Online now
Online now

This one is NOT about food

*Ahem* Okay, so let's all take a deep breath and a small moment. I made this blog with the intention of making a post. Instead of creating a blog about ME, I made it with the sole intention of telling people about a small victory I achieved in an average everyday life experience.

So I'm here once again to say "Let's get this RIGHT". If you couldn't tell I enjoy food, so there will be moments where I share a mistake I made in the kitchen or a success. But that's not all I'm about.

I'm not a social media guy, I got rid of Facebook, didn't want instagram, said screw it to snapchat, refused tik tok and don't get me started on dating apps.... But I wanted to reach out and create something for myself and those around me who might gain some knowledge or better themselves from an experience I've had. (Yes, I still plan on talking about food. Just not the whole time.)

So Round 2, FIGHT!!!!
2 years ago. March 25, 2022 at 4:49 AM

Good Evening Cage friends, 

 

In my last blog I spoke about drop and some of the ways I attempted to manage it within a long distance relationship especially when leaving the physical presence of Y/your P/person. 

 

One thing I did not really go into detail about that I wanted to expand on a little bit was this. 

 

Having something to look forward to. 

 

Part of O/our plan was that W/we wanted to ensure there was a return trip scheduled (if all went well and W/we did in fact want to see each other again) before W/we returned home. Part of this concept is to have the knowledge that while W/we are leaving it can be very grounding to have something tangible to reach back towards and know in your heart and mind that yes W/we will connect again and here are the tangible plans set in place. 

 

Now originally W/we set an intention to try and book another cruise while still on the cruise ship because of the discount they give for booking and guaranteeing more business. That didn't happen. Although it still worked out in a round about way because of the circumstance with shifting flights to get to each other there was a credit left for another trip that had to be used up this year. 

 

So weeks later (a couple of days ago now) and after spending hours with online advisors working through which flights, costs and layovers along with departure and arrival times would fit best (and a very frustrating moment where you got dropped by the online advisor just before work) W/we finally have O/our tangible plans for the future and something to look forward to. 

 

21:32 on the 26th of June. My slave will return to my arms and my space. Just a simple 3 months away. 

 

Now the really excellent part about this trip is that Mikayla will be coming to my home. To my space. To my neck of the woods. I get to show her what I do for fun, cool places I have around my area and all sorts of different adventures. I get to plan this trip. I get to orchestrate where W/we go and what W/we do on a much more personal level. Before I made the choices yeah that flight and that cruise and let's stay there. But I didnt know the space. I didn't know what to do in the areas. I won't lie though it was super fun having Mikayla guide me sharing interesting facts and spaces she knew and exploring together in some senses. 

 

But this time around I have the home court advantage and I will be orchestrating O/our outings. I get to surprise her with all sorts of fun and mischievous machinations. I already have a list of places I want to take her. Things I want to show and share with her. I have ideas for plans but have to find out if they are financially viable and what W/we will have time for. 

 

Now the interesting thing is how do I take this advantage and give her tidbits of info or downright tell her aspects of every bit of my plan. Personally I find giving her scraps of knowledge of what will happen gives her that grounding and sense of security that may assist in her managing her drop from O/our previous trip. There are definitely certain events and outings that will remain a complete surprise but I believe if I hide every bit of knowledge from her it may be less tangible and could cause a small bit of stress/uncertainty. I think it requires balance between telling all and leaving something to be desired. 

 

But I get to ground myself in setting the plans, spending the next 3 months working on my gameplan of what I want to accomplish. What routines do I want to set. She will be in my home. She will be at my mercy. She and I will be living O/our first true experience of the 24/7 dynamic that W/we have been building over the last 2 years. 

 

I'm honestly very excited and I am waiting with anticipation. The best part is that she will be here for her birthday and then just a couple weeks later she will be here to celebrate my birthday. I have some vacation when she arrives and it will be a good blend of true real life together. I will get the chance to come home from work, to be gone and have her be alone inside my home. To see what and how she cleans my space. How does she prepare and manage my household. One of the things I am probably most excited for is to come home to dinner or breakfast (depending if I just worked a night or day shift) ready for me the minute I walk through my door. 

 

There is so much to be grateful for and so much to prepare for. The next 3 months will be immensely busy but well worth the wait. Waiting with anticipation. Waiting with joy in my heart. Waiting and orchestrating my preparation. Waiting to receive my slave in a way that just hasn't happened before. 

 

I hope A/all that read my words this evening find some insight and perhaps some clarity of the journey T/they are on. Some inspiration and insight that leads to the healthy dynamic that is right for who they are and need. 

2 years ago. March 22, 2022 at 11:41 AM

Good morning Cage friends, 

 

One of the magnificent things about this lifestyle is the way Y/you choose to express Y/yourself. There are a myriad of dynamic styles and many people want different things. Although I would argue that quite often high on the list of needs is physical space. Being able to turn a long distance relationship into a "reality" of close, in-person, feel, experience and physically enjoy one another's presence. 

 

It seems to be there are a few countdowns going on in the community and I have to say I am very excited for those that have found their P/person and are working to either creating a permanent space with each other or even just counting down to a physical meeting. Its wonderful to have that goal and vision of time together. Its euphoric to know that within just a few moments Y/you will be able to enjoy each others company and live the dynamic Y/you need and desire in life. 

 

So as many of those who read this are in different places I want to share my (and a part of O/our) experience. This is true for U/us and where W/we are currently at. 

 

A little history. 

 

It has been just over a month since I visited my Mikayla. Part of O/our dynamic is such that it will remain long distance for now. W/we have intention to move into each other's space (more so her moving to my neck of the woods) but because of O/our specific situation this may take years before that change can happen. Its not a short term. As such O/our plan is to try and meet twice a year, leading up to finally making a permanent move. 

 

Right now W/we are solidifying O/our plans to have Mikayla come and visit me in my home and my space. This would be roughly 3 months and 4 ish days or could be slightly longer depending on which flight is found and cost etc. 

