasted and not properly utilized until now. Past relationships that she had been in actually caused harm over food and meals. Many times over she felt restricted in the kitchen (and not in the fun way) Part of my joy is derived from bringing healing and affecting change.  Seeing her passion be rekindled for baking, for creating, for trying flavours and experimentation was such a blessing. Being the source of excitement and thrill because I brought home an ingredient that inspired a concept for a meal was fun to bear witness. I love being an inspiration, just as I know she loves to inspire in me. 

I had a critical realization during O/our month together. My childhood was excellent by most standards, but one area that was lacking was physical closeness. My father rarely ever hugged me and while my mom did give decent hugs I had a moment of clarity where my need for physical closeness had been lacking since childhood. It was just a moment where W/we were spending time together, my slave on the couch and I was just finishing some stretching. I went to kiss my slave and as W/we connected there was a deep seated understanding on a cellular level that my hug meter was depleted. That I had been missing "closeness" for a long time and I just needed to use my slave to refill my intimacy meter. It was about receiving service in a simple and innocent way, but she served as my teddy bear giving me much needed intimacy and closeness. To cuddle and almost melt into each other in the most comfortable way, it was rejuvenating. It was uplifting. It was what my soul needed to thrive and she knew her place was to serve. So she hugged me deeply and together W/we just embraced each other. 

W/we also had O/our fair share of mishaps and true life experiences. One day as I was enjoying a bit of free time playing some video games, Mikayla came into the room and told me "W/we had a problem." So I stopped my game and went to check what she was talking about. It turns out there was a clog in the kitchen sink. Water was backing up and wouldn't flow. So W/we got down and dirty trying to remove the issue trying different drain cleaner, snakes, plungers. Eventually I disconnected all of the traps under the sink and found part of the issue. The level of grossness that came out from under that sink was despicable. It was vile and stomach churning. But after all things got cleared and cleaned Mikayla found the true culprit of what had started the clog. It was 2 plastic straws crossed in an X holding all manner of sludge that created a perfect plug. Now part of O/our communication is that W/we frequently hold discussions about what happened, what went right or wrong about a situation and how could it be better. So W/we discussed what had happened, and understanding the cause of the issue realizing sometimes things just go wrong. Its not anyone's fault but W/we simply put O/our best effort forth to solve the issue. Now I had initially placed blame on Mikayla, I thought she had put "too much down the drain". Pointing the finger and saying you did wrong though wasnt helpful and in this case it wasnt even the truth. I had to acknowledge that my blame upon her was ill founded and that it was not her or anyone's fault. While it was not her fault I still imparted a correction going forward in how she could best serve me by trying to minimize any solids being disposed of down the drain. 

All of these events, moments of growth, understanding, learning, communication are the building blocks of creating O/our D/s life. Understanding myself, understanding what is important to me in everyday life and communicating those things is very important to creating her guidelines so that she knows where to walk. By creating the tension of my touch, by knowing the weight of my way, the manner in which I approach problem solving, the way I seek interaction, the tasks I set for her, how I speak, move, and where my joy is created builds my dominance and creates for her the guide to follow. I show her my way, she observes and reacts implementing what she sees and I correct guiding her more closely to my ideal. Its a balance. Its a push and pull. It takes understanding and careful observation, then communication and execution. Then start the cycle again and continue to grow together, working collectively towards the milestones, goals and path I set. 

It has been a tremendous month and W/we have a lifetime to continue on O/our path but it won't make the next few days any easier. But I hope to speak to her soul and give her stable footing that she can rely on and turn to such that the move from home doesnt hit as hard.

To those that take the time to read my words today I thank you, hopefully you find something worthwhile in witnessing a small portion of who W/we are. 

Mstr J

Good morning Cage friends,

Life has been insanely busy but I am abundantly grateful for that. Mikayla and I have nearly finished all of O/our preparations for the BBQ event W/we are hosting later on today. 

I was fortunate to grab a 4 hour nap but as such I now lay wide awake in the middle of the night (thanks night shifts) unable to fall asleep. I have been thinking over my week, the interactions, conversations and moments and wanted to share my experiences and part of my approach. 

D/s is a magnificent thing. It's important to remember that it's exceptionally versatile and can be approached in 100 different ways. It's about finding what suits you. What resonates with your values and applying those aspects to your dynamic. It's about remembering that each s type is extremely unique and knowing what may have worked for your last submissive or slave may not be appropriate for your current girl and the current situation. You have to think. You have to use the information you have and then take the appropriate action that fits the situation. 

What I am speaking about is a really fundamental part of any dynamic. It's about correction. Correction is a very necessary (but scary) part of an established dynamic. I mean W/we all want the best of the dynamic, to be able to laugh and exist inside joy, fun, and just good times. But eventually something will happen and as the Dominant or Master you get to make a choice about how you handle it. Do you let this moment slide because it's not a big deal? Do you bring down the hammer of the harshest punishment because no other way will change her? Do you allow time to act instead of react to the situation? Do you choose to correct her in a subtle manner that over time will garner change? 

First I want to point out some considerations. 

How you approach the situation and finding the appropriate response takes information. Consider the impact to your slave and the most effective tool to help move her in the direction you need. It's also important to take stock of your slaves mental state.

