Whoever invented chat really had a hard on against DOMs, in my opinion.
Before I explain, it's important to remember that I'm in a two star hotel, half a vape pen into the wind, and trying to decide if the wall plaster contains patterns of tiny sheep and well groom french poodles. You don't remember me telling you that before? Then this article won't make any sense to you. Pay attention.
This instant chat thing is just too much for Dom's of a of certain age. In the days when phones were just phones, you'd call each other maybe in the morning, and then probably at night. Sometimes you would play, sometimes you would talk, sometimes you'd just stay quiet with each other until things got awkward. Then you'd hand up the phone. Maybe go make yourself a cup of mac 'n cheese and watch some TV, go for a walk.
Then bed.
Beautiful. Both parties invested a reasonable amount of time in their relationship, and got to see who hooks up with Colin on the Below Deck finale. Like I said, beautiful.
But now the phone is not just a phone. Now the phone is smart. And it demands sacrifice.
I get my first good morning at 3:00 am, because either I can't sleep and decide to risk a text or she can't. So from 3:00 am to 3:45 am, we try to figure things out.
At 6:00 am, after sleeping almost 4 hours, I have to text my partner good morning. I know she's not awake, but if she finds out I was awake and didn't text good morning, then there's trouble. Then I'm a terrible communicator and "insensitive to [her] most basic needs."
At 7:00 am to 8:00 am. some play and chit chat. At 8:00 am I have to walk the dog. Instead of enjoyng the sunshine or quiet of the neighborhood, the texting/sexting continues and we engage on a varitety of subjects between 9:00 am and 12:00 pm
At 12:00 pm. We take a short break for lunch, but it isn't really a break as the texts keep coming. They're just of a "lighter" variety.
Sometime around 2pm I zone out on our texting and start watching a tv show, forgetting I was texting. 20 minutes later I send a text and receive a snarky response. Sometimes I'll apologize. Sometimes defend myself. Sometimes explain what happened.
All three of these responses incur more snarkiness and 5 minutes later, I am psycoanalyzed. Here is were I will generally escalate the argument instead of daddying my sub. From about 4PM to 9PM we text argue. Or I argue while my partner merely "tells the truth."
Sometime between 9 and 10pm, we've found our dynamic balance again. We might sext or chat for another hour or more. If we're lucky, one of us will basically pass out at this point. (If it's me, that's at least an hour of angry text exchanges by the next morning).
It's 11:30 p.m. I've been up since 6 am on four hours sleep. But I still can't sleep becuase, America and tik tok, and adult swim. So let's say its 1:00 am by the time I go to sleep. By 3 am, I'm getting texts again or else it's 6 a.m.
All this is to say, I am not a dom for this modern age. I will crawl back in my crypt now. And dream of a relatively text-free life.
Finis
That's France for Finish.
P.S. I have no intention of posting this shit.