 

The thing is there is a fairly large issue that W/we both have to contend with. It's the drop after W/we experience that intense closeness and sudden ripping of O/our partner from O/our space. Mikayla wrote an excellent blog (and if I knew how to link a blog I would have done so here >>>> but I'm on my phone and still dont know how to really navigate this site super well) 

 

Here is a little insight from my perspective about navigating not only my drop, but hers as well. 

 

As stated above because of the nature of where W/we intend to go with O/our dynamic, there is a bit of a difference in handling drop as compared to someone who lives a short drive away from their partner. W/we dont have the luxury of popping over for a weekend, it takes days of travel especially if you get a 10+ hour layover..... 

 

When W/we first left each other (I'm talking in the airport when she had to go through her security gate and mine was in the opposite direction) there was something simple about watching over her and making sure she got through the security check until I couldn't see her anymore. After that checking in by O/our usual methods of communication. 

 

One thing that was on my mind after all of O/our travel and W/we both made it safely home to O/our respective destinations was being able to watch over her flights. That keeping an eye on her, watching her movement. Making sure her flights left reasonably on time and that they arrived safely at their destinations. Messaging her just before she landed so that she had something waiting for her to read and focus on as she moved farther away from me. It's a small comfort but its finding whatever way you can to remain connected. 

 

When she returned home, my first concern was getting her back onto a normal schedule. She was contending with jet lag and the first week I didn't focus on much of anything except allowing her ample opportunity to rest and recover and get back to her time zone. W/we did little things like reading O/our book but I wasnt concerned about exercise until she had caught back up on her rest and was feeling "normal". Once she was settling back into her regular routine I could begin to reintroduce those elements that are constant and important to U/us. Part of that includes giving her a chance to focus on me, her submission and building a sense of "closeness" despite the distance between U/us. So each day I set her an intention while she is at work to take a minute or two to settle into kneel in a private space and focus on the elements of my impact on her life. To focus, meditate and bring her mind into a calm, serene place. To settle her and ground her within me. 

 

I believe its important to go slowly and bring back elements one at a time, as there is a return to feeling the distance and the weight of the separation between U/us. I don't want to overwhelm her with too much that she doesn't feel she can succeed. Its about rebuilding that sense of my presence in her life but in a steady manner. Especially that as she has stepped back into work and schedule there is extra workload on her plate because of an expected (and unexpected) promotion. So it becomes a balancing act making sure that I am a focus and priority without negatively impacting her necessary focus of work, family, friends and life/health/well being. Because one thing that happened when W/we first returned home was the fact W/we didn't want to people. W/we didnt want to interact or expend any effort outside of U/us. W/we wanted to revel and remain deeply seated inside of O/our interaction and not leave that space. 

 

 

For myself there was an interesting experience that as soon as I returned home I went straight back to work within 24 hours of landing. When I finished work I started renovations on my basement to improve my home and give myself opportunity to rent out a space that could help turn my financial situation around. My life has been extremely busy as when I'm not at work, I am spending my weekends alongside my parents working on finishing the renovations to my unfinished basement. It has been good to have things to focus my mind on, but it hasn't left a lot of time to focus on O/our dynamic. Although focusing on my immediate situation so I can resolve my financial situation to prepare for O/our future is prioritizing the dynamic over my girl. But again all things in balance. I need to ensure she doesn't feel neglected despite life and its insane levels of busy from both sides. Its about making time when and how and where W/we can. 

 

As best as I can manage I still deal with the emptiness of not having my slave beside me. There was one evening when I went out to celebrate my own promotion at work, but I was by myself. When I finished my meal and went for a walk the lack of her presence beside me left me feeling immensely lonely. It was difficult to walk and not have her on my arm. There was such a sense of loss. Learning to manage those situations and walk through those spaces its important to lean on each other, and know that both sides will feel that loss. 

 

One thing that has been very helpful to me during this last month has been having "something to hold onto." During O/our trip there was one of my favourite moments when W/we spent time under the full moon wrapped with my arms around her in a way that W/we both enjoy. W/we just cuddled and existed in a deep moment where there was nothing but U/us. In that moment what tied U/us together was looking up and experiencing the moon on the most gorgeous night. Settling into each other. Now while I am at home, anytime I look at the moon whether its full or covered by a cloud or new I smile and think back to that moment. I reminisce about how she felt in my arms. I think about the way O/our bodies fit like missing puzzle pieces. I just am filled with the warmth of that memory. 

 

I believe its very important to have something to hold onto that helps ground and connect U/us back to O/our experience and trip. I have many little reminders and many ways to focus on her and to be excited while waiting with anticipation about O/our future plans to meet. These days will disappear quickly and before W/we know it W/we will be back in each others arms but there is a lot to manage in the meantime. Having items to hold onto, memories to hold onto, and anticipation for plans yet to come can go a long way to helping manage drop not only for myself but for my slave as well. 

 

I hope that all of those who read my words today find some benefit even if O/our situation is not Y/yours. It may offer some insight and perhaps even guidance and I hope it manages to make a difference in Y/your perspective and understanding. 

 

Mstr J

 

2 years ago. March 13, 2022 at 3:27 AM

Good Evening Cage friends,

 

Tonight I wanted to take a moment and speak about an instance that occured during Mikayla's trip. This is specific to her because as much as I was present and apart of the experience W/we had two vastly different roles in the experience. 

 

In many ways I was utterly helpless and beyond "existing next to her" I wasn't very able to do "anything." Now that is both true and not true. 

 

The fact of the matter is that many times and moments will occur when as a Dominant there isnt anything you can do but be present, exist and try to soothe the discomfort your property feels or is experiencing. It's akin to sitting next to someone while they vomit. Rubbing their back and just being there. It doesn't *DO* much, but at the same time it offers comfort and support. It tells them I am beside you, I care, I am here and I am hoping for a speedy recovery that brings relief. 