Part of being aware of her mental state is recognizing that to a slave who dedicates all of her existence to you may be terrified of being corrected. In a newer dynamic (one that is still in the early stages of development) it's helpful to remember that if your slave has existed inside previous dynamics that they have experience with the failure of that dynamic. Their Dominant or Master made a choice to release them. The loss of a dynamic is heart wrenching, painful and difficult. When W/we connect in D/s its such a powerful thing but losing that connection can feel like losing your soul or a part of you. Picking up the pieces and moving forward isn't easy. So when you sit down to correct your slave realizing that creating consistency with correction is important. Not only to keep the dynamic moving forward in the direction you desire but also as a peace and mercy to your slave. Creating frequent moments of correction helps her mind understand that you are correcting her to ensure the health and well being of the dynamic. That things are going well, that she is still desired and that by taking the time to correct her behaviour you keep her on the path you intend. Getting blindsided by "Oh I'm releasing you today because you fucked up 3 times 3 months ago and now it really bothers me." Is absolute shit. I mean even in simple conversations of interest and getting ghosted I see plenty of blogs about no warning, no understanding, left hanging WTF. When that comes as a sudden and unexpected release of a slave its absolutely life altering, the world is upside down and I can't breathe or see straight. So understanding part of the tension, fear, and discomfort on the slaves part at being at your mercy when undergoing correction and when she comes to kneel the thought of "Did I fuck up enough to have this end? Am I about to be released for my mistake?" is important. Creating consistent natural and normal moments that teach her to trust in you, to rely on the actions and words you provide that you hold the dynamic and her well being inside of your hand. That you are holding her and not letting go can bring healing, peace and serenity to her mind while undergoing the correction. 

So lets go over some examples of what I'm talking about, and a few situations that Mikayla and I have walked through within the last week and a half. 

To start lets begin with the "internal self correction". 

Just over a week ago, Mikayla and I set about a day to go with my parents to hike up to an inukshuk I built with a friend years ago. W/we wanted to see if it was still standing, spend time with my family, enjoy some beautiful natural scenery and W/we had a project for the BBQ event that W/we were sourcing the materials from this hike. Now Mikayla has written her own blog about this moment and if you wish to share in her perspective you can check out her writing (and if I knew how to navigate the Cage on my phone better I would attach a link). As W/we finished the hike with my parents W/we said goodbye and set about O/our task. There was about a 2 km distance (or just under) from where the vehicle was parked to where W/we had piled up the rocks W/we had selected to create the fire pit. As W/we moved back and forth it became apparent that the bags brought were not of the best quality and couldn't sustain the weight of the rocks. The one backpack I was wearing did well enough but the other bags were quickly destroyed making the task even harder for Mikayla. I was moving at a quicker pace and soon W/we separated both carrying out the task at hand as best W/we could given our ability and resources to move the stones. It wasn't the easiest job. As I loaded up my backpack I also tried taking a stone or two in my hands but that was made difficult because of the water bottle I was carrying. So when I knew Mikayla was struggling and having a hard time at one trip when I got to the vehicle I set down her water, emptied my pack and went back for another trip. I thought to myself she will have the water and can rest and I will get the last bit sorted. When I passed her she told me she had been doing some thinking and needed to inform me of a mentality shift and I was grateful to know she had been doing internal work during this process. I gave her a hug (which hurt her) and told her I had left her water for her at the vehicle when she returned. But as she turned and continued on I didn't give her explicit clear direction to take a break and rest. I just said "I left your water at the vehicle." Now as I continued on the thoughts went through my head I should have told her to rest. The bag she was using looked damaged and frail like it could fail her at any moment. But I couldn't dwell on the fact I missed my chance so I got to the pile and loaded up the backpack and this time because I wasn't holding onto the water bottle I was able to fill my hands and arms with 5 stones. As I set back my pace was slow and I was just focusing on each step. My thoughts of hoping for Mikayla to sit and rest that she would wait for me by the vehicle quickly turned as I realized I had overloaded myself. Within the first 50 steps back I went from "I hope she rests" to "If she does return she can grab a couple of stones nearby and W/we will call it a day" to "Fuck I can't go any farther, if she can only take some of the weight out of my arms". As I trudged along I finally caught sight of her and as she called out I made my need known for her to help me. She took 3 of the 5 rocks, and suddenly I felt like I was making progress. My arms hurt but they didn't burn like they had been. My shoulder were sore from the straps of the backpack cutting into them but I realized I was done and with the time of the evening it was W/we needed to be done. W/we still had to stop at the Costco for groceries and there was a meeting I hoped to attend later that evening and if W/we spent anymore time here then W/we would miss it. So I called it a day, I told her W/we finished despite her desire to continue one and just get one more trip. I told her W/we would take what W/we had. If it wasnt enough then W/we would deal with that situation. But it was time to go. 

As W/we began the drive to finish O/our errands Mikayla began to explain to me what she had been going through. Where her mind and thoughts went. The process and shift of her mentality of where she began and where she ended. As I listened to her I was immensely proud. She understood that I hadn't asked her to keep pace. I never asked her to carry the same weight I did. She understood that she just had to try her best, to give her effort and move so long as I did. Now understanding that my slaves driving force is to serve me as well as she can. To the absolute highest level, to the best of her ability. Its why she will ask constantly "Where can I improve?" "How can I serve you better?" "What do you need right now?" "Do you need me right now?" "Give this a rating out of 10, and how could it be better?" Part of this process is self directed because at the core of who she is, she wishes to please me with her service. When Mikayla explained to me the shift in her mentality the thing was she took it upon herself to correct her behaviour and mentality because at that point I wasnt even aware that anything was amiss. I didnt have a clue what and how she was struggling and so there was no way I could have possibly corrected her. But she knew. She understood. And she did the work necessary to improve and self correct such that I didn't have to do a thing but sit and receive and hear how she made her own internal progress. Because there are moments in time that no one else can do the internal work necessary except ourselves. This is part of being self aware, part of desiring to serve the dynamic and your Person. The best thing to do is simply exist such that you can listen to the results of the hard work they have done and give an honest evaluation of where their mentality is absolutely correct or where it needs tweaks given your understanding and ultimate end goal. This form of correction is based upon ensuring at the end your slave has the right mentality and is following your Will. If she does her self correction and ends up in the wrong direction with the wrong mentality then you need to discuss and lead her where you require her to be. 

This next example is about timing, and being tactful. 