 

So let me tell you a story. 

 

It was one of the most gorgeous days W/we had experienced while in Florida. It was an absolute perfect beach day and as W/we woke up and had coffee (in the absolute best mugs possible) W/we sat in some lounge chairs that were put out for the cottage goers to enjoy. W/we drank our coffee nestled in each other's arms and pondered what the day might have in store. Little did W/we know that my decision to start O/our perfect day with a paddle on the ocean kayaks would be a bit more "exciting" than W/we bargained for. 

 

So the cottage that W/we stayed at before O/our cruise had these ocean kayaks that could be used by the guests. Given the weather and that W/we only had one day to really spend at the cottage I made the decision that in the morning W/we would go out for a paddle and that when W/we got back W/we would head off to the beach. So Mikayla requested that I attend to the kayaks and ensure "no spiders were hidden" as she set about preparing the necessary items for the beach and getting prepared for the next stage of the trip. 

 

I walked down the docks and flipped over both kayaks making sure no spiders were anywhere. Although I should have been more thorough in my investigation. But as W/we dropped off all of the essential items and carried the bare minimum on U/us we plopped the kayaks into the water and I helped her get into her kayak and she helped me get into mine after. And W/we set out. 

 

W/we paddled and began by going with the flow of the waves, allowing O/ourselves to be pushed and in the far off distance made a determination to see if W/we could make it to the causeway. W/we had amazing conversation and a lovely time looking at the houses on the edge of the water. Admiring the structure and design of quite a few extravagant homes. Talking plans, ideas, concepts of what W/we liked and didnt like about the form of the structures. 

 

At one point I spotted a little alcove of an inlet and it was providence that made me call out, "Hey lets check that out!" So we paddled into the space between the homes and looked around enjoying the view until Mikayla spotted what was either an alligator chilling or some driftwood. W/we werent going to venture close enough to find out and immediately high tailed it out of there. 

 

But this is where everything went absolutely sideways. As W/we exited the inlet and were about to begin O/our journey forward towards the causeway it happened that Mikayla capsized. Fortunately W/we didnt stray far enough from the shore and W/we emptied the water out of kayak and attempted to go on O/our way again. Almost immediately she capsized again. At this point concern was beginning to mount. After she capsized once more W/we swapped kayaks and I immediately took a dunk in the water. Something had gone horribly wrong and the kayak was no longer functioning. 

 

W/we got Mikayla to the shore and I went back through the inlet to check to see if it would be possible to get access to the road from there. Fortune had it that W/we just needed to trespass through some private property to get out, but the roadway was right there. So I went back and one last time W/we tried to just get Mikayla back through the inlet but she could not go more than a few yards before she fell back into the water. Stress had been mounting and at one moment when she capsized into seaweed surrounded by all of the potential hazards she had been warning and educating me about (deadly water snakes because it was their perfect hideout) she called "Red, red, red"

 

Now, I am immensely grateful for this experience. Why? Because it taught U/us important lessons about who W/we each are. It gave me an opportunity to show her how I handle a crisis and in what ways W/we manage stress, fear, being overwhelmed and terror. When Mikayla fell into the seaweed and terror had taken hold of her the most important thing I could do was help U/us take a step back and put her back onto solid ground. Fortunately there were a set of stairs that W/we managed to get her safely to, out of the water, out of danger and immediately she was able to calm. Because I had U/us. I created a plan, and no matter how long it would take I was going to solve this. 

 

As I paddled away I realized that even if I got back W/we would still have to deal with the kayak so I turned back around and told her I would get the kayak out of the water. I attempted to push the kayak through the inlet and as much as I was making progress Mikayla had a much brighter idea and using her hair tie secured the kayak to the back of mine. I paddled through the inlet and when I reached the edge of the shore as I attempted to lift the kayak out of the water I realized it was beyond my ability. It was so weighed down I could barely budge the thing. I went back down the edge of the inlet and I saw a black plug at the bottom of the kayak and I felt like a fool. I knew what had happened. I immediately opened the plug and allowed the kayak to drain all of the water that had infiltrated the vessel. As the weight lessened as the water released I turned the kayak upside down as I lifted it out of the water and with absolute horror I saw the hole that had caused U/us all this grief. 

 

At this point Mikayla had managed to get herself through the backyard of the home she had been stranded behind and met up with me as I was lifting the kayak out of the water. When understanding dawned on both of U/us W/we were immensely grateful for all the ways W/we had been cared for. That this failed right where W/we had a chance to get out, that despite the danger W/we had unknowingly been in W/we were safe and made it through. W/we dragged the damaged kayak through the yard and out onto the street and roadway. I promised her I would be back and I set off to paddle against the ocean waves to get U/us back to the rest of our trip. 

 

This was an amazing opportunity for both of U/us. It proved to me that my slave knows herself well enough that she will call her safe word when she goes beyond her limit. It showed me how she handles fear. How she manages herself in a crisis. How she responds to uncertain circumstance. How she takes direction and listens when things arent going as planned. It showed me a great deal the quality of her character, it allowed me to see her in the truest sense of who she is. It bonded U/us deeply in that moment of adversity and in many ways it strengthened her understanding and trust in me. I proved my mettle in how I managed a crisis. It showed my ability to remain calm despite all things going wrong. It was an absolute blessing in disguise and yet it didn't stop there. (Although I may leave that portion of the story up to Mikayla to tell)

 

Needless to say when I got back to the dock my slave was already waiting for me there. Waving me down, showing me she was safe. That W/we had survived and managed O/our ordeal. From there W/we got all things back where they belonged and even had a chance to bump into the owner of the cottages to inform them of what had happened. When all was said and done, W/we had grown in O/our relationship and dynamic. W/we laughed and smiled about how W/we were cared for, protected, and looked after. How all things just worked out exactly as they needed to. Then W/we took off to enjoy an amazing day at the beach. 