W/we were out running errands and decided to stop in for a short window shopping excursion at the mall nearby where W/we had just checked the local hardware store for materials for projects W/we needed to get finished. As W/we walked around enjoying the time together there was a store that Delilah wanted to stop in at. There was a moment of interaction that didn't sit well with me and I felt a little disrespected. Now at this moment I knew I needed to speak to her and go over what had happened, but W/we were in public and it was not appropriate at that exact time to give her a scolding. It would not have served either of us well and would have ruined the day. So W/we continued on and as far as she was aware nothing was wrong. I choose to set aside the disrespect I felt and continue going through and looking around. W/we had an amazing time and really enjoyed every moment and when it was time to go there wasn't any part of the day that was impacted negatively. 

Once W/we got into the privacy of O/our vehicle I brought up the interaction and W/we had an honest discussion about what had happened. I explained to her that I felt like she had disrespected me, and that her tone and manner did not align with my needs. Then I allowed her the chance to explain where, why and what had happened from her perspective. Part of the interaction was a misinterpretation of her intended tone and expression and my perception of where and how she was expressing herself. Really what it came down to was a miscommunication between U/us. As W/we discussed through what had gone on and where W/we had been misaligned in O/our communication part of an issue arose which is Delilahs ability to understand body language and expression to a degree. That has to do with the fact that she has aspergers autism. This has been a challenge all of her life and is not something easily overcome. In this area having patience to explain, express and share where there are miscommunications and where the expected guidelines for the future becomes the correction she needs instead of a scolding like I felt was initially warranted. I had to adapt my correction because of where the issue began and originated from and I would never have known that if I didn't ask and speak with her to gain the necessary information to truly understand the circumstance from both sides. 

The next example is about being human and taking into consideration your slaves response when a mistake is made. 

Yesterday as part of the preparation for the BBQ W/we still had many tasks to accomplish to finish preparations. One job that needed to be finished was to paint some sections of my house. Just a few weeks back I had gone through and reapplied some stucco on the side of my home to fix some cracks and seal around some windows with gaps just a little too large. As the new stucco dried it wasn't matched to the colour of my home and needed a coat of paint. W/we had recently set up tables and chairs and as Mikayla got ready with all the supplies and I opened up the can of paint I set about finishing my task of cutting some firewood for the smores we want to have towards the end of the BBQ. When she lifted up the paint can and moved over to begin her work the bottom edge got caught on the one chair and it bobbed and tilted spilling paint onto my deck and parts of her shoes. She immediately started grabbing paper towel and frantically began cleaning every bit of wet paint as quickly as she could. She took every action possible to fix her mistake. As I considered the correction required I began to think through "Has this ever happened to me?" And I immediately remembered something almost exactly like this and I knew how easily that could have been my mistake. I knew she did not intend to spill the paint. She wasnt willful, negligent or being disrespectful. It was an accident. It was a moment of being human. The important part for me was the fact that she immediately reacted to fix her mistake. She knew she messed up. She was so worried about getting the paint removed before it dried. But it was a hot day and once most of the liquid had been removed the tiny bit left dried immediately. She had no chance. So I got her to calm down and finish the task of painting the house. I told her that once she was done she would clean her brush and make sure all the paint was removed and I went downstairs and grabbed the leftover paint that matched the colour of the deck and set it outside for her to fix her mistake. She was to literally go over and fix her own mistake. That was the correction she needed. Now if she had reacted in a different way, if she was flippant or unconcerned about the well being of my property not only would correction be warranted but a punishment as well. Her response to her actions dictated the action I deemed as necessary for proper correction. 

In all correction I believe intention is important. I believe understanding is critical to responding with appropriate and reasonable correction. I believe that gentle small pushes in the right direction will yield larger results over the long term. I believe keeping up with small corrections will keep my slave from requiring larger punishments. I believe in a reasonable and fair approach of the punishment fits the crime. I also believe in the nature of my slave and that she wants the best for me and to serve me as best she can. To help her attain those goals knowing when to be lenient, when to be strict, when to push and to show her to trust in me that I will take the action I see fit when situations arise gives her what she needs to be my best slave. 

Now after writing nearly 3 hours its time I get some rest as W/we have a big day ahead of U/us. 

To those that read my words today I thank you. I hope this insight into my dynamic, how I choose to act, when I choose to act is helpful in giving context to the approach you may develop for your own dynamic and help you along your journey. 

Mstr J

Good Evening Cage friends (although probably early morning by the time I finish writing and actually post this) 

My last blog spoke about the fact that as part of a dynamic that I am made better by my slave and that my slave is made better by me. This is what a healthy established dynamic can bring, but what if you are looking for a healthy dynamic and someone who will walk into your life and fix all the things wrong with you? 

I had read a blog recently though that struck me in some ways that raised a few alarms in my head and I felt the need to share something important with those that take the time to read my words. 

So here it is: yes both Mikayla and myself are better for having found each other, yes W/we both add value to each others life. So often a solid dynamic built in trust/communication/dedication can and will do that. But here is the secret. While W/we are made better with and by each other W/we also acknowledge that W/we are individuals capable and not reliant on anyone else to fix or make U/us better. W/we by ourselves are enough. Although neither one of U/us would make the choice to walk alone because of the value and significance of the relationship W/we have. W/we are interdependent not codependent.  

So here's a secret about me. 

2 and a half years ago, I had not earned the right to my slave. 

2 and a half years ago, I was not self aware. 

2 and a half years ago, I was capable but not responsible. 

2 and a half years ago, I was not a Dominant. Not a Master. Not an Owner. 

2 and a half years ago, I was not fit to lead anyone. 

Why is this important? Just recently in part of a dialogue Mikayla mentioned that 2 and a half years ago she would not have taken my collar. It wasn't meant to cut me down. It wasn't meant to hurt or offend me. It was the honest, transparent truth. 2 and a half years ago I was not fit to lead or guide her. 

Why? 

It didn't have to do with my experience. It wasn't about that I was new to the lifestyle. It was because I hadn't taken responsibility for my own life. I wasn't working at being my best self. I wasn't dedicating myself to improving/developing/leading my own life. I was lost. I was in transition. I wasn't stable. I wasn't grounded. I was relying on substances as a crutch and battling against my addictive nature. 

Interacting with my future slave while prodding and poking around the idea of D/s and why it was important to me and learning who I was and am. I was just starting to walk my own personal path. I was just starting my life over at 28/29. I didn't have control over my emotions. I didn't have control over my choices. I didn't have intention that was founded in something healthy. 

But with all those {not having} things, I made a choice. I made a choice to improve my life. I made a choice to discipline. I made a choice to make improvements and handle my demons. Now the important thing to realize is W/we will always have demons. Once W/we chase 1 away it is replaced by a different or sometimes similar one. I'm always a work in progress but 2 and a half years ago I wasn't even on the starting blocks. I hadn't even begun. I was quite a mess of a human and sorting so many aspects out. 

There was no way at that time in my life if Mikayla had accepted my collar that W/we would have been okay. I would have likely fallen into past habits, destroyed the trust placed in me and destroyed something before it even started. But the interesting thing about starting by slow communication, by being long distance forced the process into a crawl. I had to work on me while building the 0.01% improvement of my life. It felt agonizingly slow. It felt like it wouldn't ever end. It felt like there wasn't ever a hope of anything working out or becoming reality. 

The thing was, I needed to fix myself. I needed to heal myself. I needed to get right with my own core values and work at sorting my situation. I needed to establish my core values, I needed to realize my vision and set my Will. I needed to find myself within who I am, and become the best version I could manage in that moment. 

So let's take a look at a small example. One effective tool I have found is to remind myself where I have come from, and how far Ive travelled. To take a moment and compare what may have been and what is. To realize I may not be where I yet desire but I am so much farther along than when I began. Reminding myself of the victories and accomplishments I have managed so far. 

Yesterday I was exhausted after work. I got home after my night shift but had been delayed because I stopped to get some items that I needed. When I arrived home I was greeted by Mikayla and one of the most delicious breakfasts I've had in a long time. (All of the food I have eaten in the last week has been some of the most delicious, one of Mikaylas strongest attributes is her ability to create amazing food) After eating and chatting W/we went to bed an hour after arriving home and I woke up just an hour before I had to leave to come back to work. This same situation without my slave would have been radically different. When I got home I would have skipped breakfast. I would have emptied my vehicle and gone straight to bed. I would have woken up with no time to get ready for work and likely would have been rushed and late. Mikayla prepped food, took care of the items and cleaning, she sorted the small necessary things so that when I woke up all I had to do was shower and clean my teeth. Her slave mentality of service oriented submission made my life so much easier such that I could accomplish so much more due to her support. 

First I am immensely grateful for the change and difference Mikayla has made in my life. She makes so much more possible because of her service. But let's take this same exact situation but lets look at it from 2 and a half years ago. 

The difference is the fact that I struggled with productivity. I procrastinated. I would have taken unhealthy advantage and abused the fact that her slave mentality would be to help in all areas of my life. I would have used her help to bolster my laziness. Having her around would have been a detriment because it would have been an excuse to procrastinate more, to become lazier and less effective. The areas of her strength, her organizing, the food she prepares would have been wasted on me in that time of my life because I would have taken it for granted. It would not have been earned and would not have been healthy for me and ultimately for her. It would become a negatively spiralling effect that would have destroyed U/us. 

The fact is without developing my own sense of need to handle my life, without my own drive, without my own effort all that my slave is would have been wasted on me. Now though getting the chance to rest and know all that I need handled will be sorted so I can do more with my time gives me the opportunity I need to be the man I am and the man she needs me to be. I came to work refreshed, ready, and was able to run errands effectively on my way to work and will be running on my way home to give my slave the tools she needs to be successful in my life. 

The point is this. You can't wait for someone to fix your life. Begin fixing your life. Handle the obstacles that are holding you back. If something isnt working then try something new. Do something different that may yield different results. If that still doesn't work then learn what you can from the experience and grow. Its only when you have been working at making yourself the healthiest version of you that when the right person steps into your world that you are ready to have them in your life. The result of being your healthiest means you are prepared and ready to be assisted and grow in the right ways with the right person. 

To those that take the time to read my words today I thank you, I hope that my experience may give some insight that sets you on the path that's right for you. 

Mstr J

Good morning Cage friends, 

It has just turned past 1 full week since my Mikayla has arrived on my shores and I am abundantly grateful. 

The very interesting thing about having my slave here is the fact that she has dedicated nearly every waking minute to the improvement and transformation of my space. Now keep in mind despite the fact I just finished my basement my house was still a complete mess. Not a complete mess but it has been shocking how much more work was still left to be done before the bbq for my family W/we are hosting. 

This trip has very much been about pills, bills and all the in between. 

I must say having an event that W/we are planning which requires projects left and right to be accomplished. Budgets to be managed and handled and with a few surprise additions (like tonsillitis and lost phones and damaged luggage while hauling rocks) W/we have had a very real dose of what life is for U/us. The good, the "bad" and the ugly. 

The most remarkable thing happened though, I was having a conversation with some really wonderful people W/we are building friendships with (and to even some degree a form of mentorship) and the one gentleman spoke words that rang true for me. He was mentioning how his slave knew before she stepped into the lifestyle how important it was to be owned, and he reciprocated the feeling and need to own. How a working dynamic makes both slave and Master better. Those words have never been more true. I am a much better man because of my slave. I am made better because my slave drives me to be. She creates so much opportunity to push myself and if I'm willing to take a leap and put myself into a slightly uncomfortable position then I grow and become stronger. 

Likewise, giving my slave direction. Spaces she can make her mark of improvement. Places she can serve me. Areas that can use her touch, and expertise truly transforms what I once had. Not only in my physical space but in my slave herself. 