 

I think one of the most important things about this experience is that despite the fact I couldn't stop Mikayla from falling into the water, despite the fact I couldnt keep her fear at bay, despite the fact I couldn't stop her being overwhelmed I could do something. I helped her take a step back and get onto solid ground. I returned her to safety and then sorted the mess. But even still when she approached me with a better solution I was receptive enough to accept her brilliant solution. I was able to adapt my plan with a part of her execution that made moving the kayak much easier and simpler. It was part collaboration. W/we are much better together each fulfilling O/our role in O/out dynamic. W/we fit and work together very well. It is essential for U/us and how W/we operate that each individual while talented and whole and happy within who W/we are still bolsters and makes one another more complete. I can accomplish much more because of the support of my slave, and she is made much stronger because of my presence. It is exactly how it should be for U/us. 

 

To those that read my words today I hope Y/you find inspiration. I hope Y/you find success on Y/your journey whatever that may look like for Y/you. 

 

Mstr J

 

 

2 years ago. March 2, 2022 at 5:07 PM

To be reborn. 

 

To be remade within yourself. 

 

I am my own chrysalis. 

 

I am evolving underneath my skin. 

 

Inside my mind. 

 

Within my heart. 

 

My soul is weaving, spinning

 

Creating new energy

 

A ripple in My universe, my body cracks 

 

I begin to emerge from my physical self

 

New ability, new strength

 

The husk of who I was left behind

 

The old skin of a man no longer needed, shed

 

With lessons learnt, walk forward in confidence. 

2 years ago. February 25, 2022 at 12:58 AM

Hello Cage friends,

 

So many who wander around my blog (or my slaves) will know that W/we just got back from a trip together. W/we had many amazing moments, laughs, giggles, silly interactions, joy and yes W/we also hit some real life scenarios that were full of hard, frustrating, overwhelming spaces. It was an amazing journey, an amazing trip and the one thing I was so damn grateful for was that no matter what W/we went through whether it was joy or frustrating W/we still saw value and how to navigate those spaces safely. 

 

There were a few moments when I had to choose patience and sit and watch silently observing carefully weighing how, when, where and if I should step in to assist my slave as she navigated her frustration, overwhelmed and at one particular moment Holy meatballs, Red, Red, RED of terror and complete *done* with the situation. Now I will share about that moment later on as that is not the focus of this post but I will state that I was not the cause of her *finished with this moment* terror induced event. It just happened and W/we are so fortunate and blessed that I spied a way out and that God granted us mercy in all things to resolve that situation so that W/we did not have to worry. (After the fact) 

 

No, today's blog is about myself. (Because I am "selfish" that way)

 

I wanted to speak about the nature of O/our dynamic and how I receive support and strength from my slave, just as she receives support and strength from me. W/we do not simply take from each other but cycle and return what is given freely between U/us. 

 

During the trip there were a few moments that shone brightly with the love, care, respect, value and support that is added into my life by my slave. At least from my perspective. 

 

There is a recurring theme within all of these moments and most of them stem from my own fears. Fears that spring from doubt, anxiety, nervousness, and perception. It is fear that comes from being human and susceptible to what may seem impossible, hopeless, overwhelming and scary. 

 

So here are three moments from my trip that my slave offered support and helped me grow not only as a Dominant, but as a person. 

 

Number 1) The FlowRider (Location: Aft deck 13 of O/our cruise ship) We had been exploring the ship just having arrived. We didn't really need to be doing much except wander around and explore because O/our stateroom wasn't yet ready (and W/we had already been yelled at by an innumerable amount of employees to "not be here") So during O/our exploration W/we found the water slides and you better bet your butt W/we had races down as there were two side by side. It baffled U/us how no one was even attempting the slides but it afforded U/us the chance to run up and slide down time after time. Of course after O/our races I was undefeated although the attendant did call one a tie.... I am not entirely convinced but I let it ... slide hehehe. After W/we had run through a few rounds my slave was very excited to attempt the FlowRider and I was less than enthusiastic. She had even asked before attempting the slides if I had interest to which I replied "Nope!" Honestly I didnt want to make a fool of myself. I didn't want to fall down and hurt me, I didn't want to not be able to succeed and the easiest way to avoid all of that was to simply not go on. I had seen plenty of people attempt and it made me nervous. 

 

But lo and behold my slave did not lack the courage, and she marched over and signed herself up going through the disclaimer forms (with my permission) and as she had just finished I knew there was no way in the world I was going to allow her to do this thing without me. She was brave. Bold. She had strength and resolve and determination and I needed to join her. I knew I would regret it after the trip was over. So as she had just finished signing her waiver forms, I was already in line behind her signing my life away too. 

 

And so it went, W/we walked over towards the starting line (although apparently W/we went the wrong way) and as W/we got in line there was absolutely no one around and W/we were able to jump on first and second. Since she was ahead of me the attendant guided her over and showed her how to set and launch herself into the water. She did very well and managed to get up on her knees on the board. It was amazing to watch her in that moment. She made me so proud and I was excited to be able to join her. When it was my turn I pushed off and I was shocked that I didn't immediately faceplant into oblivion. But as I went through following the attendant I actually did very well. So much so that there exists a video of my attempt alongside some commentary from a couple standing next to my lovely and amazing slave with quotes such as "Here's where she (the attendant) gets him to faceplant" and "Wow, he must have an impressive core" uttered by the female companion. Not only did I impress myself, have an amazing remarkable experience but I impressed some random people I will never meet again. 

 

All because my slave makes me stronger. All because my slave gives me courage. All because my slave makes me a better human. All because I am really competitive and couldn't be "shown up". 