In this past week W/we have taken my house the building blocks that I have formed over the last 5 months and turned it into my home. She has worked her tail end off, even managing a full day of travelling the globe which then turned into a hike, partially hauling rocks for a semi permanent firepit (created a few days later) running errands, making appointments, getting groceries and making a hell of a first impression with my parents. Which totalled around 40 ish hours of her going nearly non stop. And then sleeping nearly 12 hours the first day W/we managed to get back home. 

There is so much to "unpack" about O/our first week together. There is still so much for U/us to yet do before W/we host my family. But each day more gets accomplished. Little by little the jobs are getting done. Some very much permanently. Some semi-permanently with the intention for next year and next trip to be more fully finished. Once resources of finances are allocated. There was only so much W/we could focus first and only so much time and money to be used. It took careful planning sorting which jobs were most important and which could be done well enough with some elbow grease to be accomplished better and more fully at a later date. 

Its not about creating perfection. Its not about finishing everything this moment or this trip. Its about building a life together, and improving 1% per day. Eventually as W/we improve with experience, as W/we learn each other and grow together W/we simply become better and perfect for each other. With intentional diligent effort, love and care. 

Today I am finishing the first night of my return to work. The first time Mikayla has been alone since her arrival. I am very excited for the surprise breakfast she has been working at preparing for me. I am excited that when I return home that I will have food prepared and waiting for my arrival. I will have my Mikayla waiting to serve me to the best of her ability today. It's about learning to appreciate the small things and not take for granted what is selectively intentionally given, knowing that I still have to be disciplined and earn her submission just as she works to earn my hand and guidance. 

What W/we do is a blessing from both sides of the slash. Its not entered in lightly or given without thought and meaning. Its about building each other up to become the absolute best versions of who W/we are meant to be. 

I thank those that take the time to read my words today, and I pray that Y/you find the person who makes life better in all ways for Y/you. 

Mstr J

Good early morning Cage friends, 

Well after consistent and constant delays its finally time. I'm waiting in the parking lot, there are just 5 km left in her flight and she touches down in just under 10 minutes. 

She is here. She is finally about to be home. 

MstrJ 

Good day Cage friends, 

It has been a long minute since I have posted. Life has been pretty insane with all sorts of work to be done and preparations to finish. My focus has been very directed towards my surroundings and my goals. 

I am glad to announce that my home is very well near prepared. I have little odds and ends of jobs that need to be completed but they are not massive, time consuming monster projects. I have finished those. My home is very nearly "complete". Although truth be told my house won't quite be complete until my slave resides permanently with me. That is still a long ways off yet many years down the road, but its a milestone W/we both have O/our eyes set on. 

Today I wanted to share some of my thoughts about LDR, mindsets and the types of preparation that work for me and not against me. 

Now I consider LDR the type of relationships where you are restricted in being able to meet your person only a few times in the year. Couples that exist a city or two over, where a short trip and you could spend your weekend together I dont honestly consider that a "long" distance relationship. Yes you don't live in the same area but if you can manage to see each other every weekend. If you make the time and choose to spend your resources if that's your priority then its not really a long distance relationship. Currently Mikayla and I are restricted that W/we can see each other twice in one year. That is what W/we can reasonably manage. O/our main method of communication is via video calls and it is part of O/our daily routines. W/we manage and work between the schedules of work, kids, errands, spending time with friends and just general life happenings. Part of existing inside a LDR is that in many cases you need to keep in mind to set a different pace. To understand and realize that O/our lines of communication can get turned upside down. When there is a black out, and power goes down. Or internet doesn't connect. Or issues with the call, delays in responses, being unable to see or hear one another. You need to remain patient when approaching LDR which are founded in different forms of communication. It also takes a few creative solutions and multiple attempts at different options to find one that "behaves". Even managing situations during travel (such is the case W/we are facing now). 

Mikayla messaged me after my golf tournament yesterday "Houston we have a problem." It turns out there was a delay in her original flight which now leaves her missing the connecting flight here. So W/we had to scramble hours before she left for the airport figuring out how I could be aware of any necessary changes especially if 1) she doesnt have time to notify me before she makes a mad dash to get on her connecting flight or 2) there is no access to Wi-Fi or the form of communication is lost between U/us. So part of handling LDR and issues that arise is an attempt at telling the future. Trying to understand "What ways can this thing logically reasonably go wrong?" "What are the most likely reasons W/we wouldn't be able to communicate?" Now there are a million things that could happen. The biggest issue is now that her connecting flight is missed I won't know what flight she is getting on, I wont know when she is arriving and I won't know if she is safe. W/we managed to mitigate these issues by first taking action in the case that she is not able to contact me prior to making her connecting flight. I am connected to her email such that I will get notifications of itinerary changes so I can check myself once an update comes. Once that was sorted most issues should be resolved but W/we took it one step farther and created a change in O/our mindsets. If it happens that she arrives and I am not there to pick her up, she will message me and W/we both understand (because of explicit communication) that I will take my time and safely get to the airport and she will simply hang out until I arrive. She does airports very well, she has been around them all her life and she is very patient. Ideally all things will work out perfectly, but W/we have established plans, mindsets and know that no matter what happens so long as she makes it here safely all is well. Part of giving her peace too is the simple piece of knowledge "Even if you arrive at 2 am, I will be there to bring you home." 

I find setting the right mindset, giving perspective, using patience, and trying to imagine problems and pre-solve them goes a long way to creating a stable LDR. It gives peace when there is uncertainty. It brings calm when storms rage. It sets U/us up for success rather than failure. 