 

Number 2) Karaoke (Location: The Star Lounge, Deck 5 of O/our cruise ship) 

Now this experience has some Day 1 and Day 2 details. If you aren't aware Mikayla and I first "met" at karaoke. After we had been talking for what feels like months but may have been weeks I really can't remember how long it took, she invited me to join in a kinky karaoke event. Even this space was nerve wracking for me because I didnt sing. I liked it but was always so self conscious about it that I didnt do it in front of people. I didn't want to be mocked. I didn't want to be terrible. I didn't want to embarrass myself. But we met at karaoke. She wore the most gorgeous dress, one of her best. I even showed up from work right when it started so I could see her. I had to disappear after 5 minutes but when I got home I joined again and afterwards W/we talked until it was morning for her and late into my evening. 

 

Now when W/we got to O/our ship on Day 1 W/we checked the events and goings on. W/we saw Welcome Karaoke!! And knew at 9 pm W/we would attend. So after a lovely first exciting day W/we got ready and arrived at karaoke promptly at 9 pm.... Only to find out that the list of participants had been completely filled 20 minutes before they even began. Which meant since W/we showed up on time there was no chance of U/us singing that night. So W/we milled about and listened to the first person who sang. His name is Michael C, and he was pretty exceptional. He had the crowd involved and did a damn good job of getting everyone excited and into the evening. It was a great first impression (and will be important to later on in the story). After W/we watched his performance I decided that it wasn't really worth it to just watch and I felt quite a bit tired so W/we returned to our stateroom for the rest of the evening to rejuvenate and prepare for the next day. 

 

So on Day 2 after a perfect day at Coco Cay (which was filled with more waterslides, ocean, fish, sand, hammocks, locking our items in a locker, tubeslides and wave pools) W/we got back to the ship and looked at the events available and saw there was Rock-a-rookie which was a live karaoke experience, with the band that plays the star lounge during the voyage. Again late into the evening (but showing up early) W/we arrived and went to get sorted for the show. Because it was a live event the list of songs was drastically reduced and the management stated at the beginning that there would only be 10 slots. Since there were a lot of people lined up they would raffle who got a chance to sing. That radically shifted my perception (along with not having the songs I was excited and wanting to sing) heck yes I want to do this. So I kind of shrugged and told Mikayla I wasnt interested but that she would. As she looked over the list and wasnt very interested in the song choices either W/we happen to bump into a recognized face. It was Michael C from the first night of karaoke. As W/we got to chatting it came up that since there "weren't any songs and the raffle" W/we informed him W/we werent going to perform. At which point he piped up and said "If I sing "I want it that way" will you guys join me?" A little mortified but guessing it wouldn't happen because of the raffle I agreed. 

 

After W/we found a spot to settle down to watch and enjoy the show I was really nervous. My stomach was in knots and I was terrified and hoping that W/we wouldn't be selected. Honestly I hadnt listened to the backstreet boys much and I did not know the song very well. Mikayla prodded me to look up the lyrics and went over them with me. W/we spent time "learning" the song. But I kept saying Oh we should just leave. I dont wanna. Maybe W/we wont get selected. Until the organizer notified the crowd there were only 13 singers so they would try to fit everyone in. Eventually he called out "Michael and friends" and as W/we walked up front I felt like I might just throw up. As the song started my body was nervous and trembling, my leg was shaking like a dog scratching its ear or roadrunner getting ready to flee from Wile E Coyote. 

 

W/we were so fortunate to have Michael as most eyes were on him, and he killed it. He sang his heart out and really gave the crowd a show. As W/we stood together backing up Michael I knew I could lean on my slave. I knew she was with me. I knew it didnt matter what W/we did so long as W/we had fun. And I began to. W/we got all the way through the song and as W/we walked back to O/our table there were a few comments about how well W/we had performed as the backup singers. I know Mikayla was just as scared as I was. And she knew that song wasnt in her range but she stood beside me and belted out as loud as she could. W/we got to sing together even if it wasnt how it had originally been planned, and W/we survived. No one died. No one laughed. No one made fun. Now I will always cherish the memory of the first time I sang with my slave. How she stood beside me. How she helped give me courage. How she helped me step out of my shell. How she gave me a fantastic memory that will live on forever. 

 

She is my strength. She is my courage. She builds me up. She is my support. She is my inspiration. She is my motivation. 

 

Number 3) Secrets (Name of the resort after the cruise) Now I have to say a few things. This trip I did not push O/our boundaries. This trip I focused on learning U/us. How W/we fit. How naturally W/we exist. I could have attempted 1 scene/moment to try and stretch U/us but I kept U/us in fairly tame territory given what W/we enjoy and want to try. This was partly due to not knowing if I was ready/capable but also as W/we were meeting for the first time I was still learning her. Learning the limits of O/our touch and entanglement. I acknowledge I should have set 1 intention to try to push U/us in one area of common interest. But there is another line of thinking here too. I'm in this dynamic for the long haul. As is she. There isnt a rush to try everything today because W/we will naturally build those spaces of trust and gain those areas of play as W/we develop O/our close physical and intimate relationship. There should also be something to look forward to. Something to be excited to try. Something to want to have. Something to foster hope and desire for the future. 

 

Now in this space it was liberating. There was a freedom here that wasn't anywhere else. Although W/we definitely made an impression everywhere W/we went but here W/we were among similar minded individuals. There was nudity if you wanted. You could have any type of sex anywhere (so long as you were inside the premises with a few restrictions to certain areas that could be seen from public spaces) But even with this space around U/us I was struggling finding a mindset. I was having a hard time feeling comfortable. I was again nervous. Fearful. I was concerned how I might be perceived. How I may make a fool of myself. How I might let my slave down by being less than the man she knows. For any simple or silly reason. It wasnt based on anything other than overwhelming fear. 

 

The interesting part though that really sunk in for me was when W/we went to go sit in the hot tub one day. As W/we approached the woman sitting in the tub commented on my amazing water shoes that Mikayla had gotten for O/our trip. As W/we started chatting some of that stress and anxiousness fell away. Eventually W/we got to a section of conversation about how the woman was so anxious about being in the space. How her partner (I honestly for the life of me cant remember their names) was so ready to dive in. That he helped her find grounded calm spaces and help her navigate those areas. In that moment I realized that W/we are all human. W/we all have O/our own demons. Those areas in O/our lives W/we struggle with. Those things that seem to knock U/us down. To keep U/us from exploring, or trying, or doing. 

 

As I listened I began to understand once again on a deeply personal level its not about anyone or anything other than those inside the dynamic. So long as I am being careful, conscious, with safety in my mind as I play and guide O/oUR dynamic. Because it is O/ours alone. No one can tell me what is right. No one can tell me what to do. Or how *I should or shouldn't* Part of this lifestyle is tolerance. W/we are all grown adults making O/our own decisions. Based upon O/our history. O/our experience. What works or doesn't. What is punishment in one dynamic may be seen as abuse in another. What is desired in one dynamic may be revolting to another. W/we are all unique. W/we are all finding O/our ways. W/we are all looking for what is RIGHT FOR U/uS. 

 

It doesn't matter who looks in and may disagree with my methods. That is their opinion. But my methods work exceptionally well for me, and my slave. So long as W/we enter into the world with intention, forethought, care, understanding, acceptance, consent and agreement then do Y/you. W/we practice RACK in O/our dynamic because W/we understand that certain areas of O/our play are not safe. There is no way to make it *safe*. But W/we acknowledge the risk. W/we educate O/ourselves on how to manage it. W/we look at warning signs, and what to do *IF* something goes horribly sideways. W/we are responsible and make decisions and act with intentional choice. But at the end of the day W/we need to do what is right for U/us and how I see the vision for O/our growth. Sometimes its about learning to accept that no one else can tell you what to do. But it's learning to listen. To hear what is happening. To adjust and account for what is going on today. Then make an appropriate decision based upon facts, information, knowledge, understanding grounded with intention about the future Y/you desire to lead. 

 

I am learning how to be authentic to myself. I am learning how my slave supports me. I am proud of the woman she is. I am honoured to have her by my side because she lifts me up. She makes me better. She helps stoke my imagination. She pushes the boundaries of my thoughts. She asks me questions which evolve my thinking. She educates me. She gives me guidance by showing how to handle her. She gives me insights into being her Hero by communicating. By sharing. I do my job by listening and connecting the dots to the future I need for U/us. W/we work in collaboration to better each other by actively supporting who W/we are. I couldn't be who I am without her. She couldn't be who she is without me. 

 

These are just some lessons and experiences that were gained over the course of O/our trip. I hope those that take the time to read my words today find value, insight and growth from peeking in on O/our journey. 

 

Mstr J

 

 

 

2 years ago. February 20, 2022 at 7:17 AM

Good morning Cage friends, 

 

When I arrived home after travelling nearly all day from my trip I noticed something about the space. It was completely empty, and the extensive loneliness and lack of presence of my slave felt huge in the echoes of the rooms. I have worked at cleaning up my home and it has been cleaned, organized and radically improved now that there aren't any animals destroying the property. It stays just as I left it. But as it has been cleaned and organized there is more of an echo in the space. The sound bounces back at you. Just a little bit. 

 

It seemed as I walked through the door to my home that the sound that reverberated in that space was being amplified as if to say "You don't have your slave beside you anymore. You are alone now." The silence and quiet seemed to loom and grow. The sounds seemed to continue that feeling of emptiness. 

 

Yet as I began to unpack my carryon and personal item from the plane, as I removed the items that my slave had given to me I felt and experienced her presence. She was and still is beside me. She exists in the ornament I selected. She is wrapping herself around me and keeping me warm as I wear the fleece jacket she gave me. All the items and things that hold her energy, her presence, her love for me could be felt and would fill the space. 

 

My home is empty and still full. 

 

Thats the beauty of D/s. There is such a connection unlike any other relationship. It can be felt across the world, and as I know O/our dynamic better. As I know how W/we fit together. As I know the ways W/we match. It all comes together and gives me support and care and hope. W/we have a bright future together. I know this. I saw her at her best and parts of her worst. I saw how she manages life, money, people, fear, worry, terror, joy, laughter, time. I saw her in such a complete way and I knew that she holds immense value in my life and will serve me well. 

 

I was in a long distance relationship back when I was just beginning university. My girlfriend at the time had been accepted to go to the only school in Canada that had the program she wanted for her dream career. We began dating at the end of high school and attempted to continue a long distance relationship into university. It was challenging, it was full of difficulty and hardship. It was not an easy thing. I must admit I was a radically different person then. I didn't have much self confidence. I was stuck in a mindset of "I'm boring. I don't do anything. Ive never been anywhere. I havent travelled. I haven't experienced anything exciting." The funny thing is there was no reason to lack confidence in myself and while now I have a much healthier relationship I still struggle feeling confident. I still get terribly nervous. I still struggle with doubts and concerns. I still get way into my head regarding certain topics. But back then it was much much worse. That mentality created the downfall of that relationship. Not feeling confident. Not being confident. It created many issues and cracks in the relationship which eventually brought it to ruin. 

 

Now, having D/s as a framework there is no doubt. There is no fear. There is no lack of confidence. Except when I am trying something completely new. When I doubt my capability to successfully manage *task*. Utilizing D/s to create a healthy long distance relationship that is based upon mutual respect, admiration, joy, increased value from both sides, with two individually healthy people who are better together and add to each other. 

 

This dynamic was built properly. This relationship was put together piece by piece slowly. There were many things W/we didnt do this trip. But even those things help breed excitement for the future. For what is to come. Because now W/we know each other. W/we know how naturally W/we exist together. 

 

As much as I have known Mikayla, as much as W/we have spent nearly everyday talking for almost 2 years I still hadnt learnt her. I hadnt known her. I knew, but didnt comprehend. Now, I do comprehend. Now I am certain about the calibre of her character, her integrity. I saw it with my own eyes just as I have seen it everyday through a computer screen. She is the same. Well she is radically different because of my influence, but she is consistent. She is authentic and exactly who she is every day. 