Another key point to LDR when you only see each other a couple times a year is the fact that you get ample time to plan and prepare. Now when I speak about preparation I want to make one thing clear. Always ensure you are authentic. Now earlier I spoke about preparation that works for me and part of this concept is this: I am bringing my slave to experience authentic life with me. It is about realizing your strengths and playing into those. This is not about vacation fun time. This is about managing the resources of time, money, fuel, balancing work, ensuring life is handled, dealing with chores, finding out how LIFE will actually be together. My point is to make this month long experience as close to real life as possible. So lets take into account my financial situation. Right now I am trying to pay off my debt. That is a major focus in my priorities. So how do W/we handle excursions, activities, time with family and friends, time alone, errands, groceries. Yes I have 1000 goals of wanting to share experiences with my slave, yes I want to take her here and here and here and here. But it takes planning to say what is manageable for this trip? What things do I want to do but will need to save for next time because it would cost too much fuel and go over the budget for the month? 

The other thing to realize is that by my nature I am an opportunist. I don't plan every minute out, I don't write down each and every little thing I want to do. But the great part about having a slave is that I get to utilize her strengths. One of her strengths is her organization. So by giving her a general idea of the gameplan (because I do still want a few surprises for her) W/we get to collectively create this experience together. She organizes a brilliant system of "minimizing needless travel" which just makes sense to my brain. Because W/we hold similar values and get along in the way W/we process and think there are no issues because I see the logic she uses to save me money, to save me fuel, to be effective and useful with each space W/we travel. It all serves a purpose, it all has intention and that is the way W/we live daily. 

I am very excited that she is on a plane coming home. I am ready and have done my preparation for her arrival that suits me and plays into my strengths. I am very excited to experience life and know exactly how she fits within my space and my dominion. I am excited for how much better, easier, entertaining and enjoyable she will make my life. I know she has been longing for home, and home is waiting with open arms to welcome and snuggle her. 

To those that take the time to read my words I thank you, I wish you A/all a joyful day on your path and journey. 

Mstr J

Good Evening Cage friends, 

Boy what a difference a day can make!! Today was absolutely tremendous. 

In so many different ways without anything changing all things have. 

I just finished my 4 nights which means I now get a sweet week off. When I arrived home I took some time with my slave to evaluate my budget. Needless to say for the first time I was able to see and understand what progress I am making. Its about taking simple steps but holding to them. The reason this was so pivotal was because for the first time after looking over what actual numbers are I could see the path forward. It radically shifted my view and today my house became my home. 

To prepare for life and all the good things coming I realized that when my slave arrives she will care for my property. She is immaculate and will do an extraordinary job, but I realized something. My actions will dictate to what degree "is okay" for me. How clean do I like my house? How will I take care and keep my yard? What things will I do and work at improving such that she has a clear picture of *this is the standard I keep and I expect you to meet this minimum requirement*. It will be plain and visible by the manner in which I keep my home. Yes she is aware she is helping to improve this area of my life. I'm not a cleaner/organizer. I dont do these tasks well and I am asking her for her help in this area because she is superior. She has strengths where I do not. I would be a fool not to take advantage of where she is strong. 

But as I realized and saw the future of where I am and what it can be I made a decision in my heart today. I am home. I can make this home mine absolutely. 

When I left to go grab my mail today I stopped by my neighbour who spends a lot of his time outside. I began a conversation with him because I saw a shift in what my future requires. I was able to reach out and begin building a connection because I saw long term benefit from having/creating friendships with those who are my neighbour's. They are all really amazing people and they are part of my community. 

I was able to walk with confidence and be my goofy weird self today grabbing my mail. These people get to know and see who I am as my own individual. The life I choose to live will become apparent by the choices and decisions I make. You can stare and chuckle and ask "Why is he walking so weird?" "What ungodly horrendous noises is he trying to make?" But those parts are just me, they are areas I am pursuing and am making improvement in. I am dedicating myself to a small number of skills to grow and become a master of those things. 

I am narrowing my focus and spending my precious time in areas that make life awesome for me. Today I made progress in my physical health. Today I made progress in my mental outlook. Today I made progress in discipline. I also made progress in allowing myself to be less disciplined. I strongly believe there needs to be a balance within the life you live. 

Recently I have set myself a new system of eating. I eat 2 meals a day, and I set a calorie limit of roughly varying sizes. By keeping to this plan I have inched my way closer to reaching 175 pounds and my end goal is right around 170. If I could make it there I would be exactly where I need to be to feel fulfilled in my effort and to get the results I am looking for in my calisthenics. I have been making steady progress but today I also allowed myself some snacks and have gone well over the self imposed limit. I celebrated me and my accomplishments and tomorrow I get to live in my disciplined state and return back to the system that has proven effective for me. 

I have also for the first time in my life intentionally managed to perform a draw shot in golf. I went out and practiced at the little park by my house and as I am developing and learning the mechanics of my short game I set about a challenge for myself. Over my night shift I watched a bit of YouTube about improving my golf game. Learning different things. Elevating the approach with which I desire to play this game. I want to get competitive. I want as many tools to yield results on a course. So I attempted to complete 1 draw shot and 1 fade shot. There were these two wooden posts set in the ground for lines that run about 50 yards away from each other. I set my ball in line with both posts and wanted to hit right of the first and have the ball turn and end left of the second. I managed to make this happen today. Although I did not manage to hit the fade shot. But I will continue to practice and it will come. I happen to have a tournament that I am playing at the end of the month for my work and I am determined to be a great benefit for my team in short game and on the greens. I really want to take first and I believe that the training and effort to practice will bring about the results I desire. I'm very excited to see my growth in the next month. 

Anyways just a bit of a check up/ look in at life and where things are going. But its June.... My slave will soon be here and I am very excited for what this summer will hold for U/us. 

Mstr J 

Good morning Cage friends, 

My favourite thing about my slave is that she constantly helps me to shift my perspective when I am struggling. One of my absolute favourite ways she has impacted my life is my view of tools and items specifically inside the kitchen and how she has helped me to perceive things in a different manner. 

I used to look at pots and pans with scratches, left over burns from sauces and bubbles from boiling with disgust. I would be so frustrated and annoyed that they existed. She pointed out to me that a well used (and cared for) tool will have marks and usage from years of work. It is proof of its effective and usefulness inside the kitchen serving its purpose. I loved this expression and it helped change my perception and appreciation for all the different ways I would make use of my tools inside the kitchen. 

Now, I would like to share my own perception about life, the universe and D/s dynamics. To begin I am going to share a story that just happened to me days ago that made for an interesting weekend experience. 

I was working alongside my father and as we were outside chatting with a neighbour I began to feel overheated, nauseous and lightheaded. I wound up having a syncope which is usually a low blood pressure which results in unconsciousness. The biggest issue was that I was standing on my driveway at the time and when I went unconscious I proceeded to fall and hit the back of my head on the concrete. When I woke up, my father and next door neighbours knelt over me trying to get me to breathe and wake up. The rest of that day was spent waiting. Waiting for Fire, EMS, transport to a "nearby" hospital, waiting for a bed in trauma and waiting to be checked over by a doctor. Needless to say it was not the day I (or my father) was expecting. 

First let me say I am well enough. No damage was done to my spine and when I woke I was coherent, capable of remembering information, where I was, what day etc. Yes my neck is sore, I do get small headaches at moments, and while things are not 100 percent it could have been much worse. 

My point in sharing this is that people are not perfect. I am reasonably healthy and I had no way of stopping what happened. I didnt realize what was going on and didn't react in time. I could have minimized some of the damage if I had laid down and put my feet up but I didn't realize that impending unconsciousness was knocking at my door. In fact that may have prevented me from even going unconscious as the blood would have had an easier time getting to my brain without fighting gravity. But sometimes we just aren't capable of reacting appropriately in time. 

Time, use, "old" age, experience, history, trauma will shape and leave their scars on each individual. No one is perfect. No one can be perfect because we are human. By definition we are imperfect creatures. 

Part of the search for s types as a Dominant leaves us with a bit of a conundrum. Who would be the right person to fit the dynamic we crave? I believe there is some form of ideal that each Dominant searches for. Dominants focus on appearance, character, spirit, emotional maturity or whatever characteristic that holds the most value in their search. To each Dominant that value will be seen in different ways, with different weight put into the areas most important to their values and following their Will. It will compose a few areas, revolving around the most important aspects deemed by that Dominant. 

For my dynamic the most imperative characteristic is that W/we hold similar mindsets. The approach to thought, to understanding, communication, that W/we look at a situation and react in similar ways. That W/we act with integrity, honour and respect for O/ourselves and for those W/we interact with. Now there are many different factors that impact my choice in slave, one important factor for me is to see the value brought into my life by their existence. How she changes my self perception, how she changes and fosters growth and gives me the chance to lead and in doing so I have to push myself ahead of her. I cant lead from behind, although I guess you could say that in some instances I do lead from behind.... 

When I found my slave and was just beginning to interact the thing that floored me the most was the fact that she held a conversation well, and no matter what topic I brought up she could educate me and help me walk forward by sharing new information and bringing ideas in new ways I had never considered before. She expanded my thought process. She helped me see myself. 

Now, she is my toy. She has her marks and scratches on the surface, and some parts of her that are broken. They were all impacted by history, past trauma, and previous choices made with the information she had on hand. The thing is I have been spending the past 2+ years fine tuning my toy. I have been identifying those broken pieces and laying tape, buffing out the scratches, gluing parts back together. Some fixes and healing is superficial and still hasn't reached the depths I desire because the underlying problems still exist. But the process of created my ideal is not something to be rushed through. I intend to heal her, mind, heart, body and spirit. I intend to make my own marks, to add my own scratches to my toy but each one will be forging my ideal girl. Each one will be with purpose, to overwrite an old scar. It is not about removing all the wounds. Its not about creating a perfect human but a perfect for me human. There will always be marks that remain upon the surface and deep within, but its changing the nature of those marks from negative to positive ones. 

The best part about D/s is that it is a lifelong process, one that both parties desire. Its about finding a person who will change and allow to give all of herself over to my creation. We both desire a TPE 24/7 M/s dynamic and W/we are putting each piece together bit by bit. I am excited for the creation and grand fine tuning of my property. W/we have laid the groundwork and now are taking the necessary slow steps of building and repairing my property in ways that are valuable and important to U/us. 

Healing does not happen in a day. When you are fixing damage that has taken hold of for years if you attempt to rush the process it will only damage things further. When a Dominant seeks to find their ideal partner I would recommend that you consider all the aspects of who that person is, and ask yourself how much work am I willing to commit to this person? Do I see the potential or is it worth it? Will the end result be worth the effort to get there? How far am I willing to improve to help her (or him) reach the potential I see for them? Life will always be hard. With an obstacle of not enough time. Too far away. Damaged limbs. This, that or whatever that seems to be a wall too high to grapple. But the question becomes will you set your resolve and determination to overcome those obstacles? In my opinion, if she is worth it you will find a way to move through and with diligence manifest healing in profound and miraculous ways.

You can forge your ideal girl, you can fine tune her to become your ideal. But its not without immense effort and constant attention and devotion. 

I hope A/all that take time to read these words find peace and perhaps some strength to move through the difficult challenges they face in their life. I wish Y/you all success in finding Y/your ideal partner. 

Mstr J

Good early morning Cage friends, for those crazies that spend T/their wee hours reading up on those invested in O/our community. (Or later on in the day)

Today was a really good day.

Lately I have been struggling with some internal strife. I was hard pressed to find joy in my life, and I had so much on my mind. I was worried about the usual things, hoping for resolution to some of the issues I face in my existence.

Now despite my problems being very simply first world in nature, they still impacted me deeply. It felt like I had so much jumbled in my brain I didn't have room for my heart, I couldn't orchestrate what my needs and desires were. I was so filled with a deep seated negativity that it was a black hole that filled my soul and devoured joy, laughter, my smile, my energy. I didn't hold onto my patience, and I was irked with things that don't bother me. 