 

I am blessed and grateful to have found someone who marches beside me so in sync. Now, as I sit at work and think about my home and the space that is mine (for now >> future blog coming about this change in my life) I am reminded with little trophies from our trip how W/we are connected. The distance between U/us is irrelevant. Because I exist within her. She exists within me. W/we carry each other into every space W/we walk. Separately and together. 

 

Now, O/our trip had some hiccups and bumps. W/we had some wrong turns, some extra detours. W/we will be sharing more about O/our trip in the days to come including highlights, mishaps, adventures and misadventures. But it was beautiful. It truly was a perfect trip and I don't regret the things W/we did or didnt do. W/we have a long future ahead of U/us. W/we have time to grow with each other and try different and new things together. Now W/we get to begin planning O/our next meeting when she comes to my space. When she finds her way truly home to my world. 

 

I am excited. I am grateful for the memories and all the reminders I have. I am grateful that I am a different man. I deeply appreciate the silence inside my home, and how my Mikayla presides within the objects that were gifted to me. Filling my space with her voice, her touch, her essence and her energy. The silence is deafening. 

 

Mstr J

 

 

2 years ago. February 16, 2022 at 7:52 PM

Good afternoon Cage friends,

 

It is finally that time where life has shifted, experience has been gained and many new memories have been forged. 

 

I have overcome so many different life altering events that it is now the time to change my name and move forward into the future I desire alongside the most amazing woman who has chosen and selected my Dominance. She still chooses me every day, to guide, to nurture and inspire her. 

 

As I have come through life and managed a few different scenarios I feel it is now the time to lay down my previous moniker of Esvaerdarnn and pick up one more suitable to my current life, my current thought process, my current mentality and with an eye towards the future. 

 

I am waiting at My gate to return home after My trip. There have been many exciting highlights and some instructional moments where I have learned more about who I am, the nature of Myself and the nature of My slave. I was able to give her a new name to claim and shift and move forward with Me. 

 

W/we are excited about what the future holds although that doesn't diminish the difficulty of having to walk O/our separate ways for now. It is a temporary goodbye but one that was challenging. It was a place for U/us to grow. It was a space to navigate and learn E/each other once again. There have been so many moments where W/we learned each other and grew within O/our dynamic and now W/we are stronger for it. 

 

I cant wait to share some insights of O/our trip, but for now the focus is on both of U/us making it safely home and preparing to slip back into "normal" life for each respective self. There is a new normal to the interaction though, and I am excited to explore, learn and grow together as W/we continue to develop who and what W/we are. 

 

Mstr J

2 years ago. February 4, 2022 at 10:09 PM

Hello Cage friends,

 

She has landed. According to flightaware.com her flight has landed 39 minutes early and she is in Orlando awaiting my arrival. 

 

I am about to begin boarding in the next 5 minutes. 

 

This is the final flight until W/we are connected. She will have some reading to do while I make the last leg of the journey. Its been a long road to this point but I am beyond excited to test myself. To prove myself. To enjoy myself. 

 

This has been an earned trip and will offer many revelations about my true nature. I will get to coexist with my authentic self. I get to be with someone who understands me just as well as I understand them. 

 

Thank you to those who have supported U/us. Thank you for care, for kind words, for compassion. For real truthful critical observations and hard conversations. Thank you for helping me to better myself and ultimately my property. 

 

Mstr J

2 years ago. February 3, 2022 at 7:13 AM

Good Evening Cage friends,

 

Today is an exceptional day. Tonight was the last time I had to drive into work before my vacation. I was smiling like an absolute goofball thinking that once my shift is over it will be 24 hours until I am on a plane. 

 

Now this whole scenario has been 5 months of planning and orchestrating. W/we have had ups and downs. Shifts in regulations and restrictions and the whole while I would say "Well its still months away, let's not let it bother U/us. Who knows how else it will change before O/our trip." 

 

Now there is literal hours before this plan comes to fruition. The seeds have been planted and now it is time to reap what has been sown. 

 

W/we had a really important discussion today. It was about consent, scene construction, structure and form and a reminder of the importance of check ins. I wont lie as I have had so much on my mind as often as I had this trip in the back of my mind there was a noise of confusion about handling my divorce, organizing my home, preparing to settle assets and so many other *things* that required my attention that I hadn't truly been focused on the interaction that is about to happen. 

 

Now yes I am a newer Dominant. The truth is I have not been in any physical spaces with any s type. This will be my first interaction. With any slave. With any submissive. With anyone willing to offer their entire soul, mind, heart and body before me. This will be the first interaction with MY slave. 

 

I had a mini freak out when I had to actually go back and think through a few critical questions. What does my Dominance look like? What matters to me? What will I make a priority? The reality is that being an online Dominant is vastly different than an in person Dominant. Like all things there is a learning curve. I know how to answer the theoretical questions. I know what answers to give to "pass the test". But DOING and knowing what to do can be different. 

 

The thing is I haven't planned. I haven't thought enough. And yet I have thought too much. I am a minimizer of myself. I put myself low in an attempt to be humble. To keep myself from inflating my own ego. But by constantly putting myself down I am doing damage to who I am. There is a balance as I do hold importance in remaining humble, but I need to allow my confidence in who and what I am to rise to the surface. It is not an inflation of my ego but a statement of fact. I am more than competent. I know what I need to do. I will simply relax, let my fear empty. Let my anxiety and nerves release. I communicate well and as I find my Dominance so long as I continue to communicate well then W/we will have a phenomenal time. 

 

One important thing I have learned is that having a clear path so that you do not confuse yourself is very helpful. It helps you communicate effectively. Because clear direction even as things shift will hold massive value. I can change my mind, and will. It will be how I navigate that shift and communicate the alterations of plans mid motion that will give peace to my slave. If I am uncertain and don't know where I am leading then my slave has no hope of following. She can only follow my steps, and if I am a stumbling drunk in the dark there is no hope for her to trace my path. I need to illuminate her path. I need to show her that even as life shifts W/we are still stable as W/we navigate the turning tides. 

 

I am excited for fun in my life. I am excited for joy. I am excited for laughter, jovial light entertainment. I am excited for the opportunity I have in front of me. In the coming days I get to prove myself to me. I get to turn from a fledgling and put on my big boy pants. 

 

Now, I just need to finish work. But we have another long night ahead of us. 

 

To those that read my words this morning I thank you for your time. I hope some insights are gained that assist you on your journey, and I hope as I transform myself over this trip that I may offer more insights to help guide those still finding themselves. 

 

Mstr J

2 years ago. January 30, 2022 at 7:44 PM

Good Afternoon Cage friends, 

 

If you have already read a certain blog of a certain TVS you will have an inkling as to what this post may be about. In some small ways. 

 

The other day I tested positive for Covid. I wasnt unwell. I was barely symptomatic although I do believe I was testing the cosmos by claiming in a recent blog it had been years since I was unwell. Which is the truth. But when you flaunt your amazing talent and skill sometimes it just seems to come back to bite you in the butt. 

 

I have moved through my isolation and am free to do what I need to, and I still had many responsibilities that I had to manage and accomplish. I do not intend this hiccup to stop our trip to meet. We will see each other in just a few days and despite the uncertainty this is a blessing in disguise. It simplifies how I get to move and really hasnt been too big of an inconvenience to life. Although I know many others where that wasnt the case. I am very fortunate. I know this and I am thankful, grateful and very blessed. 

 

To the note of responsibility. 

 

As Dominants many times over it is our responsibility to manage life. To overcome obstacles. To be accountable. To resolve issues. To fix problems. To create solutions. 

 

The thing is there are times to take on responsibility and there are times to remove responsibility. Let me give you two examples from my personal life. 

 

I was caring for my ex wife's dogs. Well all her animals but she had just taken her cats back. So it was just her Great Dane and her German Shepard. The thing is I knew I wasn't and couldn't properly care for them. I work a 12 hour shift. I work an hour one direction away. I could not properly give them the time and energy they required to live full and happy lives. These animals were a burden of responsibility that because of the circumstance I could not appropriately manage. I know how much better their lives will be within a home that has the proper time and ability to care for them. They were a huge burden on me in the sense that I couldn't live my life because in the back of my head I was constantly thinking "I need to get home to let the dogs out. I need to feed them. Its been hours and hours." The longer I stayed away from my home the louder this voice became. And I couldn't always avoid it. Especially when we had an issue at work that required my time past the duration of my shift. Which meant an even greater burden of responsibility. 

 

Yesterday I gave my ex wife her dogs and her vehicle. I packed everything I could up and delivered all of what her property was at the time and location we specified. When we were done the relief of a burden that I couldn't properly care for was lifted off of me. I felt light. I felt free. I was no longer encumbered by the responsibility I felt to animals that werent even mine. So I went for a bike ride. I went and had a meal. I went and watched a movie. Because I didnt have to be home. And when I arrived home later in the evening I was greeted with silence. I didn't have urine or fecal matter to clean out of my home. I didn't have dogs who were so wound up they just wanted to play in my face. 

 

Yesterday a turning point was reached in my divorce. A massive step forward to reclaiming myself and my property and my life. I see the path forward and as this burden has been lifted from my shoulders I can now expend more energy and time in spaces I choose. Like focusing on my vacation. Like organizing my thoughts about what, how, when and where I want to choose ownership over my property when I see her. I am free. I am renewed. I am a man reborn. 

 

Sometimes it is required that we accept more responsibility. Sometimes we need to step up and take on more work. But sometimes, we need to know when to step back. I have known I needed to step back for a long time now. With this final act of deliverance though I was finally able to. For it, I am a new man. I am more aligned with my purpose. I am more myself. 

 

There was another instance where I was also taking on the responsibility of finalizing the paperwork for my divorce. Now any who know me will understand paperwork is not my forte. Especially legal jargon filled paperwork. My slave was doing all she could to assist me in the process and we were muddling through. We would have gotten it done. It would have been accomplished because we are capable but the stress of trying to manage it was crushing at moments. Many times over I felt utterly defeated. 

 

I finally managed to convince the mediator that was settling my divorce that yes in fact he had told both my ex wife and I that the cost of finalizing the paperwork had been included in the payment and that he would send everything over to his paralegal presently. 

 

Now these stories are very similar and yet quite different. One instance because of circumstance I was not able to manage appropriately. The other circumstance I could have managed and would have eventually but there was a person far greater skilled than I at handling that issue. 

 

A good Dominant will know when its time to accept more responsibility and when to let go of responsibility. I believe that when there is a resource available that is more adept at resolving a situation it is a wise Dominants obligation to relinquish immediate responsibility to the person more readily prepared to handle that issue. It's about knowing your strength and weaknesses. Its about using what you have available to you to the best of your ability. To take advantage of the knowledge, skill, ability and talent of those that exist in your life. To lean on those who are more suited for a task and delegate roles and assignments to those most capable of accomplishing the job. When you relinquish that task to someone else you free up the mental, emotional and physical energy and can refocus that somewhere else on things that are a higher priority in your life. 

 

Life is about management. Sometimes there is no one else to lean on. Sometimes you just have to roll up your sleeves and do the work yourself. Sometimes though it is a wiser decision to give up responsibility to give that task to someone more capable of handling the circumstance. When you do there is a great sense of freedom. You allow yourself more opportunity to do good work in the areas that you hold strength in. 

 

To those that read my words today I thank you, and I hope that my words will assist on your journey and make the path you walk an easier one. Have a wonderful day.