My slave could sense something was amiss and many times she asked if I was okay, reaching out to bring a smile to my face trying desperately to help heal my wounded self. I was not expressing myself fully to her, and I was keeping much of my struggle hidden. I didn't want her to worry. I didn't want her to fret. In some ways I didn't want to bother her because she wasnt the source. 

The thing was I felt lost inside of who I hope to be. Part of that reason was because I wasn't making my desires and needs a priority. The bigger issue is that I wasn't trying to even search for them. I was so bogged down by handling strife and concern and life I didn't "have time" to look at what priorities I need. 

The way W/we choose to spend O/our time says something about who W/we are. Lately I have gone back to asking myself important questions about the time I have planned for my slave and I when she comes to visit me in June. I am focusing on what routines do I want to establish with her. What intention should I set for certain scenes, acts of service, and why is it important to me. What is it that I need? What ways do I want to see her grow? What goals do I have for the time W/we share this summer? 

Lately I have been handling my lifes responsibilities with a fervor and excitement. That black hole that was destroying me slowly from the inside has been replaced. I have created The Sun inside of my soul. I am beginning to burn with passion for setting my life right. Preparing for the future. For my future. For O/our future. For her future. I am making necessary changes in my life and seeing results born from the effort I have dedicated to my choices of time spent. 

I still have my struggles with procrastination in certain areas, but I no longer procrastinate in every area of my life. I am really proud of the growth I have managed, the discipline and choices I make intentionally. I am grateful that I choose delayed gratification and am learning patience along my walk. Everything in the right time, but its important to remember that W/we make choices of where to focus O/our energy and intent. I pray that Wisdom finds me everyday to guide my actions and focus. 

Today I couldn't stop singing while working in my home. I was enjoying hearing my voice ring and echo inside of the room of my house. The walls have been sanded and the first coat of primer is drying. I expect the next 2 or 3 weeks I will be finished with this project. I am very excited to finish inside my house, then turn my focus to the outside. 

I hope Y/you find joy and create light as Y/you walk the path set before Y/you, regardless of what difficulties may lie in store. 

Mstr J

Good day Cage friends,

It has been a hot minute, but as life happens so does the ebb and flow of activity. Right now in my life things are moving at a tortoises speed. I have so many goals and desires for my future life and where I am going. I have so many ideas for what I wish could happen right now but it seems that patience is absolutely required as nothing will be accomplished in a day. 

I find that to be really effective it is good to set short term, medium term and long term goals. 

I find for myself the long term goals tend to set the medium and short term goals. Take for example my desire to set myself on stable financial ground. That is a long term goal. Now I dont really have a date imagined for when I will be free of my debt but I orchestrate a check in every 2 weeks and set plans in short/medium bursts for what needs to happen with my money today and tomorrow and the days my bills are required to be paid. Then I get to make decisions in the moment like when my co worker makes a choice to go for lunch at Popeyes and I get to decide if the gratitude of a meal is worth the price. Although thats a slightly poor example because of another reason which I will expand on a little lower. 

But I currently have 5 major countdowns that exist in my life. I have 162 days, 70 days, 12 or 13 days and then *unknown*. 

Each countdown gives stability and clarity because there is an end date. Sometimes its the hopes of reaching certain ability by certain time. Sometimes its just simply making it to that day consistently. I created the Me Project sometime ago and set the timeline for 365+1 days. I know I can math but the idea is to participate for a full year and one day, and I am writing in my own personal journal focusing on my growth with intention. There isn't a I want to see this specific result. Its more so about documentation and just keeping and finding the time each day to write a little and expand my mind, heart, spirit in whatever way I am lacking that day. I only have 162 days remaining until I have accomplished this project. 

I have 70 days until my girl is in my arms. Just 10 more weeks. I am very excited for this chance because it will be the closest thing to real life. Plus I find there is a difference in commanding in your space vs outside your space. I will get to organize and set plans for real life. Develop routines in my home. I get to settle into life with my slave. This will be a new challenge and test of my skill and ability but one that both of U/us are excited and ready to jump into. 

Now I have also made the choice to participate in Ramadan this year and because it follows the lunar calendar it could end May 1st or 2nd depending. Which means I have 12 or 13 days remaining in my fasting. I had set a goal of trying to reach a new threshold of below 180 pounds and to master my handstand by the end of Ramadan. I did not decide to participate based upon religious reasons, but I am trying to redefine my relationship with food, to learn discipline in my life, to help improve my physical health and to support my loved ones. Last year I started halfway through and finished 14 days, but this year I wanted to finish the entire month. So it wasnt just a financial reason I declined joining my partner in lunch, despite the fact I adore Popeyes and haven't had their food in many months. I still have another 3 hours until my fast is over and I am ready and excited to be able to enjoy my iftar this evening. It has helped me find more joy in the food I eat, and a deeper appreciation for how readily available things are in a first world country. 

But the reason I really wanted to make this post today is because of the goals that W/we set in life that dont have *end dates* to them. I am still in the process of getting divorced, and as it stands I am waiting for paperwork to get processed to continue. I was told it could be 1 or 2 weeks and yet that was a week or two ago now. Time marches forward always and it seems to slip away faster than you realize. But I have been finding myself unsettled and anxious just a little lately. It has been impacting my mood and ability to participate actively. When we have goals that hold unknown timelines with uncertainty it can be very hard to navigate. You cant set a plan because things could unfold today in the next hour or it could still be weeks/months away. Its just harder to manage. This is an area where I have to let go and exist here right now. I have to be mindful of where I am and not rush. Grow patience through the trial of unknown and uncertain. It isnt easy but its worth the effort to develop the trait. 

I am very excited for what the future holds and I am ready to embrace today and take what opportunity presents itself. I am ready to take action but also exhibit patience so that I make the right decision at the right time. I am not rushing anything so as to protect my domain and the future I am building. 

I wish Y/you all well on the journey of Y/your life and that there is prosperity in the areas Y/you walk. Have a wonderful day. 

Mstr J